Disclaimer: I own nothing, I never have and I never will...

A/N's: Wow, those were mixed reviews, interesting because I knew it would happen; all I can say is that this has been floating around in my head and once my mind is set, there's no changing it. I hope you all bare with me anyways 'cause I kind of like a disgruntled audience; it's different.

Also, I'd like to say special thanks to beachtree who has, insofar, left some insightful reviews, thanks. Also to parasindy and silverdog; thanks for being there from the start ( Facing the Past') you guys you really keep me going.

Sinking, Feeling

Chapter Three

There was an abrupt silence after Ryan had bluntly made his confession, giving Ryan reason for doubt in his action.

A nervous feeling bubbled in his stomach. He would go to jail if convicted. Hell, even if he wasn't convicted for murdering Trey because they found the truth he would be nailed for lying to the cops, which was a felony in itself.

It was a lose-lose situation for him, and he knew it. He'd known it before he'd even said anything.

He wasn't sure what had made him do it. Not one thing in particular. Many things.

Marissa, and the fact that he could survive in there whereas she would not.

The fact that Trey was his brother, his responsibility.

He'd come here tonight to settle this with Trey anyways. A fight to the death had been a very plausible scenario that played in his mind on the way over.

He knew Trey wouldn't go easy on him just as Ryan knew he wouldn't go easy on Trey.

He'd tried his damndest and failed, but Marissa had succeeded.

She needn't be dragged in to the mess he'd created, by Trey coming to Newport. By losing his head with Trey to begin with.

Marissa had already been through enough with Trey, for Trey. He couldn't imagine what the past couple weeks had done to her, keeping a secret like that. He couldn't imagine what she'd felt like when he'd assumed the two of them were together.

Of all people it had to be Theresa to put him back in his place.

Trey's been lying to you all your life, why would you believe him now?

Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat and, no matter how much he wanted to, kept his eyes away from Sandy's or Seth's.

"Ryan?"

He grunted a semi coherant reply, still keeping his eyes closed.

Sandy kneeled beside him.

"Ryan, if you did this -"

"I did" he choked out.

Each word was getting harder to let go of.

"Ryan. I don't believe you" Sandy said firmly.

His eyes snapped open and met Sandy's. The one thing he'd fought so hard not to do because he knew, just like Seth, just like Sandy, that what he was usually feeling was in his eyes.

Sandy smiled wearily, "I knew it"

Ryan had, in that one simple gesture, proven Sandy's hypothesis correct.

He snorted back a fit of laughter, finding it ironic that he, Ryan Atwood, couldn't even confess to murder properly.

Who'd have thought?

"Ryan, what was your part in this?" Sandy pushed.

When Ryan didn't answer, Sandy pushed himself up from the pavement, his eyes scanning the parking lot.

Seth, the poor kid, was standing with Summer looking so lost and confused, as if he'd lost a brother. As if everything he'd believed in had toppled right in front of him.

Beside him Summer was lost in thought, biting her lip. She seemed unconvinced.

For a moment, Sandy thought he'd missed her. Another sweep of the parking lot, and he knew he hadn't.

Marissa was gone.

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"I can't believe we didn't even see her sneak off" Summer wanted to kick herself.

How could they not see it coming? How could they all not see it coming?

"Yea.. well.. I was distracted by my best friend admitting to murder" Seth stated sarcastically.

Summer rolled her eyes, "You heard your dad as well as I did Seth. Ryan didn't do it."

"Let me ask you something." Seth paused, turning and giving her his full attention, "Twenty minutes ago when I thought Ryan was a murdered I was upset as hell. It put everything I thought, everything I'd learned and believed and trusted in to chaos. Why aren't you upset about Marissa?"

Summer shrugged passivly, "Cause she had a reason. If I'd been in her shoes instead, I woulda done it"

Seth eyed her.

"What?" Summer asked, raising a finely plucked brow, "You wouldn't?"

Seth had to think about it for a moment. "I... I don't know. I mean... maybe there was another way..."

"Yea, maybe if we had a few minutes to think about it.. but in the time you're wasting Ryan's losing his brain cells because his goddamned brother won't let oxygen flow to it" she snapped.

Seth took a step back, ashamed for a moment.

Tonight had shaken him. These past couple weeks had shaken him. Hell, since Trey'd shown up he'd pretty much been a disaster in some area or another. Not that he was blaming Trey, persay, but it just hadn't helped matters.

Just when things start settling down, shit hits the fan.

"Why don't you two go home?" Seth's dad approached the two of them.

They were all still standing around in front of Trey's old unit. The ambulance had come and gone, as had a a couple more cruisers.

The landlord had been taken away for assault and the police were talking with Ryan now.

"What about Ryan?" Seth asked immediately.

Now that he knew Ryan hadn't done it, his faith in him was stronger than before. Their bond, he hoped, wouldn't suffer due to another Oliveresque-incident.

