Part 15
She was supposed to be sleeping. They had done the unpleasant work of stripping the bodies of Yaga-Shura and his men before returning to the pocket plane. Yaga Shura had been carrying some interesting items but that wasn't what was keeping Avress awake. It was the tingle of awareness that another door had opened in the pocket plane. Avress rubbed her eyes shifted into a more uncomfortable position, willing herself asleep. Unlike most elves, Avress could not achieve reverie. That was yet another sign of her sire's taint. Instead, like other races, she sufficed with simple sleep. It didn't bother her except for the times that sleep eluded her grasp with annoying stubbornness.
If the Solar's revelation was any indication, then what was behind that door would not be pleasant.
Avress' skin danced with apprehension at the thought of stripped naked before everyone again. It was foolish to think that way. What was this trial, to what those had already shared? Her companions had seen her at her weakest and her most beaten. They had also seen her when she strong and triumphant. Logic grappled with fear but the image of her mother's face banished any logic from her mind. As silently as she could manage, Avress slid from her bedroll. She strapped on her daggers and padded towards the archway. Her companions slumbered on oblivious to her waking.
The recklessness of her actions formed a cold ball of dread in her stomach but she didn't hesitate. Mechanically, she dipped into the bag of holding to produce three scrolls. The first scroll was of non-detection and the second would summon an efreeti. The final scroll would silence anything within a set area. For a moment she considered and then activated the first spell. Other than the light caress of magic, she felt nothing as the scroll turned to ash, its magic activated. The third scroll she triggered about the mouth of the arch. The magical silence would ensure her companions would sleep on undisturbed. Closing her eyes, Avress summoned her sorcery. Softly she spoke the words to form a spell trigger. The magic eagerly followed her commands and she opened her eyes once more. As prepared as she could be, Avress stepped through the archway.
Darkness parted like silk and four figures were arrayed before her. Avress found her eyes locked to the foremost figure. Yellow eyes barely held back an avalanche of hate and resentment. Arrayed in black scale armor and casually holding an elegant longsword the elf woman smirked at her with confidence. Avress mirrored the smirk, the expressions exactly the same down to the smallest detail. She was gazing upon herself. It was like a blow to the stomach.
"Look on me, Avress."
Her own voice teased her ears with sweet venom. Avress felt her skin prickle. There were so many similarities between them, she could see that clearly but most disturbing were the differences. The aura of cruelty and evil she'd once felt on Sarevok at the height of his power was now radiating from her other self. Madness glinted out from behind her own eyes. The taint that raged rampant and unfettered in her double sickened Avress. Her double was everything she had fought against. Shame and self-hatred rose to the forefront of her heart. Was fate truly inescapable? Could she not have persevered even without Gorion's steady influence?
"See yourself as you might have been, had Gorion taken Sarevok instead of you... had your path taken a different turn. Look on me and know that I despise you and resent the ease in which you lived. I would have given much for a home and a father such as Gorion. I shall not allow you to exist. Stop me... if you can."
Even as the words pooled from her twin's tongue, Avress wondered if they were really hers. Or were they scripted echoes of the Solar's words? Maybe it was the taint's hollow hatred given voice.
The sound of a sword being drawn pulled her attention towards the battle that was quickly beginning. Behind her double were people that Avress recognized all too easily. The slender and deadly female was Tamoko. She had been Sarevok's lover once. Angelo, who had gained control of the Flaming Fist, glowered from further away. She had seen him cut down with Sarevok during their final confrontation. A human male dressed the robes of mage was also present but she did not recall his name.
With lithe grace, her double lunged forward. Strangely, it was a move she recognized. Sarevok had used it against her more than once. Avress ducked and whirled away only to find Angelo moving to box her in. Tamoko had disappeared and Avress knew she would try striking from the shadows. The soft sound of chanting told Avress that the mage was beginning to cast. It had been a long time since she'd had to fight multiple opponents without the assistance of her friends. She felt exceedingly vulnerable. This, however, she had anticipated. With a feral snarl, Avress released the spell trigger. Immediately, two balls of lightning leapt into being and arched towards her enemies. Her opponents howled in pain and the stench of burnt flesh and hair wafted to her nose. She did so enjoy that spell, especially when it was doubled. The third and final spell from the trigger enveloped her in its protective grasp.
Invisible, Avress carefully moved away from her enemies. Distracted as they were, Avress still moved with exaggerated care. She did not have Imoen's skill at prowling. The oozing lava that dotted the room further complicated her passage. Having managed to cross the room, she planted her back to the wall. To her disappointment, her double's group quickly recovered from her spell and began to draw her companions together to systematically search for her.
