Um... Sorry, random Spanish moment (Legnalos, they're contagious!). Anyways, sorry for not updating earlier. Really, I'm soooooo sorry! But, I had a lot of homework, and then, my computer went down, it had 5 viruses-not 1, FIVE! And then, I had exams! Horrible, horrible exams!
...Oh, yea, and I also watched 'Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith' –and what a great movie that is! It's the return of Darth Vader! The Emperor ROCKS! And Grievous! He was so cool! Even his death was cool, with the fire coming out of his e-WHOOP! I should shut up! If someone hasn't watched the movie yet, I might be spoiling it! Anyways, read the story!
CHAPTER 6: The Cave of Wonder... thingy
"Whoa!" Said Robin, looking at the room they were in. It was filled to the top with the most weird treasures you could imagine: jewels, precious stones, golden coins, treasure chests, marble statues and famous paintings were everywhere. "Look at this place, Cy! With just a handful we would become richer than the King!"
"BOO-YAH!" Said Cyborg, quickly running to grab some of the exotic treasures.
"STOP!" Yelled Robin. Cyborg stopped, with his hand just an inch away from a big blue pearl. "Remember, we can't touch anything but the lamp!"
"Oh, yeah…" Said Cyborg, a little bit annoyed. "And where's that friggin' lamp anyway, man?"
"Uh… I don't know…" Robin then turned around, waiting to see the lamp somewhere, but he didn't find it. "I guess we will just have to… look for it."
"Yeah, right! Haven't you seen this place, man? It's huge! It would take us YEARS to find that thing!"
"Well, we better hurry, then."
"Aw, man! I hate you and the way your mind works!"
And so, our friends started looking for the lamp, which was a very hard thing to do when you're supposed to not touch anything. After making sure the lamp wasn't there, they started walking through a tunnel at the end of the chamber. Although the walls, ceiling and floor were those of a round tunnel, there were more statues and paintings in the walls, and huge rugs covered the floor.
"What I want to know…" Said Cyborg. "Is why is this called the Cave of Wonder bras, since I haven't seen not a single wonder bra."
They kept walking, until the tunnel ended. All that was in front of them now, apart from rock, were what looked like the metal doors of an elevator. Robin tried to put one of his gloved fingers on the door, and it opened without advice. It was, indeed, and elevator, and a very fancy one, with a red carpet covering the floor and classic music playing in the background. Robin and Cyborg looked at each other, and then, they walked in, a little bit nervous.
"Now, where should we go?" Said Robin, looking at the buttons. They had no label or anything pointing where each one took you.
"Hey, look!" Robin turned around at Cyborg's voice, and discovered that in the elevator's wall was hanging a huge map of the cave itself. Robin followed from the "ENTRANCE" to the "TREASURE CHAMBER", then through the tunnel they had just passed and into the "ELEVATOR". In there was a little black spot with a sign that read: "YOU ARE HERE, WE ARE NOT." After this, Robin inspected the rest of the map. It looked quite like a labyrinth, and it showed that the cave was huge, but there was no sign of the lamp.
"Lets just punch one of these buttons and see where it takes us." Said Cyborg and, without waiting for Robin's reply, he did as he said. The door closed and the elevator started moving downwards. It stopped suddenly, the doors opened, and a guy in a Spiderman suit came in, placing himself next to Cyborg. The doors closed again and the elevator moved once more.
"Uh… cool outfit." Said Robin, trying to make some conversation.
"Thanks." Said the spidey guy. "Yours are nice too…"
"I'm actually naked… well, kind of…" Said Cyborg.
"Oh…" After that, they kept silence.
"You wouldn't know where to find a lamp, would you?" Said Robin after a while.
"Sorry, guys, I really couldn't tell…"
"Oh, well, that's OK…thanks anyway."
Silence.
Deep silence.
This silence is driving me insane!
PPPPPRRRRRRRTTTTTTTT!
