Dreaming is Woe

by Rose Wilson

Near Christmas Eve. Robin experiences strange and personal memories and thoughts about another dark member of the team when he dreams. However, when he digs deeper into the truth of these dreams, he discovers something shocking. RobRae. Slightly AU.

3. Someone to Love

PhallenPhoenix: Thanks for your comments and criticism. Yours was the first extended C&C that I received and they really helped motivate me to continue this monster; I would have probably given up.

Darkmoon: Thanks for your help with the scene at the end. I used some of your ideas.

ChocolateCurlz: And finally, a huge shout out to fellow R/R fanatic on the Forbidden Love board. Thanks for commenting on the non-squishy parts. I liked writing the Starfire and Beast Boy scenes myself.

Okay, and now for the disclaimer.

1) References are made to Robin (Tim Drake's) personal history. I know the cartoon Robin is supposed to be Dick Grayson but I'm using the weasel room. I'm more familiar with Tim's character. So nyeh. Anyway, if you had trouble understanding the context of the scenes, e-mail me and I'll explain.

2) Slade stuff again. He's just as much of a jerk as before but it's not as explicit this time. But I made up for it in the end. No sex, just heavy petting.

3) I'm sorry if it seems like I'm under utilizing the other characters! That's really hard to do in a romance without ruining the mood. I tried to make the dialogue extra-funny when it didn't focus on Robin and Raven.

4) If you didn't get enough Robin/Raven shippiness, come on down to Forbidden Love! Message board devoted to this couple. Be warned, this board gets very angsty about the two. But then again, that's the attraction of the couple, right?

5) Again, the M is almost exclusively for sexual content. There is some (cartoony) violence and some lewd words but I want to get as much naughty material in as possible without breaking the rating. I'm not writing an out-and-out hentai fanfic and I really have no intention to. The end is about as explicit as it's going to get. Feel free to use your imagination.

Anyway.

OOO

Chapter 3: Someone to Love

Robin jolted awake like people suffering from nightmares do, though his body felt too numb to get more movement than a feeble twist. His mouth was watery and his throat was dry. He looked at the alarm clock as he tried to rally energy. 5:26 AM. The nausea and exhaustion told him that forcing himself out of sleep was a bad idea, but Robin couldn't ignore it. He slipped into a fresh uniform without showering and jogged down the hall, heading for Raven's room.

She was already there, though, leaning against the doorframe. Her hair and leotard were soaked with sweat and she no doubt felt even worse than him. She didn't even know Robin was there until he was directly in front of her. She had a horrified, shamed look on her face and immediately averted her eyes.

Robin found a lump in his throat. He had no idea how to talk about this. "Raven."

It proved unnecessary. "Robin, I've been lying to you." She sighed miserably. "There is a dream bond."

"I didn't mean to force this. I understand why you didn't want to talk about it, given what goes on over the bond." Robin said, his meaning intentionally vague.

"I've been reading into your thoughts for the last two weeks. I should have told you earlier, but I..."

"That's... okay." There was then a flicker of anger in Robin's voice. "Has Slade been contacting you in your sleep?"

"No. 'Slade' is a manifestation of my thoughts and fears." Raven said. She still had not looked at him, which made Robin suspicious.

"Raven, I felt what you were feeling. If there's any doubt in your mind that this isn't... more than you say, then please tell me." Robin said it in such a way to that he wasn't going to push it any further. He was going to accept her explanation at face value.

Raven was silent for a few moments. She looked directly into Robin's eyes. Raven was always struck by how Robin, more than any other person she had known, was always willing to face unpleasant truths without panicking or getting angry or not treating it seriously. It was one of sole reasons she stayed with the Titans at first, but as she got to know him better became one of many. This was always true... except when it came to Slade. Her leader was still waiting for an answer.

"Listen. Believe me when I say that there is nothing like that going on. If Slade was really there, in my mind... then why would he let you see what you saw?" There was a lowering, almost choked inflection in her voice, which Robin struggled to understand the meaning of. "Would he really let you see me in such a state?"

Her explanation made sense, Robin thought, but he felt uneasy accepting it. Not because there might have been something... oh no. Robin realized that he was actually glad for this. It gave him something to focus his emotions on other than the real truth: Raven had serious feelings for him. And he might have the same for her. It was plainly obvious from her dreams; she had imagined him, as the apprentice, frequenting her room for as long as a week and looking at his most important memories. He found himself confused but hopeful. Raven looked absolutely tired but for some reason she was still looking at him expectantly.

"Raven, do you have any control over these dreams? I can't feel or move in yours, but I can definitely think." Robin lead in. Better now than never.

"I don't control them. I, like you, feel when they're mine."

"Then why those dreams? They really mean sometime to you, I can tell. They did to me. But what do you really think about all this?"

She stopped her lip from quivering or from biting on it. Even with that mask, Robin looked so earnest, so guileless, that he almost looked innocent. She desperately wanted to tell him how she felt and almost did... when she remembered Slade's warning about getting closer to her teammates. Even Raven couldn't stop her amethyst eyes from showing defeat.

"It means that I'm losing control over my powers. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I've been becoming too close to the others and I should stop." Raven said, trying to make her voice unemotional. "You know what will happen if I don't." Though she was not lying at all, Robin looked so hurt that she may as well have been.

As if trying to deny what he heard from both Slade and his friend, Robin said, giving depth to each word, "What does that mean for the team? For us?"

"It means that I have to spend more time meditating and less time feeling." she said, bluntly.

Robin stepped closer towards her. He was upset by this, even though he and the other Titans had always had the unspoken dread that her new openness wouldn't last for long, like it did for Malchior. "Raven, I respect your privacy, you know I do, but I can't just let you do that. I don't care how bad it gets, asking us to just forget about you and leave you alone is wrong. Especially since these last dreams, where I have the feeling that-"

"That I liked you?" She finished. Robin nodded slowly. "I..." The issue was finally out in the open. But Raven knew that she wouldn't get the chance to be inevitably rejected. If she told him how she really felt and what was really going on, Robin would never back down. And that would put Robin in danger. Ironically, to protect him, she had to reject the person she had been thinking about for so long.

He placed his hand on her shoulder, his smile gentle and eternal. "Just tell me."

Raven moved away from his grasp, retreating back into her room. "Don't judge anything by the dreams. They're impulses, not real desires. What any teenage girl thinks of you. I don't truly feel that way about you, Robin. I just can't."

He looked stunned and then almost as quickly his face went blank. His voice was calm, making Raven hurt to see how quickly he appeared to drop the idea. "I see what you mean. Don't look into it. Well, you want to go to the Christmas party?"

Just like Robin, her demeanor became impassive and cordial. She found it curiously easy now to conceal her feelings now that she said that. "No. I need to meditate and get some sleep. Away from the link."

He shrugged and looked as though he was about to walk off. "Well, enjoy yourself. We'll be back late in the evening."

"You and Starfire have fun." She said, watching him go down the hallway back to his room.

OOO

They left at the earliest possible time, at Starfire's insistence. Beast Boy and Cyborg, late risers, barely even had time to get breakfast and get dressed. But Star was up even earlier than Robin and Raven, getting prepared. She really looked more like she was going to a prom then a semi-formal party; she wore a dress similar in design to what she wore at that disastrous date with Kitten, only a heart was cut out over the front of the dress. As usual, the boys, even Robin, couldn't help but sneak peeks at how beautiful she, as always, looked. Of course, when she discovered that Cyborg was going to go as he was (without clothes) and Beast Boy planned to wear his normal ratty uniform, she sent both of them back to get more suitable attire.

So all of the boys were dressed nicely. Beast Boy borrowed an old suit of Robin's and managed to get it wrinkled on the car trip over, Robin was wearing a polo shirt and a pair of dark slacks and Cyborg was somehow able to convince Starfire that he just really needed a pair of grey trousers. Since Raven wasn't sitting up front, Beast Boy had weaseled his way in the front. Leaving Robin and the Tameranian alone in the back seat.

She seemed much more flirty than usual. Twice she complimented him on how he looked and took every chance to touch or get near him, even opening the door for him. Which felt awkward. Robin's old girlfriends, Ariana and Stephanie, used to do the same for him. They were popping up more and more today in his thoughts today than usual and instead of just repressing it, Robin tried to draw on his own experience how to handle this.

Both of them approached him with the same sort of determination as Starfire, though she was much more demure about it. No wonder why it seemed that getting into a relationship was easier with them: they did nearly all of the work in the first stages. While he wasn't a lazy or neglectful boyfriend, not by a long shot, he was also painfully shy about the opposite sex when it came to regarding them more than teammates. Everyone thought that since he was Robin and that a lot of girls were after him, then he must be some sort of Don Juan.

Maybe that's why he had a really hard time talking to Raven. He felt and wanted to be closer to her, but she was hard to talk to about something trivial, let alone something deeper. While he had been shocked by her words this morning, Robin hadn't given up the vague and unrealistic desire to get closer to her. It didn't have to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Starfire wanted them to have that sort of relationship and was rather forceful about it.

And Starfire was also the perfect girlfriend. Smart, sweet, attractive, loyal, energetic, and hopelessly attracted to him. Robin sometimes hated himself for that fact that he could probably never feel as intensely for her as she did him. Shyness and perfectionism go really poorly together, Robin thought as they pulled up into the Titan East's garage.

Robin couldn't help comparing decorations as they got out. They definitely did not skimp. Even the stairwell had a few lights on the walls. Starfire saw the look on his face and assured him that this was only because they had Mas y Menos do most of the work. Speedy came out to greet them, dressed exactly like Robin was.

"What, did you two call each other last night?" Beast Boy snickered as the two non-powered Titans cast each other a casing look. Which were then turned to the green kid and had become glares.

