Sorry if I haven't updated in awhile now. I know, I know. The wait is so long. You know, more reviews would erase my writer's block instantly. This chapter is after Siobhan is out of hospital, and Snape might seem out of character. And Lupin as well come to think of it. Please read and review.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters, setting and scenes you might have seen in the wonderful books of J. K. Rowling. I do however own Siobhan. And the plot.
Chapter 3 – The truth revealed
Siobhan sat on the sofa, her knees tucked underneath her arms staring into the fireplace. The fire was not lit since it was mid-August and there was no need for it to be lit. Severus Snape sat there, dark bags under his eyes from not sleeping at all for the past week. Not only was the memory of Gwendolyn haunting him as he had sat by Siobhan's side when she was unconscious, but his left arm had been burning furiously every time the Voldemort called for him. Severus knew he would have to eventually face the Dark Lord's wrath, but hoped it wouldn't be soon since he had spent the past 18 years or so as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, and Voldemort would be furious if he ever found out.
He snapped out of his thoughts, blinking once or twice to focus better, and found that Siobhan was staring at him with a look on her face that he could not quite decipher. Her black eyes looked at him intensely and for the first time noticed that they were rimmed with red. Red eyes- the colour of Voldemort's eyes.
"What is it? Do you seriously want me to shave that badly?" he asked her slightly amused. It was true he now resembled Sirius Black as he had done three years ago, when Severus had threatened to kill him.
"No, it's not that, although you could use a good shave. Its just......." she replied not quite finishing her sentence. She looked at him more intensely, her eyes narrowing, a frown of frustration appearing across her forehead and then spoke. "There is an evil presence surrounding you, and it runs through your veins, but you, or your soul, is warm, loving and protective."
"What do you mean?" Severus frowned in frustration as well, and waited for an answer.
"A Death Eater is suppose, but not a pure one." She closed her eyes if that last sentence had tired her out, and her shoulders shook slightly as shiver sped up her back.
"H-how did you know that, if I may ask? Unless, unless your mother told you." Siobhan shook her head.
"My mother never told me anything of the sort. All she told me was that my father was out there somewhere and that he would come back someday, and yet, he didn't." She paused and she laughed bitterly as a memory came back to her. "After awhile I guess she went sort of mental, you might say. Every Sunday morning, at dawn, she used to go out to the gates of our house and wait to see if you were coming. When I turned thirteen she stopped, but kept reassuring me that he would come back one day."
"Honestly, I didn't know. I... I... I..." He couldn't finish the sentence but simply choked. He got up and sat next to her resting his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off and wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.
"Oh, please, save me all that shit. You left my mother full stop. Until her dying day she still blamed herself, she never blamed you. You were always "the perfect person, a true saint'."
"Siobhan, please listen. I'll explain. Just-" Siobhan swung her head to look him in the eye, her eyes wide in anger, cold in bitterness and cut him off.
"Explain WHAT exactly? Explain why you fucked my mum and then when you felt like you were bored of her got up and left or explain why you never came back? I told you I don't need some long explanation full off bullshit. Actually, you were right. Maybe I am better off in a home."
Severus didn't know what to say. What was he meant to say? Maybe it was true. Maybe he had used her because he was bored and she was the only thing that interested him. Siobhan stood up to go to her room, but Severus grabbed onto her hand and pulled her back down.
"You are going to sit down and listen to me good. This is going to be short and correct. You may not believe a single word of it but listen anyway." Siobhan tried to pull away but Severus' grip remained firm.
"Let go off me you grease ball ! You can't make me listen your not my-"
"Father? I think you'll find I am." He raised an eyebrow an amused look on his face and Siobhan stopped struggling. "I loved your mother, I left her for her protection. If I had stayed with her, she would have died at a much earlier age. As for you- I never knew you existed."
"Really? I bet I'm the reason you left. Couldn't handle a bawling baby that turns into an irritating kid, that also turns into a grumpy teenager? I've met men like you and they make me sick!" She spat in his face and Severus simply wiped it off, and continued talking.
"Don't be so childish. I left your mother way before you were born. If I'm not mistaken you were born August the first 1980. I left your mother December 1979. Exactly nine months before your birth."
"But why? Why didn't you tell her why? You left her mentally ill."
"The Dark Lord would have killed her if he found out that I actually loved her. A woman who was not a Death Eater or had once been a Slytherin was not acceptable."
"Yeah, but he killed her anyway. Maybe not because of you but he killed her anyway. And you weren't there to protect her. To protect me."
Tears fell down her cheeks as the realisation that she was now alone in the world sank in. That she was the last of the McKay clan. That her father didn't love her, and her godfather... well she had lost contact three years ago.
"I do love you. You're my child as much as you were Gwendolyn's and I would never turn my back on you. Not after I turned my back on her as well."
"How can I be sure? How can I be sure you won't up and leave? How can I be sure you won't hurt me?" Severus squeezed her hand, but she pulled away as if his touch burnt.