"Where is the bitch!" her double growled.
"She must be invisible," the mage replied.
"Then reveal her."
Again the mage began to cast. Avress could tell from the tremor in his voice that he had not escaped the effects of the lightning. For a moment, Avress debated. Tucked within her mind was a spell sequencer. That would halt the mage but it would also reveal her position. She had intended on using the second scroll to summon aid. Focusing on the mage's chant she winced as she recognized the spell. The wretched mage was casting true seeing. That would pierce her invisibility, even with her spell of non-detection. Drawing on her sorcery, Avress released the sequencer. Two arrows of toxic green acid materialized followed by several of flame. The mage looked up just in time to see them hit. He went down screaming in agony. He wasn't quite dead but Avress somehow knew the acid would soon deal with that. Her triumph was short lived as her double charged her as soon as her spellcasting revealed her location.
Invisibility had obscured Avress once more but it wasn't enough. Her double had moved at far more than normal speed, not giving her time to dodge enough to completely avoid the blow. Avress screamed as her back was laid open. Falling backwards, Avress collided with Angelo. Desperation lent her strength and speed that she normally didn't have. Drawing her dagger, Avress plunged it between the plates of his armor. He jerked away with an oath making Avress lose her dagger. Uncaring of the lost weapon, Avress dashed away.
Blood seeped across her back, matting the back of her robes. Dimly, Avress realized that it was bleeding far too much. It had to be her double's sword. She'd known it was enchanted the moment she'd seen it. Having felt its effects, Avress guessed it was enchanted to enhance the victim's bleeding. With her enemies so close, however, Avress did not dare to take a potion. The loss of blood would weaken her but worst of all it would soon drip to the floor and reveal her location. Drawing out her final scroll she spoke the words inscribed upon it. Reality bent and a towering efreeti appeared before her.
"Kill them," Avress spoke pointing towards the enemies who had again been alerted to her location.
Angelo immediately met the creature's attack. Tamoko soon joined him but to Avress' dismay, her double didn't follow. Once more her invisibility shielded her from view but Avress could see the splotches of blood that spattered against the floor. Coldly chuckling, her double once again slashed at her. Somehow Avress avoided the first attack but the second lay open her upper arm.
As quickly as she could, Avress put some space between herself and her double. With the magical speed enhancements her double sported, Avress couldn't outrun her but she was able to gain a momentary reprieve. Drawing her wand with her good arm, Avress channeled its power. She watched with satisfaction as her double walked right into the wand's icy grip. Not pausing to reflect, Avress summoned stoneskins to protect her. Once she finished her spell, Avress concentrated once more on her opponent. Frozen patches of skin cracked and sluggishly bled on her double's face. Those wounds only hinted at the damage that her double's armor hid but she barely paused in her advanced.
Staggering back in an attempt to match her double's pace, Avress' dizziness birthed colorful sparks across her vision. If she didn't act soon, then she would pass out from blood loss. Unconscious she would be easy prey. Defiance surged and sorcery blazed from within as Avress began to shape it. Her double's sword sparked and clanged against Avress' stoneskin. The blow did not injure Avress, but it forced her down to her knees. Through sheer will, she kept her concentration. Again another blow fell and Avress shouted as her spell was released.
The sphere released the feted gas and her double wailed in pain. Even Avress could feel the sudden drop of moisture in the air. Not daring to delay, Avress punched her dagger through the ribs of her double. With a purposeful twist, blood gushed hotly over her hand. The wail became a gurgle and her double slumped down onto her. With lungs that seemed robbed of breath, Avress panted harshly. She almost expected her double to rise again. Then her double faded away as if she'd never been there in the first place. Immediately, Avress crawled to her feet expecting another attack. To her surprise the room was empty. Neither the efreeti or her double's companions remained. She wasn't sure if the efreeti had dealt with them or if her spell had done it.
As she watched, the room shimmered and then was transformed. The scent of plants and cool water saturated the air. A whimper of relief worked from her throat. Tottering forward, Avress tripped and fell into one of the pools of water. Immersed in the pool Avress stiffened waiting for her wounds to sting. Instead the fiery pain lessened. Dumbly, she realized that the water had healed her somewhat. With the lightheadedness reduced, she quickly brought a potion to her lips. It was quickly followed by a second.
The wounds dwindled until they were no longer life threatening. Still immersed in the pond, Avress couldn't seem to summon the will to move. The absence of pain seemed to leave an aching numbness. Tiredly, she began to sob. She had no idea what she wept for. Maybe it was for her other self, or Imoen or even Sarevok.
