A/N I do not own Degrassi, any of it's amazing characters, or the song "It could be sweet" by Portishead..oh yeah..and um..REVIEW!
If only she could keep running, the world passing by her in a blur, nothing ever being in focus for too long. That way, she wouldn't have to think about the fact that her mother was a drunk, and her father was in war, and maybe, just maybe, she could keep her world from falling down on her. Nothing was in focus, nothing was real. There was nothing binding her to the world, nothing keeping her grounded. She glanced down at her arms. For a moment, her view blurred, and everything stoped moving so fast. The one thing that kept her knowing that she was really here, was her arms. Each delicate white arm, finely structured, was covered in scars.
Leaning back against a tree in the reclusive privacy behind Degrassi, Ellie let out a huge yawn, and let Hamlet fall to her lap. She checked her watch, wincing slightly at how much time had gone by in the hours since school had ended.But it was such a beautiful day, and there was no better way to ruin it then by going home, where her mother was probably passed out on the couch, curtains drawn, hiding any trace of sunlight the day might have. She sighed and shook her head. Mom can wait, she thought defiantly, picking up her book once more, and settleing back in to the tree. Ellie began to read, but was soon disrupted by the sound of a muffled sob. It sounded like it was near her, and she looked around wildly. She leaned around the tree, craning her neck to see if someone was lying in the soft patch of grass behind her. To her surprise, someone was. It was Paige Michealchuk.
"Paige?" Ellie asked disbelivingly. Her voice still held a bit of the edge it normally did when talking to anyone in the school, except for Marco. Paige was lying on her stomach with her arms cradling her head. At the sound of her name she looked up. Ellie was shocked. No one would recognize the Queen of Glam now. Her mascara was running down her face, and sumdges of pink lipstick were everywhere, except on her lips. Ellie slowly got up and walked softly up to Paige. Crouching down next to her, Ellie looked in her eyes for a moment, as if she was deciding how to act towards her. She made up her mind to be nice and and sat down, and placed a tentative hand on her back.
"Hey, are you okay?" Ellie asked softly, rubbing Paige's back.
Paige gave a deep shuddering sigh, and sat up, leaning on her elbows. "No. Tough few days, ya know?"
Ellie nodded, surprised at the lack of bubble and giggle that usually followed everything Paige said. She had known that Spinner and Paige had broken up, after she had destroyed his car, but she didn't think that Paige would be that affected by it.
"Is it..Spinner?" She said carefully, watching for her reacation.
Paige shook her head slowly. "It's not about him. It's about me. I think there is something wrong with me."
Ellie snorted, then clamped her hand over her mouth when she realized that Paige was staring at her, looking pissed off.
"I know, I know" Paige began "How could Paige have anything go wrong with her and her perfect life? She's beautiful, and she's got a great sense of fashion. Nothing is wrong-" She lost the slight edge her voice had as her voice cracked. She started sobbing again, and Ellie felt a prickle of worry creep up her back. Something was really wrong with her. She began rubbing her back again, and let Paige collapse in to her lap, crying hysterically. "Shhh...Paige.. it's okay. You can tell me. I promise I won't broadcast it on the news or anything."
Paige looked up at Ellie from her view on her lap. For once she felt like she could trust her, and she ran with it. She took a deep breath.
"Ellie, I think I'm a lesbian."
For a second no one said anything. Ellie was staring down at Paige, and she, was looking away, trying to get away from Ellie's unwavering gaze. Paige sat up, slowly, and began to gather her things, mumbling excuses for leaving. She was just about to stand up when Ellie's ragged voice spoke up from behind her. "Paige...wait."
Paige was convinced this was just an opportunity to be laughed at, or for Ellie to make some smart remark. She put her hands on her hips, not willing to give up with out a fight. "You know Ellie, I-"
Ellie silenced her, midsentance, with a kiss.
I don't want to hurt you
No reason, but I have fear
And I ain't gulity of crimes they accused me of
But I'm guilty of fear