"Why would I hurt you? Siobhan please trust me. I'm begging you, please understand. You are the daughter I never knew existed and I love you already. If I didn't love you don't you think I'd have left you five days ago to bleed to death? Don't you think I'd let you starve yourself and not bother making you drink that nasty Blood- Replenishing potion? I love you, even if you are like a total stranger to me."
"You're the father I never met. I can't say I love you but I trust you with all my heart, for some strange reason. Though I can't say I like your hair." She laughed and picked up a strand of his greasy hair.
"Well, I love you. Everything from your rancid temper to your stubbornness." He smiled, which was a rare thing for him to do, and squeezed her hand. This time Siobhan did not pull away. Instead she turned and gave Severus an earned hug from his daughter.
Miles away, Harry Potter was sitting in the bedroom that he and Ron shared at 12 Grimmauld Place polishing his Firebolt, that Dumbledore had sent to him on the first day of summer, in hope of raising his spirit slightly, after all he had suffered a tremendous loss. Even his broom could not take his mind of what had happened. Sirius was dead and it was partly his fault. He mostly blamed Snape and Dumbledore, but then again, he too was to blame. If he had not been so stupid as to think Voldemort had been able to get hold of Sirius then he might still be alive.
Shrieks were coming from downstairs, and Harry knew it was no other that Mrs. Black's portrait. He went to see who had woken her up, and found it was Nympahdora Tonks, a clumsy young Auror with the ability to change her looks. Remus Lupin and Charlie Weasley were frantically trying close the curtains in front of the portrait, finally succeed after what seemed like ages. Harry was glad Snape was not here since he always seemed to remind Harry that Sirius was dead, and Harry always seemed to end up lashing out at the git. However, Harry had seen less of him last week, which was a relief, except for a day when he had 'accidentally' overheard Snape and Mrs. Weasley talking.
-Flashback-
"Oh, Severus I'm so sorry. I never thought you still cared about her," Mrs. Weasley had said pulling Snape into an uncomfortable looking hug.
"Thank you, Molly, but I'll get over it. Right now the young one is in hospital slipping in and out of consciousness. She rather weak, even though yesterday she was fine. Throwing flasks of potions around the room, if I remember correctly," he replied pulling out of the hug.
"Are you going to tell anyone else apart from the Order?"
"No, the Dark Lord would use her as a weapon. With her gifts he could do things that you cannot possibly imagine. Plus his blood runs through her veins, since it runs through mine." Molly Weasley gasped and took a step back, as if Severus would suddenly turn into Voldemort. "Molly, don't be alarmed. He is my great uncle, nothing closer."
"Well, that's a relief. For one moment I thought you were his son or something." But she stilled looked uneasy, as if wondering whether to trust him after all.
"I'd kill myself if I were. I must now leave you and return to St. Mungo's. She might be awake, and if I'm not there she might kill one of the nurses."
-End of flashback-
Right now, Lupin was helping Tonks on her feet, and it took awhile for either of the three to notice him.
"Uh, hello Harry," Lupin said trying to sound cheerful. "How are you?"
"The same as I was when you asked me that question this morning. I'm alright, could be better, but I'm alright," Harry replied, putting his hands in his pockets. "And you?"
"Fine, absolutely fine, just dandy. Why shouldn't it be? Everything's just dandy." Harry raised an eyebrow is surprise. Never had he seen Lupin so hysterical. Maybe he had a lot on his plate, being a werewolf, losing another Marauder and becoming a teacher again.
"Remus, are you O.K.?" Tonks asked shaking him slightly. "You look sort of ill."
"Me? I'm fine, just dandy. Nothing to worry about. Now I've got to go teach, and be shut out of her life again. Hey, nobody cares about a werewolf. Too dangerous for a sweet girl like her. Ha! he's more dangerous more like it. Now she's dead, now they're all dead, except her."
"Who's dead? Who's dangerous? Professor Lupin are you O.K.?" Lupin laughed manically, and Harry stepped back in disgust. If Harry didn't know better he'd say he was facing a madman.
"You don't know? The great Harry Potter doesn't know? Well I'll tell you. He's a bastard, she a nice woman, never loved me though. Loved the other nasty man. I loved her but she's dead now. How could I be so stupid?" He sunk to his knees and started crying. Charlie went to his side and tried to pull him up.
"Come on, that's a good boy. Up the stairs, to your room. No use hanging round here," Charlie said, as if he was talking to a little toddler, desperately trying to get him up.
"Why? I'll just have to come down again. Maybe she'll come at Hogwarts, maybe she'll like me more than her daddy. I'm nicer than her daddy, ain't I, Charlie?"
"Yes, you are. Now come on or Harry will hear."
"Harry will hear? Harry will hear? Now that mustn't happen, now. He'd kill me. Never see her again, will I? He's a bastard, isn't he Charlie?"