"Welcome to the party. Wildebeest and Hotspot are already here. Why do all of you guys gotta be so early?" Speedy was still ticked at having to start (and wake up for) a party at 10 o' clock. Cyborg made an aside to Star and commented that he was the most likely one to sleep past noon.

He led them upstairs, to the lounge area. Beast Boy and Cy immediately made a beeline towards the tables with candy and snacks on them, filling up their paper plates and then going to talk to Wildebeest. Starfire was hovering around Robin while trying to make it look like she wasn't, but the effect was hard to maintain. Mas y Menos were constantly pestering her with small Christmas gifts, openly flirting with her as she tried to turn it down. This gave Robin some unexpected free time, so he went to the tree. Aqualad was there, arranging the presents in piles for the Titans West. Robin felt a little silly that his team were the only ones dressed up, as everyone else still seemed to be in costume.

"Hey, Robin. What do you think of the tree we decorated?" Aqualad asked, without turning around.

"¡Qué¡Hicimos la mayoría del trabajo!" Mas shouted, taking a small pause from pestering Starfire. He then thrust the teddy bear he was holding back towards her.

"Él es más perezoso que Speedy." Menos added, conspirationally but loud enough for the other Titan to hear. He looked offended.

"I was the one who put out the fire you set to the first Christmas Tree with your cheap Guetamalan halogen lights. So don't-"

Robin chuckled. "This is really nice." It was, but now that the twins pointed it out most of the decorations seemed to be near the base. It was a good tree, but it had nowhere near as much character as the one back at his tower. He thought about Raven, left at the tower by herself, and felt disappointed that she couldn't come. Robin was never really a party person in the first place; even if Kitten wasn't that obnoxious and the prom wasn't thrashed, he'd have wanted to leave it in the first place.

Still, it was nice to see the Steel City Titans again. He wanted to trade notes with Speedy and get a better look into what Cyborg did during his tenure as leader. As far as one could tell he did a better job here than even Robin could; Titans East used to be a joke among superhero communities. No wonder why Cyborg got angry after being told to come back home. But parties just didn't feel the same without her...

"Hey, Robin." Aqualad said, waving a hand in front of his face. "You're really spacing out. Are you okay?"

"Just thinking. This Christmas has just... not been what I've expecting."

Aqualad glanced sideways towards Starfire, who had broken away from the twins only to be cornered and flirted with Speedy by the couch. Though she wasn't interested, she was taking his overtures more good naturedly than with Mas y Menos. "What do you mean?"

Robin shrugged and glanced towards the snack table. Beast Boy had said something wrong and was hastily backing away from an angry-looking Wildebeest. "Just have this feeling of unrest."

"Criminals?"

Robin's eyebrows narrowed a little bit. Slade, as always, had been on the back of his mind but as for the other villains they had been especially quiet. The Jump City police were getting a lot more efficient at stopping criminals since they had a new commissioner and a budget increase, so that meant more free time for the Titans. "Not really."

"I can't imagine you getting worked up about something else. Except for maybe your team members." He glanced towards Starfire and Speedy again, both of whom were laughing at a joke of his. His coal black eyes glittered. "Maybe a team member?"

Robin was immediately put on the defensive. He knew where this was going. "It's not that at all." He didn't mention Star by name, since everyone knew that if a teen denied liking someone attractive, that meant that they in fact did.

Aqualad shrugged. "If you say so. Enjoy the party." Robin thought that was that. He didn't see the Atlantean go to Bumblebee and whisper something to her. She smiled slyly and went to her room, then came back with a stereo.

OOO

It didn't take long for Bumblebee to set up the music. Frank Sinatra and other Christmastime singers crooned over the speaker system Cyborg installed and the lights were dimmed. Since Robin and Starfire were the only ones close to a couple, they had gotten the most attention from the males. Robin had danced with her to a more jazzier song, relieved it wasn't a slow dance. Hotspot was singing along to the lyrics--rather than being intrusive and annoying, he was actually very good. With the grey sky, the candles, and the soft music it felt like a fancy party. After the song, Robin went to the group Aqualad and Cyborg were with and enjoyed some punch.

Bumblebee, being the only other woman, was also being asked to danced. She pointedly ignored Cyborg and went straight for Beast Boy, holding out her hand. Beast Boy was surprised at her forwardness but still went with her, being led along to a slow song. After awhile, he got the hang of it and was leading her, even cracking a few quick jokes at his dancing skill. She smiled wryly at him but didn't say anything.

"Turned down in favor of Beast Boy." Cyborg commented, taking a long drink of punch. He didn't notice that no one was drinking from the same bowl he was. "What did I do to deserve that, I will never know." He didn't seem all that upset, however.

Robin didn't hide the amusement at this. "How come she's treating you so coldly?

Speedy shrugged. "She's still jealous of him. She was the leader before he came by, back when we weren't in good shape. Cyborg comes in, fixes up the Tower in record time, and single-handedly pulls her and her team's butts out of the frying pan. Right after she applied an unholy beatdown to him two weeks earlier."

"Yo, she didn't beat me all that bad." grumbled Cyborg.

Robin chuckled at that. "That's why she's cross, huh? That's sort of why I didn't want you to go. If something happened to me I'm sure the team would do just as good with you in charge."

"Thanks, man."

Robin looked into his cup wistfully. "You'll probably even surpass me."

Cyborg raised his one eyebrow. "Don't get all mushy on me now, man. Save it for the dance."

"Yeah, about that. Is it my imagination or is Starfire about to ask Aqualad to this next slow, romantic song?" Speedy leaned right into Robin's view and was pointing a finger towards the two. She held out her and Aqualad, like a gentleman, took it gracefully and led her towards the middle of the room.

"She's just trying to make me jealous. Besides, what girl doesn't want to dance with him, anyway?"

"Huh. If you say so." Speedy said. He and Cyborg exchanged looks. They didn't know that even if Robin did want to dance with her, he disliked public displays like that; he only felt comfortable dancing in private or when no one was there, such as when a prom was crashed by insect people.

"You know, I really don't know how come he isn't just surrounded by hordes of girls. His power has a lot of cute potential and he's pretty fun to be around." Cyborg brought up, sensing the awkwardness.

"Cute potential? Who thinks that green animals are cute? Maybe if they were pink." Speedy muttered. Robin didn't say anything. He suspected the real reason Beast Boy didn't pursue girls all that much was because Terra's death still left a large hole in his heart. Neither brought it up directly, but he could tell. He didn't like stopping by his and Terra's favorite ice cream stand anymore, never went by her old room, and after the fight with the tattooed Slade became sullen for a couple of days.

"Well, but still-" Cyborg suddenly choked on his drink and then inspected it. "Is that green fur! Oh, man! Gross! I take back everything I said. He's never going to get any!"

"Oh, yeah. I dared Beast Boy to swim in the bowl as a chipmunk. Then a cockroach, a squid, and a skunk." Speedy said, nonchalantly. "I forgot to throw it out."

"Why you little..."

After the song and giving Aqualad a peck on the cheek so Robin could see it, she came over towards the boys and smiled at them demurely. "Robin, would you care to join me for this next song?"

He was trying to think of a way to turn Starfire down when he was shoved forward by a hard clap on his shoulder from Cyborg. "Sure." he acquiesced.

OOO

Most guys would find waltzing with this girl absolute heaven, especially when she was trying to hold them to her as closely as possible. Even though she was taller than him by almost a foot, Robin could swear that she was pressing his head against her bosom. Doing it was surprisingly easy... Starfire was very good at this and showed him how to perform the motions in an gentle way. To his dismay, everyone at the party was looking at the two and commenting.

He looked up into Starfire's eyes, deeply. He saw adoration coming from this girl, something he'd only seen once before from the thousands of girls who tried to get his attention. She really was in love with him. Not just as a crush or fondness or a close friendship. That look touched him so much that Robin searched his heart, trying to find his feelings towards her.

She was amazing. The perfect girlfriend. But for some reason he just couldn't see himself with her. He could imagine the dates and the good times and the cuddling, but he couldn't imagine being with her complete. Talking to her at three o' clock in the morning until the sun came up because he felt like it. Explaining how much he was haunted in his line of work. Just the little things. He really didn't have all that much in common with Starfire, though she definitely wasn't an opposite. He had to admit that it looked really cute and that she had been there for him during the darker days of him being a Titan.

Dark... thoughts of Raven came to his head. If Starfire embodied the dream lover, then Raven embodied the undateable single woman. She was moody, quiet, sarcastic, very introverted, and showed little interest in doing anything that couldn't be done in a creepy room. He wondered if she even liked him. She said she didn't, and at the time he thought she was lying.

But now he really did wonder. She apparently was really interested in the man trapped inside the book for that week, according to Beast Boy, but it turned out that he was just feigning interest to get free. But that made him wonder how she became attracted to the dragon in the first place.

Raven wasn't impressed by the things that made most girls swoon over guys. He doubted that she could be smooth talked. What did the dragon offer that he, the Boy Wonder, couldn't? He felt a pang of jealousy. He remembered when she finally came from the room, in her white clothing. For those brief few hours, she seemed absolutely blissful. She was in love with the imposter.

These dreams over the past few days. They were really starting to get to him. He was feeling much closer to Raven yet he couldn't do anything. He wasn't sure what his feelings were for her. They got along fantastically on an intellectual level. Except when Robin had lost control of himself when hunting down Slade for the first time, she never said anything unkind or sarcastic towards him. She respected his opinion and decisions more than anyone else on the team and let him ask things that she wouldn't let anyone else. He had grown to really value Raven's presence. He knew by now that he wanted to get closer to her, but how much more...?

Robin realized that he had been spacing out again. The song was over for a few seconds and he was still holding on to Starfire. Though she had smiled at his continued touch, she looked rather confused when she kissed him on the forehead and then on the cheek and he was still lost in thought. "Robin?" the sweet alien asked, her voice becoming concerned. He was starting to feel drowsy.

