The Legacy

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Twenty Five Doubts and Surprises

Leonardo:

Karena and I headed towards the woods, letting my brother's voices fade slowly behind us, as we slipped further into the darkness of the forest glen, I felt Karena's hand slip into mine and I gave it a gentle squeeze.

For the moment we were both quiet not needing to talk just silently enjoy each other's company. I concentrated instead on picking clear paths through the wood so there was less chance of Karena tripping on something, or where possible, I would put myself in the path of the rock, or branch or tree root, or whatever else I saw that might cause her to stumble.

I was starting to feel closer to Karena, it seemed the feeling just grew stronger with each passing day, though I had not yet spoken of what I was feeling beyond our initial talk in Central Park.

Her answer to my question back then had given me foolish hope that I might, actually stand a chance with her.

Yeah, right and just who was I trying to kid? I asked myself.

Still I couldn't deny the way she made me feel, the tight feeling I got in my chest or the funny feeling that rose in the pit of my gut every time she was near me, not to mention all those little things about her that just endeared me to her all the more, like her warm gentle smile, her friendly laugh, her low soft voice, the way her eyes sparkled or even the way she seemed able to put up with the more irritating of my brothers.

I knew what I felt for her was starting to pull me down, drag me deeper; in short I was losing control.

I had always strived for control; it had been a part of my lessons and training and became a part of my life. Now though I was losing any and all aspects of control because I wanted to hold onto something that was probably no more then a dream.

I knew in many ways Karena completed me, she had become a part of me and my life, and now I couldn't imagine my life without her, problem was I had no idea how I could hold her or keep her with me. I had nothing to offer her to make her sacrifice worthwhile.

" Leo?"

Her voice caused something to stir inside me, " Yes Karena," I replied.

" Your awfully quiet all of a sudden. Are you thinking again?" She teased.

" It is a bad habit, isn't it?" I joshed. I paused and looked down at her.

By now the forest had us so surrounded there wasn't even a faint light to see by, but my eyes were far more used to the blackness of night then they were to the light of day.

I brushed a lock of her hair from off her face, pushing it behind her ear, in a gentle caress; she grabbed my wrist in her hands and kissed my palm. I felt my heart skip slightly before it resumed beating at a faster then normal rate.

I bent to kiss her full on the lips and felt her eager welcome response in return. I broke off the kiss and stood lightly caressing her cheek, I could almost feel the energy flowing from her to me, and then back again.

" You Karena are truly beautiful," I breathed softly, as I did my best to still my rapid beating heart.

She ducked her head, turning away but I could see her blushing nonetheless, as if I had caught her off guard.

I had caught myself off guard too for that matter, I hadn't been expecting to say it, and it had just come out unbidden. It was just another aspect of how much control I was losing if I was just saying anything that came to my mind.

All my life I had been taught to think of others, to put everyone's needs before my own, so I knew to confess to what I was feeling would go against all my training because I would then be thinking only of myself, putting my wants and desires ahead of everyone and everything else.

It wasn't fair to her, because she ought to know how I felt, It wasn't fair to me, but I knew where my duty lay, what I had to do and it hurt to even think like that. Not once in my twenty-one years had I ever felt like this, or even thought of putting myself first. I knew I could tell her that I loved her in hopes of having her stay.

But that was unlikely, for she could only fit into my world at a great cost to herself, sure she said she would be happy with out all the sort of things many wanted out of their lives, but when she came to realize just how much of her life had to be put on hold, just to be with me, would she then only hate me?

Karena hesitated slightly at my side " Leo I'm almost afraid to move, I can't even see my hand in front of my face."

" It's all right Karena, I told you that you were safe with me, I meant it, I haven't let you misstep once." I informed her.

" You aren't a mutant cat." She scoffed.

" No I'm better, I just happen to be a ninja, so the dark is my ally." I replied turning to hug her, " It is strange Karena, though you have been with my family for quite some time I have only started to get to know you, yet at the same time I feel I have known you all my life."

" Or been looking for me" She remarked coyly, " I like watching you play and have fun. Rama is right you should do it more often" Karena insisted.

I sighed, " I wish I could Karena but the responsibilities that are expected of me, don't leave me much time to enjoy life, there is the image I must uphold to some extent" I shook my head hesitating, " Things that are expected of me and, I know I can't always have what I would want or even like to have for myself." I was searching for a way to try and explain exactly what we were up against but I knew my own longings were tripping me up making me sound uncertain at best.

I was feeling slightly irritated, because I really did want to tell her how I truly felt, and yet if I did I might only trap her into a life that she might regret later, I didn't want to find out that while she might be willing to try a life with me now, for things to fall apart sometime a few years down the road when she fully realized what her sacrifices amounted too.