"Ryan is speaking with the police"

"Is he in trouble? For all of this?"

Sandy sighed, "I've gotten them to not press charges for misinformation to an officer, but now they suspect him of aiding in Marissa's escape.

"That's-"

"Stupid, I know Seth. But the fact is... the fact is that we have a lot to clear up tonight. You can't help here, so you may as well -"

"No" Seth said firmly.

His back was aching, his nose throbbing and his eyes were drooping, but Seth had doubted Ryan once again. He would suffer and stay for moral support. He owed it to him.

"Seth-"

"Dad. I mean it. I want to be here. For Ryan."

Sandy frowned.

"Mr. Cohen?" a voice addressed Sandy from behind him.

He turned to find Officer Lewis standing there, "Yes?" he asked politely.

"We're taking your client down to the station now."

Sandy nodded his head in understanding, then turned back to Seth. "Home. Now."

"But-"

"Seth" Sandy was beginning to lose his patience. It'd been a long day and it would be a long night as well.

"Come on Seth, I'll keep you company" Summer whispered, tugging at his arm.

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"Is that all?" Officer Lewis interogated Ryan who was sitting in an interview room with Sandy by his side.

"Yes" Ryan nodded his head, trying to keep his temper. He'd told and retold the same story roughly six times now, up to and including the police getting there and any discussions beforehand.

Lewis leaned back in his chair, tapping Ryan's file in front of him. "So tell me, why would an innocent kid risk going to jail for murder when he didn't do it?"

"Why can't you understand the five answers I gave you to that question before!" Ryan snapped finally.

"Officer, if you don't have any more questions... we have been cooperative thus far and I'm sure we could all use some rest." Sandy intervened firmly but politely.

As far as he was concerned, the interview was over.

"I just want to make sure we're not releasing a felon back on to the streets tonight, Mr. Cohen"

Sandy bit the inside of his cheek angrily. "Look, Officer. I will not put up with this harassment and neither will my client. You've had the Crime Unit in here to do a GSR-"

"Which was inconclusive, and we're still waiting for the fingerprints and the unit to get back to us " Lewis interrupted.

Sandy stood up quickly, pushing his chair back. "Even the experts in your own department claim there's no way Ryan could have fired that fun and not gotten any on his shirt, jacket or the outside of his hands!"

"He could have changed, washed his hands"

"You're reaching and you know it!"

Officer Lewis and Sandy challenged eachother in stared for a few minutes until Lewis finally backed off.

He glanced at Ryan who was still slumped in the chair, looking as though he'd been up for a week straight. "You understand you're not allowed to leave the city without contacting out department, until the investigation is finished?"

Ryan glanced up, "Yes sir"

Lewis nodded. He didn't necessarily want to give these two a tough time, but he couldn't understand why the kid had done what he'd done if he wasn't involved either.

"One more thing" Lewis pushed.

Ryan looked up, Sandy looked angry.

"You're sure you don't know where Marissa Cooper could have gone?"

"No I... I don't know" Ryan shrugged his shoulders.

It was the second lie he'd told the police tonight.

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Marissa couldn't believe she'd done it.

She couldn't believe she had made it.

Now she knew the survival instinct Ryan had felt when he'd run away after just coming here.

She'd had to run. She knew it would come out that she had done it, and she wasn't sure whether she could deal with the concequences.

At first, she'd just wanted to step in to the darkness, just to be invisible for a moment. Give herself time to gather her thoughts, her feelings. She had to prepare herself. But with every step she'd taken away from the place, the better she had felt.

The more relaxed she was, the less worried.

It had been okay for a few blocks. It had worked and she'd felt better.

Then the panic had set in. She'd just run away from the cops. After killing someone. After killing Trey. And the need to continue running grasped her mind. Her pave quickened, worried now.

Would they send cops looking for her?

Of course they would. She was a murder suspect. Marissa Cooper was a murderer.

And she had no where to go.

They'd find her at home.

They'd find her at Summer's, at Seth's. They would likely search the pier, or any of their regular hangouts.

They would question Summer and Seth, even Ryan as to her whereabouts.

Oh my god, they would go to her house, he parents would know. She could never go back, ever. Not without being caught.

Tears trickled down her face as she continued to walk aimlessly. Or, at least, she thought it was aimless at the time.

Until she'd ended up in front of the bus station.

Not having a car was a drawback. But riding a bus was a possibility. All she needed was a ticket.

For that all she needed was cash, and that was one thing she had thanks to her mom's gold-digging ways.

Wiping away the salty tears on her face Marissa walked in to the small bus station trying to look normal. As normal as a teenage girl could look in a bus station this late at night anyways.

She would catch the first bus there, and hide until then.

No one would be the wiser.

No one except for maybe Ryan. The only one she was interested in seeing.

