Three Memories

Disclaimer: I own Final Fantasy VIII in no way, or any other Final Fantasy, for that matter. I'm making no money off this, it is just for entertainment, so back off with the lawsuits.

A/N: Not much to say up here, just that this chapter was up as I promised, even though I was piss drunk from the parties.

4: The Return

> > >

Squall and I had just finished our four-hour shift guarding the docks. Selphie and Irvine had just taken over, and Quistis and Zell were next. I'm glad there hasn't been any incidents yet. I know that I shouldn't, and it's completely unwarranted, but I sometimes feel like an imposter SeeD.

I'm not a SeeD. Seifer taught me how to fight like one, and I'm on a SeeD mission, but that still doesn't make me a SeeD. And it bothers me. Squall said I could probably just do the SeeD exam and be made one officially, but it doesn't seem fair. Other students have to go through years and years of training before being allowed to do the test. I, on the other hand, just had some informal training and the approval of the commander.

I probably should get a job at Garden soon. I can't just continue to live there on the goodwill of Cid and Squall. I know they both don't mind, but I do. I can't be an instructor, anything secretarial is dull, and the sterile smell of the infirmary makes me queasy. There isn't much for me to do. I suppose I can be a cafeteria worker. Making hot dogs. Feeding the students who are so afraid of me.

The thought is so depressing I sighed out loud. Squall turned to look at me questioningly. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head, glumly watching Irvine tip his hat to a merchant. "What am I going to do, Squall? I can't just live at Garden for free, doing nothing."

"Are you unhappy?" He asked.

"No," I said firmly. That I knew. I had friends there, and Squall. I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I just need something to do during the day, when everyone is at work."

"We'll think up of something for you." Squall sounded so firm and certain of it, I immediately felt better.

"Do you thin – " I was cut off my something whizzing past my ear. It struck one of the crates. The merchants began to shout. Squall jumped up and dragged me with him.

"We're under attack!" He shouted. I saw fierce determination grow in his eyes. This is why I lov– Stop it, Rinoa, this is no time to think about that. "Selphie, Irvine! Make sure they don't get anywhere near the ships!"

"Quistis, Zell, come with me, we're going to fight them off." Squall called to them. The immediately came. He looked down at me with troubled eyes. "I don't want you to get hurt." He said.

I smiled. There was no reason why I should not fight. "I'll be fine, let me come with you."

He searched my eyes quickly. "Okay. Stay towards the back, since you have a projectile weapon, anyway."

I nodded, agreeing to his compromise. Quickly, I followed them to where the attackers were. I scanned them, there seemed to maybe ten or twelve. They were all masked. It wasn't so bad. I felt another bullet whiz by me, and I let my pinwheel fly towards my attacker, knocking him out.

Squall was running towards the biggest guy with his gunblade raised. I felt a momentary flash of fear when the enemy raised his gun to point it at Squall, who knocked it aside easily. I set off the pinwheel again to one of the thugs that was sneaking up behind Zell.

I felt a strange sensation come over me. I looked down at myself, and I was glowing. I knew this, I had felt it before. I was losing control over my magic. I didn't want this to happen. It was like the first step of giving in to the sorceress in me. I couldn't help it. It was coming even though I had purposely avoided using magic.

My vision blurred, and I saw Squall trigger. Quistis had tripped another thug with her whip. Squall was fighting two men at once.

"Squall," I tried calling him. There was no use. My hands had started to glow red. I clenched them into fists, trying to keep the magic inside of me. I desperately tried to hold on to it, hoping Squall would come and help me. I didn't even know how or if he could help. I just needed him beside me, now.

But Squall was fighting and could not see me. I started to ache terribly and I knew it would only increase if I tried to hold the Firaga in me. Then, several things happened at once.

Something exploded behind me. I was stunned, and let my hold on the magic down. The men in front of me caught fire. Squall turned to look at me in alarm. The enemy in front of him swiped at his back. I saw Squall's blood fly. He looked shocked. I was angry. My next round of magic was directed towards that man. The thunder hit him and he dropped. My vision was going fuzzy. I saw Selphie's yellow dress and Irvine's hat running towards us.

Then it all went black, and I felt my body hit the paved ground.

