'They're back!'
'I know! Why do you think I'm here?'
'You know? Why didn't you tell me? I needn't have taken this if I'd known!'
'But they're not gonna take the news that the journal is missing well are they?'
'She dropped it! What was I supposed to do? Just give it back? I thought it would help! The others are on their way, I had to get the information! How was I supposed to know that it was them and not the others! You never told me about the connection!'
'When am I supposed to have had the time? I've only been back for a few weeks! I didn't even realise you were here until a couple of days ago when you contacted me! I haven't exactly had the easiest time! Those guys aren't exactly the best of friends at the moment! It's like something from a soap opera.'
'Yeah well a soap opera doesn't include us lot!!'
'Look, we have to act now, we can't put it off any more, they're gonna leave, we have to stop them! it's imperative!'
'What do you propose we do?'
'You have to tell them who you are.'
'I what?'
***
Maria stood in Michael's arms, 'Please don't leave me now Michael Guerin.'
'I promise you Maria, I'm not going any where.'
'None of us are,' said Max from the other side of the room, 'it's time we stood up and faced our fears.'
'Your fears Max,' said Liz. 'The rest of us are just trying to get our lives back.'
Maria plunged her head back into Michael's shoulder trying to shut the world out. Why did everything have to be so different? Why was it so hard to remember that time when they were all so happy?
'Liz we have to talk., now,' said Max.
Liz swallowed, well here it went, she'd promised. She walked into her room and shut the door behind Max as he walked in. 'What do you want to know?' she asked coldly.
Out in the sitting room the four friends eyed each other worriedly, could this be a good thing?
'I want to try and explain some things to. to try and make you understand.' said Max. Liz stared at him unmoved.
'Okay,' she said, she had promised him this much, she could listen.
'When I saw you in that bed with Kyle. I-I lost it. I couldn't bare the thought of life without you, I went out to the park to think and just as I decided what I would do Tess came up to me, she came to me when I was weakest and took advantage of it. We got closer through the memory retrieval and she began to mind warp me.'
Liz felt the anger begin to well up in her, was he just trying to excuse away his guilt? As if he was again just righteous little Max? Saint Max!
'I went to the observatory that night to work out how to get you back, she was there, we looked at the stars for a while and then something happened. I don't know what, she just well, she just. I don't really remember, all I remember is waking up beside her and feeling how wrong it was, not quite understanding what had happened.'
'Oh come on Max!' Liz blew up. 'It takes two to tango! Tess would have had a bit of trouble doing all that by herself, you needed to be a willing participant. You can't just blame everything on the mind warp and expect me to accept it!'
Max swallowed, but didn't back down. 'I'm not saying that Liz, I was wrong, I shouldn't have done it. I regret it more than you could ever believe-'
'Regret? What the hell do you know about regret?' interrupted Liz. 'Have you ever woken up regretting every single second of your past? Well I have! I regret the fact that I was just a few seconds too late to stop you from leaving, I regret the fact that I ever listened to future Max, I regret that even for a little bit I thought destiny would leave us alone, even for a little while, and I regret every second I've lost of my life and every second I've lost with the people I love, for myself! Regrets hurt Max, they're something I live with every second of the day!'
'And you think I don't know that?' Max flared up, loosing control, he let his heart take over, just letting throw out everything he'd been feeling. 'You're not the only one who's hurting Liz! Wake up and smell the roses! Let your eyes see the people around you! Maria and Kyle have lost their lives too, Isabel and Michael lost everything they had! I know how much pain I've caused! I have to live with that, I'll always have to live with it but that doesn't mean I'm going to tear myself down to a level where my friends pity me and I can't live my life. I know I've done wrong! I've done more wrong than most people will ever do but dwelling on that isn't going to help me to do right in the future! If you'd stop being so self centred Liz then you'd see how many people love you and how many people you're hurting! I'm not the one that matters here Liz, neither are you! It's the people who've been hurt because of us! It's time we started doing things right, but you'll never be able to do that until you let go, until you acknowledge that you have a right to move on!'
Max walked swiftly from the room leaving a shell-shocked Liz standing behind him.
Liz stood still for a long time until she realised that she was shaking, sitting down on the bed she fought to regain her self control. As her mind regained its balance anger began to sweep over her. How dare Max lecture her? What right did he have to come in here and preach at her? Him of all people! Nothing she had done was as bad as what he had done!
'Give it up Liz!'
Liz started at the sound of a voice, she swung round, 'Alex.' she whispered.
***
Liz stared in fear at the apparition in front of her. It was Alex. well almost Alex. His face looked strained and his eyes had lost the light they had always held.
'A-Alex.'
'Liz!' He grinned as he flung himself into her arms. 'It's been too long!'
Liz pulled herself away in fear, 'What are you?'
