Lily spent the rest of the night plotting her vengeance upon James (she had spelled his wand (you didn't know that was possible, did you?) to zoom around the Great Hall during dinner. It was hilarious to see him have to chase after it. He eventually caught it, sending death glares at Lily). This time, it wasn't going to be a joke or a prank. This was a full-out evil scheme, complete with map and everything. Unfortunately for Lily, James spent the rest of the night (yep, you guessed it) also planning an evil scheme, complete with a map and everything. Unfortunately (God, I love this word!) for James, James got the Marauders' help on his plans, and one of them was very much in debt to Lily, and very much in love with Lily's best friend. So, the story continues, despite the author's rants…
"Oh, Lily," whispered Missy hauntingly, leaning over her best friend's face.
Lily sleepily batted at Missy, glancing at her digital watch. "Missy! It's five a.m.! Have some consideration, please!"
"Believe me, you don't want to go to sleep," said Sirius, his face appearing in her view. "My dear fat-headed friend has some interesting things planned for you."
"Taken care of, because I have some pretty terrible things planned for him."
"Yeah, but Lils, you really, really, want to avoid some of the things he's going to try on you," said Missy. "Unless you would enjoy walking around all day with your lips glued to Malfoy's…"
"Okay, I'm officially awake now, so tell me what the HELL you're talking about!"
At breakfast, Lily was looking over her new and improved plan when someone's shadow fell across her parchment. She looked up to see McGonagall looking down. She wore a very disapproving look and held a wincing James by one ear. Lily noticed James held rolls of parchment as well.
"Miss Evans, I have been informed by concerned students that your friendly rivalry with Mr. Potter is none too friendly." She took hold of Lily's ear as well, lifting her from her seat. Lily hastily gathered her maps. "We will further this discussion in my office." She towed the two grimacing students all the way to her office, their sympathetic friends looking on after them. Lily sighed as whispers followed them out the hall.
"This has gone far enough! I'm aware that at the moment there are numerous magical traps set up around the grounds at this moment, by my two PREFECTS! I've stood by while your competitions got fiercer and fiercer, while you two alternated between silent treatment and insulting competitions. I've even ignored some of the hexing and jinxing I've seen! I REFUSE to ignore anything else you two do to each other! And apparently you two have been using spells on one another for quite some time now! That is improper use of magic, and is NOT taken lightly! Do either of you have anything to say for yourselves?"
They both looked properly ashamed and shook their heads.
"Twenty points from Gryffindor each and three days detention together." They both gasped and practically died. Lily came rather close, actually, she fainted and McGonagall had to revive her.
"Couldn't we do like, four days each, apart?" asked James.
"No, and since you like the number four, you can do four days detention together. Your detention assignments will arrive during dinner. You may leave."
For the next five minutes, all that could be heard from the two was incoherent cursings. If you did happen to understand something, it would sound something like this: "Damn Potter/Evans, that arrogant piece of shit, how the hell-- four freaking days! Damn Potter/Evans, that arrogant…" you get the jest.
As soon as the two were out of sight of McGonagall's door, an interesting occurrence, well, occurred. Actually, not so much interesting as fantastically hilarious to watch. Sirius and Missy had been planning this for a moment they knew their friends would be annoyed most. The moment Lily and James rounded the corner, they were bombarded by hundreds of illusions of Snape and Malfoy. The illusions were attempting to kiss the two prefects. At the same time, showers of green paint were pouring down. As it came in contact with skin, it faded to silver, then back to green, and back again. To top it all off, a shower of heart-shaped confetti avalanched down, sticking to the paint-covered teenagers.
Of course, at being attacked, each assumed the other was to blame. Therefore, if you looked at this scene, you would see two now-green, now-silver prefects fighting off love-struck Snapes and Malfoys while trying to move despite the pounds of heart-confetti sticking to their bodies, and still trying to jinx each other. They were succeeding in cursing each other for sure.
James had a beard. Lily had three arms. James swelled up like a grape. Lily started hiccuping yellow turtle-shaped bubbles. Lily liked this idea and gave James a turtle shell. Lily gained a third eye (which was really weird). James grew a monkey tail (which stuck out the bottom of his turtle shell). Lily's third arm started tickling her. James grew a third leg that started kicking him. Therefore, Lily's third arm started punching her. The list goes on and on people.
Finally, Lily had an epiphany (I love that word and I don't know why).
"DAMN IT MISSY YOU'RE DEAD!" James, about to hex Lily, stopped.
"SHIT! SIRIUUUUUUUUUUSSSS!"
The two culprits appeared on command (they were using James's invisibility cloak). They had been laughing hysterically, but neither Lily nor James had heard them because they were rather caught up in their battle. The Snapes and Malfoys disappeared with a wave of Missy's wand.
(A/N: remember what Lily said earlier about what was going to happen to the next person who so much as mentioned green to her? Think about what's going to happen to the people who cover her in green paint…)
Lily turned impossibly red. Forgetting for a moment that she had been trying to kill James, she said, "You take Sirius, I've got Missy." James agreed, and they advanced on their friends. Lily pointed her wand at Missy and without a word transfigured (yes, transfigured) Missy into a snake. Lily stood, stunned. She had just transfigured a person into a snake. She hadn't known she was that strong!
James was rather shocked, but thought it was a good idea, so he transfigured Sirius into a snake. Lily snatched up the two, holding them firmly. She leaned down to them.
"Sirius, I warned you what would happen to the next person who so much as mentions green to me. Idiot. And Missy! I mean, come on! Snape and Malfoy? That was just plain mean!" James snatched the two from Lily.
"Sirius mate, what the fuck? Snape and Malfoy poofs? I mean, come on. Because of you, I have a monkey tail, a turtle shell, and three legs along with an assortment of other freakishly weird deformations! And since they were caused because of your prank, these hexes were meant for you…" he pulled out his wand and twirled it evilly. "Evans, grab their wands, and on the count of three, change them back. They may be able to run faster as people, but I think we can-- improve-- their conditions."
Lily grinned an unsettlingly evil grin. She transfigured her friends back. Of course, being smart(ish), the two ran for all they were worth, James and Lily running after them, hexing their brains out (in Sirius's case, literally).
If you looked at the corridor, you would have seen two green teenagers with strange abnormalities chasing two more very screwed up teenagers who seemed to be running as though their lives depended on it (and they probably did).
Lily and James were told to serve their detentions with a temporary teacher. This teacher had a name. The name was Nirlanna Umbridge (Dun, dun, DUN!). So for the next four nights, the two teenagers sat side by side, carving 'I will submit to Queen Umbridge' into their hands. You can imagine how amazingly pleasant this was. It just sorta…fueled James and Lily's hatred for each other. I mean, when pain is crazing you like that…
A/N: I'm SO sorry it's so short, but MY HEAD HURTS! Besides, I was running out of ideas, I had to enlist the help of Elli (Clueless Bystander) once I got Missy and Sirius into snakes. THANKS A MILLION ELLI! Anyway, sorry again for the short chappie, but at the moment, it's like 3 AM and I'm on a sugar high because I'm eating ice cream, so, Sami out! R&R or I'll send my evil purple elephant after you!