Author's Notes:  This story is a little diddy that's been floating through my mind for a while.  I'm writing this for my enjoyment and for the enjoyment of others.  I have no aspirations to become a professional writer and view scathing, sarcastic commentary as a sign of mental illness. (In other words, criticism is welcome if it is constructive.  If you don't know how to do this, then learn the art as it is perhaps the most lucrative job and social skill one can hone.) 

I hope you enjoy. 

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Chapter 3 – Saturday Brunch

"Oh, it's just a small affair, nothing even remotely formal," Petunia explained to the mysterious neighbor woman.  "Since you were so kind regarding the sugar and we did want to meet you we felt that there was no better time than the present.  I do hope you didn't eat breakfast?"

"The morning news culled my appetite, although I was not much of a breakfast person to being with.  Petunia, correct?" the woman inquired.

"Yes, Petunia Dursley," Petunia smiled.  "And I'm afraid I didn't catch your name?"

"I didn't offer it," the woman replied.  Sensing immediately she was out of bounds, she added, "Rudy… err… Rudy Setangler."

"Well, Rudy," Petunia offered, "Should I plan on you attending, say in about an hour or so.  I know it is short notice, but… when opportunity knocks…"

"Yes, of course," Rudy replied nervously.  "May I bring anything?"

"Oh, such short notice, heavens no," Petunia replied.  "Just yourself."  She smiled and then backed away, turning to leave and heard the door shut behind her.

~***~

"Moody, I refuse to morph into Dursley here," Tonks said as she entered the living room after making the invitation.  "She said she'd be over, but we'll have to wait and see."

"Now what?" Petunia asked.  "Are you going to leave soon?"

"Do you want us to leave now that we invited her over here?" Moody asked with a sneer.  "Even YOU are not that dense.  Don't worry, we'll take cover and when the time is right…"

"Wham!" Harry said with relish, clapping his hands together as if he were swatting a fly.

~***~

As Petunia busied herself in the kitchen trying to prepare something decent from the little food she had (as Saturday was her grocery shopping day and she steadfastly refused the Freaks' help in conjuring up something) she nearly jumped as the doorbell rang.  Vernon rose from his seat, his hard reddened face softened a little as he tried to take a few calming breaths.  "It'll be okay, Petunia," Vernon said.  "Hopefully this will end the nonsense quickly and we can get on with our day."

He walked purposefully to the door and opened it.  There stood a well-groomed woman clad in a tailored light grey blouse and tan pleated trousers.  She wore leather sandals that matched her belt and a little bit of jewelry, including a silver necklace with a small charm bearing a snake relief.  She was carrying a fine porcelain dish with a cover.  Vernon forced a smile, perhaps the woman noticed as she regarded him strangely.  "Rudy Setangler, I presume?" he offered a large meaty hand, "Always good to meet new neighbors."

"Thank you," she replied, shaking his hand quickly using her free arm and then letting go.  Seeing that he stepped to the side, she walked in and paused while he closed the door behind him.  "I see that the homes on the drive share the same floorplan," she said distractedly. 

"They are large homes," he replied quickly and escorted her into the kitchen on their way to the dining table.  Stopping along the way, he called over to Petunia, who was busy cooking, trying to consume herself in the task so she wouldn't allow the fear to overcome her.  "Petunia, our guest has arrived."  Petunia turned and greeted the woman, then quickly returned to her preparations.

Ushering him to a nearby seat, Vernon pulled up a chair next to her, glancing occasionally over to the fireplace.  "So, tell us about yourself."  Seeing her balk, he then offered, again shooting a quick glare at the fireplace, "I am Vernon and, of course, my wife.  I work for a company that makes and sells drills while my wife does a fantastic job of taking care of the house.  My son, Dudley, goes to boarding school during the school year, Smeltings… you might have heard of it."  He forced a smile as the witch nodded 'no'.  "Oh a very fine school, I am an alumnus of it myself."

"You have a nephew?" Rudy asked.  "Where are the boys?" she asked, "Are they not joining us?"

"It was such a fine day.  A little cooler and less humid than the weather we've been having.  I think they went to the park for a few hours.  I'm sure they'll be back soon.  You know boys and food, you can't keep enough in the house.  Did you come from a large family?" Petunia asked, shocked that she actually drew up enough courage.

"Not really, just my elder brothers and myself.  The eldest is six years older than I, while the second is two.  It seemed, though, that we had a constant houseful of their friends…"

"Oh, I know," Petunia said with a squeak. "Dudley is always bringing his friends here.  The lot of them eat me out of house and home."  She wiped her hands and then turned the pans on the stove to simmer before proceeding over.  "Ah I see that you've brought something.  How kind of you."