Robin let his hands drop from her sides. Oh, no. She tried to look satisfied, but she was poor at hiding her emotions. Robin could tell she was disappointed at his lack of response. The ambience and music was perfect, just like she had hoped, and there had been no magic.

Feebly, he tried to explain, "Sorry, Star. I haven't been sleeping very well lately. It's starting to catch up."

She looked at him for a short and then did her best to smile hopefully. "Then might you retire for a little bit? It is barely even the afternoon."

"Thanks, Starfire. I'm just going to take a short nap." Everyone in the room was staring at him, and it made Robin feel even more uncomfortable. He didn't mean to ruin her moment or embarrass her. He hurried himself out of the lounge and took a seat in a chair by the kitchen while leaning against a corner. He could still hear party music but the lights here were turned off.

Robin saw Beast Boy peering around the corner, giving Robin a sympathetic frown before going back to the party. The last thing he saw before he felt his body go warm with sleep was Starfire holding out her hand to Aqualad again.

OOO

Almost immediately after going unconscious, he felt himself in a lucid world again. He didn't find dreaming so soon so strange any more. A room materialized within vision. It looked very much like the audience chamber of a legislative body, though the chairs and table were hewn from stone. The dim lighting, threadbare surroundings, and the music of a muted pipe organ from a place unseen made this place seem like a stereotypical cult chamber.

The people gathered didn't do much to contradict this impression. They all had a single wax candle in front of them. Except for their faces, all were completely obscured by dark blue robes. They were hunched over their seats, murmuring angrily. On the speaker's platform, a plain-looking woman between the years of middle and old age was waiting for the talk to die down. Behind her was a human woman, barely out of her teen years, dressed simply in a grey sweat shirt, jeans, and tattered sneakers. She was pretty at one point, but her pale, gaunt face with glassy brown eyes and stringy black hair looked haunted.

Next to the woman was a little girl of 5 or 6, dressed in a plain black dress. She stared impassively at the crowd, her amethyst eyes unblinking. Despite the ponytail, the dark purple hair and pale-grey skin easily indicated that it was Raven.

"Order! Order!" The older woman shouted. She was scanning the gathered anxiously, despite her attempt to put on an angry look. All eyes were now forward to her, though there were still some voices. "Has the Council of Azarath made a decision?"

One of the robed figures stood up and held out his hands. He clapped twice and letters of fire appeared in the air near the center. He couldn't tell what the number in green fire indicated, due to the alphabet, but the one with red fire clearly had a zero. All of the gathered Azarathians began talking amongst themselves again.

Above the drone of the crowd, the man who conjured the letters announced, "The decision is unanimous, by a vote of 483 to 0. Raven, the child of Arella and Trigon, shall hereby be executed fro-"

The woman at the center slammed her hands on her podium and bellowed, "Order!" The room became silent again. Her voice was filled with contempt. "As chairwoman, I must state that I am extremely disappointed in my peers. How can you in good conscience vote in such a despicable way?"

A large, strong woman near the back stood up suddenly. Her robes did little to conceal her form. "Having the child here places all of Azarath in danger. The prophets have looked into the future; her very presence beckons disaster. For the safety of the people here we must kill her immediately." She sat back down.

Raven squirmed on the platform but was shushed by her mother placing a hand on her shoulder. The chairwoman shook her head. "But execution? We are pacifists. It is the code of Azarath. We have not even punished one of our own for any crime in the past eleven years, let alone with capital punishment... it goes against the teachings."

A skinny old man with a wispy beard stood up. "It may be, but what about the people living on Earth? Of Tameran? We cannot risk the lives of billions of people for our teachings. They do not even know we exist. Don't make it sound like we are being cowardly." He, too, sat back down. Robin sensed a tension in the crowd. No one dared speak a world, but that was more out of solidarity in their decision than a desire not to upset the chairwoman.

The lead councilwoman sighed darkly. "We have been working very hard to teach her to control her powers since birth. The outbursts like the one at the square will not happen again. We just need to train her more."

A middle aged man stood up and had his arms crossed around his chest. "You are being selfish. That outburst that destroyed the library injured dozens. Your training is and will be a failure, for she is the spawn of the destroyer Trigon. There is nothing left for her but death." He sat down, seemingly smug at the hundreds of agreeing murmurs he got.

The chairwoman looked behind her frantically towards Arella, who was just staring forward with an apathetic look, not unlike her daughter. She said in a quieter voice, "D-do you have anything to add? Say something! They are going to kill Raven!"

There was an awkward silence. Not looking at either her daughter or her benefactor, Arella stepped forward, right next to the podium. "As her mother, I say that even though I would rather her live, you must do what you feel is right. This child was forced upon me to be used as a tool of evil. I have been rarely even permitted contact since birth. If it will truly help others, then do what you may."

There was a collective gasp from the legislature at Arella's callous words. The old woman looked stunned, taking a step back. She then trembled with rage. "Fools!" she screeched. "A life isn't just to be bartered for your protection!"

"It's for everyone's protection. You must remember that, Azar." A voice said.

"No! Come with me, young one. Quickly." She scooped Raven up in her arms. Her mother glanced sideways but said nothing and did nothing. There was a subtle outline of light around her body and the chairwoman faded from sight. The Council of Azarath rose as one and hurried out of the chamber, about to riot. Voice came all about. "Find her! And the child!" "This treason against all life must not go unpunished!" "Warn the populace!"

OOO

Robin felt heartsick, even though he had guessed at what happened to Raven. He never knew it was this bad for her, from the very beginning. There was also something very strange about the dream. Somehow or another he could feel the temperature in the room. It was somewhat warm in the chamber, despite all of the rock. But feeling anything was impossible without a body. Could this dream bond they had be getting deeper?

He then felt very foolish. He had suddenly been so sleepy that he forgot that Raven was supposed to be sleeping at the same time, so that she wouldn't have to worry about him seeing her thoughts and memories. He tried to mentally force himself to wake up but discovered that still didn't know how to truly do it; only block it out. But it wasn't totally without effect. He was slipping back into true unconsciousness, but he felt the presence of someone else there. He wanted to say or do something to the other presence, but found it impossible.

OOO

In contrast to Jump City, which always resembled a cosmopolitan, Californian town even in the winter, Gotham was a very dreary place. The skies were a solid mass of cloud, so much that even at noon it was practically dark. The fog and grey snow did nothing to help. Further, from what could be told, this was the bad section of town. Trash was strewn about the streets and more than half of the street lights didn't work. A broken-down, rusted car was right in front of a broken-down apartment complex.

This did not put a damper on the mood of the youngster Raven was watching. Even though he was wearing a thick brown winter coat and had a black watch cap over his head, she easily recognized him as Robin. She hadn't seen him out of a costume for years, especially not without his mask. He had two presents in his arms, one an expertly wrapped box with a thick blue bow and the other done with newspaper and tape. He went inside the derelict apartment complex and went up the steps hurriedly, only pausing to step over a sleeping, drooling drunkard. He knocked on a peeling door.

"Just a minute." came a female voice from inside. Robin was already grinning in a way she also rarely saw. There was the sound of several locks being unlocked and then the door opened.

This was a girl that Raven had never seen before. Still a teenager. But older than Robin, who couldn't have been more than 15 or 16 at the time. She was very pretty, in a way Raven hadn't really seen before. She had cuteness, no doubt, but her eyes and smile showed confidence and strength. She had blonde hair vaguely like a cross between Terra and Starfire's, very long and blonde but also bushy. She had dark red lipstick on and was wearing a pink terry cloth robe. Her tone of voice was very inviting, almost sultry, her baby blue eyes twinkling. "Hi, Tim! Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Stephanie. How're you doing?"

She grinned at him and opened the door more. "Better that you're here. Come on in, sweetie. Take a seat."

Robin came into her apartment. As a contrast to the rest of the building, Stephanie had really fixed up her place. While she couldn't do anything about the mottled wallpaper and creaking floors, she had the floor covered with tasteful rugs. Bookshelves, more seats and tables than really needed, and well-attended plants took up a lot of the floor space. Mirrors and generic pictures of nature made the room seem more spacious than it really was.

The only light was coming from the kitchen while scented vanilla candles were placed around the room. The heater was turned up a little too much, but neither teen minded. This apartment was very comfortable and homey. This place wasn't Raven at all, but she found herself liking the place anyway.

He stepped over a glass coffee table with a bowl of candy canes in it and sat on the couch, about to reach for one. Stephanie smiled at him playfully. "Ah ah ah. I want you to try these cookies first."

Robin reclined on the beat-up couch, taking his shoes off after placing the packages on the armrest. "I don't think the Boy Wonder has been trained to ingest poisons."

She came back in with a plate of lumpy-looking oatmeal cookies, placing it in front of him while she jumped on the couch. She immediately started leaning against Robin, who was receptive to her touch. "You mean Girl Wonder now. Go ahead. Oatmeal raisin with chocolate chips and walnuts." Girl Wonder? Raven mused.

Robin took a bite of one, then shoved the entire cookie in his mouth, smearing chocolate on his lips. "Mmmgufh." He gave a thumbs up of approval. She kissed him on the chocolate spot, licking it up. "Thank you."

She wrapped an arm around Robin. Her forwardness, her ease with touching him, and her affectionate gaze clearly indicated that she was his girlfriend. And he looked so happy. Raven wondered why he never talked about this girl, even before he became a full-time Titan. He was the only one back then who seemed to have had a life outside the team.

Robin held the girl in such a way so that she was lying lengthwise along his body. He was playing with the strands of her cloth belt while hugging her. They cuddled like that for several minutes in silence, just enjoying themselves. After eating his fourth cookie, Robin then asked, "So how has the whole Robin thing been going for you, Steph? I saw you on the news."