Then again I felt she had a right to know how I felt for her, she deserved to know what I was feeling so that she could then make an honest choice for herself, stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place, unable or unsure how to solve this dilemma, I resorted to speaking without thinking. I seemed to have a habit of doing that, especially around her.

" Kangaeru yui gon shinu nashi di, mo kangaeru tenraku ni ren'ai kiku nihone taizai keredomo soro de kireba desu wagamama na no nihone suru totemo." ( The first part of this I don't want to translate just yet. Leo is being a bit romantic, from mo kangaeru tenraku to suru totemo Leo says he is falling in love with her and he'd ask her to stay but it would be selfish of him to do so.)

I realized what I had done almost instantly but there was no taking it back now, I had spoken in Japanese, my mind going for the easy alternative, I could confess my feelings without trapping her, but in speaking a different language I might have ended up offending her.

I was about to apologise to her and make up an alibi for my lapse in manners, when suddenly she spoke in Japanese.

" Motto yukkusi hanashite kudasei nasu ka. Nihongo O anari haneshimasen ka. Soretome mi itte kudasai masu ni eigo ka. Dozo." ( Could you speak more slowly? I don't speak much Japanese. Or could you repeat that in English? Please.)

Karena had startled me for I hadn't been expecting any reply, or at least not a reply in Japanese, still the halting careful way she spoke told me she was new to the language, but how new?
How much had she understood? Hopefully not too much as she had been asking me to repeat what I said in English.

" You have a unique way of speaking Japanese Karena, it is not normal to put any emphasis on the spoken words" I remarked, while I hoped that she really hadn't figured out too much of what I had said, or worse yet had understood what Raph had said, which reminded me that I would have to get him back later.

" I know Mike told me that" Karena admitted, " he started teaching me Japanese when Shay was visiting he said he was bored and needed something to do."

I knew Mike better then that, yes he could become distracted easily and grow tedious when apathy set in, but it was not his style to give out lessons in any thing. Mike had to have some other motive for teaching Karena Japanese.

" So how much has he taught you?" I asked.

" Not much, just small conversation basically" Karena grinned, then gave a small shrug " I'm not even sure of what you said, you spoke so quickly you lost me more then anything" She admitted, " So what did you say Leo?"

I sighed wearily, it seemed I couldn't even express myself in another language without trapping her. I felt suddenly irritated at Mike, but I knew Karena was waiting for a well-deserved answer.

Now I either had to lie to her, which I couldn't bring myself to do, I could avoid telling her, which wouldn't be fair to her. Or I could tell her the truth.

Not much of a choice.

I decided to admit to only a portion of what I had said; hopefully she wouldn't notice my omission and accept that what I told her was correct.

" I told you that I believe I am falling in love with you, and I would ask you to stay with me, but it would be selfish of me to do so" I confessed, not without some doubt on my part.

Karena:

I almost laughed as I realized how shocked Leo was to hear me speaking in Japanese to him, sure I didn't understand what he said but thanks to Mike I still could reply to him, all Mike's lessons really seemed to pay off.

The hard part it seemed was digging the translation out of Leo, I was wondering if I could get Mike to give me a version that is if I could remember everything Leo had said, which was rather unlikely.

Leo thought he was falling in love with me, oh please. I really hoped so, I'd been waiting for it and hoping he would start to feel more for me, but knew I had to wait. I'd all ready learned it didn't pay to be too anxious or eager around Leo.

He really had to be serious to even think of asking me to stay with him, though for some reason he felt he was being selfish by asking it.

" Why Leo what could ever be selfish or wrong in wanting me to stay with you?" I wondered looking up at where I knew him to be.

I really wished I could see a bit more then a dark shadowy shape in the blackness of the night and surrounding forest.

I heard a soft exhaling of breath that took on an almost discouraging and doubtful sound

" I can't ask you to give up so much of your life for me Karena" his words were bitter and full of longing, " For me to do that would truly be the height of selfishness."

" Leo you are the least likely person to be selfish you know that? Besides that everyone is entitled to have times where they think of just themselves" I pointed out.

" Karena you'd be putting your life in danger and…"

" Don't start those excuses again Leo," I chided gently as I snuggled closer to him, " Now you listen to me Leonardo, there is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting me to stay. You have deprived yourself of so much over the years that it has become a habit for you, but you have to take time for yourself Leo or you'll spread yourself too thin." I gave my head a little shake " You have to give something to yourself, so you have more to give to others later. I don't know how you have managed to handle the responsibilities you have so well." I smiled a bit, " I told you before I have all ready considered what I might have to give up. I have been thinking of doing private tutoring that way I can still help teach, but at the same point less chance of bothersome questions from co-workers." I looked at him hoping I could help him understand, because if I couldn't then he may never take what he felt for me any further, no matter how freely it was offered to him.

