Morning. Get up, get food, get into uniform, get to work.
Paste a stupid smile on your face.
Pretend that nothing matters.
Pretend you're not lying.
•••
He was in a war infinitely worse than the Ishvar war, infinitely more wearing and crushing. It was a war of wills, to see who would break first. It was stupid and petty, but Mustang doesn't want a breakable soldier. He needs Havoc too much to have him shatter at grueling mental monotony and cruelty. He already has a faithful cat (not dog – Hawkeye is too strong and too much in command of herself to be a dog) in the only woman in their group. He needs someone made out of steel, someone who can pretend they're not hurting.
He's the king, and he already has his queen, jack, and ace. What he needs is the Joker in the deck, a wildcard who would make the game if possessed. He needs someone who can pretend that everything's okay even if it's not. He needs a clown, a comedian, a jester, a fool.
It disturbs Havoc that he can see that much. What disturbs him more is where he can see this going. Things are nearing the end, and he's aware of what's at stake and where's it's going to end.
And if he isn't at Mustang's side for it, all the better.
He's the jester, the fool, the Joker. He's the duckblind for a man that's willing to risk everything, including that which is nearest and dearest to his heart. He's a double-faced card, drawing the attention away from the others, flashy enough to distract but strong enough to win on his own.
But if Mustang plays his cards right, he won't have to win on his own.
••••••
Sorry for the lack of updates recently. I've been busy, and then I got smacked with a terrible case of writer's block. (Rebound doesn't count, because that's collaboration and there's TWO driving forces on that)
This is probably going to be my last update for a while. I leave on Friday the eighth to go to Cleveland for a day. Then we're going to NYC until the following... Tuesday/Wednesday. Hang out a bit in Gettysburg, then get home in time for Ikasucon 2005. If any of my readers are going to be there, I'll be dressed like Izumi Curtis with an Ed so come say hey if you can.