(Everyone is at a backstage lounge of sorts.(
Des: ((sitting at the coffee table with Ren, sipping cherry crack(( Oi.
Ren: Kisama. ((sips milk((
Des: Oi oi!
Ren: Kisama.
Des: Ooooi!
Ren: Ki -
Des: SPOOKY BEAM! ((throws Spooky at Ren, a la Kumagorou((
Spooky: Squeek!
Ren: -sama! ((fallsover with a thud(( --+
Manta: They've been doing this for hours, Yoh-kun! o.o
Yoh: And it's STILL funny! ((Yoh-laugh((
Horohoro: Oi look!
Yoh: Nani? ((blink((
Horohoro: Readers! ((pointpoint(( There's readers here backstage! Isn't that a little strange?
Yoh: Hullo, readers!
Des: Oi - what, readers? Why? The fic already ended!
Ren: Stalkers. ((getting off the floor((
Des: Indeed. 'Allo, stalker-readers.
Ren: Go away! I won't sing any more! ((shoos stalkers((
Des: Awwh, but you'd sing for me! 3
Ren: I would not, kisama! --+ ((flushes irritably((
Manta: There they go again... ;; hehe
Yoh: You have a good voice, Ren! ((Yoh-laugh((
Ren: KISAMAAAAA! ((chases Yoh around with his kwan dao, face bright red((
Yoh: ((runs(( Ahahahaha...
Ren: MATTE! ((charges past Horohoro((
Horohoro: ((falls off his chair(( Temee! ((runs after Ren((
Manta: Ah, anou, eito, doushiyou! Yoh-kun, be careful! ((runs after the three of them((
Des: ((still seated at the coffee table; sips her cherry crack again and blinks apathetically at the four boys running and screaming in a circle around her and the table(( ... Where's Lyserg? o.o
Lyserg: ((pops out from under the table(( Yes?
Manta: What a strange place to be!
Lyserg: I was looking for my missing eraser. And my skills of deduction lead me to ...! Des!
Manta: It's probably completely used now. Des murders erasers. Pencils too.
Des: ((ignores them((
((AND THEN AMONG ALL THE CHAOS, the wall breaks apart, showering everyone in debris. Everyone freezes.((
Spirit of Fire: ((pulls his fist out of hte gaping hole he punched into the wall((
Des: Oh, that's nice! Plaster in my soda!
((Dust begins to clear, Hao's form starts appearing all shadowy-like((
Lyserg: HAOOOOO! O Kill...
Des: Down boy.
Lyserg: ((grr(( Why aren't you dead! Des let me kill you in the first chapter! And then she stole your pants!
Des: ...Oh yeah. Ha ha --;;;
Hao: ((wearing different pants(( I transmigrated!
Yoh: o.O Isn't it supposed to take a long time to do that?
Hao: Well, I'm sure it's been 500 years since Des last updated.
Des: Very funny, asshole.
Manta: ((standing at the doorway to the stage(( Minna-san...? ...Something's up with the trapdoor.
Hao: Moving on. Aren't you supposed to be doing a show...otouto?
Yoh: You completely missed it. ((Yoh-laugh((
Hao: What's this! I demand an encore performance.
Manta: Seriously! Minna-san! The trapdoor!
Horohoro: Eh? oo ((goes over to look(( Holy cow! OO
Hao: Well?
Yoh: XD;;; I don't think this is a good time for an encore.
Manta: OO
Des: What? oo ((walks over(( Jesus! OO
((Pan to the trapdoor, from which BEAMS OF DARKNESS are emanating, and all sorts of horrible noises are being made((
Ren: ((also over to look(( ...Hn. That could be bad.
Horohoro: Ya THINK?
((There is a loud screech, the trapdoor opens a lot more, and a large skeleton (with a pompadour) flies out. The trapdoor slams shut again. Everyone runs out onto the stage area((
Manta: OO It got Ryu-san!
Lyserg: What on earth is going on?
Yoh: That ... that... TT
Des: o.o?
Yoh: I think that's ANNA. TT
Lyserg: ...oo ...