'I'm me Liz, there's no other way to explain it!' replied Alex. His heart sank as he saw the fear in her eyes, she really had changed. 'What are you doing to yourself?'
'I'm rebuilding my life,' replied Liz firmly. but for the first time a small doubt appeared at the back of her mind and she couldn't block it out.
'Are you?' asked Alex. 'Are you really? Cos from where I am it certainly doesn't look like it!'
'And where are you Alex?' asked Liz, her voice growing cold. 'You're dead! And all because of Max and Tess, and now everyone else is suffering too!'
'Oh give it up Liz!' replied Alex, exasperatedly. 'We all did this to ourselves! By running, by hiding, by not being ourselves! Michael and Maria hiding from their love, you pretending you didn't love Max, Max pretending to love Tess, Isabel hiding behind her ice queen mask and Kyle just trying to be the dumb jock he was because he knew. And me, trying to crawl out of the situation, trying to get away from where I belonged! Don't you see that you're still hiding! You're not rebuilding your life Liz, you're destroying it!'
'Destroying it?' Liz flared up. 'What, by trying to be normal? By trying to show Tess how wrong she was? By trying to get away from Max?'
'Come on Liz! You know that's not what you're doing! You know and I know, deep down in your heart all you want to do is to cause pain to the people who've hurt you most, Max and Tess. You want revenge, nothing more, nothing less, only it's ripping you apart. Where did your morals go Lizzie? Where did the girl who cared for everyone go? The girl who would spend her last bit of money on an ice cream for a kid who'd dropped theirs! You've lost yourself Liz, and if you wait much longer you'll never be able to find yourself.'
Liz stared at Alex in amazement as the words flew from his mouth and stung her soul. wasn't he the one she had been trying to avenge all these years? Her selfless acts and he was just yelling at her? Everything she had done for him and he was turning on her in favour of Max. 'Why are you here?' she asked coldly.
'I'm here to try and help you remember Liz, I'm here to put things right.'
'Yeah, well unless you can rise from the dead then I don't think that's gonna happen!' replied Liz as she turned away.
'Liz, I wasn't meant to be one of the gang, not forever, if you'd let go then you'd see how much stronger you all are now. Everyone's stepping out from behind the tree, they're all letting go of the past and looking to the future. Have Maria and Michael been arguing as much? No, because Michael knows who he is now and he knows that he belongs with Maria. Kyle came back, sure he ran at first but he's back now to help, and Isabel hasn't been the Ice Queen, she's been herself, perhaps for the first time ever. And Max has begun to heal, think of what he lost Liz, he lost you, he lost his son, he lost his family, he lost everything that mattered to him but he's trying to make things right now. Just like you should.'
'What Max lost? What about what I lost, huh Alex?'
'When you said that did you even think about what I lost Liz?' Liz stopped abruptly, what Alex had lost, well. 'No! You didn't! Can't you see you have to let go! It's not about what we lost is it, it was at first but now it's an obsession! I sat and watched my own funeral! I heard my parents crying at night, don't ask me how, but I did. And I hope you will never know how painful that is but I've let go, what Tess did was wrong and I agree she has to be stopped but you're not a killer Liz. You never were, and I never thought you could be, but you've been trying very hard to prove me wrong.'
Liz turned back to Alex, tears in her eyes. ' Look Liz, I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here to help you, to help you find yourself again. Just like the others. They've all discovered themselves so why are you holding onto the past! The past isn't what matters Liz, surely you understand that!'
Liz nodded silently and sat down next to Alex. She leant her head onto his shoulder. 'I can't forgive Max, he hurt me!'
'Lizzie, it'll take time but no ones asking you to get back with Max, I just want you to be happy!'
'What do I do?'
'You have to let go! Max was right. And I don't want to be here, I have a place to go to Liz but I can't leave you until you let me go! I won't leave you until you and Maria are back on track!'
'But you shouldn't be dead.. Things shouldn't have happened that way!'
'Liz I'm dead because it was what was meant to be! It's better that way, I don't mind! I'm happy, or at least I will be when I can see my closest friend become herself. Liz you have to step out from behind the tree, show your true self! The person you're pretending to be isn't the Elizabeth Parker I know!'
Liz swallowed and looked down, 'You know I love you right Alex.'
'I know Liz,' he replied taking her into his arms. Tears began to fall from Liz' eyes onto his shirt.
'Please don't leave me yet Alex,' she sobbed, she wasn't ready to lose him again.
'I won't Lizzie, I'll be back soon. I'll stick around until you're ready , just try and make that sooner rather than later, it hurts to see you like this!'
'I will Alex.. thank you.'
Liz watched as Alex faded from view, giving her one last parting smile.
Liz sighed sadly and lay back onto her bed to think. What should she do?
