This was not right, not how it was supposed to be…those eyes were not supposed to look at him like that, half-lidded but curiously intent…that face was not supposed to look that eager…
Roy felt carefully trimmed nails biting into his palms through his gloves. The muscles in his forearms quivered with the need to stay where he was, carefully behind the protection of his desk as well as the need to go, to trace the line of sculpted cheekbones with the reverence, the desire he desperately wanted to express…There was a different sort of burning in his stomach now, anticipation joining with indigestion in its acidic roiling.
And the carefully interested expression on Ed's face was not helping. Or the fact that he licked his lips nervously every now and then, leaving them moist and tempting…
Damn.
Roy didn't remember standing, didn't remember moving towards Ed, though he noticed when nervous irritability turned to anticipation in those wide gold eyes, noticed when those same eyes slid shut, a soft breath sighed out from those enticingly moist lips as he drew one finger down the side of Ed's face…
And jerked back as reality chose a most opportune moment to intrude in the form of a polite knock on his office door.
Roy was embarrassed to note he felt guilty as a teen caught with his hands in his pants as he stumbled his way back to stand safely behind his desk, ignored the most irate glare Ed was shooting his way, cleared his throat, and suggested whomever was knocking enter.
Havoc poked his head in, analyzed the situation as safe, and entered completely and irreverently as ever, tossing a lazy wave in Roy's direction, the closest he got to a salute in the office. "Mustang, got some questions for you…oh, hey boss." He snapped a grin Ed's way, making nothing of the smoldering wrath that seemed to emanate from the blond. He couldn't be blamed, honestly, as Ed tended to spend a good portion of his time in Roy's office in one state of anger or another.
What he wasn't ready for was the fact Ed shot one last spite-filled, blushing glare at Roy, then turned and left.
Without a word.
As soon as the door was safely slammed shut Havoc pulled a cig free, lit, and leaned against the nearest piece of furniture, a rather uncomfortable looking chair. "So...you wanna explain that one to me?"
"Hawkeye will shoot you for smoking in the office." Roy admonished, settling back down into his chair, an odd look on his face. He could still feel the warmth of Ed's flushing cheeks on his fingertips…
Havoc watched, bemused, as Roy silently rubbed the forefinger and thumb of his right hand together in an oddly gentle motion. "Nice try. I can wait."
For some reason the amusement in Havoc's voice angered him. Roy launched a withering glower at his friend and subordinate. "I am not in the mood, Second Lieutenant. Did you have actual business or did you just feel the need to involve yourself in my personal business?"
"Nothing meant by it. Just messing around." Havoc held his hands out in entreaty, hoping to stem the burst of temper he could see rising in Roy's narrowed eyes. "About the information I received today…"
Roy had never been so happy to see the back of Havoc vanish out his door. Pinching the bridge of his nose against the headache that was threatening to attack at any second, he turned his head towards the issues he found more pressing than any military operation.
Damn, now Edward was affecting his performance at work, his chance at advancement. This was becoming more serious a problem than he had originally anticipated. Unacceptable.
Unavoidable.
Too much conflict, too many sensations battering their way through his mind, all demanding his immediate attention… It was odd, how fast he had moved from debilitating guilt to mere consternation.
He didn't want to…couldn't accept the thought that he accepted the fact the Ed genuinely desired him, enjoyed him. It was…inappropriate. It was….
Exhilarating.
He had seen how much barely touching Ed had affected the younger man, how merely brushing a finger along the curve of a cheek had elicited a shuddering breath, how Ed had leaned into the caress, eyes starting to slide shut. To have so much power…to be able to affect such a standoffish, excitable individual…
Intoxicating.
…touchtastesmell…
Unforgivably inappropriate.
Roy's head sank down to rest in the cradling comfort of his hands as he lost his impromptu battle with the headache. The campaign against his morals was proving to be more taxing than anticipated.
Damn Edward for not being repulsed. Damn him for all the desperate kisses, the clutching fingers…
Roy groaned, head pounding along with his unsteady heartbeat. He decided to damn himself in there as well, for wanting to experience it again…
It wasn't fair, really, the way Edward was handling this. Roy had expected the blond to rant, to rave, to howl his displeasure at anyone who was unfortunate enough to be close enough to be considered an audience. He had expected hatred, he had expected to be shunned or spat at even.
What he was not expecting was his favorite brand of coffee to be waiting for him on his desk. A rather hard to find coffee, roasted and flavored just so…He had stumbled upon it utterly by accident on one campaign or another, and the addicting had been instantaneous.
Never mind the fact he hadn't been able to touch the stuff for about three weeks, a point which he stubbornly refused to blame on the fact Ed had tried so ineptly to brew it in the wee hours of a rather disastrous morning. This rather unexpected bag of fine beans could be blamed on Edward though, as it sat, rather smugly even, atop Edward's written report.
So. The alchemist was back. Roy decided to ignore the little lurch his stomach indulged in at that point, as well as the skittery sort of heartbeat he experienced for as he sat down and slid the report out from under the coffee. Damn, there was even a tacky little bow on the bag. He could almost see that damn kids self satisfied smirk. Roy also politely ignored the answering smile that twitched to feral life on his own face.
He had sent the alchemist on an assignment after all, he had sent him away. He shouldn't be so damn….ecstatic to have tangible evidence that Edward was back. It made no coherent sense. Never mind that the plans running through his head involving some rather expensive brandy and a quiet dinner for two also failed to make any sort of sense.
But there it was.