The sound, and also the smell, filled the elevator quite fast. The newcomer tried to cover his nose, but then realized it was already covered by his red spandex mask. He then turned to look at Robin.
"It wasn't me!" Said the Boy Wonder, blushing a bit. Then both guys turned to where Cyborg was, whistling and looking at nothing in particular. As soon as he noticed the stares on him, he turned.
"What…? Oh, yeah, that's so typical! Always blaming the black guy, won't you!"
Then, the doors opened again, and Robin and Cyborg came out, leaving Spidey alone with the smell. They were looking now at a round hall made of gray stone, with other similar tunnels going in and out everywhere. Robin thought they looked as huge sewer pipes. And, on the walls, were several statues of giant snakes.
"Snakes! I hate snakes!" Said Robin, looking at the statues. He then looked back at Cyborg.
"You go first." Said the robotic man. Robin gave a frown and started walking down the hall. At the end of it, the tunnel divided in two, one going to the right and the other one to the left. Right in front of Robin now was nothing but murky water; and, far from him, a huge, gigantic statue made of gray rock, representing an old bearded man, with its mouth opened in a dark 'O'.
"OK…" Said Robin. "…WTF?"
Suddenly, they heard a bird-like nose to their right, and they turned in time to see a huge golden and red bird flying out of the tunnel, followed by a short, skinny boy with messy black hair and round glasses. He was wearing a black robe with a chest on it, and was carrying a huge silver sword, which seemed to be too heavy for him, and slowed down his furious escape. Both Robin and Cyborg wondered what the kid was running away from, but they soon find out: it was a giant green snake, with two deep yellow eyes and a mouth full of deadly fangs.
"WAIT!" Shouted the weird boy, while stopping running. "I shouldn't be afraid of that thing! I'm a Griffindor! I'm supposed to be brave!" Then, he started brandishing the sword at the snake. "OK, you big, ugly Slitherin Monster, I'm gonna destroy y-"
Suddenly, the snake ate the kid with one single bite, spitting out the sword. It looked as thought the snake was still hungry, and it soon noticed Robin and Cyborg, standing motionlessly and wide-eyed. The snake started moving really fast towards the frozen boys, who recovered their sense and started running towards the left tunnel.
"Over here!" Said Robin, turning on a smaller tunnel, in which the huge snake wouldn't be able to fit. However, the tunnel they had gone in turned out to be nothing but a small pit, that ended abruptly, in which the snake was pretty capable to take its mouth in.
"Great." Whispered Cyborg. "Now, how do we get out of here?"
Suddenly, they heard a squeaky noise behind them, that they hadn't heard before. They turned around, and they saw, right in front of them, a green door. Robin graved the doorknob and turned it. Yes, it was open! He opened the door, revealing a small room, with its doors completely covered with keys of all sizes and shapes. The squeaky sound came from a weird machine operated by an old little man.
"Who are you?" Asked Robin.
"I am… the Key Maker."
"Uh… OK. Can you take us out of here?"
"Of course I can." The old man then took one of the keys and opened a door behind him.
"Thanks!" Said Robin, exiting through the door, with Cyborg following him. They were now at the edge of an abyss, from were a wooden bridge started, crossing the pool of magma below, and ended in the other edge of the abyss.
"I don't think that bridge is able to support me…" Said Cyborg as he started to advance towards the bridge, but as he was about to step on it, the giant green snake from before appeared out of nowhere, placing itself between Cy and the bridge. Cyborg jumped and ran away, while the snake started changing… it was shrinking, and its shape was… shifting.
"What the-?" Said Robin, looking at the snake, that was now a green boy, shorter than him, actually.
"Stay were you are! I am the changeling who keeps the Bridge of Death! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see!"
"Man, why do you talk like that?" Said Cyborg, looking with amusement at what the snake had turned into.