'I know! Why do you think I'm here?'
'You know? Why didn't you tell me? I needn't have taken this if I'd known!'
'But they're not gonna take the news that the journal is missing well are they?'
'She dropped it! What was I supposed to do? Just give it back? I thought it would help! The others are on their way, I had to get the information! How was I supposed to know that it was them and not the others! You never told me about the connection!'
'When am I supposed to have had the time? I've only been back for a few weeks! I didn't even realise you were here until a couple of days ago when you contacted me! I haven't exactly had the easiest time! Those guys aren't exactly the best of friends at the moment! It's like something from a soap opera.'
'Yeah well a soap opera doesn't include us lot!!'
'Look, we have to act now, we can't put it off any more, they're gonna leave, we have to stop them! it's imperative!'
'What do you propose we do?'
'You have to tell them who you are.'
'I what?'
***
Maria stood in Michael's arms, 'Please don't leave me now Michael Guerin.'
'I promise you Maria, I'm not going any where.'
'None of us are,' said Max from the other side of the room, 'it's time we stood up and faced our fears.'
'Your fears Max,' said Liz. 'The rest of us are just trying to get our lives back.'
Maria plunged her head back into Michael's shoulder trying to shut the world out. Why did everything have to be so different? Why was it so hard to remember that time when they were all so happy?
'Liz we have to talk., now,' said Max.
Liz swallowed, well here it went, she'd promised. She walked into her room and shut the door behind Max as he walked in. 'What do you want to know?' she asked coldly.
Out in the sitting room the four friends eyed each other worriedly, could this be a good thing?
'I want to try and explain some things to. to try and make you understand.' said Max. Liz stared at him unmoved.
'Okay,' she said, she had promised him this much, she could listen.
'When I saw you in that bed with Kyle. I-I lost it. I couldn't bare the thought of life without you, I went out to the park to think and just as I decided what I would do Tess came up to me, she came to me when I was weakest and took advantage of it. We got closer through the memory retrieval and she began to mind warp me.'
Liz felt the anger begin to well up in her, was he just trying to excuse away his guilt? As if he was again just righteous little Max? Saint Max!
'I went to the observatory that night to work out how to get you back, she was there, we looked at the stars for a while and then something happened. I don't know what, she just well, she just. I don't really remember, all I remember is waking up beside her and feeling how wrong it was, not quite understanding what had happened.'
'Oh come on Max!' Liz blew up. 'It takes two to tango! Tess would have had a bit of trouble doing all that by herself, you needed to be a willing participant. You can't just blame everything on the mind warp and expect me to accept it!'
Max swallowed, but didn't back down. 'I'm not saying that Liz, I was wrong, I shouldn't have done it. I regret it more than you could ever believe-'
'Regret? What the hell do you know about regret?' interrupted Liz. 'Have you ever woken up regretting every single second of your past? Well I have! I regret the fact that I was just a few seconds too late to stop you from leaving, I regret the fact that I ever listened to future Max, I regret that even for a little bit I thought destiny would leave us alone, even for a little while, and I regret every second I've lost of my life and every second I've lost with the people I love, for myself! Regrets hurt Max, they're something I live with every second of the day!'
'And you think I don't know that?' Max flared up, loosing control, he let his heart take over, just letting throw out everything he'd been feeling. 'You're not the only one who's hurting Liz! Wake up and smell the roses! Let your eyes see the people around you! Maria and Kyle have lost their lives too, Isabel and Michael lost everything they had! I know how much pain I've caused! I have to live with that, I'll always have to live with it but that doesn't mean I'm going to tear myself down to a level where my friends pity me and I can't live my life. I know I've done wrong! I've done more wrong than most people will ever do but dwelling on that isn't going to help me to do right in the future! If you'd stop being so self centred Liz then you'd see how many people love you and how many people you're hurting! I'm not the one that matters here Liz, neither are you! It's the people who've been hurt because of us! It's time we started doing things right, but you'll never be able to do that until you let go, until you acknowledge that you have a right to move on!'
Max walked swiftly from the room leaving a shell-shocked Liz standing behind him.
Liz stood still for a long time until she realised that she was shaking, sitting down on the bed she fought to regain her self control. As her mind regained its balance anger began to sweep over her. How dare Max lecture her? What right did he have to come in here and preach at her? Him of all people! Nothing she had done was as bad as what he had done!
'Give it up Liz!'
Liz started at the sound of a voice, she swung round, 'Alex.' she whispered.
***
Liz stared in fear at the apparition in front of her. It was Alex. well almost Alex. His face looked strained and his eyes had lost the light they had always held.
'A-Alex.'
'Liz!' He grinned as he flung himself into her arms. 'It's been too long!'
Liz pulled herself away in fear, 'What are you?'