Roy was rather annoyed to note that his hands shook just a bit as he read through the correct to a fault and unnervingly polite and sincere report. Anticipation. What a deadly drug. He wondered if Ed had gotten any more sun, if it had lightened his hair just a bit, if it had darkened his skin. He wondered what the alchemist would smell like, whether he would have gathered scents from his travel.
He wondered when the hell the safely distant "Fullmetal" had turned into "Edward" or "Ed", even in the convoluted morass of his inner monologue. It was…inconvenient.
As was the tantalizing scent of coffee that was oozing its way up from the bag in front of him.
His stomach gurgled a bit, making the association between self-loathing and coffee that he had grown accustomed to. But…there was something unobtrusive about the gift, something knowledgeable…
"You…genius." Roy finally barked out in a laugh. As with everything, the coffee was a brilliant tactic on Ed's part. Of course he would have found out that his colonel was avoiding his beloved beverage. All Ed had to do was talk to anyone. Information gathering was one of Ed's stronger points, when he had the patience to actually carry through on it.
"Trying to make me pay attention, hm?" Roy rested his chin in cupped palms, grinning appreciatively. "Figured I am easier to manipulate from a distance?"
"Not really, sir."
Roy jumped, his left knee slamming into the bottom of his desk with enough force to jerk the piece of furniture upwards a bit. Frantically looking about, Roy belatedly noticed the form reclining on the small couch off to the side of the office. Edward stretched lazily, yawning, before hauling himself upright.
"You are so damn single-minded when you come into the office first thing in the morning. Only problem is you come in so early. You wouldn't believe how early I had to have Al wake me…"
Roy was reduced to rather ineloquent blinking as his brain attempted to catch up with his nerves.
"And after I got back so late too. Some people are inconsiderate as all hell."
"No one told you to be here at the crack of dawn." Roy snapped, finally finding some sort of mental footing in being affronted.
"Some people never would have thought to tell me to be here at the crack of dawn." Ed arranged himself into a comfortable lounge, arms across the back of the couch, and frowned. "Wanted to stop by and say hello. That's all."
"You didn't have to sneak into my office for something as inane as that. You could have, like any sane individual, waited until you were rested and come into the office at a normal hour." Roy was trying, very hard, not to lose his already tempted temper. He wanted to grab Ed by the collar of his shirt, shake him around and demand to know what the hell he was thinking.
"I was gone a week. Didn't you miss me at all?"
"Miss your asinine, irrational temper and incomprehensible demands? Not at all."
"Now colonel, that isn't very fair."
Roy really, really didn't like the look on Ed's face, didn't like the fact he wasn't rising to the bait. It was a deviance from the norm, and it was starting to make Roy nervous. It was the smug look of someone who was convinced they had already won.
"You looked so happy when you got in and saw my present for you this morning."
So that was it. The little bastard had planned it that way, played him. Roy felt himself deflate, slump back into his chair, somewhat at a loss. "I don't drink coffee anymore."
"Why aren't you drinking coffee?" Ed leaned forward, intent.
There was almost an entire office between them, but to Roy it wasn't near enough space. "It turns my stomach."
"It never used to."
"It does now, understood?" Roy heard the catch in his voice, and despised it. He hated feeling so unsure, so in the wrong when he was around Edward. "When did you become so interested in my personal well-being?"
"You matter." Ed shrugged, as if it was the easiest answer in the world.
"I don't understand you."
"You don't try. You constantly go at it from what you think is right, is best. How the hell can you expect to understand?" Ed stood and started to pace a tiny circuit around the front of the couch, as was his habit when irritated. "You don't want the coffee because it reminds you of that morning. Am I correct?"
"Everything isn't about you…" Roy started, more than willing to launch into an argument, anything to distract the oddly purposeful intent that seemed to be radiating from the pacing alchemist.
"You didn't have any that morning. Hawkeye was worried that you were ill or something. Havoc learned how to brew the stuff, so you obviously haven't had any in awhile." Ed stared off, as if reading mental notes, as he spoke. "You send me on missions more fit for Farman or some other intelligence oriented officer. You give up your favorite drink merely because it reminds you of me in some way. Am I that distasteful to be around?"
"The problem is I don't find you distasteful at all." Roy couldn't…couldn't try and retain his anger, not in the face of such quiet interrogation.
"We have had almost every possible permutation of this argument, Mustang." Ed punched the back of the couch. "What the hell do you want from me?"
"I am your commanding officer, Fullmetal."
"Shit, Roy, back down for a minute. I hauled my ass into this office at least an hour before anyone else will be showing up. I brought you back a gift. I didn't do this for a damn commanding officer."
Roy pointed at his uniform, at the insignia marking his rank. "Unfortunately, Fullmetal, your commanding officer is who sits in this office."
"We are going to dinner then."
It so perfectly mirrored what Roy had wanted a mere handful of minutes ago…He stared at Ed, jaw slack. "What?"
"If I can't talk to you as anything other than a subordinate officer in the office, we are going to talk outside the office. So we are going to dinner." He looked so proud of the decision, toothy smile on his face. "I will wait for you out front. Hmm…I will ask Hawkeye when you are allowed to leave…"
"You will do no such thing!"
"Try and stop me, bastard colonel." A quick grin, and a stomping retreat colored in swirling red, and Ed was gone, the door slammed merrily behind him.
As soon as he recovered a bit from being well and truly overwhelmed, Roy couldn't help but smile. That was the Ed he knew, impetuous and overconfident.
And biting off much more than he could handle.