"Yes, he is, now COME on." With one final tug he managed to get Lupin on his feet.
"Professor who's a bastard? What are you talking about?"
"Not allowed to tell potty Potter. Too young. Doesn't know Occlumensy. Voldy- thingy might try to kill her if he found out."
"Harry I think you'd better go and tell Mrs. Weasley that Remus might be having a nervous breakdown," Tonks said stepping out from the stairs where he had been observing the situation.
"Not if you don't tell me what's going on? Who is dead? Who will kill him if he tells? Tell me!" Harry's temper was rising again. He hated secrets since they always ended up hurting him.
"Harry, this is important. Go and tell Mrs. Weasley and we shall discuss this after Remus is back to normal."
"But-"
"No buts, Harry. Just go. Now!"
Harry turned and thumped towards the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley was busy teaching the girl's how to polish a table without the use of your wand- the Gilderoy Lockhart way, who Mrs. Weasley was still a fan of despite his memory loss. Harry coughed loudly to interrupt the chatter, and Mrs. Weasley looked at him slightly concerned.
"What is it, dear? Is something the matter?" she asked putting down the book she was holding.
"Nothing's wrong with me. It's Professor Lupin. He's gone absolutely mental. Tonks called it a nervous breakdown," he told Mrs. Weasley who's eyes widened. "Insanity more like it."
"Where is he? Is he done any damage to himself?"
"No, he's just talking about stuff that don't make sense and crying. Charlie's trying to get him up the stairs and Tonks is just standing there observing. He's near the stairs."
"Thank you Harry. Now stay here. What he might have been saying is nothing to do with you. He's been through a lot. Just a bit more than you have, and the latest news he's gotten has finally cracked him. When he recovers I don't want you talking about it. You can tell those you trust but no-one else." At that she turned and left the kitchen leaving him with the three girls, who were gaping at him, slightly shocked by what he had just told Mrs. Weasley.
"Wow. Professor Lupin gone insane. Didn't seem like the type of guy who would," Luna Lovegood said, breaking the silence. She was staying over after the events in the Department of Mysteries, since it was not safe for her.
"Do you think he'll still teach? I mean, after a nervous breakdown you can't possibly teach properly," Hermione whispered possibly still in shock that Lupin had gone mental.
"Of course he'll still teach. There's absolutely nothing to worry about, Hermione. Isn't that right, Harry?" Ginny Weasley said reassuringly, turning to Harry for support.
"Yeah, sure. Of course he'll be alright." Harry didn't look Hermione in the eye, because he himself wasn't sure. "I'll go and see if he's alright."
"No, Harry. Mrs. Weasley told you to stay, and she knows what's best for you."
"WHY IS IT THAT EVERYBODY ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR ME, HUH? WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE HAS CONTROL OVER MY LIFE EXCEPT ME?" All the anger that Harry had kept bottled up all summer came out.
All summer Harry had kept quiet as everybody told him what to do, what to eat, how to dress, and even when and how to sleep, and he was sick of it. He was sick of turning around and seeing Hermione give him pitying looks. He now wished he hadn't told Ron and Hermione the prophecy. At least this way they wouldn't feel sorry for him.
"Harry, please calm down. It isn't Hermione's fault that they are controlling you. They are adults and most of them know what's best."
"You know what? I don't give a shit what they know because they don't know what's best for ME. For ME Ginny? Not the Order, not the whole fucked up world but ME. I am the only person who knows what's best for me."
"Yeah? And what about Sirius? Didn't you used to say he always knew what was best for you?" Hermione said just as Harry reached the door. Harry turned around, his eyes full of sadness.
"You've always disliked Sirius haven't you? Too much of a troublemaker for you, wasn't he? He knew what was best for me because that's what I thought was best for me as well. If he told me to worship Voldemort's feet I wouldn't exactly do it. I took Sirius' advice because I liked it, not because he told me it was best for me. Hermione, always get you FAQ's right before you say anything, O.K.?" He turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him, causing some excess dust to jump into the air.
The tears had been wept and cleaned up, but Siobhan still was slightly on the moody side since she waited five minutes (or so it seemed) before answering you, and used very short and concise sentences. At the moment Siobhan lay stretched across the sofa her head on Severus' lap simply staring into space. Severus was playing with her hair, twisting it that way and that.
"Siobhan?" he asked twirling her hair one his finger.
"What?" she replied lazily, obviously tired out.
"How did you know I was a Death Eater? Not a pure one as you say it"
"The McKay's are all endowed so I obviously used a gift. I can sense this kind of things. If I concentrate hard can read people's mind, though they can't read mine. Occlumensy, I think. And Plus, when you answered the door wearing your vest and boxers, I caught a glimpse of it."
"Aren't you a bit too young to be a Legilimens and Occlumens?
"Not if you're born with it. It just takes awhile to fully develop and become as powerful as Dumbledore's."