Eventually her tears dwindled. Her determination once more asserted itself and Avress hauled herself out of the pond. She had been foolish to walk into a battle she knew nothing of but she was glad she had done so. Her companions did not need to see how far she could have fallen. Already they had their doubts. Avress didn't think she could endure their concerned looks and hidden fears. Shaking her head, she pushed her hurts aside.
Water pooled at her feet stained with blood. The water, if that was what it really was, seemed to evaporate before her eyes leaving her only somewhat damp. Avress swore lightly as she looked over her robes. Tattered and stained, they were ruined. Adventuring always did take its toll on her wardrobe but this was worse than usual. Less than gracefully she wrung out most the lingering moisture. Moving forward, she left the room not particularly caring of her surroundings. On her way out she ended the silencing spell on the archway.
"Was entering battle alone such a wise decision, sister?"
"No... it wasn't," Avress admitted slowly, not foolish enough to contradict the evidence painted in crimson on her body. "When did you notice me gone?"
"I woke when you did. When you entered the newly opened room I almost followed but I assumed you didn't want interference from either myself or your pack of dogs," Sarevok rumbled.
"I did not want them involved but that does not mean I will listen to your insults," Avress replied with an edge to her tone.
Their eyes clashed for a moment before Sarevok tore his gaze away and nodded. He still didn't like to admit he was wrong, Avress thought. Nor was his pride easily subdued. Avress studied Sarevok for a moment longer before dropping her gaze. Would he tell the others? Avress' thoughts chased their own tails with little result. She brought her hand up to rub at her eyes but winced as doing so pulled on her wounds. Sarevok caught her wince and frowned.
"You are not healed."
"I can't heal myself further without healing over the cloth of my robes," Avress replied.
"Then I shall help you."
She was surprised by his offer, although it came out more an order than a suggestion. Uncomfortably, Avress was reminded of their less than peaceful history. Could she allow herself to expose such vulnerability to this once-enemy? Memories of the aftermath of Imoen's attack flickered through her mind's eye. Was that why he had offered? Because she had helped Viconia to heal him? It was more likely that he wished to question her. Did it even matter? She was too tired to blindly wander the maze of Sarevok's possible motivations. Brushing aside her thoughts Avress murmured her agreement. Dressing her own wounds would be difficult given their location. Silently, she followed Sarevok into the room where she had past the trial of retribution.
Using several cantrips, Avress summoned a basin of water and pulled clean rags from her bag of holding. Using her dagger, she sliced down the sleeves of her clothing to expose the slash down her shoulder and arm. She didn't even attempt to pull the cloth from where it was stuck. In silence, Sarevok began to soak the already damp robes. His motions were efficient and born of personal experience with battle wounds. The scabbed over gash was unwilling to surrender its grip but slowly the cloth was freed from her flesh. Avress knew that her back would be another matter. That wound would have to be reopened.
"What was it that you fought and so feared to reveal to your friends?" Sarevok spoke into the tense silence.
"Do you really believe that I would tell you when I can't bare to speak of it to my friends?" Avress retorted with dull frustration.
"Avress, I am not one of your cherished friends who you think must be coddled from the truth," Sarevok replied and tightened his grip on her forearm to emphasizing his point. "You do not fear my judgement like you do that of your companions."
The taint vibrated in concert with her sudden flare of anger but he was right. She was not sure what to consider Sarevok. He wasn't her friend. She did not know what he was to her but Avress did know she could no longer label him an enemy. Surprisingly, that didn't bother her as much as it might have. Aside from that, did she really want to reveal what she had seen? Avress frowned. What she'd seen was something infinitely personal and yet, it a way, it was something that Sarevok was already well aquatinted with. Her double had, after all, experienced life as he had.
"I have always known that my greatest opponent has always been myself," Avress began. "I have always prided myself in the freedom to make own choices and yet more and more I see fate's hand in my path. In that room I saw myself as I would have been if I'd lived your life."
Sarevok's large hands paused in their work.
"Is free will a charade, Sarevok?" Avress asked softly.
"You ask me? What am I but the persistence of will? I have mocked my fate by living when I should be dead. Perhaps fate has taken us in her grasp but we have choices."
"Like you had choices? Gorion took me that day and left you to the Iron Throne. Could you have chosen differently?"
