All of this ran through my mind as I gazed down at your broken lifeless form. My Master could see my thoughts as clear as a bell. He recoiled in disgust when I mentally took stock of your attributes, remembering the beautiful strength you held, and the love I could feel in your eyes. He said you had weakened me, you drained me of the darkness he needed for me to posess. You had filled me with happiness, an emotion most unwelcome in a Sith. You put light in my eyes that should only know the Darkness.
Now, upon your death, he told me I would begin to experiance the feelings I would need, to lead me further on the path to the Dark side. I had known fear, when I began having the dreams of losing you in childbirth. I now felt all consuming anger, for his selfish, unspeakable act, striking down the one person I had left who had meant something to me. I felt rage scathing me down to the very core of my being, and boiling over to a bubbling mass of darkness, darkness he would use to his advantage. My hand twitched a bit as it rested mere inches from my sabor. I considered killing him myself and taking the Empire as my own. Unquestioned Master to all surrounding me. My heart thumped louder in my chest as I pondered. I was almost drunk with the thought when something spoke to me.
What would you do to bring her back?
I was suddenly jolted out of my thought proccess by a female voice that posed the ultimate question. The one question I dreaded, but had known since I saw you lying there motionless, that I would ultimately have to find the answer to inside myself.
But who had posed the question? That I did not know, it had come to me in a voice so loud and clear that I thought it certain that the Emporer had heard it as well. But he did not acknowledge it, and I said nothing.
I looked around, your lifeless body was still at my feet. Their was no other female in the room, only my Master and I. The voice was still for a few seconds as if waiting for a response. Or waiting for me to acknowledge what I felt deep within my being. The Force was speaking directly to me!
That can't be, I thought, trying to push the thought aside and return to matters at hand. But he could tell something was distracting me. "What is it? Speak up!...Do you see something?" I looked away, unable to gaze upon your killer. Even if he was my Master. He nodded knowingly and his face broke into a smile, "Good," he sneered, his face becoming a steel wall of hatred. "Feel the anger rising in you Lord Vader. It will make you strong, not weak like the emotions our simpering, young, former Senator was somehow able to inspire in you." I jerked my head up to look at him when he had the audacity to mention her name. "Maybe in death she can be of some use to the Empire, instead of trying to destroy it as she did in life. I know you hate me right now for killing her. But you will remain faithful even now. For who but me will have you as you are? As you have been. Who among the Jedi would forgive your actions along the road to ultimate power? Need I remind you of your last visit to the Jedi academy?"
His hand fell upon my shoulder, falsely portraying the caring Master.
-
I shuddered inside when he mentioned that fateful day. The day I had pledged my allegiance to the Empire, and to him, and the mission he had sent me on that day. I could still hear the younglings screams every night in my dreams night as I tried to sleep, to no avail.
It was the feeling of my first surge of true power that made me feel then that I couldn't give it up. To fight him in Padme's honor would turn me into what I hated most. A hypocrite. I had stood by and even taken part while he killed thousands in the name of the Empire. I was responsible for the death of my own children. And to now turn from the Dark side and put Anakins life back together without her...without them..
I could not further degrade her memory by dishonering the person she was in life in such a way. I shook my head in defeat, and turned to look at him. My head bowed, my face complescent, I replied, "No Master. I am grateful to you for accepting me. I will do whatever you ask." His face softened into the face I recognised as Senator Palpetine, the face I had trusted so much. The face that would lead me down the doorway to certain destruction of any shred of humanity and compassion within me.
He had truelly made me into a machine, that could afford no emotion.
I had no choice now, my fate had been sealed. "Good, now I have heard rumours surrounding the death of Jedi Master Yoda. I want you to go to his home planet and see what information you can gleen from the locals there, then I will send one of my less,..recognisable affiliates to the Jedi Temple ruins, to look around."
He paused, and after a moment said with a satisfied sneer, "You would be a bit ...recognizable I think. And after another long pause with both of us making unspoken challenges, he sneered in disgust, and perhaps a small ammount of pity...If Sithlords were ever afforded with such emotions. I only knew of myself. And I knew that I had pitied many of the victims I has eradicated with my light sabor. But not enough to keep from completing my task.
Master spoke again, his voice taking on a soothing, syrupy tone " I can see inside your soul, read your every intention. You think I don't know you hate me? Trust me, I know. I will teach you to turn that hate into power. That power will serve you well. Trust me Vader, as you did that day you pledged your loyalty. And together we will rule this galexy!"
Without thinking I shot out, "Will you bring back Padme?" It was not a sarcastically rhetorical question, or a question of blackmail. I honestly wanted him to at least consider it. Perhaps if I couldn't save her from death the first time, I would succeed the second. And then I may be able to convince her to join me.
But I knew that, given a second chance to save our love I would be more vulnerable to her wishes, I may give up everything I had worked toward, in an effort to keep her with me always.
His face became an evil mask of rage, and in a flash his face was mere inches from mine as he raged, "I killed her for the good of the Empire! And dead she shall remain! Now to your task!" His yellow eyes tinged with the blood of all of his victims now burned into me. Dejectedly, I once again bowed my head and in a flourish of black, I went to do his bidding.