Des: ... You mean to tell me that since I dropped her down a trapdoor, Anna's wrath has been building, and now it has reached an overdrive that she can use to kill us all?
Yoh: YES. TT
Des: ...Well fuck. o.o
((And as if things couldn't get any worse, the door from outside to the stage bursts open! X-LAW music blares((
Horohoro: Oh COME ON!
Marco: Hao, the evil of evils, is on this stage! We will smite you with the mighty blade of justice!
Des: There is no time!
Hao: ((in the back, snickering((
Des: You! ((points to Ren, Yoh, Manta and Horohoro(( You will be the mages to seal the demon gate! ((throws flowing black robes on them((
Horohoro: We're MAGES! ((pose-strike((
Ren: --;;;;
Yoh: Anna's going to kill me... Anna's going to kill me...
Horohoro: Be a man!
Des: That's the spirit! ((chucks a can of salt and some candles at them(( Here. o.O;;;
Manta: ...Controversial. oO;
Des: Shut up and seal. o.o ((pushes them off((
Ren: Che. -- ((starts lighting candles((
Meene: Can we get to the smiting now?
Des: No.
Marco: ((slaps Des(( Heretic! She supports the evil! XO
Des: Ow! Fuck! No killing Hao! You'll destroy my set!
Marco: ((ignoring everything she's saying(( SINNER! Prepare for judgement! SEI SHOUJO IRON MAIDEN JEANNE! ((and the chorus swells((
Jeanne: ((Iron maiden opens; puts Des in a cage and hangs her from the ceiling(( Will you repent?
Des: --;;; Whatever. I'll give you a chance to fight Hao!
Marco: Yay!
Everyone: ((gives him a strange look(( ...
Des: ...Moving on. You will not be fighting him in a way where anyone would be killed or any set destroyed. You must challenge Hao to...! A COMEDY BATTLE!
Meene: Unfair! Everyone knows Marco doesn't have a sense of humor!
Marco: NO! We will accept any challenge from a follower of Hao, that they may be destroyed!
Meene: Oh god. ((holds her forehead, shaking her head((
Jeanne: Sinners! We accept!
Hao: ((in the back of the room, convulsing with laughter((
Des: Do you accept, Hao? oO
Hao: ((rolls on the floor, cackling((
Des: I'll take that as a yes! ...Now let me out of this cage, damn you!
Marco: ((whacks cage with a stick(( How dare you befoul our maiden!
Des: ((piñata((
Jeanne: That will be enough, Marco. ((poufs the cage away((
Des: ((thud((
Marco: ... ((pokes her a few times with the stick((
Des: OI! ((gets up, steals Marco's stick, whacks him with it((
Marco: ((points his gun at her((
Des: Meep!
Hao: ((gathering his minions((
Opacho: Hao-sama, Opacho funny! 83
Macchi: w00t! XDDD Let's kick some X-LAW butt!
Zen-Ryou: WE CAN DO THE MUSIC! ((pose-strike, then spin over to the instruments((
Meene: Join us, Lyserg! We will punish Hao!
Lyserg: Okay!
Des: ((being shuffled into her host chair(( PUT THE GUN -DOWN-, MARCO! ((taps her cards against the desk((
Marco: ... -- ((puts the gun away and marches to the stage((
Des: ((sweatdrops(( Soooo... the first game will be Alphabet, for Marco, Meene, Lyserg and Jeanne... Now the way this works is I give you a letter, and you have to start a sentence with that letter. Then you have to start every sentence afterwards with the next letter of the alphabet, until you've gone through the entire alphabet. Oo
X-LAWS: ((nodding understandingly((
Des: The scene is... Marco, Meene and Lyserg are Charlie's Angels, and Jeanne, Charlie, is sending them on a super-secret mission! The letter you're starting with is W. Oo Take it away!
Marco, Meene, Lyserg: ((strike the Charlie's Angels pose((
Meene: Wow, it's been a long time since we've gone on a mission!
Marco: Xerox this, would you? ((pretends to hand Meene a file((
Meene: Yes!
Lyserg: Zounds, it's a phonecall! ((pretends to push the button on a speakerphone((
Jeanne: ((walks onstage(( Angels, you must go on a mission!
