Chapter 2: Do You Speak Moo?
After the Major's pronouncement, there was a brief lull of confused silence.
"A what!" the General demanded, ending the awkward moment. All eyes watched the Major expectantly. Carter flushed from the sudden scrutiny, and looked down at the computer screen as if she were double checking her readings. "A StickHorsie sir," she restated, squirming slightly.
"And how would you know what it is, Major?" the General asked incredulously.
"I, uh, well…. I saw it on the internet." Her cheeks had become a rather attractive shade of pink.
"Sir! I think it's trying to communicate!" Siler drew their attention back to the figure, which indeed looked as if someone, in a moment of sheer inspiration, had taken a blue marker and then had drawn a rather cheerful stick horse on the closed iris. Above the creature's head, something that looked suspiciously like a blue outlined conversation bubble had appeared, and letters were starting to form on the milky white surface in the center.
The General frowned at the new development. "What's it saying?" he asked.
"Looks like 'Moo!'" said Colonel O'Neill, leaning forward and squinting through the thick glass that shielded the control room.
"Moo?" questioned Daniel, "Why would a horse be saying moo?"
Jack glared at the younger man. "I don't know Daniel, maybe it's confused. You're the linguist for cryin' out loud!"
"Well I don't speak Moo, Jack." Daniel crossed his arms over his chest and glared back at the leader of his team.
"You speak how many languages, and you don't speak Moo?" countered Jack.
"Do you speak Moo, Jack?" argued Daniel.
"Gentlemen, please." The General ended the impromptu argument before Jack could reply and turned back to Major Carter, who was again looking at the creature with a goofy grin on her face. "Major, do you believe this… StickHorsie… to be any threat to us?"
Carter gave herself a little shake, and turned her full attention to the General. "No sir. From what I remember, StickHorsie is a peace loving, friendly creature; I don't believe it would harm us. In fact, I think we are scaring it." Sam pointed to where the word in the conversation bubble had changed to "Moo?" The cheerful grin on Horsie's face had flattened somewhat, becoming slightly worried-looking. Apparently, Horsie did not care for all the guns in the room.
Making a decision he hoped he would not regret, General Hammond spoke into the microphone. "Stand down."
As the weapons lowered, the Horsie looked much more cheerful again. It even began to bob its head up and down enthusiastically, tapping a long blue stick leg on the gate ramp.
"Well, should we go meet our guest, General?" The Colonel was bored with standing around watching and he was curious to see this StickHorsie up close. Hammond nodded, quickly dismissing some of the airmen in the room. "SG-1, you're with me," he ordered, striding briskly for the stairs, the members of SG-1 falling into place around him.
They soon stood at the bottom of the gate ramp, all of them looking at the StickHorsie. The word in the bubble was still there, but the punctuation at the end of Moo had again changed into a question mark. This time, however, Horsie didn't look quite so worried, merely quizzical.
Daniel stepped forward; it was usually his place to make introductions. "Um, hi. I'm Dr. Daniel Jackson. We mean you no harm." Horsie bobbed its head up and down again, the blue smile coming back. Feeling more confident now, Daniel introduced the rest of his team and also General Hammond. The question mark in the bubble gradually changed to an exclamation point, and the grin on the StickHorsie's face had gotten even larger, if that was possible.
As if coming to a decision, Horsie moved suddenly, turned, and headed towards them down the ramp. Hammond held a hand up to the team of airmen left in the gate room, forestalling them from raising their weapons.
Carefully, Horsie made its way down. Carter narrowed her eyes at the profile StickHorsie presented; from this angle you could barely see it. She was starting to suspect that Horsie might just be less than three micrometers thick and wondered idly if it would consent to coming to her lab for some measurements?
At the end of the ramp, Horsie stopped and turned again, presenting its side rather than the narrow profile it had just shown them. Then another "Moo!" took shape in the conversation bubble over its head and its smile, if possible, grew even larger. Everyone in the Gate room suddenly found it difficult to keep similar grins off of their own faces.
General Hammond cleared his throat, breaking the temporary spell. "Welcome to the SGC, uh… StickHorsie." Hammond hesitated only briefly, glancing quickly at Major Carter as if to confirm what she had called the being now standing in front of him. Horsie nodded its head up and down enthusiastically, as if to confirm that StickHorsie was indeed its name.
Hammond cleared his throat again, before continuing. "StickHorsie, I believe I speak for everyone here when I express my curiosity about what brings you here."
Horsie appeared thoughtful for a moment, and then another moo appeared in the bubble to join the first one, rapidly followed by another. And still another. Soon a string of moos filled the bubble, all of them vying for the front and center position in the bubble until it was just a massive jumble.
The General turned in confusion to Daniel, who was frowning at the bubble. Wordlessly, the man shook his head. He hadn't been joking when he said he really didn't speak Moo. But he wasn't the linguist on the foremost SG team for nothing. Holding up his hands in a placating gesture to stop to flow of moos, Daniel spoke. "StickHorsie, I'm sorry, we don't understand you."
The moos in the bubble abruptly disappeared, as rapidly as the torrent had appeared in the first place, leaving the bubble empty. After a moment, a single moo appeared in the momentarily blank center of the bubble, ending with a few periods, and accompanied by a very sad look on Horsie's blue lined face.
Daniel tilted his head to the side and crossed his arms over his chest, brow furrowed in thought. He glanced quickly at the General, and after the slightest of nods in permission, Daniel took a step forward, lifting his chin up a bit to look at Horsie in the eye. Horsie was about as tall as a regular horse, despite being much thinner.
"You understand us don't you? Even if we can't understand what you are saying?" Daniel was rewarded by the earsplitting grin on Horsie's face, while the moo in the bubble grew an exclamation point and Horsie nodded its head up and down emphatically.
Daniel grinned back. They now had a way to communicate, since Horsie could at least answer yes/no questions.
As Daniel opened his mouth to ask some questions, Horsie surprised everyone by releasing a monstrous yawn. Even Horsie looked startled as it blinked sleepily.
Since it would do no good to question a sleepy StickHorsie, guest quarters were quickly arranged. "Colonel, assign an escort, but no weapons." General Hammond ordered, remembering how it had reacted to the guns earlier. Besides, Hammond thought as the StickHorsie was led from the room with SG-1 trailing in its wake, how much trouble could a stick figure possibly cause anyway?