" Karena" Leo began.

But I quickly overruled him. I placed a hand against his plastron, " No Leo I've told you what matters in my life and I've seen how connected your family is to one another, yes you have your differences but deep inside, you all support each other" I grinned, " I've seen how your skills help you connect with one another. I know Mike has often told me word for word what I was thinking, and I have to wonder how he does it. I know he can though and I figure you must know it too." I paused and laid my head against his shoulder, felt his arms slide around me to hold me in a comfortable hug.

I raised my head, " I don't care how dangerous your life might be at times Leo, because in many ways the life you boys lead is far more peaceful then anything I have ever known." I took a deep breath, " I wouldn't mind sharing in that life Leo, you don't have to ask I want to be there" I confessed, " I wouldn't be here right now beside you if I didn't want to be Leo, what I first thought I felt for you has only grown since we've been spending time together. Sure I could be elsewhere right now but the fact that I am here, really ought to tell you something Leo."

I then gave him a long passionate kiss, which he returned, pulling me closer to him, in a tight hug.

" Atashi ren'ai Leonardo-san." I whispered to him as we broke off our kiss.

I felt him tremble and hold me even tighter.

Leonardo:

I couldn't believe what I was hearing; it was too much to take in all at once. Not that I didn't want to believe her, I did, I wanted to believe her so much that it felt much too easy, her wanting me the way I desired her.

In any other situation like this, I 'd probably be expecting some kind of trap.

I reached into her mind, feeling the depth of her emotion, the truth of her words, she truly sincerely wanted to be with me, by her own choice, when she could have left.

Only, she hadn't left because she had been waiting for me, to notice her, to return the love she had, only I had ignored her feeling that her emotions were too similar to other guests feelings.

If I thought I had been losing control before, this was total surrender to the emotional onslaught, and while the thought of being out of control had always been, in a way terrifying to me due to all its implications, I didn't seem to mind giving it up now. I was willing to relinquish all control if it meant I could have her.

I didn't want what I was feeling to end, I didn't want to hold too tight for fear of losing it entirely, I wanted to hold it forever and give it time as well as room to grow.

It seemed I had been waiting for this all of my life, and all that really mattered now is what the two of us shared. I gave into my feelings as I returned Karena's kisses and held her close to me; but even then I knew I still needed time to accept all that she offered me, all she was willing to give up for me.

I knew I would have to reciprocate in some fashion to make her sacrifice worthwhile, after all relationships, should never be strictly one sided.

" Utsukushii sa ren'ai Karena as I caressed her face yet again." I whispered to her in return.

Tell me; oh please just tell me that this couldn't be wrong because nothing felt more right in the world.

TBC

Lady of Randomness: With the story quickly coming to an end trust me I will be tying up some loose ends. Originally I never had the wedding of Leo and Karena but I might add it this time, depends on my mood and how creative I am feeling. A gratitude for your insight.

Chibi Rose Angel: Oh yes, Leo has to cut loose and have fun somewhere along the line, and Raph knows how good it is for Leo to do so, so he encourages Leo to enjoy. Updates should come at two a week now that I am finished my other rewrite. A gratitude for your insight.

Rat Queen Valarian: Hmmm, I'm not sure I know what a tessen is, so I am glad it has been put away. Raph loves to have fun at Leo's expense naughty turtle that he is. A gratitude for your insight.

Lenni: Yeah something to do with love all right. Check for updates about twice a week because I am now finished The Enemy rewrite and working on finishing this one up. A gratitude for your insight.

Mikaela's Spade: Well, I like giving Leo a chance to be not so stiff and formal, he has to be responsible everywhere else so he really needs an outlet. Haven't seen that book you mentioned, I may have to look for it thought. A gratitude for your insight.

Lil Kimi: Glad you are enjoying the story, All ready told you what naughty Raph said, and I hope you like the soon to be coming ending. A gratitude for your insight.

Lunar Ninja: Ah, Mike has been able to keep Karena's language lessons a secret he is very crafty, considering it isn't easy keeping secrets from people with ninja skills. Leo is going to learn his assumption about Karena is quite wrong. A gratitude for your insight.

Reinbeauchaser: I have changed that choose to chose, thanks for the heads up on that one. I really must try those banana s'mores some time they sound wonderfully delicious. Yes Raph knows what to expect from Leo but he still has to have fun and bug his brother. As for the hand in cold water while sleeping, it is suppose to make one urinate while sleeping, or so I've been told, never tried it. When Leo is away from home he gets to play and leave responsibilities behind. A gratitude for your insight.