Sunday morning, Lily lay awake in her bed, not yet ready to get up. She had noticed Sirius and Missy had been spending a lot of 'friendly time' (as Missy put it) together. Lily knew her friend would get to Sirius soon enough. All of a sudden, hysterical screaming jerked her completely awake.
Lily yanked aside her bed hangings to see what was up. The sight that awaited her caused her to double over with laughter. Sirius had flown his broom up the stairs, hoping to wake Missy up. When he entered the room, he was met by the screams of half a dozen half-dressed sixth year girls. Missy, who was already dressed, was attempting to usher her friend out of the room while girls screeched, covering themselves with anything they could grab, while throwing curses at Sirius with hastily snatched wands. Before Sirius left the room, he had leeks growing from his ears and he was yellow with frizzy hair and purple robes. Missy motioned for Lily to follow them. Lily knew Missy wanted help removing the curses.
Lily ducked out of the room, giggling, and followed the two down the stairs, Sirius sliding because he had forgotten to get back on his broom, so the stairs collapsed under him. The two girls, who were starting to get a hold of their giggles, burst out again, gasping for air by the time they reached the common room.
Only when she got there did Lily remember she was still in her pajamas. Most of the guys were looking at her with all-too-easily-read expressions. She tried to act cool, not as if she were standing in the common room in a tight black tanktop and short white shorts with strawberries on them. She didn't notice James in the corner, sending death glares at her.
Lily, still laughing, helped Missy restore Sirius back to his normal state. She collapsed onto the couch with a sigh as the normal-colored couple left the room for a walk by the lake. After a moment, she realized she still wasn't entirely awake, and before she could do anything about it, she fell into a dreamless sleep on the couch.
James listened to a fifth-year conversation as he contemplated what to curse Evans with.
"I hear the Slimy Slytherins are going to declare war on us Gryffies," one boy said.
"I heard that too. Did you know they actually created a ranking system for all the houses?" asked a second male voice.
"No! Do you know the order?"
"I only heard about us and the Slytherins. Apparently, their 'Pureblood Princess', as they call her, is Nacrissa Black, big surprise there. Their 'Pureblood Prince' is Lucious Malfoy, another big surprise," said the second voice.
"I never will understand their obsession with Purebloods! Anyway, continue."
"They call James Potter our Prince," (James fell off his chair).
"Pureblood Prince?" asked the first voice.
"No, just our prince. Don't particularly know why, but I suppose it fits, I mean, he is always messing with the Slytherins…"
"Yeah, but so is Sirius Black."
"I know, but it might be that he always seems to take personal insult when they say 'mud-you-know-what'. Anyway, they call Lily Evans our 'Mud-you-know-what Princess'."
"Well, that's fitting, except for the mud part."
"Yeah, it is, isn't it? Funny thing is, they make a bigger deal about the princesses than they do the princes"
"Yeah well, the Slytherins are old blood (so old it's rotting…) and they like to think of themselves as gentlemen, so it kinda makes sense."
"I guess."
The conversation turned to other things, and James was left, pondering. Him? The Prince of Gryffindor? Definitely gave him some advantages. James was beginning to make evil plans when Lily woke up.
Her green eyes fluttered open. James jerked back. Most people awoke with unfocused, blurry eyes. Lily awoke with her clear eyes focused directly on James's.
"I heard that conversation a minute ago," she told him. "And if you get any ideas about this 'rank', you can take them and shove them where the sun don't shine. Besides, if your head gets any bigger…"
"Lily, look--" James began innocently.
"Just a warning," Lily told him, and stood up, stretching. "Now, I'm going back to bed, I don't want to hear another word of this from you. Clear?"
James nodded his head dumbly. Like a thunderstruck deer, he scolded himself. Actually, more like a thunderstruck stag…By the time James had pulled himself out of his musings, Lily had already slipped away.
Lily tried to erase the incident from her mind, but it stuck as firmly as any cocklebur, refusing to be dislodged. She hated the fact that the Slytherins had ranked her the same as Potter… Unfortunately and completely awake now, she sighed and dressed.
The red spaghetti-strap tanktop and denim jeans shorts suited the warm weather. Lily didn't want to admit to herself that she had half-enjoyed some of the stares she had gotten that morning, and that they might possibly be influencing her outfit choice. The normally conservative Lily was generally only seen in a tanktop and short shorts when in her pajamas. She wasn't even really sure why she owned such things as the outfit she now wore. Apparently for such an occasion. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail after using magic to make it impossibly straight. The only makeup she applied was red lipgloss that matched the bright tanktop. She looked in the mirror, grudgingly admitting that she might not be a hopeless case after all.
She slipped quietly down the stairs, hoping no one would notice her silent departure from the common room.
James looked up from his magazine just in time to see the portrait close behind Lily. He grinned rather evilly and followed her out. James found Lily sitting under a big tree by the lake feeding bread bits to the giant squid. She had her sandals off and was bathing her feet in the cool water. James quietly climbed up the tree behind her and sat in a branch above Lily's head.
He pulled out his wand, shaking with anticipation. This was going to be good. He charmed Lily's hair silver and dark green, then did a full body bind on her. A very startled Lily fell flat out on the ground. James dropped down from the tree and grinned into her frozen, yet still glaring, face.
James bound her magically to the tree after doing a voice charm on her that caused her to sing "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts…" at the sound of laughter. James chuckled to test it out. When nothing happened, he removed the body bind. The sight of his enemy struggling madly without getting anywhere because she was still bound to the tree caused James to fall down laughing. Of course, this caused Lily to sing, which caused James to laugh harder, Lily glaring at him all the while.
Unfortunately for Lily, the curse didn't permit her to speak, so the only sound she could make was "…there they are, a standing in a row…", the whole shmere. A laughing group was forming around the beet-red Lily. Struggling against her bonds, she grinned an evil grin to rival James's. Her hand had worked its way into her pocket, and found her wand.