Stephanie's eyes became vacant and her smile waned. "It's going fine. Mr. Wayne's nice, but the others are..."

Robin frowned from behind her, but brought his lips to her left ear anyway. "Are they still being cold to you?"

"Yeah. You left some pretty big shoes to fill. It's going to take me some time before they accept me as Robin, you know?"

He nibbled at Stephanie's earlobe for a bit. Though Stephanie responded with a content sigh, he looked a little too on edge to do it for very long. "Well, they just have to. They just have to understand that I can't be Robin anymore and I'm not coming back."

She suddenly sat up and rolled around, lying on her side. "How come? You were great! You were really kicking some serious butt. And you were the leader of the Titans, too. In Jump City."

"Come on, Stephanie. I swore on my honor to Dad that I'd never pick up the costume again." Robin, well, Tim said, holding up both of his arms. Stephanie pushed his jacket off of him and was rolling up his T-shirt to lift over his head.

"He wouldn't have to know. He doesn't know that you're going to a sexy, female Robin's apartment who lives in the bad part of town." she purred, then starting to unfasten his jeans.

Timothy shook his head. He gently moved Stephanie's hands away and pulled his jeans down to his ankles, leaving him in only a pair of plain white underpants. "It's not like that. He pretty much knows what we do... he's just really worried about my safety. I'm not really into Robin much anymore now. Dad's finally walking again and the boss has been pushing the Titans more."

"What's wrong with the Titans? I want to join that group someday. It'd be pretty cool, just hanging out in a tower all day and not going to school and fighting bad guys in my free time." Stephanie asked. Her slender hand slid up and down Tim's leg, inching closer and closer towards the middle. Tim tried to appear calm and talkative, but Raven could tell he was becoming excited.

"It isn't all that great. The lifestyle's a little weird. They're all orphans and we fight some definite weirdos. They kind of look upon me as an outsider, since I only used to go on weekends and didn't have any superpowers." Tim tentatively undid Stephanie's belt, but left her lapels folded over each other. She propped her cheek on her hand, smiling seductively at Tim. "Don't stop."

"I don't know. I just felt like a pretentious manager. I've been improving so I'm not totally useless any more but I still had a long way to go. Guess I'll never know." Tim said, absently.

The girl gave Tim this sort of look, then chuckled. "No, I meant with this robe. Has it been bothering you that much, Tim?"

He looked startled, then sheepish. "It probably has."

She threw her arms around his neck. Stephanie's robe slipped a little bit, revealing a line of flesh down to her navel. "Hmm. Maybe I should give you your Christmas present early, then, lover. My body to be yours for the rest of this weekend. With appropriate lessons."

His eyes lit up at that, then pulling the cloth fully from her body. She let out a soft purr and crawled on top of him, smushing her bare breasts against his shoulders and kissing him on the nose. Raven suddenly felt awkward, as though she should leave. But like when Tim was training with his mentor, the dark girl found it impossible to even really look away. But a large part of her wanted to watch, anyway.

"Sweetie." Stephanie murmured, planting kisses on his cheek and then on his lips. She rested her mouth and forehead against his while her boyfriend returned them. Tim's hand slid down her lush blonde hair to the sides of her bosom down to her waist, squeezing. "Sexy." he grinned. He then goosed her rear, causing her to laugh.

"Mmm, this is the perfect Christmas. Presents from a cute boy who's also Robin and having my way with him. Not only that, but with a child on the way."

"W-what?" Robin practically shouted. He was about to lose his grip on Stephanie but she repositioned himself back on top of him and giggled.

"I'm just kidding. I was testing your reaction to a logical consequence of all this lovemaking we've been doing. Detective." She sat up and scooted down lower along his body, in such a way that Tim could feel her heat and need along his stomach. Tim shivered at the feeling. "Heh. For some reason, I don't mind being a father to a kid that's not mine, but I don't want to father any myself. Yet."

"I know. I find responsible boys irresistible." She pressed her hips against his, the lone bit of fabric around his loins the only thing preventing further contact. She leaned down while still sitting on him, like a cat, kissing him on the lips again as she coaxed him out of his shorts.

OOO

And so they spent the rest of the afternoon and evening and well into the morning satisfying the other. Robin being taught gently how to pleasure a woman and Stephanie fulfilling his boyish needs. Their bodies were slick with sweat at the overly warm room and at the unceasing act and both were sleeping in the other's arms. Raven simply didn't know that her calm, almost priggish leader had been like that ago... yes, he was inexperienced, but was also so passionate. What had happened to him?

OOO

It was the same cave Raven saw in Tim's dream. It seemed almost the same as before, except that terminals and hospital equipment were placed in a semicircle near the center of the room. The dank room once reeked of blood and sweat, but it was fading from the moisture of the cave. She could spot two figures gathered around a wheeled-in bed in the center. She instinctively felt alarm, but then saw Robin, in a paramedic's outfit. He had his hand over his face as he gazed at the person in the bed with such sorrow. The butler, Alfred, was scurrying around with syringes and swaps while dressed in the same outfit, turning on equipment in between giving emergency care. Robin looked as though he wanted to help but couldn't, and he was pacing about angrily.

"Calm down, young master." Alfred said, his voice sounding uncharacteristically peeved.

"How can I? I think he should go to a real hospital. You saw how he was... he was a corpse when we got to him!" Tim almost screamed.

"Almost. And master Bruce would never allow that. You might as well have killed him right there."

"And this is so much better." Robin sneered.

Raven got a closer look at Bruce and felt a rare twinge of pity. Robin was right to be so worried. Someone or something had destroyed his mentor. Before Alfred was able to stick a moist wrap on it, several of his ribs were sticking through his chest, out of his skin. One arm was massively swollen around his shoulder, and he was covered with cuts and lacerations, especially centered around his head: his face was a swollen black and blue lump.

Alfred tried to keep his voice calm, to lesson the impact of the grave news. "If it is any comfort to you at all, we are going to have to call a real doctor. His spine is completely severed."

"Oh my God... oh no, no!" Tim's fists balled up but his face had an expression of pure despair.

The patient's eyelids slowly fluttered open and glazed eyes rolled to his left side. "... red? Robin..."

All of the rage had left Robin's face in an instant. He forgot Alfred's grim diagnosis, filled with joy at seeing his mentor come to so soon. Perhaps things would be fine after all. "Bruce!" he said, forgetting about the rule never to call him by his first name.

Alfred looked taken aback and was frantically going through a cabinet for something. "Master, please, you need your rest."

Bruce's eyes rolled to the back of his head. Robin thought that he had imagined it at first, but a tear rolled down his mentor's cheek. He had never seem him cry before. But as it came in a steady trickle, he couldn't deny that he was doing that. If his voice was stronger, it would have come out as a wail. "I've failed. Failed..."

Tim held a few fingers to his mouth. "Mr. Wayne?"

"He beat me. He won. He rules the city now. Bane was... like a monster and I was a baby against him. So weak..." he softly babbled. Raven could feel Robin's despair returning.

"What are you saying? You're alive, sir. And with friends." Tim whispered. Alfred said nothing and was now throwing equipment about on the floor in his mad haste to find something. "Young master, do not speak to him."

"Alive? Why didn't he kill me? I deserved to die... he was toying with me, torturing me for joy... and I let him." Tim picked up a piece of unbloodied gauze and dabbed at his master's cheeks. Tim felt a knot form at his throat. "I... Alfred?"

Alfred stood up suddenly and went to Bruce's side. He placed a mask over the patient's mouth and nose and placed the gas canister on the floor. "Yes, master Bruce?"

"Why can't I feel my legs?"

His manservant said nothing as he turned the nozzle on the side of the can, which began to emit sleeping gas. "You have suffered injuries."

Bruce groaned deeply, closing his eyes. "Then he didn't just beat me... he destroyed me."

Tim held both of his hands to his face, fighting back tears. Raven could feel his grief, at a good friend being crippled and his disillusionment at seeing a respected, invincible hero brought to the level of a crying loser. And for what reason? So an unknown madman could gain some glory. He looked like he was going to give in, until he pondered why this had to happen. His head jolted up. He felt an emotion replace the hurt. Raven recognized that expression. He had the same look on his face when he was fighting and thwarting the machinations of Slade for the first time.

Unrelenting hatred had taken control of Robin for the first time. And not the hatred brought upon by greed, selfishness, delusion, or anger, but the emotion Raven felt from him was something different. A rational, deliberate desire to hate this man. Even though he had a reason, it would not have made a difference. He was obsessed with bringing an end to the man who did that. Even Raven felt horrified by what he was feeling.

It had frightened everyone on the Titans when they first saw it, but they never said anything of it. Everyone felt relieved after they rescued him from being Slade's apprentice. He never had that look again, not even when he returned with Terra as an apprentice. Until his mask poisoned him. In his insanity, they saw that emotion from Robin again. It looked like he was going to be consumed by it. But she had saved him. Entered his mind and saved him when he needed it the most.

"Where are you going, young master? Bruce needs us right now."

"I don't care. I can't stand to see such a weak man." Robin growled, his voice dripping with fury. "I'm going to end this."

"Tim! Come back here! I order you!" Alfred vainly called as Robin marched out of the Batcave. He shook his head as his ward went away and went to tend to the broken bat by himself.

OOO

And that was that. Raven found herself lying in her bed on her back. This wasn't her room. This was the same bedroom as the other night, when Slade...

She immediately sat up and went off of the bed. She chanted 'Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos' to focus herself, feeling immediately uneasy. She though about Robin, who was no doubt seeing this right now. She felt herself about to panic and tried to control it, but remembered that her emotions had no impact on her dream. Nonetheless, she forced herself to become calm and went around the room to inspect it. She turned on her lights and illuminated as many trinkets as she could. But the room was still dark. And the shadows just became that much more sinister.