"I was able to whip it up quickly," Rudy answered.  "Blood pudding.  An old friend of my brother's loved it.  It's his mother's old family recipe.  I brought just a small bit, as it was all I had, besides it is quite filling for Brunch."

Looking at the fireplace and then over to Rudy, Petunia asked, "So, what do you do?  I noticed you leave early in the morning and don't return until late?"

"Quite inquisitive, aren't you?" Rudy said coldly.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Petunia feigned ignorance, "It so happens that our schedules coincide… I just assumed you worked in London and the commute was long."

"I see," Rudy then offered a small smile, but continued to eye the two up suspiciously.  "I am on Sabbatical now, although I am doing a bit of private consulting to make ends meet.  I was in banking."

"Ah, an interesting area," Vernon noted, trying to pull along the conversation.  "I'm trying to steer Dudley into that area.  Mergers and Acquisitions—have to be a real cut-throat to go into that."

"I was in Business Development," Rudy answered, her eyes glittering strangely, as if the conversation amused her.  "Finding new resources, exploration, that sort of thing.  Not a desk job."

"Oh, I see," Petunia said, "Now you do private consulting.  I assume along the same lines?"

"Not exactly," Rudy answered, "I render a few services here and there.  It would be difficult to explain exactly, one of those things about the industry, I suppose."  She folded her hands in her lap, "So, your nephew, Harry, where does he go to school?  Smeltings as well?"  She smiled coyly as she made her inquiry.

"No, another school," Vernon said.  "The boy's a bit unstable.  It specializes in unruly and incorrigible adolescents."

"Hmm," she smiled, "I knew more than my share of those types myself.  But I am quite interested in talking with him.  Quite a quick study on owls…" As she ended her sentence, a loud crack of cloth grabbed her attention and she turned in her chair to face the fireplace.  Three wizards stood there, their wands drawn as an invisibility cloak lay in a puddle at their feet.

"All right, Lestrange, the ruse is up," Moody snarled.  "Taking a page from big-brother Rodolphus, are we?  Sneaking into an unsuspecting Muggle neighborhood, creeping in nice and close to Harry, biding your time.  So, I assume you know where they are?"

"You don't understand!" Rudy rose from her chair and began to back away slowly, her eyes panning around to find some sort of escape.

"Don't bother to apparate away from here, unless you want to be splinched," Remus warned, "we put wards up…"

"I had no idea… until yesterday," Rudy looked scared, "I know they've been trying to reach me, but I've been blocking all owls… you don't understand.  I'm here because I don't want them to find me.  This is a mistake…"

"You didn't register!" Moody bellowed, "You know the rules Ruedella!  You have not been acting like an innocent witch…"

Taking a deep breath, Ruedella disappeared with a soft 'pop' and reappeared on the other side of the room.  Pulling out her wand, she yelled 'Stupify' and a blast of yellow light ripped over Remus, Tonks, and Moody, rendering them unconscious.  Keeping her wand up, she made her way over to the trio and carefully picked up theirs off the floor.  "You," she pointed at Vernon, "I hate to be a rude guest… excuse the pun," she said with a half-smile, still concentrating on the task at hand.  "Sit!" She motioned her wand at the chair.  After he sat, she walked a few steps over, her back to the kitchen and pointed her wand at him.  Ropes flew from the end, binding the man to the chair.

"That should hold you until they wake up," she said.  Depositing the wands on the table, she went to turn, but then fell to the ground as she felt a heavy object smash into her head.

Vernon looked at his wife, who bore a triumphant expression on her face and a large iron frying pan in her hands.  "Bloody Freaks," she said as she prodded her foot into the unconscious woman's side.  "They aren't very competent, are they?"

~***~

"I really don't remember her that well.  A few prefect meetings but that's about it.  Albus, it was a very long time, that's why I didn't recognize her," Remus explained.  "Regardless, I don't think it was wise bringing her here."

"She is currently unconscious and I am summoning medical aid as we speak.  She is well bound and secured, for the moment I do not see her as a threat." Dumbledore replied, watching the woman who lay on the old battered couch in 12 Grimmauld Place.  "When her injuries are attended to, I will allow Mad Eye to take her in custody."

"Are you mad?" Remus asked, but was hushed.

"Kreacher?" Dumbledore called out.  Not hearing a reply immediately, but seeing the dull grey of a small head peering around a nearby corner, he called again, "Kreacher?"

The aged house elf popped it head out.  Seeing Dumbledore motion with his long, ancient fingers, the elf snorted and then hobbled over, looking at the wizard in disdain as it shuffled along.  It was a terrible time for a house Elf, when their master dies and the heir has yet to be announced.  "What!?" the thing asked.

