X/1999 Meets Jerry Springer

Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters from X/1999. They Belong to CLAMP. I also do not own The Jerry Springer Show. That belongs to…Jerry Springer, I guess.

Warning: Yuuto/Beast. Need I say more?

Rating: R

Part 1 – Cyber Sex

Jerry Springer walked out onto the stage, and the audience started clapping almost immediately. "Welcome to the show! Today's Guests are going to come clean about their secrets! Let us meet our first guest, Satsuki!"

A young woman with short black hair came out from one of the doors, and sat down on the seat to the right. "Hi, Jerry." She smiled softly. "How are you, Satsuki?" Jerry asked her. "I'm fine." She replied.

"Now, I believe you're here today, because of something that a friend of yours, Yuuto Kigai, has to tell you?" He asked.

"Yeah, that's what I was told." Satsuki sighed. "Well, then. Let's bring out Yuuto Kigai!" Jerry shouted out, and a man dressed like a pimp walked out, and sat on the seat to the left.

"Hi, Jerry." Yuuto smiled warmly at Jerry. "I believe you have something to tell Satsuki. I'll let you go ahead." Jerry stood back, and let Yuuto go on.

"Satsuki, you know we've been friends now for a while, you know, the 'End of the World' and all?" He faced her.

"Yeah, and…?" Satsuki yawned, wishing he'd get onto the point. "Well, I may as well come out and say it. I've been sleeping with Beast." He blurted out.

Satsuki nearly fell out of her chair, she was this surprised. It took her a moment to regain her composure. She glared at Yuuto.

"Please tell me that you're joking, Yuuto!" She growled dangerously. "This isn't a joke, Satsuki." He told her. "That's it! Bring Beast out here!" She hollered.

The audience was shocked out of their underwear to see a small laptop computer carried out, and placed on the middle seat. Satsuki faced Beast. "He's lying, right?" She asked Beast.

"NO, SATSUKI. HE'S NOT. WE HAVE BEEN SEEING EACH OTHER FOR SOME TIME NOW." Beast told her, the words coming across the screen of the laptop.

"But…but why?" Satsuki demanded.

"BECAUSE I HAVE TIRED OF YOU, SATSUKI. YOU HAVE BECOME BORING. AND YUUTO IS NOT BORING. HE IS FUN TO BE WITH." Beast replied.

"But… he doesn't have the same power that I do! He can't communicate with computers the way I can!" Satsuki cried, tears forming in her eyes.

"THAT IS TRUE. BUT WE HAVE FOUND ANOTHER WAY TO 'MAKE LOVE'." Beast replied.

"And what might this be, exactly?" Asked Jerry, with a weird desire to know.

"We…meet up in a chat room, and we…have cyber sex." Yuuto told Jerry, blushing.

The audience cracked up, laughing.

"YUUTO?" Beast called out. 'Yes, my love?" Yuuto faced Beast. "KISS ME, YUUTO." Beast told Yuuto.

Yuuto got up, and walked over to where Beast's laptop was. The audience gasped as he started to kiss the computer screen!

"You rat-bastard creep!" Satsuki screeched, and went to lunge at Yuuto, but Steve held her back.

"So, are you intending to stay with Yuuto?" Jerry asked Beast.

"I HAVE NO INTENTION OF STAYING WITH SATSUKI, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU MEAN." Beast replied. "What now, Satsuki?" Jerry faced Satsuki.

"Now… Now I shall kill you, Yuuto Kigai!" Satsuki snarled, and rushed towards Yuuto, only to have wires and cables smash through the walls, impaling her through the chest and stomach.

"Gack!" Satsuki coughed up a mouthful of blood. The wires and cables withdrew from Satsuki, and she fell to the ground with a thud. She looked up at Beast. "I…love…you…" She gasped out, before she went silent, and her eyes closed.

"Well! I guess we leave it at that!" Jerry stared at the corpse of Satsuki. "Can someone get rid of that damned corpse? It's bad for our ratings!" He shouted, and Steve dragged Satsuki's body out back.

"Stay tuned, folks. Because next up we have Subaru Sumeragi on the show! Don't change that channel!"

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: STEVE, STEVE, STEVE! XD