"Robin? Robin, can you hear me? Please. You need to wake me up. I'm getting scared..." she said to nothingness. She tried to force down the dread and began repeating her focusing words repeatedly, but to no avail. Raven frantically looked around the room, trying to take a step towards a more lit part of the room.

She felt two powerful gloved hands grip her around her arms. She felt her heart jump. "Hello, pumpkin. Thought that you could avoid me by taking an early nap?"

She thrashed in his grasp, trying to get free. But as always, it was futile. She couldn't call upon her powers and couldn't even make him budge by kicking him. She stood up and swung her head back to clop him on the chin, but he turned her around and forced her against a wall.

"You're rather feisty tonight. Delicious. But no, there's no Robin here." Raven could sense his lecherous smile behind his mask. "I saw those dreams. What exquisite fantasies you've constructed for yourself. I'm afraid he's not... the Prince Charming in distress as you'd like him to be. I painstakingly went over every detail in his life when he was my slave."

"Why do you care what I think?" Despite the situation, she felt a small amount of hope in her heart.

He stuck his face right in front of hers, in a motion reminiscent of a cobra. "It means that you are breaking our deal. When I wanted you to separate yourself from your friends, I meant both physically and emotionally. And you're fantasizing about him like a little schoolgirl."

The faint hope grew bigger. Slade didn't know that she really, truly was experiencing Robin's memories, not just her spin on what she told. If he knew the truth... she shuddered outwardly at the thought of this madman using the bond to get at him. It occurred to her how dangerous this was.

"You should have been clearer. My mind is my own." Raven stared at him with fiery violet eyes, refusing to back down.

Slade, in his gasconade, had overestimated his ability to enter her mind. But only slightly. "Spare me. You are an open book. Look."

He squeezed her arms harder, until his grip was a vice. She couldn't help but let out a groan of pain as she felt the birthmarks burn through her skin again, leaving her half-dressed as she did before. Slade pushed her towards the mirror in her room he did the other night and Raven was astonished at what she saw.

There were more of the marks on her body. They ran down her neck and sides of her face now. She felt a searing sensation on her palms and soles of her feet and knew they were there, too. Raven's hair had grown out even longer now, to the small of her back. After seeing how she changed, the mirror's reflection changed to reflect a new scene.

It was the scene of Robin and his old girlfriend in her apartment, sprawled on the couch with both of them naked. Except that in place of Stephanie, it was her. Smiling and seducing him. She couldn't help but blush, even if the memory did not go like that at all. Even the conversation was different. When they referenced details of Stephanie's life it came out as chatter.

Then it showed the scene of the Batcave. But instead of the cave it was Titans Tower, and instead of Alfred and Bruce it was Cyborg and her. She was lying in the bed, invalid, while Tim was grieving for her. Slade curled an arm around her waist. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Then listen well. Forget about your dear Robin, wretched girl. He can and will never love you. He saw you for your useful powers. That's all." As his hand creeped further up her stomach, scritching along her breastbone. Filled with disgust, she tried to push it back down with both of her hands until Slade relented. She said nothing in response, but what she was thinking must have been showing in her eyes.

"Oh, I am not speaking just to torment you. It's merely a fact. His heart is with your best friend Starfire, pumpkin. My old apprentice would not give you a second glance." His free hand grabbed underneath her chin and lifted it up, so that Raven could look squarely into the mirror. At herself and at Slade.

"And why not? She's a much more likeable person than you are. She's nowhere near as selfish and mean. They didn't even want you on their team at first, then only paid you attention because they were told to."

"That's not true." Raven said, closing her eyes. Slade jolted her chin to force them back open.

"It is. You never want to do anything unless you like it. What was the name of the first person who showed any interest in you?" He embraced her more tightly, pressing his head against hers. Raven, against her will, spoke his name. "Malchior."

"Oh, yes. How repulsive he must have found you. He even told you that you would have no friends but him when you showed some backbone. And you believed him." He suddenly slid his hand underneath Raven's top, causing her to shriek at the touch. He squeezed and kneaded as he saw fit. "And still he betrayed you at first chance." He chuckled foully. "They even liked Terra, a planted traitor, better than you."

"Stop it, Slade. Just... stop." Raven did not understand how her voice came out so small.

"I still can't understand why you hated her so much. You and her are one and indivisible... lies, secrets, uncontrollable powers. Ah. She can't hurt anywhere near as many people." He withdrew his hand after letting it sit there for so long. He could feel the trembling of her body. That was enough for him. "But there will not be love for you. Not Robin, not anyone. You are not allowed such happiness. Only a fulfilling of animalistic urges and wants. True to your kind." Again, he pushed her, this time in the direction of her bed, causing her to stumble onto the mattress. He advanced ominously. "Have you ever wondered how your mother was taken? How she spawned you against your will?"

"No!" came a voice from behind. Robin had bounded down from the ceiling and swung his bo staff, connecting with the back of Slade's head. He sent the criminal sprawling knees, and swung again at his neck, sending him to the floor. This was not part of the scene; the surprise on Slade's face was total before he went unconscious. He immediately rushed to Raven, an indescribable emotion having stricken his face. "Raven, are you alright? Raven..."

OOO

Robin woke up with such a start that he nearly fell from his chair. He had caught himself an instant before he was about to scream her name. Saliva had run down his mouth and his brow was damp. He immediately stood up. Raven was in trouble. He bounded into the middle of the room the Titans were gathered at, to everyone's surprise. They were sitting around on the couches turned to place the fireplace, talking amicably to each other. Though it felt to Robin like he had woken up in the middle of the night, it was still mid-afternoon.

Cyborg was the first to notice him. "Hey, man." His eye squinted and his smile went away. "Are you all right? You look like you had a nightmare."

"I did. About Raven. She's in trouble. We really have to go back to the tower." Robin stated. His arms were crossed around his chest resolutely. Titans, honorary and the East and West, looked at him intently.

"What's going on?" Aqualad asked, both of his eyebrows raised in interest. Robin hardly took note of the fact that Starfire was sitting right next to him, almost touching. "What's the problem?"

"It's..." Robin hesitated. He actually didn't know of a reason he could rationally explain; it was mostly in his gut. He had a bad dream and Raven was experiencing the same thing? "Look, trust me. It involves Slade. Let me..." He retrieved and flipped open his communicator and called all of the communication terminals back at their HQ. "Raven? Raven? Do you read?"

"Raven here. What, Robin?" The view screen showed her at the tower, awake and dressed with her hood up. She was standing in the hallway and staring at him through the screen. Everything looked normal on her end.

"I sensed you were in trouble. What's wrong?" he asked, starting to feel foolish at his outburst. He should have done this before alerting everyone on his team. What was wrong with him?

"Nothing's wrong. I wanted some green tea." Her non-committal look did not break for an instant. Robin was starting to feel as if he imagined the whole thing.

"It's. Raven, you were..."

"If that's all, I'm leaving. Raven out." The little view screen showed static as she disconnected. He was about to call her again when he felt Bumblebee's hand on his arm.

"What are you doing, child?" she asked. She was still sitting down in the couch.

Robin gently moved free of Bumblebee's grasp and placed his communicator back into his suit jacket. "We're going back to the tower. Raven needs us."

Speedy had no qualms about interfering in the business of the other team. "Uh, Robs? Did you not hear her? She's fine and sounds fine and probably doesn't want you to come back."

Beast Boy looked as though he wanted to add something, but leaned forward and looked at the floor. Cyborg gave Robin a puzzled look. "I agree. I don't want to drive two hours back for nothing. What makes you so sure?"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this. A teammate might be in trouble and you want to stay at a party."

"Look, it's not even close to the first time we left her alone before." Cyborg pointed out. "What the heck were you dreaming about, anyway? You said Slade."

"Yes. Slade somehow broke in and invaded the tower and-"

Robin knew it was a mistake as soon as he said that. Starfire, Cyborg, and even Beast Boy's looks turned skeptical. "Right. Robin, you were having a nightmare."

Starfire's look turned briefly unfeeling. "She does not even want us at the tower right now, possibly. You would be making her upset if you were to come back unannounced."

He was about to start yelling, but understood that his story sounded extremely suspicious without details. Like he was trying to sneak out of a party. He tried to think of a way to approach this from another end. "Beast Boy, remember what we discussed yesterday? I felt something bad happen over that."

"Robin... people have nightmares. Especially when you're all dark and gloomy all the time. Sometimes you just gotta relax." It was obviously paining Beast Boy to have to be as vague as possible. He usually just blurted out his thoughts. Robin really regretted bringing up Slade's name now. His one advocate had turned against him.

"Yes. You cannot just chase after every bad premonition you have. Robin, just sit with us and relax. You are obviously very stressed." To Aqualad's obvious disappointment, the Tameranian scooted further away from him, leaving a bare seat.

He felt the wisdom in their words. What they said made sense. He found himself wanting to have fun and not to worry his friends... but the irrational part of his mind told him to go back home. He had been listening to that part so much more lately, so why stop now? "You may be right. I'll just go back by myself."

Everyone looked stunned. Mas piped up, "¡Senor Robin¿Adónde usted va?"

"Pensé que usted vino en un coche." Menos added.

"I'll find my own way home. Thanks." Without looking back, Robin left the room, indeed wondering how he was going to get back.

OOO

"Ah!" She cried, waking up so suddenly. As always when she woke up from nightmares she immediately began focusing, to suppress any spillover emotions from getting out of control. Forcing herself to be calm and rubbing her temples, Raven opened her eyes.

She was in the living room. It was very sunny out for a Winter's day with no wind or snow. The snow that was there was rapidly turning into slush. The television was still on, turned to the history channel. She was watching a vaguely interesting program about Alexander when the lack of sleep and warmth in the room led her to sleep. She inspected the room, looking for anything amiss. After a nightmare there was always at least something broken. She hated those dreams--for some stupid reason she couldn't control herself in them, couldn't manifest powers, couldn't run away.