"You said you used a gift, not the gift. Do you have anymore gifts I should know about? Just for your safety and the safety of others."
"Well. I do have this weird gift. It allows me to sort of take objects from one place and get them to me." Severus wore a confused look on his face. "Look, I'll show you, no-brainer."
A mysterious blue light appeared around Siobhan's body, getting slightly brighter, she held out her palm, and when she blinked, a photograph of her mother appeared in her hand. Again she blinked and the photo disappeared. The blue light faded away, and she relaxed her tense body.
"Wow, anymore? Or can you only have a few?"
"I don't know. Mum had this gift and was able to move things with here mind. She was also an illegal Animagi."
"She turned into a fox didn't she? Bright red like her hair, with a little crescent moon on her forehead."
"Yeah, that's exactly how she looked like when she transformed. She never told me the reason though. Told me it had something to do with the full moon. Never understood what she meant."
"Nor did I. Why don't you go to sleep? You seemed tired out, and that can be expected from a girl who's lost as much blood and energy as you."
"Fine but you've got to give me that Dreamless Sleep potion, otherwise I'll never get to sleep. But before I go you've got to promise me something."
"Sure if it's in my reach."
"Promise me you'll never ever hurt me. Promise me you'll always be there when I need you. Promise be you'll be a father to me." Siobhan shifted and looked Severus in the eye, which meant he couldn't lie.
"I promise, I'll try. I would never hurt you, and I'll always be there for you. I love you Siobhan, you're my daughter."
"Yeah, and I guess, I love you........ Dad." She yawned and closed her eyes falling asleep immediately. This meant she was going to have dreams, whether bad or good. Severus lifted her up in his arms and carried her to her room, where he laid her down gently on her bed.
He stood back and watched her sleep, her breathing even and light. How she looked like Gwendolyn. He had to make sure nothing happened to her, to make sure she stayed alive. This was his way of making up for Gwendolyn's death- become a slightly overprotective father.
There was a knock at the bedroom's door, and Harry ignored it. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He wanted to be alone, to think, to mourn. There hadn't been a funeral. Dumbledore had thought it was best to keep the fact that Sirius was dead quiet. Of course, Peter Pettigrew had been caught amongst the Death Eaters caught in the Department of Mysteries. This had proven Sirius' innocence and his name cleared. Dumbledore had simply told Fudge that Sirius' whereabouts where unknown.
The person knocked again but much louder this time. Harry still ignored it. Maybe if he didn't say anything they might go away. "Harry?" the person said knocking on the door. The person stuck their head round the door. It was Professor Lupin.
"What do you won't? I swear a few hours ago you were mentally unstable," Harry said, not bothering to move from his position on his bed.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that," Lupin said settling on the bed opposite Harry's.
"What's there to talk about. You can't handle the stress and you broke down. It happens."
"Still I just wanted to tell you that I'm back and it won't happen again. I'd just received some shocking news, and on top of what happened I couldn't handle it. This goes to show you're much stronger than I am, Harry."
"That was everyone keeps telling me. Are you going to explain what gibberish you were talking about or are you going to say it's best I didn't know."
"Like I said back then. He'll kill me if I tell you. Unless you really want me dead, it's best I didn't tell you."
"Who is this person you keep saying is going to kill you? If you won't tell me that, at least tell me who did you love?"
"My wife. I got married a week before your dad did. He was best man. She died 2 weeks later."
"I'm sorry. Did you have any children?"
"No. She was pregnant, though. I was going to call her Vanessa if it was a girl, and Max if it was a boy. Never got the chance."
"What was her name?" Before Lupin could answer Neville ran in, panting heavily.
"Professor... Lupin.... Mrs. Weasley.... told...me to tell you.... that it's.... time for the... meeting... with... Professor...Snape," he said leaning on the door to catch his breath.
"Thank you, Neville. Harry, I'll talk to you later. Good day." He got up from the bed and swept out of the door.
Neville and Luna were both staying here because of the incident in the Department of Mysteries, although Neville had spent one week with his gran. Neville now sat on his bed next to Ron's, flicking through an photo album.
"Hey Neville, what's that?" Harry asked going to join his round-faced friend.
"Photo album. My aunt died and her funeral was that week I wasn't here. Nan gave me this photo album to make sure I remember her." They both surveyed the photo album. There was a picture of people who he recognised as Frank and Alice Longbottom, and a woman with bright red hair standing between them.
"Who's that?" Harry asked pointing to the red headed woman, who waved.
"That's the aunt who died. Aunt Gwen. And that's her daughter, Siobhan." He pointed to a girl with raven black hair and intense black eyes in another picture. She was standing with Neville who was blushing lightly. Siobhan was grinning and waving, two dimples under each cheek.
"Where's her daughter now?"
"With her father, though I have no idea who he is. Never met him in my life."