"I made my choice that very day," Sarevok replied with a cruel grin. "Gorion would not have taken me in after I killed one of his precious fellow Harpers. That is why I still hate your foster father, Avress. He was a hypocrite. He killed many children that day but turned his back on me for defending myself. Now turn around."
Avress blinked and then remembered the wound on her back. Turning around she fumed as she realized Sarevok had effectively cut off her heated reply. This time Sarevok took her dagger and cut the robes away from where they had stuck to her back. As he did so, Avress warred with herself. Visions of Gorion's wise words and his love for her mixed with the ghostly image of Sarevok as a boy. What Gorion had been to her was far different to what he had been to Sarevok. Could she reconcile the two? Even as she wondered, Avress realized she already had. Jaheira had been right.
"You're wrong, Sarevok. Gorion was no hypocrite. He did what he could."
"I remember you from the nurseries, Avress. All the priestesses fussed over you and said what a perfect sacrifice you would be; a tiny little elfling that would smile and coo at whoever looked upon you. Tell me Gorion would have chosen a boy that scowled more than smiled," Sarevok spat with bitterness.
"I can't. I do not know why Gorion chose as he did! In the past I have made those kinds of choices. Choosing one life for another isn't easy. I won't apologize for decisions Gorion made. My life hasn't been free of pain either."
"Is that so? Have you really felt the full depths of Bhaal's legacy? No, those lily-white hands of yours would never deign to cover themselves in cold blood. No, you are Bhaal's virtuous daughter," Sarevok sneered.
This time Avress did not repress her anger. She felt it crystallize within her and she turned to glare at the large man. Whatever naivete and idealistic spirit that might have existed within her was long gone. Instead she'd been tampered by experience. No matter how painful she'd rather wisdom than the bliss of ignorance. In her life she had done both good and evil. Everyday she made decisions that chose between the two extremes. How could he be so blind?
"Is that what you really think of me, Sarevok? Am I really some kind of deva in your eyes? I have murdered in cold blood. I've murdered for the joy of it and I have murdered because it was expedient. I have lost count of all I have killed," Avress spoke coldly.
"Then you do want our Father's power," Sarevok gloated.
"I do desire power but it is not for its own sake. I want power to protect myself and those I love. I want to be strong enough to choose to live my life the way I wish."
"You would settle for so little?" Sarevok said with a mixture of surprise and disgust.
"For so little it is surprisingly difficult to achieve," Avress snarled acidly. "I do not know what I would do with my life if given the chance but I want to be able to find out."
Not knowing why she had bothered to explain, Avress yanked the patch of cloth from her back. The flesh tore and scabs broke open but she ignored the burning pain. Banishing the water and bowl, she stalked from the room. Kneeling by her sleeping roll, she swallowed down another healing potion. Ignoring Sarevok who had returned to his own bedroll, Avress slid on the soft cotton nightshift she usually wore at inns. Still angry, she wrapped her blankets around her body and drifted to sleep.
He couldn't quite mask his surprise as Avress tore the cloth from her wounds and left the room. Rage quickly followed his confusion. Sarevok had been burning to confront her over what the Solar had revealed. It humiliated him to see the pains and weaknesses of his past self so ruthlessly revealed. When she had entered the other room, Sarevok knew that she would be vulnerable. He wasn't quite sure how he'd known that but he had been right.
Somehow things had not turned out as he'd intended them to. He had wanted to shake her faith in the old man and to torment her with the truth of her nature, despite her virtuous ways. Instead he began doubting and his image of her was shattered. He'd heard the rumors of her deeds. They had always seemed so sickeningly wholesome. His mistake still rankled. Yet, even when she admitted to being a true Child, she denied a desire for her sire's godhood. Now Sarevok was beginning to wonder what else lay beneath her surface.
Leaving the room he returned to where he slept. Avress was preparing for sleep with little care for modesty. Unwillingly, his eyes followed the graceful line of her back. Any indication of her wounds had faded. Pale skin almost glowed in the strange light of the pocket plane. Wrath leapt up as he realized what he was doing. Sarevok averted his eyes and clenched his fists. She had tied his mind into knots.
How did she entice him so easily? Why did his thoughts always return to her? Even when he'd still had his taint, he had been drawn to her. She had been different from the other Children of Bhaal he'd slain. How could he expect to escape her draw now he no longer had his divine essence? Indeed, Sarevok found himself slowly going mad. That was the only answer he could conceive of explain what was happening. Now his slowly growing obsession was now taking a new and unwanted turn. Sarevok sneered. That he would not allow. She already tormented him far too much. Repeating his resolve to himself, Sarevok waited for sleep that wouldn't come.