Chapter Twenty-Eight

Horatio found her staring down at the water, tears streaming down her face. "Emma. What is it? What happened?" He asked, feeling his heart clench in his chest with concern. She turned to him and with a wail threw her arms around him and sobbed. He held on tightly, stroking her hair. "In the name of God, Emma. Tell me."

"I... k.kk.k..killed him." She hiccupped.

"Good, God. Who?" Horatio asked shocked, pulling back. For a split second he thought, hoped, she meant Jack Simpson. The guilty thought made him sick inside and Horatio took in a gulp of salty air.

"I...I don't even know...I don't know what his name was...is...Oh bother!" Emma cried burying her face in Horatio's uniform. When her sobs calmed, Horatio asked her to explain herself.

"I wasn't paying attention. I was so afraid that you were up here amid the fighting at...and...and you were! What the devil were you doing up here? You're in no condition to do battle with anybody. I specifically said-"

"Emma-"Horatio interrupted.

"Said that you were only supposed to-"

"Emma-"

"Go for a walk. Why on earth-" Emma continued furiously. Horatio, seeing he was getting no where trying to interrupt her grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her. She clutched him close and responded so eagerly after an initial moment of shock that Horatio had to use every ounce of will power to pull away.

"Now then." Horatio said clearing his throat. "By all means, I give you free reign to scold me later. For now, please explain what you're going on about." Emma let her head fall forward onto his chest and for a moment, Horatio feared she was going to start crying again but she shivered against him and then sniffled. Stepping back, he watched her wrap her arms around herself to stop the shivers bursting through her.

"I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing and I severed an artery."

"Oh God." Horatio said closing his eyes and pulled her back tighter against him. She gripped his jacket in his fists.

"There was so much blood, Horatio. I was afraid I'd never get it to stop. He's lost so much...He likely won't last the night." Emma moaned dampening his jacket with fresh tears. "I can't do this...I can't." She began to cry again and Horatio kissed the top of her head.

"I don't know if this will comfort you or not, but even our previous doctor wasn't able to save everyone on his table. We lost many men, Emma and the man had years on you. I don't know what possesses you to take this on this terrible profession.

My father is not a man given to displays of emotion but I could see what it cost him every time he lost a patient in his care.

You're here and you're needed. You make a mistake, you learn and you certainly don't give up because of one set back. My father told me that, and now I'm telling you." Horatio said wiping at the tears on her face.

Emma stiffened her spine and looked up at him, determined. But she still felt doubt deep in her stomach.

"Horatio, what if I can't do this? What if I cost you more lives then I save?"

"You cannot let yourself dwell on what ifs. If you want to gain the respect of the men, you get back down there and you do your job." Horatio insisted with a nod. Though his manner was more curt than Emma would have liked, Emma stiffened and nodded. Coddling would not help her now. She had a job to do and there were men in sick bay who still needed her.

"My father tried to cultivate a sense of detachment when dealing with his patients. I don't know if he ever succeeded but I think it's what would help you most now."

"I don't know if I can be detached." Emma sniffled, wiping her nose.

"Then you pretend that you are." Horatio said, with a small grin. "Now let's get back below. You can help re-attach my head after the captain knocks it off my body." He placed a re-assuring hand at her back and led her back down to the sick berth.

"Why that is the most barbaric thing I've ever heard of!" Emma protested as Matthews explained to her how her husband was to be punished by being bound up in the rigging for the night.

"Better than a flogging. Just be a might cold and if he's lucky, it won't rain." The old man said while she examined the wound in her thigh.

"Well, let's pray for that small mercy, at least." Emma said. Then she stepped over a few of the sleeping men to get to Archie who sat with his back against the wall, holding his broken hand in his lap.

It was still difficult to meet his eyes after he had burst in on her earlier but necessity had forced away any embarrassment temporarily when he'd been brought in with three broken fingers, a cracked wrist and a thumb sliced open.

Emma handed him a cup of brandy. "Can't sleep?" She asked him crouching down beside him.

"Thank you." Archie said taking the offered cup. "And no." He replied taking a deep shaky breath. He drank deep.

"You could take the table if you need to lie down." Emma suggested. Archie gave her a small pale smile.

"No. You go on and take it. I can sleep anywhere. When my hand's not mangled, that is." He said examining the bandaged hand in his lap.

"Barring infection, it should be all right, I think." Emma assured him. Her gaze went to Simpson, across the room, staring at them. She gritted her teeth in irritation. "You'll heal quicker if you sleep, Mr. Simpson." She suggested pointedly.

"Sleep better in my own bed. Don't you, Kennedy?" Simpson asked, his voice thick with some hidden meaning. Emma turned back to her friend. He was staring down, studying the bandages around his hand. His cheeks were two red splotches in an otherwise pale, clammy face. His red hair was nearly brown with painful sweat. Emma deliberately placed herself in front of Archie so that his vision of Simpson would be blocked and Simpson's of him.

"I hope it's not too cold out there tonight." Emma said, trying to divert Archie's attention with conversation.

"He'll be fine." Archie replied curtly. Emma started at his brisk tone. Archie closed his eyes and then softened his tone. "He's been through worse. Go get some sleep. You're exhausted." Archie noticed.

A.N:

Camreyn: Thank you as always for the feedback. Chapter 26 was a little peek into Archie's head to let us know what it was that Simpson was holding over him without having to get graphic about it. I don't shy away from that stuff; it just wasn't the time. Archie definitely underestimates himself, Horatio tries but if you don't really believe it, it doesn't matter what others say, right? Archie will grow into his own confidence through out this story. I won't spill the beans over what happens with Simpson as I don't want to spoil it for you but I can tell you that Pellew is not the one who kills him in my story. And of course, the bathtub scene was one of my favorite things to write, partly for it's humor and also for the extra punch of having Archie's crush on Emma thrown into the equation. But of course, Emma is just as oblivious as her husband. (laughs) And thankie about the note on the detail. I'm trying to throw in a bit more. I'm thrilled you like the chapter titles! I try to make them reference the chapter and be catchy at the same time. Her scene with Simpson was another of my favorites. Very intense moment there and a hint of things to come. Emma is not as bound by honor and duty as Horatio is. Yeah, unfortunately we can't get rid of Simpson just yet. (smiles)

I really wanted to impress how very green Emma is and how essentially she is still a child in a grown up world. This ship is causing her to grow up very quickly and as much as she welcomes challenge and all that, it does scare her. I'm glad her human-ness came through.

I'm relieved the scenes where Emma's dealing with the men came across as I wanted. Fast-paced, frightening and very panicky. She's thrown straight into it. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Sweet A.K: Archie does lend himself to cuddles doesn't he? (smiles) I'm so glad the intensity came through. As lighthearted as Archie is, he can be given to intense thoughts. And we finally learn what Archie's big secret was. I'm thrilled you enjoyed the chapter and hope you continue to enjoy as I torture these poor souls.(laughs) Don't worry, there will be happiness and nookie to balance it out.(winks) Thanks for your great feedback! And yes, I do enjoy me some Crumpet. He's so yummy and sweet and tasty...IT I mean it is tasty. (winks)