Entry 80

I am quite used to this place now and understand the basic concept of how things work. I find myself quite comfortable, though this place is not the most conducive to a happy lifestyle. Lack of funding and time deprives this place of things most countries have. They must concentrate upon survival, and spiritual care is secondary to that. It is a very somber energy which fills this place. The presence of this energy strengthens my desire to help. New ideas come to me all the time in regards to how things could be improved.

I must say, this place is considerably more beauraucratic than any other country I have ever seen. It almost seems as if one needs a permit to breathe. I have been here for at least a month now, and still there is much paperwork that must be completed on me. I shall have to study the way in which Zaibach's adminitration works. I am certain there is much that could be changed for the better. No one can be that slow.

The situation as to the development of my usefulness here has improved. I am to become apprenticed to one of Zaibach's revered scientists, which should prove very interesting. It will be good to have some direction in my studies and help with things I can not learn on my own. If I do well, I may be able to spend some of my apprenticeship doing actual work. I would appreciate that, as it would alleviate some of my feelings of anomie.

My living quarters arrangement will change along with that. To conserve space, of which Zaibach has a limited amount, communal living quarters are used for housing citizens of different specialties. I will be sent to one for those of the intelligence, medical, and scientific community. It seems they would be more my kind of people than the soldiers and average citizens I have met, so that will be good. I am supposed to have a roommate, and am unsure about that. I've never been deprived of the luxury of being able to hide away from others in solitude. I don't know what that will be like, though I am certain I will be able to handle it.

I think I will study some more after this to help myself be prepared. I would like to make a good impression upon my new master. I would regret repeating the mistakes I made when working with Balgus.

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Entry 95

If the community here is decently represented by my roommate, I think I shall kill myself. I honestly don't know how someone could be as reprehensible as Kieko. I have mentioned several times in this record that he bothers me constantly when I write. He kidnapped this journal, and now devotes his full attention to annoying the hell out of me when I write or study, as he is doing at the present moment I don't know how I could ever grow to respect Zaibach's anthem when he sings it so atrociously.

I have attempted to get to know him and have discovered that we are as different as we possibly could be.

He cares deeply for Zaibach and his deepest wish is to accomplish its goals. That is as much as we share. He cares nothing for anyone outside of that, which strikes me as odd. How can someone care for their country and yet hate everyone else that they know? It would seem that love for country begins with love for individual people and the latter can not exist without the former.

He seems to lack any sort of respect for animals. I have witness more than once his senseless torture of them. I have spoken to my master about his activities, only to be told that it is perfectly acceptable, and that if I am to succeed in this field I must not be so sensitive. It drags on my nerves, but I will do my best to restrain myself from saying anymore. I would not like to lose my place here. There is far too much work to be done to let it be delayed by that idiot's actions.

As for his devotion to his work, he manages to actually care enough about it to learn his trade. I don't know how that works. The idiot doesn't care about a thing. Especially not my things. Which he is now trashing.

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Entry 96

I now have a new roommate. His name is Haruno. He is out at the moment, having decided to visit friends for much of the night.

I have been further warned that usage of the scalpel and other medical instruments is to be reserved for use in the lab and emergencies only. I have been further advised that violent actions will not be tolerated.

I feel unjustly persecuted. I would have done nothing, were it not that I was severly provoked. I must study if I am to be good at what I do, and he was disturbing the peace I need in order to do that. I had tried to get the issue resolved by using the chain of authority. However, no one deemed the issue important They seem to think I must be high maintenance because I am from another country.

My reputation has, since I've been here, degraded considerably. Rumors of every style and size have travelled far about me. I suppose it is because they do not know me, and there are not many people who come into this community that are not natural citizens.

Even my master, Karuko, seems to share the negative view people so often hold about me here. However, in his mind, this reputation is secondary to my skills, and so I do not mind as much. At least he will judge me fairly.

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Entry 120

Damnit, I shall kill myself!

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Entry 160

It was damned hard to convince them to let me have my journal, but I'm certainly glad that it happened. I don't think it right of them to treat me like this. I've been locked up for a few days now. It's beginning to get to me. These steel walls closing in on me. It makes me wonder if there still is a world out there. Perhaps there isn't. Perhaps it just all dissapeared that day. I don't really know. I'm sure they wouldn't tell me.

They keep giving me medicine. Or trying to, at least. I don't see what good it does. It makes me feel hazy and ill. I have asked repeatedly to see Master Karuko, but either he isn't allowed to come here or he simply does not wish to. I wish he would just come and check on me. I'm sure he wouldn't agree with them. They tell me there is something wrong with me, that I'm ill. But I know the truth. They lie to me because they hate me. I don't know why they hate me, but they do. They've read through this journal and bother me endlessly about the entries. Most often they ask about the numerous ones in which I mention how I shall kill myself. They ought to have realized I wasn't serious. I was just frustrated...so very frustrated.

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Entry 249

Master Karuko has finally come to see me! I was overjoyed at the chance to speak with him. He told me that my work has been reviewed and it has been decided that I should take a place in a small group of scientists, headed by Lord Korrade. I have never met the great Lord Korrade, but I have heard wonderful things about him. His is one of the more important groups in Zaibach.

I am so very thankful for the chance I am being given. These months of doing nothing...they make me appreciate so much more what little work I was being given. I have been told that before I settle in, the Emperor would like to speak with me once more. I shall be glad to hear his wise words once more.

(((Author's notes: Okay, so this is a pitiful amount of wordage. I'm sorry. I haven't really been writing fanfic lately. I feel guilty for starting so many fics and not continuing them, so I thoughtI ought to at least put something out. (I've had most of this chapter sitting on my computer for a long time now...)

I didn't feel that this chapter needed the stuff behind the scenes written out. I was going tow rite it, but it just seemed complete to me. So...I may write the between stuff in later, but it'll probably stay like this.

I have another fic I am currently working on about the sorcerers. Korrade is an important character of it. I have one chapter finished and nearly a second. I don't want to post it until I have at least three or four, though.

Until the next update, fair winds and fair seas.)))