Siobhan looked familiar to Harry but he didn't know where he had seen her. She looked like her mother apart from the black hair and eyes. She resembled someone else but he didn't know who. Someone with black hair and eyes.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the characters, setting and scenes you might have seen in the wonderful books of J. K. Rowling. I do however own Siobhan. And the plot.
Chapter 3 – The truth revealed
Siobhan sat on the sofa, her knees tucked underneath her arms staring into the fireplace. The fire was not lit since it was mid-August and there was no need for it to be lit. Severus Snape sat there, dark bags under his eyes from not sleeping at all for the past week. Not only was the memory of Gwendolyn haunting him as he had sat by Siobhan's side when she was unconscious, but his left arm had been burning furiously every time the Voldemort called for him. Severus knew he would have to eventually face the Dark Lord's wrath, but hoped it wouldn't be soon since he had spent the past 18 years or so as a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, and Voldemort would be furious if he ever found out.
He snapped out of his thoughts, blinking once or twice to focus better, and found that Siobhan was staring at him with a look on her face that he could not quite decipher. Her black eyes looked at him intensely and for the first time noticed that they were rimmed with red. Red eyes- the colour of Voldemort's eyes.
"What is it? Do you seriously want me to shave that badly?" he asked her slightly amused. It was true he now resembled Sirius Black as he had done three years ago, when Severus had threatened to kill him.
"No, it's not that, although you could use a good shave. Its just......." she replied not quite finishing her sentence. She looked at him more intensely, her eyes narrowing, a frown of frustration appearing across her forehead and then spoke. "There is an evil presence surrounding you, and it runs through your veins, but you, or your soul, is warm, loving and protective."
"What do you mean?" Severus frowned in frustration as well, and waited for an answer.
"A Death Eater is suppose, but not a pure one." She closed her eyes if that last sentence had tired her out, and her shoulders shook slightly as shiver sped up her back.
"H-how did you know that, if I may ask? Unless, unless your mother told you." Siobhan shook her head.
"My mother never told me anything of the sort. All she told me was that my father was out there somewhere and that he would come back someday, and yet, he didn't." She paused and she laughed bitterly as a memory came back to her. "After awhile I guess she went sort of mental, you might say. Every Sunday morning, at dawn, she used to go out to the gates of our house and wait to see if you were coming. When I turned thirteen she stopped, but kept reassuring me that he would come back one day."
"Honestly, I didn't know. I... I... I..." He couldn't finish the sentence but simply choked. He got up and sat next to her resting his hand on her shoulder. She shrugged him off and wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.
"Oh, please, save me all that shit. You left my mother full stop. Until her dying day she still blamed herself, she never blamed you. You were always "the perfect person, a true saint'."
"Siobhan, please listen. I'll explain. Just-" Siobhan swung her head to look him in the eye, her eyes wide in anger, cold in bitterness and cut him off.
"Explain WHAT exactly? Explain why you fucked my mum and then when you felt like you were bored of her got up and left or explain why you never came back? I told you I don't need some long explanation full off bullshit. Actually, you were right. Maybe I am better off in a home."
Severus didn't know what to say. What was he meant to say? Maybe it was true. Maybe he had used her because he was bored and she was the only thing that interested him. Siobhan stood up to go to her room, but Severus grabbed onto her hand and pulled her back down.
"You are going to sit down and listen to me good. This is going to be short and correct. You may not believe a single word of it but listen anyway." Siobhan tried to pull away but Severus' grip remained firm.
"Let go off me you grease ball ! You can't make me listen your not my-"
"Father? I think you'll find I am." He raised an eyebrow an amused look on his face and Siobhan stopped struggling. "I loved your mother, I left her for her protection. If I had stayed with her, she would have died at a much earlier age. As for you- I never knew you existed."
"Really? I bet I'm the reason you left. Couldn't handle a bawling baby that turns into an irritating kid, that also turns into a grumpy teenager? I've met men like you and they make me sick!" She spat in his face and Severus simply wiped it off, and continued talking.
"Don't be so childish. I left your mother way before you were born. If I'm not mistaken you were born August the first 1980. I left your mother December 1979. Exactly nine months before your birth."
"But why? Why didn't you tell her why? You left her mentally ill."
"The Dark Lord would have killed her if he found out that I actually loved her. A woman who was not a Death Eater or had once been a Slytherin was not acceptable."
"Yeah, but he killed her anyway. Maybe not because of you but he killed her anyway. And you weren't there to protect her. To protect me."
Tears fell down her cheeks as the realisation that she was now alone in the world sank in. That she was the last of the McKay clan. That her father didn't love her, and her godfather... well she had lost contact three years ago.
"I do love you. You're my child as much as you were Gwendolyn's and I would never turn my back on you. Not after I turned my back on her as well."
"How can I be sure? How can I be sure you won't up and leave? How can I be sure you won't hurt me?" Severus squeezed her hand, but she pulled away as if his touch burnt.