She was pleasantly surprised at first to discover that nothing was broken but then was worried. This was extremely abnormal. She glanced sideways underneath the tree, towards the basket. Silkie was in it, awake and gurgling contentedly. If her power went out of control then the silkworm wouldn't just be sitting there happy. Raven tried to decide what to do first. Her powers had never behaved like this before and... Robin. Robin was the one who woke her up, even being in another city. He saw everything for sure. And he was the one who saved her.

She was just too confused. The dark girl just did not want to think of it right now. She went down the corridor back to her room when she heard her communicator buzz. She unattached it from her belt and then Robin's voice came through the speaker. "Raven? Raven? Do you read?"

"Raven here. What, Robin?" Not wanting to explain herself, she put her hood up over her head. On the other monitor was him, looking disheveled. His hair was mottled and his skin looked clammy.

"I sensed you were in trouble. What's wrong?" His concern was real for her. Typical Robin.

"Nothing's wrong. I wanted some green tea." She tried to look as blank-stared as possible, even though her heart was racing. If she said something was wrong then Robin would get the others worrying, too.

"It's. Raven, you were..."

"If that's all, I'm leaving. Raven out." She tucked the device back onto her belt, immediately feeling bad about it. Why did she act so cold to him? It was just so he wouldn't make a scene, she told herself, but the real reason was because she was embarrassed. Of seeing his moment of weakness and of him seeing hers. She went into the kitchen, to make some tea so it wouldn't be a lie. After she put the cup in the microwave she took out a box of vanilla ice cream that belong to Cyborg. Her sweet tooth was acting up again. Another weakness. Slade had said that she was putting on weight, and he was right in that nasty way of his, but she couldn't help it.

She sat at the kitchen table, by herself. She was just eating from the box, trying to imagine how good it tasted instead of thinking about the dreams and how pathetic she looked and about Robin... Raven choked on a bite. What Slade had said was true, all of it. She felt a lump in her throat and water collect around her eyes.

OOO

Raven was going towards the bathroom with a towel and a pair of large and small scissors when she heard footsteps come down the hall. Robin. He still had some frost in his hair from the snow outside and his clothes were soaked from earlier melted snow. Despite his palpable discomfort, he still went towards her. He had a relieved look on his face. "Raven? I came back from the party by a taxi. Are you okay?"

She suddenly felt very vulnerable. Instead of a laconic quip, she answered, "I told you I was fine. Where's everyone else?

"Still in Steel City. I came back by myself after I had that dream." She knew Robin could tell she knew what he was referring to. "Are you positive you're okay?"

"I told you. It's under control." She tried to move past him to the bathroom, but he stepped in front of her. Not in a way to directly block her but just enough to make her have to move again. Buying him time for another question.

"Just, if that's just your self-doubt then... he was saying some really horrible things. Do you really feel that way about yourself?"

She murmured in her most exasperated voice, "I don't want to talk about it, Robin. I really don't." She slid between him and the wall, opening the door.

"It's not true. None of us feel like that."

Without a word, she walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She picked up her scissors and was about to pull back her hair. She didn't shut it completely closed, however, and Robin was standing at the doorway.

"Raven..." He said, softly. Through the mirror, he could see how sad he looked. "Why do you reject other people like that?"

She placed her hands on the cool sink and leaned her forehead against the mirror. She didn't want to look... it was heartbreaking. After a long silence, she said, "It's better for everyone if people don't get too close to me."

He walked into the bathroom, right next to her. "You saw my dream. Y-you're wondering why I'm not like that anymore, aren't you? I mean, I could feel you." Robin leaned against the wall, holding a hand to his forehead. "I let her down. Remember when I didn't show up on weekends for all that time? Stephanie replaced me after my father made me swear never to do this again. But I thought she was in over her head... my old team didn't care much for her and she was taking on too much risk. I tried to bring it up to her but I wasn't forceful about it. She either ignored me or asked me to not care, that she had a handle on it." Robin was quiet for a bit, letting the weight of his words sink in.

"She tried to take on a really dangerous man to prove her worth and was tortured to death. I still feel like I could've done something about it. Raven, there is no way you can ask me not to care. Because I do. I do so much it hurts."

She lifted her head off of the mirror. She found herself emboldened by his words. She always knew that if it came to it, she could share her most secret thoughts with him. It looked like it was coming to that. "Robin, what happened to you was dangerous. If my feelings went into your mind... something terrible could happen."

"I have worse memories than that. You said it was just doubt."

"It is. Slade manifested as an emotion. The way my father did, too. Didn't Cyborg and Beast Boy tell you about that?"

"They didn't."

"Well, it is that. A lot of strange things happen when you're dreaming. Your inhibitions come free." That's as close as she could hint right now.

Robin stepped closer to her, just a little bit closer than what would be reserved for mere friends. She saw Starfire enter this space often, but this was the first time Robin had done it to her. "Do you want to talk some more about it?"

It was a curious feeling, but from some place in her heart she found the courage to open up to him. To say 'yes'. She nodded and he smiled in return. But then looked closer. He saw something underneath her hood. "Is that..."

She pulled down her hood quickly. It was hot and full of static with her longer hair. The same length she had when he rescued her from Slade. She saw the shocked glimpse in his eyes and turned to face him. "Robin, please. Don't worry. It's fine. I swear that it isn't Slade."

Raven herself was taken by the almost instant acceptance on his face. "Okay." He rubbed the back of his neck. She knew the feeling. Despite the intimacy they shared, it was very hard to know where to start. But he wanted to help her. "Then... what is it? You can't tell me that was just your dark side, Raven."

"It's not just doubt. It's a collection of negative emotions."

Robin didn't seem to understand. "What about all those emotions? When they were listing off the kidnapped ones, they had a few good ones in there, too."

She sighed darkly, placing her face in her hands. He gets so close to the truth yet couldn't see it. "Oh, Robin."

He moved a little bit closer to the girl, believing that she said something under her breath. "Mm?"

"Weren't you listening to the dream? He's right. I can't have this. Or these feelings."

"You mean love? Raven..." Comforting Starfire was a lot easier. A quick, cheesy speech about believing in yourself and always having the love of your friends would make her feel better. He had the feeling he'd be insulting her by saying something like that. But he had to say something. "You already have that."

"No, I don't. Not like I want." She saw Robin take a step back from her, from what he saw. She couldn't hide the woe and longing from her amethyst eyes. "I... real love. Affection, romance. But I can't have it."

"Stop saying that. You will have love. It doesn't matter about your powers or any of that."

She bowed her head down and shook it from side to side, her purple hair falling between her eyes. "Even without that. I won't have someone to love me. The person I want loves someone else."

Robin was speechless for the longest time. Gently, he reached over and took her hand, holding it in both of his. She looked up at him vacantly, not expecting the words to come. "No, he doesn't."

Her expression was disbelieving, but there was a small amount of light returning to her eyes. "But you are with Starfire. She wants you and you want her. I don't want you to do this out of pity for me. I'll just have to accept... this." Her voice sounded bitter. Raven thought she had pushed the heartsickness from with Malchior out of her mind and found it was returning.

"Raven, I don't want Starfire. I mean, I do, since she's a good friend, but I don't feel the same way about her I do about you. The dreams... I'd never feel comfortable sharing that part about myself with her. And your own dreams, I don't think it's stupid or embarrassing that you feel that way. No matter how things went, I want the dreams to continue." Robin squeezed her hand a little tighter. Her eyes locked with his, unflinching.

"I want to be closer to you, Raven. I really value our bond and our friendship... and if you do, too, I want to take it further."

She could feel her pale skin turning red. Cyborg commented on how cute she looked when she blushed; he and Starfire said that she did it more often than she realized. Robin must have thought she was cute, too, because he was smiling at her. Earnestly. She felt her heart soar.

"Robin... come to my room." Her voice was naturally melancholy, but Raven did notice how much less sad she sounded. She had the feeling that it would be like that around her new loved one from now on.

OOO

This was the second time Robin had been in her room since it was built. He stood at the doorframe often, yes, but never really wandered in, except when the dragon burst through his ceiling. Raven wondered why she never invited him in before; he was the least likely to mess with something or poke his nose where it shouldn't go. It was probably because he truly respected her boundaries more than anyone else. Robin was looking around to see the artifacts she stored but didn't seem particularly impressed or scared or grabby. Then again, from what she saw of the Batcave it looked rather creepy, if cool to her.

Robin looked for a place to sit down but she really didn't have a place other than her bed, so he just stood up. Raven went around the room, waving her hand over the tops of some of the candles to magically extinguish some of the lights. She found it both awkward and comforting for him to be in her room. Since the last two nights, she spent as little time in there as possible, even sleeping on the couch. His serious, caring expression made the ambivalence worse, but she really liked this new feeling. Robin the Boy Wonder wanted to love her. She knew deep down that there would be the problems of her powers and emotions and... the dark man in her dreams.

But Robin wanted to help her feel love. Just this knowledge made all of those other problems feel unimportant.

She felt like she was introducing herself to him all over again. But she found out that she was appreciating even these little gestures. Just like her first love. "Welcome to my room."

"I figured."

"Just so you know, I don't want to hear about how unfair it seems that Beast Boy has been in here more times than you." She said, testing the waters by sitting next to him. "He snuck in all of those times, anyway."

He smirked. "We're going to fix that, right?" He didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he scooted closer to her.

"We'll see." She crossed her bare legs together and twitched one on top. Like a bunny rabbit.

Robin gave them a quick glance. Just enough to notice, not stare. "Are you feeling antsy? I know you don't like to go out much, but I still feel kind of bad that we left you behind."