"I ASK THE QUESTIONS HERE!" Yelled Beast Boy (Yes, it's him), tiptoeing in an attempt of looking more threatening. His outfit is pretty much the same, but the silver parts of it (gloves, belt, shoes) are now made of real silver, plus he's got an Arabian-looking silver helmet, and a silver sword, pretty much like the one the weird boy with glasses had just a few minutes ago.
"Now," He said to Cyborg. "What… is your name?"
"I'm Cyborg, but my friends call me C-"
"QUIET! Next question: what… is your quest?"
"Uh… I'm looking for a magic lamp… Haven't you seen it, by the way? I really don't know how it is, but I think it can't be so bi-"
"SHUT UP! What is… your favorite color?"
"Yellow! No, wait, it's blue… at least, I think it-"
"WRONG ANSWER!" Shouted Beast Boy, before transforming into a gorilla. Then, he grabbed Cyborg and threw him into the magma bellow them. "Now, you!" He said to Robin, transforming back to normal. "What… is your name?"
"Robin!" The boy said, nervous.
"What… is your quest?"
"To find the magic lamp!"
"What… is the speed of a medium-sized coconut, if the weather is rather cool?"
"What? How am I supposed to know that?"
Hearing this, the short green boy smirked evilly. "WRONG ANS-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!"
Suddenly, where Beast Boy was just a moments ago, now there wasn't anything. Robin looked down, and discovered Cyborg, hanging from the cliff with one hand, while grabbing an upside-down and yelling Beast Boy by the ankle with the other hand. Robin quickly helped his friend climb up the cliff.
"Thanks, man…" He said, catching his breath. "And you!" He suddenly turned to Beast Boy, who was still hanging upside-down, being grabbed by the ankle by the metal man.
"Dude, let me go!" He said, trying to use his sword but with no avail.
"Let you go? LET YOU GO! You tried to kill me, I'm not gonna let you go!" He then put out his blast cannon and pointed it at a green face.
"I'm sorry, dude, OK? But it's my job! That's what I do for living!"
"No, sorry, I wont buy that." The cannon then started to power-up.
"B-but… But if you let me go, I can help you!"
"Oh, yeah? How?"
"I can guide you to where the Titan's Lamp is! I know where everything inside here is! And then I can show you the exit too! Without me, you could get lost!"
"NADA! I don't trust you! As soon as I let you go, you would turn into a wild beast and eat us!"
"EEEEEEEWWWWWW! Dude, I wouldn't eat you! Hell no! I'm vegetarian!"
"Bull! We saw you eating a freaky boy with glasses back there!"
"What boy with glasses? What are you talking about, dude?"
BOOM!
The three boys turned their heads so fast that their necks cracked. Where just a couple of seconds ago was the door that Robin and Cyborg had used to get here, now was the big, dark green giant snake.
"Oh, man…" Said Cyborg, releasing Beast Boy, who felt over his head and stayed there, watching the snake.
"I think we should run…" Said Robin.
"Good idea man… LETS GET OUTTA HERE!" With that, both of them started running through the bridge.
"Hey! Wait for me!" Yelled Beast Boy, trying to escape from the snake-which was not a changeling.
The giant reptile tried to follow the boys through the bridge, but as soon as it was above it, the wooden structure collapsed, taking the snake and the three teenagers down.
"AAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" Screamed Cyborg and Robin, getting closer to the magma by each second. Suddenly, something grabbed them by the shoulders and started to lift them up, to the other edge of the cliff. They turned up and discovered a huge green pterodactyl, taking them to save land.
"Whoa… Hey! You saved us, man!" Said Cyborg, once they were on land again.
"I… told you… I'm not a bad guy…" Said a panting Beast Boy, once again in human form.
"Uh, well… sorry for not trusting in you. Uh, so… can you still take us to the lamp?"
Beast Boy looked at Cyborg, and then looked at the huge magma pool, where now was not the single sign of a bridge. "Uh, sure, why not? I'm pretty sure that if someone else shows up, they can throw themselves to the magma with no trouble…" And with that, they started going through the way Beast Boy was taking them. "I'm Beast Boy, by the way…"
"Nice to meet you. I'm Robin, and the guy who tried to kill you is Cyborg."