"Why would I hurt you? Siobhan please trust me. I'm begging you, please understand. You are the daughter I never knew existed and I love you already. If I didn't love you don't you think I'd have left you five days ago to bleed to death? Don't you think I'd let you starve yourself and not bother making you drink that nasty Blood- Replenishing potion? I love you, even if you are like a total stranger to me."
"You're the father I never met. I can't say I love you but I trust you with all my heart, for some strange reason. Though I can't say I like your hair." She laughed and picked up a strand of his greasy hair.
"Well, I love you. Everything from your rancid temper to your stubbornness." He smiled, which was a rare thing for him to do, and squeezed her hand. This time Siobhan did not pull away. Instead she turned and gave Severus an earned hug from his daughter.
Miles away, Harry Potter was sitting in the bedroom that he and Ron shared at 12 Grimmauld Place polishing his Firebolt, that Dumbledore had sent to him on the first day of summer, in hope of raising his spirit slightly, after all he had suffered a tremendous loss. Even his broom could not take his mind of what had happened. Sirius was dead and it was partly his fault. He mostly blamed Snape and Dumbledore, but then again, he too was to blame. If he had not been so stupid as to think Voldemort had been able to get hold of Sirius then he might still be alive.
Shrieks were coming from downstairs, and Harry knew it was no other that Mrs. Black's portrait. He went to see who had woken her up, and found it was Nympahdora Tonks, a clumsy young Auror with the ability to change her looks. Remus Lupin and Charlie Weasley were frantically trying close the curtains in front of the portrait, finally succeed after what seemed like ages. Harry was glad Snape was not here since he always seemed to remind Harry that Sirius was dead, and Harry always seemed to end up lashing out at the git. However, Harry had seen less of him last week, which was a relief, except for a day when he had 'accidentally' overheard Snape and Mrs. Weasley talking.
-Flashback-
"Oh, Severus I'm so sorry. I never thought you still cared about her," Mrs. Weasley had said pulling Snape into an uncomfortable looking hug.
"Thank you, Molly, but I'll get over it. Right now the young one is in hospital slipping in and out of consciousness. She rather weak, even though yesterday she was fine. Throwing flasks of potions around the room, if I remember correctly," he replied pulling out of the hug.
"Are you going to tell anyone else apart from the Order?"
"No, the Dark Lord would use her as a weapon. With her gifts he could do things that you cannot possibly imagine. Plus his blood runs through her veins, since it runs through mine." Molly Weasley gasped and took a step back, as if Severus would suddenly turn into Voldemort. "Molly, don't be alarmed. He is my great uncle, nothing closer."
"Well, that's a relief. For one moment I thought you were his son or something." But she stilled looked uneasy, as if wondering whether to trust him after all.
"I'd kill myself if I were. I must now leave you and return to St. Mungo's. She might be awake, and if I'm not there she might kill one of the nurses."
-End of flashback-
Right now, Lupin was helping Tonks on her feet, and it took awhile for either of the three to notice him.
"Uh, hello Harry," Lupin said trying to sound cheerful. "How are you?"
"The same as I was when you asked me that question this morning. I'm alright, could be better, but I'm alright," Harry replied, putting his hands in his pockets. "And you?"
"Fine, absolutely fine, just dandy. Why shouldn't it be? Everything's just dandy." Harry raised an eyebrow is surprise. Never had he seen Lupin so hysterical. Maybe he had a lot on his plate, being a werewolf, losing another Marauder and becoming a teacher again.
"Remus, are you O.K.?" Tonks asked shaking him slightly. "You look sort of ill."
"Me? I'm fine, just dandy. Nothing to worry about. Now I've got to go teach, and be shut out of her life again. Hey, nobody cares about a werewolf. Too dangerous for a sweet girl like her. Ha! he's more dangerous more like it. Now she's dead, now they're all dead, except her."
"Who's dead? Who's dangerous? Professor Lupin are you O.K.?" Lupin laughed manically, and Harry stepped back in disgust. If Harry didn't know better he'd say he was facing a madman.
"You don't know? The great Harry Potter doesn't know? Well I'll tell you. He's a bastard, she a nice woman, never loved me though. Loved the other nasty man. I loved her but she's dead now. How could I be so stupid?" He sunk to his knees and started crying. Charlie went to his side and tried to pull him up.
"Come on, that's a good boy. Up the stairs, to your room. No use hanging round here," Charlie said, as if he was talking to a little toddler, desperately trying to get him up.
"Why? I'll just have to come down again. Maybe she'll come at Hogwarts, maybe she'll like me more than her daddy. I'm nicer than her daddy, ain't I, Charlie?"
"Yes, you are. Now come on or Harry will hear."
"Harry will hear? Harry will hear? Now that mustn't happen, now. He'd kill me. Never see her again, will I? He's a bastard, isn't he Charlie?"
"Yes, he is, now COME on." With one final tug he managed to get Lupin on his feet.