Meene: Boy oh boy! ((jumps up and down((
Lyserg: Charlie! ((points meaningfully((
Meene: Duh. ((shakes her head((
Jeanne: Evil is afoot!
Marco: Frankly we all had assumed that.
Jeanne: Good!
Marco: How many weapons do we get?
Lyserg: I don't know.
Meene: Just wait for Charlie to tell us. ((waves a finger at Marco((
Marco: ... 'Kay.
Jeanne: Let's just say it's a lot.
Lyserg: Marvelous!
Meene: Now what's the mission?
Marco: Oh I can't wait.
Lyserg: Pedophile.
Marco: Quit it!
Jeanne: Raid the enemy headquarters!
Marco: Sabotaging things?
Jeanne: Terrorize the whole facility!
Meene: Understood!
Marco: ...((pretends to get into the spy car(( Vrooom! Oo;;;
Lyserg: Whee! Oo;;;
Des: ((pushes the buzzer(( Wow, surprisingly well-done! Thousand points to you all. oO
Lyserg: WE'VE GOT 4,000 POINTS! XOOO Take THAT, Hao!
Des: The points don't matter.
Marco: ((points his gun at Des again(( Make them matter!
Des: Okay, they matter. ..
Lyserg: HA! WE'VE GOT 4,000 POINTS!
Macchi: We are not threatened! ((posestrike((
Des: The next game is called Superheroes, for Mari, Macchi, Kanna and Hao! Everyone is given a strange superhero identity and they have to try to save the day. Now what should be Hao's weird superhero name?
Silva: Spontaneously Combusting Boy!
Sharona: Too-sexy-for-his-own-good Man! Captain Spiffypants!
Horohoro: ((pouring more salt over the trapdoor(( Princess Salsa!
Ren: Princess Salsa?
Horohoro: ((snicker((
Tamao: Magical Hoshi-chan! -
Yoh: ((making little hand symbols over the trapdoor(( Honeybee boy!
Des: Honeybee Boy, okay that's good. And what should be the crisis for Honeybee Boy to solve?
Sharona: Moths gaining popularity!
Lyserg: Bug zappers!
Milly: No more flowers!
Ryu's skeleton: MILLY-CHAAAN! ((glomp((
Milly: Eeek! OO
Faust: ((whistles innocently((
Des: Okay, so it's Honeybee Boy and the world's crisis is No more flowers. oO Take it away!
Hao: ((on stage, twiddling his fingers as though they were wings; making buzzy noises; does not care!(( It seems there are no more flowers. Pathetic, sad humans have destroyed them all. I, Mirai ou Honeybee Boy, will have to destroy them to recreate this world... ((sparkle sparkle((
Macchi: ((skips onstage(( Where the hell did the flowers go?
Hao: Ah, so you've made it, Writhing in Agony kid!
Macchi: AAAAGH! My spine! ((wiggles around((
Hao: I'd send you a "Get well soon" bouqet, but alas.
Macchi: ((dropped on the floor, leg twitching and arms flailing(( It's really okay! OH THE PAIN! My esophagus!
Kanna: ((walks on(( -.- I'm here already.
Macchi: GAAAH OH GOD! Thank mog you're here... Blatantly Mary Sue Fancharacter Girl! Oo;; I think my kidneys are falling out!
Kanna: ((walks up to Faust(( I've finally found you, daddy! It's me! Your daughter!
Faust: ((snicker((
Kanna: ((looks around(( Hold on a sec. ((jogs over to Yoh(( Hi! I'm perfect! Also, we have fallen in love, regardless of your fiancee! ((pulls him to the stage and kisses him((
Yoh: ((blink((
Manta: Aaack! Kanna, no! OO
Horohoro: Sweet holy mother of food! OO
((The trapdoor surges with hate! Manta is launched into the air((
Manta: AAAAAAH!
Ren: -.- Baka.
Horohoro: We're out of salt! We're out of salt!
Ren: Nani? Use bicarb!
Manta: ((crashes onto the stage((
Hao: -.o ?
Mari: ((walks on at that moment((
Kanna: ((breaks liplock with Yoh(( You're just in time, Baby-Catapulter Woman!