"I would appreciate it if you could fetch clean warm water and some additional bandages.  Molly Weasley will be here shortly with some healing potions and to change the dressings on her wounds."

"And why should I help?" the elf said with disgust.  Approaching the witch, he studied her.  "I know her.  You've harmed her… she was a friend of Master Regulus.  Fine family…"

"She was caught trying to harm Harry Potter," Dumbledore explained.  "She was injured during her capture and we wish to provide assistance before she is taken to Ministry headquarters."

"She is a friend of purebloods?" Kreacher asked.  "I will help her then."

"Thank you Kreacher," Dumbledore said with a smile.  "Remus, come with me, there's much to discuss."

~***~

"Ruedella… psstt… Ruedella!  Wake up!"  Narcissa Malfoy forced her face in between the bars.  An hour or two before the guards had dragged in the witch, apparently unconscious, muttering to themselves how she managed to find Harry Potter and try to kill him.  Narcissa was never sure about Ruedella's loyalties and the fact that immediately after school the witch joined Gringotts as a curse breaker and traveled the world, separating herself from the Dark Lord's circle—assuming, Narcissa considered—if the girl was ever offered membership, made her question this even more.  However, the information from the guards made it appear that Ruedella was indeed a snake in the grass.

"Who is that, Mum?" Draco asked, getting up from the stone bench.

"Ruedella Lestrange," she replied quickly.  "Didn't you hear?"

"I didn't hear her name," Draco admitted.  "She found Harry Potter's location?  I thought that some secret-keeper would have it…"

"Dumbledore is clever and seeing that a secret-keeper didn't keep him safe the last time, he probably counted on hiding the boy under our very noses."  Narcissa turned back to the bars.  "Ruedella… Rue…"

"What is it you bloody Muggle!" Ruedella lashed out in a stupor.

"I am not a Muggle!" Narcissa yelped out.  "I will assume that your head injury is keeping you…"

"What!" Ruedella bolted up, and then moaned in pain from the sudden movement.  "Oh gods…" she held her head.  "Where am I?"

"The holding facility in the Ministry," Narcissa explained.  "Draco and I are being held in 'protective custody' given that Lucius recently escaped.  Our solicitor should have us out soon.  As for you… it appears that you will be on your way to Azkaban.  But fear not, as the Dementors no longer guard the prison and the Dark Lord will arrange escape for those who have been loyal.  I will tell him myself of your deeds, Ruedella."  Narcissa beamed at the younger witch who was still groaning and holding her head.

As she watched Ruedella collect herself, Narcissa backed away and took a seat next to her son.  "We will be out soon, Draco," she consoled.  "They did this because they were afraid that your Father and the other would contact us.  However, Draco, others are working to help them—allies who work right under their noses."  She ran her fingers through her son's hair, absently noticing how much like a man he had become and how much he looked like his father.  She sighed and began to get up again to check on Ruedella, slowing her pace as she heard the heavy iron doors unlock.

~***~

"I don't know, Professor Snape," the guard remarked as he and the tall Potions Master walked into the holding area.  "She was apprehended in their living room and she doesn't strike me as one to join Muggles for tea."

"She is a witch on sabbatical who took up residence in a Muggle area.  I cannot understand her choice, but that it itself is not illegal.  She had sent in her registration to the Ministry, but as we found out, the paperwork got lost in that bureaucratic nightmare.  Her return owl-receipt was found in her home when they searched it.  The Lestrange family solicitor is handling the details, I suggest you ask him.  I, in the meanwhile, am a family friend and her Grandfather requested that I arrange the bond and look after her given that he and her Grandmother reside in France."

The guard simply shrugged and proceeded to open Ruedella's cell.  "Ok, little princess, prince charming has come to your rescue."

"Professor Snape!" a voice called from the cell behind them.  The Potions Master turned to see his favorite student.

"I see that the Ministry has been busy locking up the innocent," Severus growled.  "I trust, Mister Malfoy, that arrangements have been made." He nodded at Narcissa, "I did see your solicitor just a few moments before.  It should not be long."

"You're taking her?" Narcissa asked, curious.  Lucius always thought highly of the man, although he came from a questionable family and station.  He had, however, managed to see to Slytherin welfare and was an important set of eyes for Lucius when needed.  The amazing part, Lucius sometimes wondered to her, was how Snape managed to work so efficiently right under Dumbledore's nose.

"She has no home," Severus walked over to the woman, "At least until the Ministry is through with its' rather trite investigation.  And, as even you can see, Narcissa, she is injured.  I think it is important that we take care of our own, do you not?"

"Of course, Severus," Narcissa agreed.

The guard entered the cell and helped Ruedella to her feet.  "Up you go," he chided and then guided her over to the door.

