Chapter Six

Horatio had insisted that Emma should try and get a few hours of sleep while they made their way to the Indefatigable. The child was exhausted. Surely going through the variety of emotions she had today would drain the energy out of anyone. She protested heartily, even through yawning. She was a stubborn one, his wife. His wife...... Good God. Horatio repeated the words over in his head. Here he was, at the age of twenty, married when his experiences with women amounted to no more than a few passionate kisses. Speaking of which..... Horatio looked over at Emma, curled up on the other end of the small boat, her knees pressed against his legs. Their kiss had unnerved him and scared the devil out of him. To know that such fire existed not just in the shade of her hair but in her very being. Such passion in a virginal creature, and she was, of that he had no real doubt. Her response to his kiss was passionate, but it was also unpracticed, curios. It made him more than a little nervous to think that he would have to take the lead in their marriage bed. Surely she would be disappointed when she realized that she was being bedded by an ignorant fool.

Horatio swallowed a lump of self loathing. He should have gone with them. The dozens of times he and his mates had docked in different ports along the Atlantic. They'd teased him to know end. Still, he supposed he'd gotten the last laugh when they returned carrying varying discomforts. They insisted it was worth it however, even as they spent the rest of the voyage scratching themselves and pissing fire.

"It's a special thing, laying with a woman. Made all the better if you love her." his father had told him when they'd had a man to man chat before Horatio set out for life at sea. "And the devil take you if you catch some whore's disease that robs me of any grandchildren. So help me, I'll box your ears, lad." Dr Hornblower had added. Well, she's special. Horatio thought. But she does not love me. He added with a pan of disappointment. Stirring slightly, Emma burrowed deeper beneath his jacket. Horatio wished he could wrap his arms around her to help warm her but he had to keep rowing if they were to make the ship soon.

That was his nature. Putting practicality before pleasure. And that was why he was one of the most respected men on the Indy, regardless of his rank. And that was why he would be going to his marriage bed as inexperienced as his sixteen year old bride. Bloody hell. His nature had efficiently decided to bit him in the arse. He had the technical gist of the act. But if there was one thing his years at sea had taught him it was that textbook learning was no match for practical experience.

His mouth went dry and he took a long gulp of water from the flask wishing he'd been able to procure something stronger. Mercy but she was lovely. Horatio mused watching his young bride. Could you make someone fall in love with you? He wondered. Emma had done it. So very easily by showing him the spirit behind her beauty. She seemed suitably impressed by his brave tales but that wasn't quite the same was it? She had liked kissing him. That had been a good promising start but what else did he have to offer her except his name and lowly position? "Damnation." he swore, annoyed with his morbid musings.

"I'm sorry." Emma's voice startled him. Horatio hadn't even noticed that she had awakened.

"For what?" he asked softly.

"The burden my father placed on you. Me." she said pushing herself up to a sitting position and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. With her hair down her back and about her shoulders she looked every inch the sixteen year old innocent that she was. "I'm afraid my father should have warned you that I may not make a very good wife. I don't know much about....." here she lowered her head and Horatio wondered if she was blushing. "wifely duties." she said with a shrug. Horatio opened his mouth to speak but Emma pressed on. "That is, I can cook. I spent much time with Mrs Hathaway in the kitchen and I can run a household I'm sure but..... I'm sure I'll be a disappointment to you in other matters." she said not looking at him.

Horatio had to literally bite his tongue to keep from laughing. He didn't think she'd appreciate that. She was worried about disappointing him? "Rest assured that you needn't worry about that." he said, his voice cracking.

"Oh. Then that is not to be part of our arrangement?" Emma asked. Did she sound disappointed? Or was it merely wishful thinking on his part? "We didn't mention that so I had wondered." she admitted. "While I admit to a small measure of relief....." Emma said studying her hands. Oh blasted hell. Horatio wanted to throw himself overboard. She was relieved that they weren't going to consummate the marriage. Weren't they? Well, she was right. The matter hadn't even been addressed. "In all honesty I must also add that I was rather curious." she added in a very small voice.

"Oh." Horatio said, feeling as if she'd knocked the wind out of him.

"Can I tell you something, Horatio?" His name sounded rather lovely coming from her mouth, he mused.

"Of course." he said, slightly breathless.

"Well, I had the most lovely dream just now. You were in it." she gave him a small smile.

"Was I?" he asked, not knowing where he was getting the ability to speak. She nodded slowly.

"I was remembering our kiss back in the chapel. I rather liked it. Did you?" she asked. The girl was trying to kill him, Horatio decided.

"It was quite nice, yes." he nodded trying to clear his throat.

"In my dream.....that is......there was more to it." Horatio felt his entire face burn with embarrassment and he quickly looked away. "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have spoken. You must think me the most indecent-"

"No!" he interrupted quickly, seeing her on the verge of tears.

"It's only that. I was hoping that we could become friends at least and as friends, we could discuss anything."

"I'm your husband, Emma and I should hope by extension your friend as well. You are correct and I hope you will feel comfortable enough to speak freely. I was only.....unprepared for your candor." he said. Letting go of the oars ,just for a moment. he told himself, he took one of her hands in his. Her skin was soft and warm tucked in his. The gesture seemed to give her courage. She smiled at him. He could kiss her now. As often as he damned well pleased cause she was his now and was about to do just that when her next words stopped him.

"Do you want this to be a marriage in name only, Horatio?"

"Do you?" he blurted, caught off guard yet again.

"I asked you first." she smiled teasingly at him.

"In all honesty, no. I do not. I would like a marriage in the truest sense of the word, but by the same token I would hardly force any unwelcome attentions on you." he assured her. There. He'd been honest and his heart was racing with the exertion of it.

"And if they weren't? Unwelcome?" Emma asked. Horatio's eyes widened.

"Am I to understand.....that is.....that you wish.....that you would not b.b.be adverse to...." he stammered. Bloody damn. Hardly the most seductive of approaches but he always stammered shamefully when he was nervous.

"Yes." she nodded squeezing his hand.

"Oh....well then....Good. Quite good" he replied dumbly. She seemed to be waiting for him to say something but Horatio's mind was properly blank.

"Well?" she asked.

"What?" he asked.

"Aren't you going to......" she said, red faced as she slipped his jacket from her shoulders.

"Goodness, not now!" he blustered panicked.