Raven nodded. "I do want to do something. With you." It occurred to her that she never went somewhere with another boy by herself. Well, she did for missions, but not just to hang out. She missed how Starfire used to drag her along everywhere, until Terra came along. Starfire probably got tired of constantly bugging and dragging her, she thought, even though she actually found that kind of fun.

"Well, let's do something. Right now. A good, old-fashioned date." He held out a hand invitingly towards her.

The dark girl took his gauntleted hand and held it, looking a little bashful. "I don't really care for the stuff most people do. See cheesy movies for the heck of it, go to stupid concerts. Sorry if you find that boring."

To her surprise, Robin breathed out a sigh of relief. "Good. I hate doing date stuff just to do date stuff. It's cold out, but I know a place I've been meaning to take you." He stood up, which prompted her to stand, too. "Let me go take a shower and put on some regular clothes."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Robin shrugged. "Only celebrity superheroes who want to make a big production out of that go in costume. I thought that you'd look at that with contempt."

Raven smiled at him. "What do you think? I don't want people to go pointing and staring and say, 'oh, look, the Birds are going out'. It kills the mood."

"The long hair will help. It'll cover your chakra and makes you look like someone else."

She ughed, tossing some locks behind her shoulder. She was going to cut it again but Robin had a point. She could put up with it for a few hours. "What about you?"

"Going to change clothes, wash the gel out, and..." Robin grimaced. "This pains me physically, but the mask is going to have to go."

"You're kidding. Those things are your symbiotes. That's just too cruel to them."

He chuckled at her. "See you in a bit."

OOO

After beating Robin to the shower, it didn't take Raven very long to get dressed. Mostly because she didn't fret about her appearance. Not that she didn't have much to pick from. She picked out a pair of raggedy jeans, stiff from being shoved at the bottom of her drawer for so long. She contemplated wearing her leotard underneath her clothes until she saw the only decent shirt she had was a black tank top with an silver ankh stitched in.

Terra had gotten her that as a present, back when she was a Titan and still sort of her friend. She didn't want to put it on and the discovery that she didn't have any bras that would fit anymore nearly killed the decision. Having support sewn into her costume made her not think about wearing those degrading things. She put it on and looked down.

Bared midriff, too much cleavage, and the fabric around the chest was much too thin. Even if it was warm for a winter day's out, there was no way she was getting caught in this. Terra was skinny enough to get away with wearing this, but not her. To her relief, she was able to find a pink hoodie sweater stuffed underneath a pile of unopened Invader Zim sheets Beast Boy got for her birthday. 'Isn't that the cartoon that all of the goths like?' he teased, which got him a bonk on the head from Cyborg. He was the one who got that for her, along with a copy of the Papyrus of Ani--the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Beast Boy muttered something about how unfair it was to use knowledge from Nevermore.

She looked at herself in the mirror after putting it on. Except for her somewhat grey skin, she was surprised at how normal she looked. She was curious as how Robin turned out. She gave her hair a swift brushing and walked down the hall to Robin's room, knocking on it. He made an unready noise and in a few minutes he was there.

"Are you ready?" he asked, smiling at her. His eyes showed approval at her appearance, she noticed. She also found herself staring at him. He was wearing a pair of stonewashed jeans that were intentionally put through the washer so often that they were turning a speckled white, a platinum necklace, and a black tank top made of silk. He also had a dark red windbreaker on that had his old team on the back: The Gotham Demons.

His hair was intentionally spiky and tousled, but it looked good on him. Without his mask, she could see his eyes fully. Robin had bright, gentle, almost girlish blue eyes. Not really blue... they were so bright that cyan would be the right color. No wonder he wore such an intense-looking mask. He wouldn't look the least bit intimidating without it. He obviously hadn't worn those clothes for a long time. Though he took better care of her civilian clothes than she did, they still shrank from not being worn and from him growing up. His tank top clung a little too tightly to his chest, his jeans hugged a little too tightly to his...

Raven shook her head. It still didn't feel right thinking of him like that. But this was definitely something to look forward to. "Sure. Where are we going first?"

OOO

She had to admit that she never expected him to take her here. A tour of the Wailing Woods Cemetery. Jump City did have a cemetery in Eastern part of town, which was very strange for this sunny East Coast city to have. But Robin had taken her to the old part of town by bus, eschewing the conspicuous R-Cycle. Though they had practically been all over Jump City to stop crime, she hadn't really been to this part of town. Being right in the midpoint of Gotham and Florida, it had a curious mixture of Gothic and Creole culture that she found charming. This part of the city was strangely ignored by tourists, who preferred the shiny and cosmopolitan sections.

The tour guide, a weaselly but unassuming man in a wrinkled suit and in his mid 20's, was better than she thought he'd be. He was cynical but had an enthusiasm about his job, making wry remarks about some of the tombs. She had heard about the more exotic methods of burial but didn't think that Jump City had anything more exciting than burial. She, Robin, and four other tourists were looking at a wall of metal doors.

"... and in case the whole solar power thing goes under for the environmentalists, they'll always have these. During the rainy season back during the mid to late 19th century, they stuck corpses in these. Since the soil here is loose, one good flood would pop all of the coffins out of the ground and send them floating downtown. That's no good."

The other tourists looked horrified. "This guy is amusing. In a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-him sort of way." Raven stage-whispered to him. Robin had a strange expression on his face, too, but he was enjoying himself. Good.

"... so they stuck your loved ones in these things for two-hundred and two days and it cooked you into nothing. Of course, it was also briefly used as a method of execution for thieves. Note the scratch marks on the inside of some of these doors here." He crushed past some slush-covered thistle weeds, getting his already questionable suit wet with plant ichor and snow. "Now, you'd think that with all of the agonized screaming, that's why they would call this place the Wailing Woods. Not so much. Here you'll see where the section reserved exclusively for people who engaged in witchcraft."

"Witchcraft." Raven echoed, deciding to let the other tourists go first. They could pick up all of the moisture.

"Yes, witchcraft. You'd probably be suspected on the spot, with hair like that. Now you and your boyfriend come on."

Raven wasn't miffed by his comment as much as she should be. She liked the sound of that. Boyfriend. She couldn't see Robin's face, but suspected that he did too.

OOO

They left the cemetery right before it got dark. Not because either of them found it scary, but because it was too hard to see. Not like the city sector was lit much better. It would be a perfect occasion for a boy to show his protective side to his girl, but Raven would overpower any street gang by herself. Still, she walked alongside Robin down the nearly empty street, her shoulder occasionally brushing up against his. "Thanks, Robin. It was... original."

"You're welcome. You want to go get something to eat? I know this jazz club." He was sneaking leans against her, too. Eventually she just got fed up with the swaying motion and reached for his hand. She expected it to be calloused without the gloves, but it felt surprisingly soft.

Raven gave him a curious look. "How do you know all these places? You leave the tower less than I do."

"Just part of the patrol I sometimes do late at night, when I can't sleep. Some habits..."

They were silent as they walked down two blocks, just enjoying the other's company. One of the things she liked about him: Robin didn't constantly feel the need to make small talk or make observations or crack little jokes. As they approached, Raven could hear the muted cry of a trumpet being played. Robin's eyes immediately perked up with interest. She didn't figure him for a jazz lover, as she often found him listening to some heavy metal hair band, but it fit him.

The outside of a club was a nearly featureless brick facade that someone could have mistaken for just another restaurant while passing by. Though the music, the colorful graffiti on the side walls, and the smell of Cajun food somehow made it very distinguished when one was actually looking for it. As soon as Robin opened the door, she felt a blast of heat and a spicy, soupy scent assault her senses.

It was a relatively simple place. The club seemed pretty popular, though most of the people in here were middle-aged or approaching it. All of the tables had a green and white checkered cheesecloth and a small wax candle in a tinted glass dish. With no doorman, Robin just led her to an empty table and pulled up a seat for her. Both sat down, glancing towards the front of the club. The musician they heard outside the building walked off stage, a gangly, pimply teenager wearing punkish clothes who didn't look at all like a jazz player left the stage, giving a pause in the music. He was just a notch above average, in her opinion.

Raven found the heady smell beginning to pique her appetite. "Smells good."

"Yeah. Cyborg wants to cook some gumbo, but certain people are against it."

"Too bad for him. I'm sick of pizza and tofu dishes." She leaned back, settling in the chair. It was comfortable, but someone had turned up the heat in the club too much. But she was not looking forward to taking off her sweater.

It wasn't too long before a slender, doe-eyed blonde woman came to their table with a few menus in hand. Raven didn't care for the look she gave Robin, even if it was swift. "Evening, welcome to Shifty's. Can I get you something to drink?"

She did not expect Robin's answer. "A bottle of this place's white wine, please." he said, as naturally as an adult would. Despite the fact that he was still obviously a minor, let alone 21.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask for some..." The waitress hesitated at the wink he gave her and the one hundred dollar bill he slid in her direction. "One water, then." She quickly pocketed it and handed out two menus to each of the two teenagers. "Take your time. I'll be back in a few minutes with your orders." Looking very pleased with herself she slinked off.

"I'm surprised at you, Boy wonder. Bribes and underage drinking." Raven said, her tone having just a hint of mirth in it. She looked into her menu.

"I used to be a rich, spoiled poseur. I picked up a few things."

"Were one of those things tricking girls into going into sleazy joints?" She commented, showing him the menu. "'Sensual Jambalaya'? 'Amorous Alligator Tails?'"

Another advantage of Robin's mask, it hid his blush. Too bad, because he looked really cute when he did. "... I didn't know, really."

"I know. You don't seem like that kind of guy. Actually, really, when you're not in that costume... you seem sort of shy."

"That's because I am. People don't notice because girls are usually the ones that pull me into doing date stuff."

She couldn't help but feel good about that. She was the first one Robin asked out, rather than a lady asking him out. "You mean like Stephanie and Starfire? They're always hugging and hovering around you."