'I'm me Liz, there's no other way to explain it!' replied Alex. His heart sank as he saw the fear in her eyes, she really had changed. 'What are you doing to yourself?'
'I'm rebuilding my life,' replied Liz firmly. but for the first time a small doubt appeared at the back of her mind and she couldn't block it out.
'Are you?' asked Alex. 'Are you really? Cos from where I am it certainly doesn't look like it!'
'And where are you Alex?' asked Liz, her voice growing cold. 'You're dead! And all because of Max and Tess, and now everyone else is suffering too!'
'Oh give it up Liz!' replied Alex, exasperatedly. 'We all did this to ourselves! By running, by hiding, by not being ourselves! Michael and Maria hiding from their love, you pretending you didn't love Max, Max pretending to love Tess, Isabel hiding behind her ice queen mask and Kyle just trying to be the dumb jock he was because he knew. And me, trying to crawl out of the situation, trying to get away from where I belonged! Don't you see that you're still hiding! You're not rebuilding your life Liz, you're destroying it!'
'Destroying it?' Liz flared up. 'What, by trying to be normal? By trying to show Tess how wrong she was? By trying to get away from Max?'
'Come on Liz! You know that's not what you're doing! You know and I know, deep down in your heart all you want to do is to cause pain to the people who've hurt you most, Max and Tess. You want revenge, nothing more, nothing less, only it's ripping you apart. Where did your morals go Lizzie? Where did the girl who cared for everyone go? The girl who would spend her last bit of money on an ice cream for a kid who'd dropped theirs! You've lost yourself Liz, and if you wait much longer you'll never be able to find yourself.'
Liz stared at Alex in amazement as the words flew from his mouth and stung her soul. wasn't he the one she had been trying to avenge all these years? Her selfless acts and he was just yelling at her? Everything she had done for him and he was turning on her in favour of Max. 'Why are you here?' she asked coldly.
'I'm here to try and help you remember Liz, I'm here to put things right.'
'Yeah, well unless you can rise from the dead then I don't think that's gonna happen!' replied Liz as she turned away.
'Liz, I wasn't meant to be one of the gang, not forever, if you'd let go then you'd see how much stronger you all are now. Everyone's stepping out from behind the tree, they're all letting go of the past and looking to the future. Have Maria and Michael been arguing as much? No, because Michael knows who he is now and he knows that he belongs with Maria. Kyle came back, sure he ran at first but he's back now to help, and Isabel hasn't been the Ice Queen, she's been herself, perhaps for the first time ever. And Max has begun to heal, think of what he lost Liz, he lost you, he lost his son, he lost his family, he lost everything that mattered to him but he's trying to make things right now. Just like you should.'
'What Max lost? What about what I lost, huh Alex?'
'When you said that did you even think about what I lost Liz?' Liz stopped abruptly, what Alex had lost, well. 'No! You didn't! Can't you see you have to let go! It's not about what we lost is it, it was at first but now it's an obsession! I sat and watched my own funeral! I heard my parents crying at night, don't ask me how, but I did. And I hope you will never know how painful that is but I've let go, what Tess did was wrong and I agree she has to be stopped but you're not a killer Liz. You never were, and I never thought you could be, but you've been trying very hard to prove me wrong.'
Liz turned back to Alex, tears in her eyes. ' Look Liz, I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here to help you, to help you find yourself again. Just like the others. They've all discovered themselves so why are you holding onto the past! The past isn't what matters Liz, surely you understand that!'
Liz nodded silently and sat down next to Alex. She leant her head onto his shoulder. 'I can't forgive Max, he hurt me!'
'Lizzie, it'll take time but no ones asking you to get back with Max, I just want you to be happy!'
'What do I do?'
'You have to let go! Max was right. And I don't want to be here, I have a place to go to Liz but I can't leave you until you let me go! I won't leave you until you and Maria are back on track!'
'But you shouldn't be dead.. Things shouldn't have happened that way!'
'Liz I'm dead because it was what was meant to be! It's better that way, I don't mind! I'm happy, or at least I will be when I can see my closest friend become herself. Liz you have to step out from behind the tree, show your true self! The person you're pretending to be isn't the Elizabeth Parker I know!'
Liz swallowed and looked down, 'You know I love you right Alex.'
'I know Liz,' he replied taking her into his arms. Tears began to fall from Liz' eyes onto his shirt.
'Please don't leave me yet Alex,' she sobbed, she wasn't ready to lose him again.
'I won't Lizzie, I'll be back soon. I'll stick around until you're ready , just try and make that sooner rather than later, it hurts to see you like this!'
'I will Alex.. thank you.'
Liz watched as Alex faded from view, giving her one last parting smile.
Liz sighed sadly and lay back onto her bed to think. What should she do?