"Can I ask you something?" Said Cy.
"Sure. What is it?"
"Well, why is this god dam place called the 'Cave of Wonder bras'? We've been in here pretty long and I haven't seen not the littlest bra!"
Beast Boy stopped, and turned to see Cyborg with a shocked expression in his face. "Cave of Wonder-dude! Who told you such a stupid name? This place's not called the Cave of friggin' Wonder bras, no!"
"It isn't?"
"NO! That would be too stupid! The real name of this place is The Cave of Wonka Bars! See?" He said as they entered a new chamber, which was full of WONKA CHOCOLATE BARS(tm).
"Yeah, and that name's not stupid!"
Beast Boy turned to Cyborg again, this time with an angry look. "Of course it's not stupid! These are my favorite chocolate bars in the whole universe! And… and they were her favorite chocolates too…" Suddenly, the green boy's eyes became watery.
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
Beast Boy was now a ball on the floor, crying loudly, as Robin and Cyborg looked at him in shock. In both their minds, the same question was being asked: WTF?
"Oh, sorry, don't mind me… I'm just a stupid dawg…" Said Beast Boy, standing up and recovering. "Well, we better get going."
After a bunch of walking, they finally made it to the Lamp Chamber. It was a big cave-like room, completely dark, excepting for the mysterious blue-light spot that covered a water pond with a small rock island in the middle. On top of the island, was what looked to be like the shape of a teenage girl carved on rock, with her hands above here head, stretching to the sky; and right there, resting on the girl's hands, was…
"There it is! The Lamp!" Shouted Robin with excitement. "Right there, on top of that statue!"
"Dude, that's not a statue."
Both Robin and Cyborg turned to see Beast Boy, who, oddly, had gone dead serious.
"That's Terra, my old mistress. She was the former owner of the Titan's Lamp, and she had it all… but she made a mistake… she was corrupted by the power of the Lamp, which only led her to seek more and more power… I tried to help her, but once again I proved myself to be useless… when she finally realized what she had done, it was too late… So, she build this cave, and did that" He then pointed at the girl frozen in stone forever. "To herself, in order to prevent the lamp to be found by the wrong person ag-g-gain…"
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
Once again, Beast Boy was curled in a ball on the floor, crying bitterly.
"Hey, if you're going through that issue, take a tissue!" Said Cyborg.
"I better go get that lamp." Said a frustrated Robin to Cyborg. "You keep an eye on him…"
When Robin was close enough to the pond, he discovered a path of rocks leading him directly onto the rock island. Being careful to not falling into the water, he started hoping from one rock into the next one.
"Ah, c'mon, man." Said Cyborg, trying to get Beast Boy to calm down. "Stop crying, don't make such a fool of yourse-" Suddenly, something caught Cyborg's attention, it was a golden glitter behind him. He slowly turned around, until he had turned completely and was now contemplating the most wonderful thing in the world: right there, in front of him, on a silver trade, completed with syrup and butter, was the biggest, brightest, and, Cyborg suspected, the tastiest waffle ever made by the Gods.
It was like a magnetic attraction. He just started to move forward, waiting eagerly, and yet so calmly, the moment in which his mouth will become in contact with that golden vision from the Heavens, and taste it, and chew it, and swallow it with so much pleasure, his heart would stop and he would be taken to a new world, and he would see everything with a new light… Yes, when he reached the waffle, he would reach Nirvana.
"OK… I'm OK now… sorry, I was…" Beast Boy stood up and looked around, shocked to find out that the other two were gone. Then he noticed Cyborg. "Dude! What are you-no! Stay away from it! Stay awaaaaaaaay from iiiiiiiiiit!"