Marissa stepped up to the small wicket where only one person was currently working.

She was about to order when she realised that if the cops came around asking questions, it'd be pretty obvious where she'd gone.

"Hi" Marissa smiled her brightest smile.

Act like you belond, and no one would question it. That's what everyone in Newport did every day.

It's not who you were, it's who everyone thought you were.

The tired looking didn't smile back, "What can I get you?" he asked in a monotone voice.

"I need a ticket to Portland." Marissa stated carefully.

"Oregon?"

"Yes" she replied crisply.

"Is that one way, or round trip?"

It hit her then that she really was running away. Marissa Cooper was already a killer...

"One way" she replied.

Marissa Cooper was now also a fugitive.

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Ryan could barely keep his eyes open the whole ride home. Though he was expecting a lecture from Sandy at any moment, none came. It was nerve-wrecking.

He was tired, dead tired, and all he could focus on was the thought of his nice bed.

That and Marissa.

He had a gut instinct about where she was going, as soon as he'd heard she'd disappeared.

But it would have to wait.

By the time they pulled in to the driveway, Ryan had been lulled asleep in the passenger seat.

Sandy had been preparing a lecture the whole way home, or at least attempting to, through the fog he seemed to be living in. Now, as he glanced over at the unconscious Ryan, he knew that the lecture would have to wait for tomorrow.

It's not like he was going anywhere anyways, right?

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"Jimmy, are you still up?" Julie mumbled, wandering in to the kitchen where he ex-husband, Jimmy Cooper sat.

"Yea... I'm worried about Marissa"

Julie snorted, "Don't be jimmy. Since you left she's been like this, gradually getting worse...I have no control over her anymore Jimmy, not even Cal could control her"

"That must of pissed him off" Jimmy started sarcastically.

"Jimmy!" she huffed.

"What!" Jimmy grinned, leaning back in the chair.

"You know that tonight was the first time she'd hugged me in... ages.. Jimmy, I don't know when she hugged me last..."

"The past couple years have been tough for her Jules"

"For her?" Julie snorted, "If she could experience half of what I've been going through -"

"Actually Jules, I think Marissa's had enough of her own problems."

"Teenage drama, Jimmy"

"Oh, so every teenage girl's mother sleeps with her daughter's ex boyfriend?"

Julie glared, "Why do you have to bring that up again?" she snapped.

"Because Julie... that's what her past couple years have been like for her. One thing after another" he shook his head.

"Starting with you stealing money and losing out house" Julie accused, not impressed with his attempt to push blame on her ignorance.

"And her and I have made amends over that.."

Julie was ready to retort a response when there was a loud knock on the front door.

Each of them glanced at eachother, worry etched on their faces.

Jimmy stood up from the table and entered the hall first, pulling open the wide door to reveal a police officer.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cooper?"

Neither of them bothered to correct the officer's obvious mistake. Everyone in their right mind knew who Julie had been married too. She'd made sure everyone knew.

"Oh my god" Julie let out a small gasp, "What's happened?"

"Ma'am, it's about your daughter.. do you know of her current whereabouts?"

"No... she ran out earlier after a phonecall... what's going on? Is she okay?"

"As far as we know Miss. Cooper is fine, however we would like to ask her some questions about an incident earlier tonight, and her disappearance is indicating guilt."

"Of what? What did she do?"

"We're not sure whether she has done anythign or not, Mrs. Cooper"

"What' s she accused of?" Jimmy interrupted.

The officer met both sets of eyes staring back at him, waiting for an answer.

"Your daughter is wanted for questioning in a murder earlier tonight"

"Who?" Jimmy demanded.

"Atwood..." the officer squinted at his legal pad.

"Ryan?" Jimmy pressed, a lump in his stomach. No way Marissa would, could ever kill Ryan. But if someone else had, it would explain why she had run away.

"No... it's a Trey Atwood."

Jimmy wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried now.

If it'd been Ryan it would mean Marissa was certainly not guilty. But if Julie was right about their daughter's recent actions he couldn't say that about any other victim.

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Marissa was sitting on a bus now. The first one had left for Portland at 5:10 in the morning. It was supposed to make a couple stops, and it was at one of those that she would get off and buy another ticket.

And though part of her was nervous about what she was doing, she knew there really wasn't another choice except to turn herself in. And she wasn't ready for a prison sentence either.

Silently and patiently Marissa Cooper watched the California sun begin to rise up over the fields and wineries, casting an orange-red glow over everything.

This whole thing seemed almost surreal. Like she would wake up at any moment.

Leaning her head against the window, Marissa closed her eyes and hoped against hope that Theresa still lived in the same house.

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Hmm, I think I'll leave it there for now. Yes, yes, I know. I'm evil, that's old news people! On the bright side, the more reviews I get, the faster I'll post!