"Professor who's a bastard? What are you talking about?"
"Not allowed to tell potty Potter. Too young. Doesn't know Occlumensy. Voldy- thingy might try to kill her if he found out."
"Harry I think you'd better go and tell Mrs. Weasley that Remus might be having a nervous breakdown," Tonks said stepping out from the stairs where he had been observing the situation.
"Not if you don't tell me what's going on? Who is dead? Who will kill him if he tells? Tell me!" Harry's temper was rising again. He hated secrets since they always ended up hurting him.
"Harry, this is important. Go and tell Mrs. Weasley and we shall discuss this after Remus is back to normal."
"But-"
"No buts, Harry. Just go. Now!"
Harry turned and thumped towards the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley was busy teaching the girl's how to polish a table without the use of your wand- the Gilderoy Lockhart way, who Mrs. Weasley was still a fan of despite his memory loss. Harry coughed loudly to interrupt the chatter, and Mrs. Weasley looked at him slightly concerned.
"What is it, dear? Is something the matter?" she asked putting down the book she was holding.
"Nothing's wrong with me. It's Professor Lupin. He's gone absolutely mental. Tonks called it a nervous breakdown," he told Mrs. Weasley who's eyes widened. "Insanity more like it."
"Where is he? Is he done any damage to himself?"
"No, he's just talking about stuff that don't make sense and crying. Charlie's trying to get him up the stairs and Tonks is just standing there observing. He's near the stairs."
"Thank you Harry. Now stay here. What he might have been saying is nothing to do with you. He's been through a lot. Just a bit more than you have, and the latest news he's gotten has finally cracked him. When he recovers I don't want you talking about it. You can tell those you trust but no-one else." At that she turned and left the kitchen leaving him with the three girls, who were gaping at him, slightly shocked by what he had just told Mrs. Weasley.
"Wow. Professor Lupin gone insane. Didn't seem like the type of guy who would," Luna Lovegood said, breaking the silence. She was staying over after the events in the Department of Mysteries, since it was not safe for her.
"Do you think he'll still teach? I mean, after a nervous breakdown you can't possibly teach properly," Hermione whispered possibly still in shock that Lupin had gone mental.
"Of course he'll still teach. There's absolutely nothing to worry about, Hermione. Isn't that right, Harry?" Ginny Weasley said reassuringly, turning to Harry for support.
"Yeah, sure. Of course he'll be alright." Harry didn't look Hermione in the eye, because he himself wasn't sure. "I'll go and see if he's alright."
"No, Harry. Mrs. Weasley told you to stay, and she knows what's best for you."
"WHY IS IT THAT EVERYBODY ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR ME, HUH? WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE HAS CONTROL OVER MY LIFE EXCEPT ME?" All the anger that Harry had kept bottled up all summer came out.
All summer Harry had kept quiet as everybody told him what to do, what to eat, how to dress, and even when and how to sleep, and he was sick of it. He was sick of turning around and seeing Hermione give him pitying looks. He now wished he hadn't told Ron and Hermione the prophecy. At least this way they wouldn't feel sorry for him.
"Harry, please calm down. It isn't Hermione's fault that they are controlling you. They are adults and most of them know what's best."
"You know what? I don't give a shit what they know because they don't know what's best for ME. For ME Ginny? Not the Order, not the whole fucked up world but ME. I am the only person who knows what's best for me."
"Yeah? And what about Sirius? Didn't you used to say he always knew what was best for you?" Hermione said just as Harry reached the door. Harry turned around, his eyes full of sadness.
"You've always disliked Sirius haven't you? Too much of a troublemaker for you, wasn't he? He knew what was best for me because that's what I thought was best for me as well. If he told me to worship Voldemort's feet I wouldn't exactly do it. I took Sirius' advice because I liked it, not because he told me it was best for me. Hermione, always get you FAQ's right before you say anything, O.K.?" He turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him, causing some excess dust to jump into the air.
The tears had been wept and cleaned up, but Siobhan still was slightly on the moody side since she waited five minutes (or so it seemed) before answering you, and used very short and concise sentences. At the moment Siobhan lay stretched across the sofa her head on Severus' lap simply staring into space. Severus was playing with her hair, twisting it that way and that.
"Siobhan?" he asked twirling her hair one his finger.
"What?" she replied lazily, obviously tired out.
"How did you know I was a Death Eater? Not a pure one as you say it"
"The McKay's are all endowed so I obviously used a gift. I can sense this kind of things. If I concentrate hard can read people's mind, though they can't read mine. Occlumensy, I think. And Plus, when you answered the door wearing your vest and boxers, I caught a glimpse of it."
"Aren't you a bit too young to be a Legilimens and Occlumens?
"Not if you're born with it. It just takes awhile to fully develop and become as powerful as Dumbledore's."
"You said you used a gift, not the gift. Do you have anymore gifts I should know about? Just for your safety and the safety of others."