Robin had already reached the island, and was now trying to climb in order to grab the lamp. He was almost there… he just had to stretch a little bit more… almost there… a little bit more… almost there…
"I got it!" He yelled with excitement, as his fingers closed around the golden surface.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Robin quickly turned around, and he spotted Cyborg, who already had the waffle in his hands and was now preparing himself to bite it. Beast Boy had jumped on Cy's back, and was now trying to stop him from biting the waffle; but it was too late, Cyborg had already bit it.
"Mmmmmmmhhhh… This tastes like… like… li-BLARGH!" Cyborg spit the piece of waffle he had been chewing: it had transformed into sand in his mouth. "Man, this isn't the tastiest waffle I ever ate!"
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU STUPID METAL MAN!" Yelled Beast Boy. He was now looking at the rock ceiling with horror, as if he was afraid it will fall on him. A second later, the booming sound of the Cave's voice made the walls rumble:
"YOU HAVE EATEN THE FORBIDDEN WAFFLE! NOW YOU SHALL NOT SEE THE DAYLIGHT EVER AGAIN!"
Suddenly, the rock on which Robin was standing started to heat. He looked at it, and discovered that all of it, even the rock girl, had turned red. He grabbed the lamp and quickly started to climb down the now smoking rock, and started to go through the path of rocks on the lake, which was now boiling. When he reached the half of the way towards land, the rock island had disappeared, and the water had turned into magma. If he had turned, he would have discovered that the path of rocks behind him was being swallowed by the magma, and it was advancing a lot faster than him. By the time he reached the last three rocks, they were sinking as he stepped on them, and he had to jump. He landed on safe shore, but was now laying on the floor. He turned in time to see a huge magma tsunami, going directly at him…
ZUM! At the exact time the magma started falling on were Robin was, a giant green pterodactyl grabbed him with its claws and got him out of danger. The prehistoric bird started to go higher and higher, and when it almost reached the ceiling, it let Robin go. Robin screamed desperately as he felt, but then he discovered that BB was now below him, ready to catch him. As he landed on top of the green animal, they started to go down, and when Robin thought they were about to hit the ground, BB started to move towards the exit. Suddenly, someone landed on top of BB behind Robin. The masked boy was shocked to discover it was Cyborg.
"How did you get here?"
"Movie magic."
The giant green bird soon had left the chamber, and was now flying through the long stone tunnel with its two passengers. Both boys looked back at the huge river of magma following them.
"We're never gonna make it!" Yelled Robin. "The magma advances way faster than us!"
"Hold on…" Said Cyborg, and then he fired at the ceiling of the tunnel with his cannon. Several big rocks started falling, obstructing the tunnel and stopping the magma. "See? Piece of cake."
Suddenly, the big rocks flew away in several directions, and now, chasing our friends, was a giant round boulder apparently made of solid magma.
"OK… Bad idea."
"Beast Boy, we need to go faster!" Shouted Robin. Beast Boy was going as fast as he could, but the boulder advanced faster.
Suddenly, they reached the big magma pool, where the Bridge of Death used to be. For their surprise, the magma pool exploded in a huge volcanic eruption, and Beast Boy was going directly to it, without stopping.
"WE'RE DOOMED!" Screamed Cyborg.
At the last moment, right before the lava touched them, BB turned up and started flying to a big hole in the ceiling.
"OK, we're not doomed!"
Soon, they discovered than the hole leaded to another tunnel, this one much more calmed. After a while, the tunnel ended, in what seemed to be an ancient temple. At the end of it, was a gigantic statue of a six-armed warrior, with a sword in each hand. At both sides of the statue, were two big exit doors.
"C'mon, lets go!" Said Robin. BB started to fly towards one of the exits, but then-
WHOOSH!
The giant statue had became alive, and was using its six swords to stop the bird and its passengers. BB rapidly started flying in the opposite direction, but another giant sword coming out of nowhere made him stop. He then gave a 360 degrees loop and started flying without a definite direction. The stone giant wasn't able to move too fast, but it was hard to avoid its six arms and keep Robin and Cyborg from falling.