Mari: Yes, it seems one of them got loose. ((picks up Manta and throws him at Macchi((
Macchi: AAAAAAAAGH! MY STOMACH! ((writhe((
Manta: ((spazzing(( OO
Mari: ((has Chuck fly in a circle around Kanna((
Kanna: Hao-sama loves me too! ((runs over to him((
Hao: You stay away from my pollen sacks, woman.
Mari: Yes. Honeybee-sama's pollen sacks. ((picks Manta up again and throws him at Kanna(( My work here is done! ((collects Chuck and leaves the stage((
Kanna: Hey! Come back here! ((runs after Mari((
Macchi: The blood! ((twitchseizure(( It's coming out of every orifice!
Hao: Quick, go outside and distract the enemy.
Macchi: Aye.. ((flop(( Aye, sir. ((walks out, flailing((
Des: ((buzz buzz(( XDDD 2000 points go to Baby Catapulter Woman, thousand points to the rest!
Mari: Mari is winning for the team.
Marco: Bias! Des is a Hanagumi fan! I demand an impartial judge!
Jeanne: Sinner! ((cages Des again((
Des: Stop doing that!
Macchi: ((picks Manta up by the head(( Use him. He hates both sides.
Jeanne: Very good, sinner. Manta shall be the host then. ((hands Manta the cards((
Des: What about me? ;;;
Meene: ... Who cares? Piñata! ((rattles the cage with a stick((
Manta: Um, do I have to? ;;;
Marco: ((gives Manta a deathglare((
Manta: ((gulp((
Horohoro: Shit, there goes one of our mages. --
Ren: Get back over here, Yoh!
Yoh: ...Izzat bicarb? O.o
Horohoro/Ren: Yes.
Trapdoor: ((Roars menacingly((
Yoh: Eek. ;;
Manta: o.o Okay, well, er, the next game for the X-LAWs is .. ((looks at card(( Show-stopping number... o.O;; For Lyserg, Marco, and Denbat. Now what you have to do in this game is act out a scene, and when I ring the buzzer... where's the buzzer? Oh, there it is. When I ring the buzzer, you have to break into a song using the sentence you just said. Hey, I get it! Like in a musical, right?
Des: ((dangles in cage, disgruntled(( Right.
Yoh: You should save her, Ren!
Ren: Why me!
Yoh: Because she likes you!
Ren: SO!
Manta: It says I need a suggestion from the audience for a strange place for people to work at. oO
Pirika: A taco shop!
Jun: A beauty parlor!
Mosuke: Feudal Japan!
Space Shot: A CARNIVAL!
Manta: Okay, I'll use Carnival... so it's a show-stopping number, you're working at a carnival, go ahead then. oo
Des: LET ME OUTTA HERE!
Lyserg: ((steps onstage(( What're you doing?
Marco: I'm running one of those evil games that are impossible to win that have gigantic teddy bears what mock you because you'll never win them ever. EVIL!
Lyserg: Well, I've run out of ride tickets to sell. Have you any tickets?
Manta: Oo ((buzz((
Lyserg: oo ((bursts into song(( Have you! Aaaany tickets! For the riides! For the riides! ((spin(( Without tickets you cannot get on the riides! And you need! A whole lot!
Marco: No, I haven't got any tickets. You must be new. Ask some other ticketman. I run the games of evil. .
Manta: ((buzz((
Marco: ((dance(( I run the games of evil! You'll never ever ever ever win!
Des: AGH! Marco singing! You befoul the music world! Sacriliege! ((shakes the cage((
Marco: ((still singing(( I run the games of evil! Carnivals are lairs full of sin! And every last one of you is going to go to hell! ((does a boogie((
Macchi: ... My virgin eyes. XX;;;
Mari: Mari can't look. ((covering her eyes((
Denbat: ((walks onstage(( Cotton candy! Get your cotton candy!
Lyserg: I'll take some.
Denbat: You need tickets for cotton candy.
Lyserg: You need tickets for that too?
Marco: You need tickets for EVERYTHING.
Denbat: Even to see the freak show.