Before he knew what was happening, James found himself bound to the tree next to Lily, wand flying out of his hand.
"EVANS!" She would have laughed if she could. She undid the charms on herself, and stepped away from the tree.
Looking into the lake, Lily could have vomited. Her gorgeous hair was silver and green! She hurriedly turned it back, then tried to remove the singing spell. She did so successfully, but her hair went back to silver and green. After a few more tries, Lily found that if she removed one curse, the other remained. She decided she needed her voice for a moment.
"Potter," she whispered dangerously.
"Damn it Evans, it was just a joke!"
"Yes, so it this." She promptly dyed his hair bubblegum pink and his robes silver and green. She gave him purple-polka dotted skin, giggling all the while. For the finishing touch, she dumped the rest of her bread pieces on a very horrified James, and before she stood back to watch, she bent down and whispered into his ear, "As you said, no Gryffie should ever be colored Slytherin green!"
Lily stood with the laughing crowd as the giant squid crawled a little out of the lake to dine on the bread strewn across poor James's hapless form. Lily, deciding that having Slytherin-colored hair was more embarrassing than singing, changed her hair back. She dashed back and grabbed James's wand from the ground (Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head) before retreating to find Sirius to take the singing charm off of her.
Lily dragged herself into the common room, still shaking with laughter, which unfortunately, caused her to sing (which was really strange to see). Someone grabbed her from behind.
"What'd you do now?" asked Sirius, turning Lily around so she could see him.
Once Lily had somehow communicated to Sirius that she needed him to reverse the spell (it was his, after all) she related the tale, ending it with an uncontrolled fit of laughter. Sirius, James's staunch ally, was doubled over next to her, breathless, tears running down his face.
"Are you serious?" He finally asked her, gasping.
"No, you are, but look out the window!"
Sirius looked out the window and stopped laughing. "Uh, Lily?"
"Yeah?" she asked, still giggling. She didn't mind being around Sirius; he wasn't as arrogant as James.
"You might want to run for it."
"Why?" Lily was confused. She was on top of this joke, not James.
"Look out the window."
Lily looked at the tree, but James was no where to be seen.
"Bloody Hell!" (glances at audience and cringes) "Oops, if you're religious, then what I meant to say was SHIT! Wait!"
"What?" Lily grinned impishly, twirling James's wand. Sirius gave a bark (yes, bark) of laughter. "I definitely know that wand! But, you have to ask, how did James get unstuck?"
"And that, my dear boy, is why I'm running to hide in the prefects' bathroom for a while!" Sirius snorted. "What? The only way geniuses don't get caught is if they hide!"
"Good point! If he comes this way, and he will, I'll tell him I saw you going to Madame Lazora to have your vocal chords put back to normal." He grinned evilly.
"And don't think you're off the hook for that, Sirius Black!"
"Oh, I know, but I thought he would use it on Snivelley or something. You know, if we could get you and James to stop making attempts on each others lives and sanity, you'd make a good addition to the Marauders."
"Actually Sirius, I don't think either James or I have any sanity left, so we're halfway there! Okay, running for my life now, see you later."
"Okay. Wait, Lily!"
"Yeah?"
Sirius blushed. "Uh, do you know, I mean, would you-"
Lily smiled gently. "Her favorite flowers are red climbing roses, her birthday is May 16, so her birthstone is an emerald, her favorite gemstone however, is a ruby. She likes marigolds, hates cats, and her ribs are her most ticklish spot. Her favorite kind of chocolate is dark Belgian chocolate. Is that good?"
"I owe you Lily."
She grinned at him. "She's my best friend. If I didn't tell a potential suitor all this, who would? And she's most likely to accept on a Monday night. Don't know why, but she's never turned down a date proposed on Monday night."
Sirius muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'freaken encyclopedia'.
"Okay, I'm really running for my life now. Bye!"
"Bye," said Sirius. "One more thing, in case you're never heard from again. Like all good pranksters, I know you have a list of all the pranks you've ever pulled. Leave it to me in your will?"
Lily shook her head, giggling. "Goodbye, Sirius."
"Bye sister Lily!"
Sirius watched Lily disappear around the corner, shaking his head. She's all right. Witty, cunning, and a healthy sense of mischief. A good match for James… He smiledJames would skewer him for just thinking that. Speak of the devil, because here he is now!
James came flying around the corner. Sirius grimaced. He was dragging Lily along behind him -- literally. James's eyes were hectic, and he was pulling Lily, who was curled protectively around something, and covered in a green substance (which was helping her to slide). He dumped Lily at Sirius's feet.
"Didn't make it, did ya Lils?"
"He had to resort to a muggle trick. He poured liquid soap all over the hallway. GREEN soap! I fear for the life of the next person who so much as mentions green to me…"
"I need a jinx, or a hex, a curse, or SOMETHING!" shouted James, rather upset that his best friend was conversing with the enemy.
"James, calm down mate. What is your problem?"
"She won't give me my wand!" he whined like a child.
"Holy Hell Potter, it's just a piece of damn wood! I sang "I've got a lovely freaking bunch of coconuts" for half a freaking HOUR! Let me have my fun, damnit!"
"Evans, I'm warning you!"
"Potter, you don't scare me! Besides, I've got complete power, and I'm enjoying it!" And with a last, villainous laugh, she dashed down the hallway before either boy could move. They leaned around the corner in time to see her slip in the green liquid soap at the end of the corridor. "DAMN IT!"
A/N: Um, sugar high? The first person to correctly guess what happens to the next person who so much as mentions green to Lily gets their name put here . Dealio? And El, you don't count because you helped me figure it out! R&R, or I'll send my evil purple elephant after you…