"Wait! I've got an idea!" Shouted Robin, with his face turning as green as Beast Boy. "Fly to that column from there!"
Beast Boy did as he was told, and the statue started to chase him. When he reached the column, he flew away immediately, allowing the column to take the impact of one of the giant swords. The column broke in two, and it fell, hitting the next column, which also fell, hitting the next one. Soon, a domino effect had been created around the giant statue and its small opponents.
As the last column was about to fall, Beast Boy flew towards it, making the statue follow him. Flying away at the last second, Beast Boy was able to escape towards the exit, while the column felt on top of the living statue.
"Whoa, good job!" Said Robin, as they left the chamber. "I was actually suggesting that we could hide behind the column till the statue got bored and went back to sleep, but that was even better!"
At the tunnel they found a new challenge: several statues of dragons, lining at each side of the tunnel. They didn't come to life, but fire started to come out of their mouth.
"Wow… easy there, easy there…" Commanded Robin, as Beast Boy started to advance, avoiding the fire. He had to go up, down, left, right, advance faster and stop, but they were finally able to get out…
And enter to hell.
The whole cave was falling apart. The ceiling had wrecked and big pieces of it were falling. Fire was coming out of the most weird places, and the floor had disappeared under a river of lava. The main enter to the cave, at exactly the opposite side of where they were, was closing rapidly, and the stairs were completely gone. Beast Boy started to hurry his way to the exit.
"We're almost there." Said Robin. "Almost there…"
WHAM!
They were just a few feet away from the exit, when a boulder hit BB hard in the head. He transformed back into a human and felt unconscious. Robin quickly shot his birdarang to the exit, and Cyborg did the same with his hand (he can shoot his hand! I've seen it!). Now they were both hanging from the cliff, with the exit right on top of them.
"Give me the lamp!"
They both turned up, and discovered Old Moddy peering from the exit.
"Help us, old man!" Said Cyborg.
"First give me the lamp!"
Robin quickly tossed the golden lamp at the crank. He caught it in midair, contemplating it.
"At last…" He then began to laugh viciously. "AT LAST!" After that, he began to laugh louder, and then he started to dance.
"You got what you wanted, now help us!" Shouted Robin. Suddenly, the geezer stopped dancing and grabbed Robin by the wrist, a little bit too hard.
"HEY! What are you-"
"Now, my duckie…" He then pulled out a huge knife. "I'm gonna give you your reward…"
"No you're not!" Shouted Cyborg. He then shot his hand to Old Moddy, knocking the knife from his hand, and grabbing him by the shirt.
"HEY! What are you-DON'T! LET ME GO!" Shouted the wrinkled man. Then, he got his wooden cane out of God-knows-where, and started to hit Cyborg's hand with it.
Soon, Cyborg let go, as the old man was hitting him with an incredible strength. He fell from the wall, bumping on Robin, and soon enough both were falling. Then, something stopped them in midair. They had hit a green surface with great strength, and that was all Robin knew before passing out…
Outside, Old Moddy was trying to catch his breath, as he saw the entrance to the Cave disappear, until there was no sign that such cave had ever existed. As he stood up, he started laughing once more.
"It's mine… It's finally mine! WAIT!" He then realized that the lamp was nowhere around.
He began to get worried. He started looking for it in the sand, in his pockets, even inside his pants ("Raisins? When did I buy raisins?"), until he realized he had lost it… it had been his for a moment, and then he lost it…
"NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Well, that's all for now! At least, I gave you the longest chapter yet. Sorry if it was too crazy, I just felt like doing it. And, I know next chapter will be crazy too, cus the Titan from the Lamp not only is introduced, but also sings! And hey, if BB isn't the Titan from the Lamp, then WHO could it be? Any ideas? REVIEW!
PS: If you didn't get the 'raisin' gag at the end, don't try to get it. You will find out it's rather gross.