Robin raised an eyebrow at her. Raven wondered briefly whether she came off as jealous. "Despite what you saw in that lewd dream," he corrected, "'Spoiler' didn't hover around me nearly as much."

"Whatever. I think getting all giggly and huggy in public is lame."

He smiled lightly at her. "That's why I think I'm going to really like you."

She buried her nose into her menu, pretending to read intensely so he couldn't see her face. Thankfully, the waitress brought a bottle of wine with some fancy French label on it and a basket of freshly baked French bread. Reminding her that all she had for lunch was some ice cream. "Ready to order?" she asked, looking primarily at Robin again. "You know, you seem awfully familiar."

"I doubt it. I'm just vacationing from Gotham with my date." He paused, just long enough for the waitress to get the hint but not long enough for Raven to say anything. Not that she would have. "I just want some boiled crawfish and some dirty rice." he said, pointedly leaving off the titles.

"I just want oysters Rockefeller." She was a little startled at how vampy she made that sound, since the order already had a reputation as is. But she couldn't help it.

Her date and the waitress must've picked up on the subtext, too, as he looked abashed and she looked amused at Robin looking like that. "Sure. I'll be with your food in a little bit."

Another musician came up on stage. His brown skin was turned black through age and sun and he had quite the gut. Still, his trousers and blouse were very neat and he had a jolly expression on his face. He made some small talk with the audience with the microphone before playing on his saxophone. Even she had to admit that he was very good. The melody matched the mood of the restaurant perfectly. He started out with fluffy, light pieces at first... but by the end of the second song they were flowing into something darker, deeper.

This was very romantic. She felt her insides become warm and gooey. "I like this, Robin. I'll be happy to consider this your Christmas present. You usually get me something corny."

He looked a little hurt by that. "I thought you liked them. Well, in that terse, vaguely sarcastic way of yours." He was working on uncorking the wine with the fingers, as the waitress forgot to give them the screw.

"I never said I didn't. I just like smooth Robin better." Great, now she was flirting with him. He did seem interested in her, though. Robin filled both glasses, a hint of a smile on his face. She thought about her sweater. It did its job outside in the cold and she'd probably kill herself later for doing this... but she reached for the bottom of her sweater and pulled it over her head.

Well, seeing Robin's expression was worth it. He never expected her to be wearing that thin, tiny tank top underneath. Raven fought back the memory of that time at the beach, just enjoying the looks that he was giving her while trying not to stare. Something about him made her want to act girlish.

Trying to change the subject, he said, "Well... um, after this, do you want to get home? I kind of don't want them to catch us in these clothes. Especially you." His voice had that protective edge to it, which she was growing fond of. No wonder why even someone as sweet as Starfire got so possessive.

"Just what I was thinking." Out of nowhere, she felt a twinge of insecurity. It felt out of place with how she had been acting. Or rather, it reminded her that her current behavior was a deviation from how she usually was. "Robin, I... it's silly, but, I don't want you to think that this whole thing was some sort of pity-me setup."

"I don't. I've felt this way for awhile about you. I just never knew if you liked me or not."

"I have. It's just, I still feel heartbroken over Malchior... and what with the dreams and my power." She felt her stomach turn. Robin could still be in danger from all this. But instead of being a victim... he had actually saved her. If the dream bond grew deeper, could she trust him to save her? she wondered. "And I thought you were with Starfire. I thought I was just saving myself."

Though there had been periods of silence all throughout the date, this was the first one that really felt awkward. Both helped themselves to the wine and music and after a couple of glasses Raven found that she was relaxing again. The waitress brought over their food after a few minutes and left the tab at the table. She picked one of the half-shells off of the bed of rock salt, dipped it into the butter. Bliss. They ate their food without another word and the awkward period passed them by.

After he had sucked the meat out of the last crawfish shell, he smiled at her again. "Raven."

"Robin."

"I think I know the solution to all this, all the trouble you've been having."

She and the other Titans learned to be suspicious when he got that conspirational gleam in his eye. He usually did things by the book or predictably; when he didn't things like the Red X or the UFO sting operation came up. Yet she found herself genuinely curious and hopeful. "And...?"

"The bad dreams, they have a common theme to all of them... being unwanted. But, what if..." He leaned closer towards her. She was afraid that he was going to mention Slade, but he was being painstakingly tactful about it. "We did things in the real world made them moot?"

"You're losing me." she lied. Actually, she knew exactly what he had in mind. And was looking forward to it.

"You know. Really being together. Hanging out all of the time, cuddling and kissing, deep conversations, dates..." Robin was being demure. He didn't want to come off as too eager or forward. If only he knew.

Still, she couldn't resist the urge to tease him. "You conveniently sandwiched cuddling and kissing between neutral terms, I noticed."

He blushed again, which made it impossible to mask her own. He said, slowly, "Well, that is part of being boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Looking forward to it." She mumbled, placing another piece of fluffy bread in her mouth.

OOO

They got home at around nine PM. They didn't talk much at the club, just enjoying enough wine as to not get drunk and the jazz music. Since it was wintertime, it became as dark at it was going to get. They held hands on the way back and gradually moved closer to each other. By the time they got back to the Tower, Raven was practically embraced by Robin... though the wind was picking up and it was about to get bitterly cold, the dark girl did not want to put the sweater back on. She appreciated even the smallest touches of skin against his.

He led her up to her room, letting go reluctantly. "Guess we'd better get changed before the others come back. Well, ah, good night."

"Good night? Robin, what time did your parents used to make you go to bed? Why don't you come in?" She smiled invitingly at him and opened the door. Robin came in after. Almost all of her magical lights had gone out by now. Her room had just enough illumination in it to make it look mysterious.

"Sure. What do you want?"

She very pointedly closed the door after him. Though the other Titans weren't back yet, she just wanted the privacy. "Robin. I feel silly asking this, but... about the whole helping me thing." She sucked in air through her teeth and her voice felt very small. "I was wondering if we could... start that tonight."

Robin said nothing in response, only standing there for a few seconds. For a second, she thought that she had offended him. But then she felt his strong, birdlike arms around her waist, pulling her closer. He was standing in a shadow and she could barely see him, even so close to him. She suddenly felt vulnerable in just the tank top, especially as she felt his fingers trail along her bare sides.

She was up against him now, her legs pressed against his. The wine was combining with hormones to make her very warm. Again, she was struck with the urge to kiss him, but this time she knew that he desired the same. Raven pressed her lips against his, her clumsy first kiss. She wasn't expecting him to taste so good. He somehow snuck a few sticks of gum on the way back. Then she felt his. His sweet taste, combined with the firmness and softness made her spine tingle. Her hands slid up her new lover's chest, as she wasn't smushed completely against him, then up his neck and to his cheeks, cupping them. Raven loved the contrast between the way they kissed. Her many tiny, needy ones returned occasionally by an impossibly precise, deep mashing.

She groaned softly, running her fingers up his cheek and into his inky black hair. It felt soft and thick, like fur. A part of her hoped that he'd never use that stupid gel again. Her emotions were running wild, yet Raven had enough presence of mind to notice that nothing bad was happening. She was still in control. So she decided to give into passion. She felt his fingers slip underneath the straps and knead her shoulders for a few seconds before slipping them down to her elbows. Then she felt the fabric being pulled down, below her breasts and being bunched around her stomach.

Being undressed excited her immensely; unable to wait any longer, she pulled the the cloth up to his neck and bore her chest against his, sliding up and down. She could feel Robin's stance become unsettled for a second by her sudden forcefulness. The rising and sinking of torsos as they breathed would have been enough, but she could feel two opposing fingernails dig gently into the side of her bosom, tracing lines into the flesh. She felt his tongue sneak into her mouth. The combined sensation simply drove her wild. She broke the kiss, whimpering openly as she ground up and down her lover, enchanted with the feeling of his nipples against hers. Her hand slipped down to the waistband of his pants.

She did not expect for him to catch her wrist, stopping her. She looked at Robin with confused eyes. He smiled sadly at her. "Wait. This is just our first night together. I don't think we should go that far."

She cursed under her breath, but he was right. Still, Raven couldn't just wish her lust to begone. If only she didn't move so fast. They could still be enjoying this; the mood was killed now. "And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" she almost snapped. Her nipples were painfully stiff by now and wanted more.

"I'm certain you'll think of something." He grinned, stepping back. She unwillingly let go and just stared at him. Perhaps she could change his mind if she looked longing enough. It didn't work, though, as he pulled the hem back down. "See you tomorrow?"

"Cute. Anyway, good night, Robin." Her voice was affectionate but still had enough edge in it to let him know that she wasn't pleased being left like this.

He kissed her on the cheek one last time and left, leaving her alone. She flopped on her bed into a pillow. She had fantasized about doing that before, many of times, but to her dismay it happened a lot faster than she wanted to. But it felt so good... and sexual pleasure was something she got so little of, which was dangerous with these newfound hormones. She didn't change back into her leotard, yet, hugging a pillow against her. She rubbed against it, enjoying the cool pillow sheet against bare flesh, but it was quite inadequate.

After she had calmed down, she indeed did change. She heard the others trounce down the hallway and felt a strange source of pride. He wanted to be with her more than anything today. It wasn't exactly the dream date, but as far as she was concerned such a thing didn't exist. No, this was more than satisfying for her.

She thought about Starfire and how she would react to this secret romance, about Christmas, about many things... and found that it just didn't matter. She felt heavenly. So Robin really did want to love her. Trigon, Slade, everyone... they were wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Since she was invited onto the team, Raven always had the vague sense that she saw something special in him.

She crawled underneath the covers after gathering her thoughts, soon falling asleep. She did not dream that night and neither did Robin, but it didn't matter. It was the most restful sleep she had in the longest time.