"Well. I do have this weird gift. It allows me to sort of take objects from one place and get them to me." Severus wore a confused look on his face. "Look, I'll show you, no-brainer."
A mysterious blue light appeared around Siobhan's body, getting slightly brighter, she held out her palm, and when she blinked, a photograph of her mother appeared in her hand. Again she blinked and the photo disappeared. The blue light faded away, and she relaxed her tense body.
"Wow, anymore? Or can you only have a few?"
"I don't know. Mum had this gift and was able to move things with here mind. She was also an illegal Animagi."
"She turned into a fox didn't she? Bright red like her hair, with a little crescent moon on her forehead."
"Yeah, that's exactly how she looked like when she transformed. She never told me the reason though. Told me it had something to do with the full moon. Never understood what she meant."
"Nor did I. Why don't you go to sleep? You seemed tired out, and that can be expected from a girl who's lost as much blood and energy as you."
"Fine but you've got to give me that Dreamless Sleep potion, otherwise I'll never get to sleep. But before I go you've got to promise me something."
"Sure if it's in my reach."
"Promise me you'll never ever hurt me. Promise me you'll always be there when I need you. Promise be you'll be a father to me." Siobhan shifted and looked Severus in the eye, which meant he couldn't lie.
"I promise, I'll try. I would never hurt you, and I'll always be there for you. I love you Siobhan, you're my daughter."
"Yeah, and I guess, I love you........ Dad." She yawned and closed her eyes falling asleep immediately. This meant she was going to have dreams, whether bad or good. Severus lifted her up in his arms and carried her to her room, where he laid her down gently on her bed.
He stood back and watched her sleep, her breathing even and light. How she looked like Gwendolyn. He had to make sure nothing happened to her, to make sure she stayed alive. This was his way of making up for Gwendolyn's death- become a slightly overprotective father.
There was a knock at the bedroom's door, and Harry ignored it. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He wanted to be alone, to think, to mourn. There hadn't been a funeral. Dumbledore had thought it was best to keep the fact that Sirius was dead quiet. Of course, Peter Pettigrew had been caught amongst the Death Eaters caught in the Department of Mysteries. This had proven Sirius' innocence and his name cleared. Dumbledore had simply told Fudge that Sirius' whereabouts where unknown.
The person knocked again but much louder this time. Harry still ignored it. Maybe if he didn't say anything they might go away. "Harry?" the person said knocking on the door. The person stuck their head round the door. It was Professor Lupin.
"What do you won't? I swear a few hours ago you were mentally unstable," Harry said, not bothering to move from his position on his bed.
"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that," Lupin said settling on the bed opposite Harry's.
"What's there to talk about. You can't handle the stress and you broke down. It happens."
"Still I just wanted to tell you that I'm back and it won't happen again. I'd just received some shocking news, and on top of what happened I couldn't handle it. This goes to show you're much stronger than I am, Harry."
"That was everyone keeps telling me. Are you going to explain what gibberish you were talking about or are you going to say it's best I didn't know."
"Like I said back then. He'll kill me if I tell you. Unless you really want me dead, it's best I didn't tell you."
"Who is this person you keep saying is going to kill you? If you won't tell me that, at least tell me who did you love?"
"My wife. I got married a week before your dad did. He was best man. She died 2 weeks later."
"I'm sorry. Did you have any children?"
"No. She was pregnant, though. I was going to call her Vanessa if it was a girl, and Max if it was a boy. Never got the chance."
"What was her name?" Before Lupin could answer Neville ran in, panting heavily.
"Professor... Lupin.... Mrs. Weasley.... told...me to tell you.... that it's.... time for the... meeting... with... Professor...Snape," he said leaning on the door to catch his breath.
"Thank you, Neville. Harry, I'll talk to you later. Good day." He got up from the bed and swept out of the door.
Neville and Luna were both staying here because of the incident in the Department of Mysteries, although Neville had spent one week with his gran. Neville now sat on his bed next to Ron's, flicking through an photo album.
"Hey Neville, what's that?" Harry asked going to join his round-faced friend.
"Photo album. My aunt died and her funeral was that week I wasn't here. Nan gave me this photo album to make sure I remember her." They both surveyed the photo album. There was a picture of people who he recognised as Frank and Alice Longbottom, and a woman with bright red hair standing between them.
"Who's that?" Harry asked pointing to the red headed woman, who waved.
"That's the aunt who died. Aunt Gwen. And that's her daughter, Siobhan." He pointed to a girl with raven black hair and intense black eyes in another picture. She was standing with Neville who was blushing lightly. Siobhan was grinning and waving, two dimples under each cheek.
"Where's her daughter now?"
"With her father, though I have no idea who he is. Never met him in my life."
Siobhan looked familiar to Harry but he didn't know where he had seen her. She looked like her mother apart from the black hair and eyes. She resembled someone else but he didn't know who. Someone with black hair and eyes.