Manta: ((buzz((
Denbat: ((bursts into song(( Even to see the freak show! The bearded lady calls you there! If you wanna see a midget or a cat without hair! They will be there! They will be! THERE!
Manta: Oo;;: ((buzzbuzz(( I really don't know what to make of that.
Des: Negative 5,000 points to Marco! Marco must never sing! NEVER!
Marco: ((shoots Des, and the bullet ricochets off the cage((
Manta: ;; Okay, what Des said... but 5,000 points to Lyserg because he CAN sing.
Des: Damn straight!
Denbat: Hey! What about me?
Des: You don't get any points, because you're unimportant!
Denbat: ((sulks((
Marco: That means we gained! ...No points at all? WHERE IS THE JUSTICE? ((waves gun at Manta((
Manta: ;;
Des: Lemme out of the cage and we'll talk points, mister! -- ((is shot at some more(( Stop that! -.O
Ren: Oh hell. -- ((throws his Kwan Dao at the cage, it crashes to the ground and Des rolls out((
Manta: Yoh-kun, I don't wanna be a host! ((runs back to Yoh's group((
Des: Thanks Ren! D
Ren: ;;; Kisama.
Des: ((scrambles back to her host chair((
Marco: I DEMAND A RECOUNT! XO
Jeanne: Sit down, Marco.
Des: Really. a-hem The next game will be Film, Theatre, Literature and TV styles for Zen-Ryou!
Zen: Tou! ((boing((
Ryou: TOU! ((likewise boing((
Zen-Ryou: ((land on Des's desk and pose-strike((
Des: ((pose-struck in front of(( Err. Right! We need audience suggestions.
Sally: Godzilla!
The Skeleton of Ryu: Porno!
Karim: Western!
Lily: Star Wars!
Manta: ((back with the "mages"(( The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!
Lily: Eee! You read Hitchhiker's? ((geek-bonding!((
Tamao: ...Yu-Gi-Oh? 3
Silva: Nature Documentary!
Ponchi/Konchi: LOVE HINAAAAA!
The Niles: THE MUMMY! D ...Wait, we're dead! oo
Des: ((scribbling down suggestions(( ... WOULD YOU PEOPLE QUIT STRIKING POSES ON MY DESK I AM TRYING TO WRITE!
Ryou: ((was about to bust out the guitar(( Fiiiine -- ((hops off the desk((
Zen: ((hops after((
Des: Okay, I think that's enough suggestions for now. We'll start out normally with a scene, and the scene is... Ryou, you are waiting for your blind date Zen, and you did not know that he was not a woman, but a transvestite!
Ryou: ((cracks up and nudges Zen((
Zen: XPPP
Des: Start already. XP ((kicks them onto the stage((
Ryou: ((on stage, waits around((
Zen: ((approaches, acting girly(( Hiii, are you Bob?
Ryou: Yes. Yes I am.
Yoh: BOB!
Des: ...BOB is so cool. X3
Zen: Hiii Bob. My name's CARL, but everyone just calls me JESSICA! ((maniacal giggle((
Ryou: YOU'RE JESSICA? OO
Zen: DDD Yeah! Didn't Macchi tell you about me?
Ryou: O.o;;; I'm currently wondering what exactly Macchi is trying to tell me!
Macchi: offstage(( Damn right, you people are gaaaay! XD
Meene: ((scoff((
Des: ((rings the bell(( Star Wars! O.o
Zen: Well, she wanted to tell you to... JOIN THE DARK SIDE! FUFUFUFUFU!
Ryou: Never! People on the dark side have to wear SKIRTS!
Zen: Then. You. Shall. DIE. ((waves his microphone(( Shccttoooom!
Ryou: ((guitar(( Freeeeeeow!
Zen-Ryou: ((lightsaber battle((
Des: ((bell(( Love Hina!
Ryou: ((pokes Zen in the chest with his guitar((
Zen: HENTAAAAAAAAAI! ((kicks Ryou across the stage((
Ryou: I didn't mean it?
Zen: Bakaaaaa! ((chase((
Ryou: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Des: ((bell(( Yu-Gi-Oh!
Ryou: ((dramatic point(( We must settle this with a DUEL!