"I can walk myself, you fool!" Ruedella slapped away the guard's helping hand.  She glanced at Severus and then over to Narcissa who was proudly looking on, as if she were some martyr.  Looking Severus up and down, she pulled back her hand and slapped him across the face.  "Now that we are even," Ruedella pronounced with a huff, "You can take me home."

"Now that's hardly a welcome for a wizard who posted your bail," the guard noted, folding his arms.

"He will be repaid, he knows this and otherwise would not have come," Ruedella replied with a snarl.  "He knows what the slap is for."

"Now that we are 'even,'" Snape said in a low dangerous drawl as he rubbed his face, her hand mark a brilliant red across his sallow face, "I suggest that we go home."  Noticing her improper attire, he derided, "I do say Ruedella, that your taste in clothing had always been absurd, but I am at a loss at to whether I should wrap you in a cloak or throw candy at you."

"She does look stupid," Draco began, but was immediately shut up by his mother.

"Oh, Mister Malfoy, she more than looks it, I assure you," Snape commented in a silky drawl.  "Her entire first year she carried around a plain sandstone rock, convinced it was a bezoar, and dropped it in her goblet at every meal."

"Given that you slipped something into Slatero Quirrell's drink and caused him to stutter forevermore, who could blame me!" she spat back.  "Then my fourth year you tried to poison me at the Yule Ball."

"I simply tried to knock you out," he replied sharply.  "You would not shut up the entire evening.  Constant blathering about some article in Witch Weekly and the most charming smile award."

"Then why take me as your date?" Ruedella slammed back.

"Because your brother put a wand to my head!" Severus replied with a terse sneer.  "For some reason he did enjoyed making my life a living hell and forcing you on me was some perverse way to torture me."

"Forcing ME on YOU!" Ruedella backed into the cell and then slammed the door shut.  "He was the one always telling me what a fine bloke you were.  For your information, Snivellus, Rabastan threatened that if I didn't go to the Yule Ball with you that he'd kill my kneazel!"

"Don't you DARE call me SNIVELLUS!" Snape roared.  Commanding the guard he snapped, "Open the cell door!"

"I'm staying here… Sniv-el-lus…" Ruedella pronounced with exaggeration, smiling as his black eyes flared with anger.

"YOU ARE COMING WITH ME!" Severus yelled.  Calming down somewhat, he added, "I will carry you over my shoulder if I must."

"I will kick and scream," she protested.

"Do not be that dense, Ruedella, lest someone start questioning if there is some Flint in your family line.  I would body bind you first, of course.  Unless you wish to come with me quietly, like the fine witch your upbringing suggests."  Severus leaned against the cell door, his arms crossed.  Nodding to the guard, he said again, "Let her out."

Ruedella slowly stepped forward.  "You have my wand?"

"Yes, it was the only personal effect, save for your jewelry.  They are safe on me and I will return them when we get to my house."

"I see," she walked up to him, reaching out her fingers and running them down his chest.  "I should be more grateful for your assistance," she said coquettishly.  Carefully tracing her fingers down the black material of his vest, she felt a long thin piece of wood in his left vest inner pocket.  "Is that a wand in your vest, or you just happy to see me?"  Her fingers darted quickly under the material, but were not quick enough.  Severus' cold fingers grasped her hand and then pulled her closer.

"I said that I would return your wand… later…" He positioned his head down, so his mouth was even with her ear and said softly, but loud enough so the Malfoys could overhear if they tried (and they were indeed trying desperately to absorb every word), "I have more interesting ways for you to display your gratitude and may I suggest that they do involve getting out of these silly Muggle clothes?"

"Ohh-kkaayyy!" The guard slammed the cell door closed and patted Severus on the arm.  "Enough of the Slytherin foreplay already.  Dinner's coming up and I won't wish to ruin my appetite.  You can use the floo outside of the main office."  He motioned for the two to follow him out.  Turning to the Malfoys who were looking on, he muttered, "Lovely couple…" and then made a fake spitting sound.

After the iron door closed, Draco turned to his mother, completely stunned by the event he had just witnessed.

"When we get home I will make sure that Rabastan and Rodolphus know where she's at," Narcissa said softly, cautious that no one could overhear.

"I'm sure that she will be…" Draco began but was cut-off by his mother's raised hand.

"Professor Snape is a fine wizard and one whom is appropriate to head Slytherin House.  I am please the Dumbledore has not tried to replace him.  However, as you very well know, some families are better than others.  Snape is a fine colleague, but not of the level that he could be considering an affair with a member of a family like the Lestranges.  I am shocked that Rabastan even encouraged such a thing.  Youthful ignorance, I suppose.  However, I fear that Severus will work this to his advantage…"

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