It was a beautiful day in Los Angeles as is every Los Angeles day full of dying palm trees, smoke infested streets, and bootleggers. Damn, you gotta love L. A! Our favorite 'it' girls sat outside of that tea shack with the impossibly hard name. They all wore mini skirts and tube tops that showed off lots of skin with the exception of Catty who decided to go topless. But no one cared because they were the 'it' girls and that's what 'it' girls do.
"So, Michael broke up with you?"
Vanessa sobbed and blew her nose into the table cloth. "He stopped by to return everything this morning". She pulled out a box of song lyrics, mud pies and a few lonely marshmallows. Michael had eaten most of them, that greedy son of a Regulator.
"Whoa!" Jimena gasped. "Estar bien mundo!"
"I know, Jimena. What a jerk"
"Papizza es madre la paprika"
"Yeah. I don't know if I want us to still be friends"
"Taco Bell?"
"No, of course I never slept with him!"
"Well, you know what I think?" Serena asked, her hands suspiciously resting behind her back.
"Hm?" No one really cared in the least. Everyone hated Serena. Because they knew. About her new favorite pastime that is.
"What?" they all asked lifelessly. Oh, they knew what she thought alright. That crazy crazy naughty girl.
"I think we should go out and PARTAY!" She raised her hands in the air and waved them around which otherwise would have seemed rather enticing. But no one else joined in. So she looked like an idiot.
"Is that your solution for everything?" Vanessa rolled her eyes. "And why are your hands behind your back?"
Serena gulped. But she knew how to get out of it. You see, Serena was the "wisest" so she used her superior "wisdom" to make up a very very convincing lie. That's right. Serena lies. Get over it.
"I was caught by the police". She held up her hands to reveal a silver pair of cuffs. They all gasped. But that couldn't be the reason. They all knew how Serena handled encounters with the police. If you know what I mean. And Vanessa knew for a fact that she was lying. You see, Serena is not that "wise". For if she had the "wisdom", she would have hid the print that covered the handcuffs in BIG BOLD letters: BOBBY LEE'S SEX AND BONDAGE SHOP. That, my friends, is called common sense. That's what it's called.
And Serena doesn't have it.
Serena noticed the letters eventually and panicked. In a clumsy motion, she pulled the cuffs down, accidentally throwing a blow across Jimena's lip. Jimena reacted automatically from her old gang days and punched Serena dead in the stomach. Serena was out like a light for the rest of the conversation. Thank heavens.
"So" Vanessa asked. "What should I do?"
"Andele! Andele! Arribba! Arribba!"
"You're right, Jimena. I can find another boyfriend".
"A better one!" Catty stated the obvious as she couldn't say much more.
"A-" Tianna tried to get a line, but was quickly interrupted by Vanessa. Poor poor Tianna.
"Planet Bang?"
"Figaro!"
"Yeah, it is closed tonight, isn't it?"
"The Dungeon?" Catty asked, stupidly.
"But that's" Tianna started.
"A follower club! We cant go to a follower club!"
"Come on Vanessa!" Catty said. "Live a little!"
"Livin la vida loca!"
Vanessa gave a little smile. "Okay".
"Yes!" Catty screamed.
"Si!" Jimena laughed.
"I'm so excited you g-" Tianna (verb).
"Check!"
Will Vanessa ever find the 'man of her dreams'?
Will Tianna ever get a line in?
Will Serena wake up before she can be kidnapped, gagged, and raped?
Depends on how sadistic I'm feeling…
Find out on the next episode of Handcuffs, Makeout Scenes, and Everything N Between: Dungeon Dilemma.
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