Zen: OKAY! But if you lose you have to go to the SHADOW REALM, realm, realm, realm, oooh!
Ryou: You shall be DEFEATED!
Zen: NEVER!
Ryou: You SHALL! I intend to bullshit my way throughout this entire game and thus WIN!
Zen: Cuuurse youuu Pharaooooh!
Des: ((bell(( ... The Mummy! VS Godzilla!
Ryou: ((looks at Des like WTF(( ...Blaaaaaah! ((mummy arms((
Zen: REEEEEEEEAHHHHH fwoosh! ((pantomimes spitting fire((
Ryou: ... ((falls over((
Zen: ((stomps on Ryou((
Des: ((bell(( Nature Documentary! Oo
Ryou: As you can see, the Japanese Enormous Lizard is very violent when hunting its prey...
Zen: Raaaaah! Violence!
Ryou: AND CAN TALK!
Des: ((ding ding ding(( Okay, that's all for that round! 500 points to you both, you're better musicians than actors.
Zen-Ryou: You really think so?
Des: Oi, I don't care what anyone says, Chimi Chimi Moryo kicked ass. --
Zen-Ryou: Eeee! ((HUG(( WE HAVE A FAN! AT LAST!
Des: ... Try not to suffocate the fan, guys. ;;;
Yoh: BOBLOVE is better!
Trapdoor: ((In a super evil voice(( RINGO URAMI NO UTA! XOOOO
Ren: YOH! GET BACK HERE AND SEAL EVIL, KISAMA!
Yoh: ...Bob Love? o-o
Ren: KISAMA!
Yoh: oo ((toddles back over(( Bob Love.
Horohoro: Don't provoke it! OO
Trapdoor: ((FWOOSH(( RINGOURAMINOUTA!
Yoh: Eeeeeee! ;; ((throws bicarb madly((
Ren: KISAMA YOU ARE WASTING THE BICARB!
Horohoro: .. At this rate we might have to move onto sweet n' low!
Ren: KISAMAAAAA!
Marco: ... Al Di La Da. X3
Everyone: ((pauses((
Trapdoor: ((fries Marco to a crisp((
Jeanne: Marco! Oo
Des: CAN WE MOVE ONTO THE NEXT GAME? PLEASE?
Lyserg: oo But... we NEED Marco!
Des: ..sigh -- It comes down to this.
Hao: Hmm?
Des: Hao! Jeanne! O
Jeanne: Yes, Des Dao-Shindou-Tini-Winchcombe um...er... your surname is too long for me to say your full name. ..
Des: The final game will be!
((A hush falls over the crowd((
Des: SCENE TO RAP! For Hao and Jeanne!
Everyone: ... ((cracks up((
Des: The scene will be -
Everyone: ((cracking up((
Des: Hao and Jeanne's -
Everyone: ((cracking up((
Des: FINAL BATTLE - shut UP, people!
Everyone: ((shuts up((
Des: With the gate of Babylon...To rap. Now. Go. --
Jeanne/Hao: ((mahou shoujo transformation into gangsta rap gear!((
DJ Chocolove: D ((busts out a beat, yo((
Jeanne: Yo! We're some holy mofos and we're exalted on high, gettin' ready to bust a cap in Hao 'cos he must die!
X-LAWS: He GOTS ta die, foo'! D
Hao: Well here I come and you can't kill me, 'cos all of y'all are so fuckin' ti-ny!
Jeanne: You damned sinner, we got our door, it's gonna suck you in and you will be no more!
Hao: Shamash looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy on crack! He gonna be the Spirit of Fire's snack!
Des: Oh... my ... god... this is so wrong. XDDDDDD
Faust: Why is Jeanne a better rapper than Hao? O-o;;
Des: Generation gap?
Faust: Must be.
Yoh: ...This has to stop. o.o;
Trapdoor: FWAAAAAAAAAAH! ((nukes the stage((
Des: MY SET! OO
Hao/Jeanne: ((roll out of the flames(( Oo;;;
Chocolove: MY HEAD IS ON FIRE!
Des: Errr... And, THAT'S the REAL end! D;;;;
Horohoro: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
((static((