> > >

When I woke up, I was in the infirmary, and Dr. Kadowaski was leaning over me. She saw me staring up at her. "You had quite a nasty fall, there." She commented mildly. Not a mention of the sorceress slip up I had. I was grateful for that. If it got somehow leaked in Garden, things would have been even harder for me.

Then I suddenly remembered Squall and how he was hurt. "Squall!" I said urgently. "Where is he? Is he okay?"

Dr. Kadowaski nodded. "He's fine. He came back with a nasty cut on his back and needed some stitches. He wouldn't leave your side and trailed blood all over the infirmary. I sorted him out, so don't you worry. He's still knocked out, though. You can see him when he wakes up."

The door slide open. Quistis came in. She looked concerned. "Feeling better?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "What happened?"

"The thieves had planted some bombs earlier, and set them off with the remote while we were fighting. I think that's what stunned you. The merchants got out fine, and once they did, Selphie and Irvine came to us to finish them off."

"Oh," I said. Sill no mention of anything to do with my being a sorceress. "Thank you."

Quistis smiled at me. "I'm glad you're better now. I have to run, though, my class is starting in ten minutes. I'll check in with Squall later." She nodded towards Dr. Kadowaski and left.

I stood up. "Am I okay to go now?" I was still wearing the same clothes I went out in. I needed a bath.

"Yes, you're fine. You were exhausted and just needed some rest." She said absently, thumbing through some files. "I'll call you when Squall is up."

"I'll probably be back before then," I said with a wry grin. "Thanks for everything."

I left and began heading towards my room. The hallways were blessedly empty, as classes had begun for the morning. I trudged up the dormitory hallway and stopped in shock as I saw a figure leaning against my doorpost.

I didn't know what to say. I searched for words, but I couldn't seem to find any appropriate ones. "Seifer?" I said incredulously. Of all people I thought I'd never see again… why was he back now? How did he even get back into Garden without being mauled? I glanced around. We were alone. This was bad. And there was a bad part of me that was very, very happy to see him.

"Hey princess." He met my eyes. I just dreamed about those green eyes two nights before. I couldn't believe that I was actually staring into them now. The sensible part of myself made me start to back away from him. What if he was here to try something? He nearly killed me without regret! His expression changed from languid to…a strange sort of disappointment. Or was it sadness? In any case, it made me stop.

"How did you find my room?" I said finally. I should have asked other questions first. Like how did he get here. Why was he here. What I asked seemed wrong. It was too intimate, as if it were fine for him to be visiting me.

Seifer pointed at Angelo, who was sitting on my doorstep, wagging her tail at him happily. Of course. I had let her out. I heard voices from the far end of the dormitory hall. Probably students who forgot something. If they saw Seifer…

He didn't appear to be alarmed. But this was bad. The sorceress with the guy who tried to invade Garden? Very bad. I lunged for the door and unlocked it, shoving him in as quickly as I could. I slammed the door behind me.

Touching him, no matter how it happened, made me breathless. I went to stand at the opposite end of the room and stared at him again. This didn't seem real. Seifer…Seifer who practically tried to kill me…Seifer whom I used to kiss…was standing in front of me. In my room. Alone with me. I had problems trying to accept the facts.

He took a step towards me. I backed up. Seifer looked resigned to the fact I still thought him to be my enemy.

"Why…" I couldn't form a coherent question. I was still in shock.

"I needed to see you." He finally said.

"Last time you saw me, I was your live offering." I pointed out. I was slowly recovering my wits. Thank Hyne Squall was unconscious in the infirmary.

Seifer winced slightly at that. "That's why I'm here." He took a step forward. I didn't back away. I sensed that he had changed somehow. When he saw I didn't move away, he came towards me and stood right in front of me. He was too close to me…

"I needed to see you," he repeated. "I had to say I'm sorry. I couldn't leave things the way they were."

"You should have," I said, swallowing hard. All my memories of Seifer were coming back, full blown, and his betrayal of me stung like a fresh wound.

"I couldn't have. It would have eaten me alive. I needed to make an apology. What I did was completely wrong. I betrayed you…I put my ambitions before your life." Seifer's eyes held genuine pain. "And I'm sorry."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I fought to keep them back.

"What I did was even worse, because I loved you." He continued, ignoring my whimper at that pronouncement. "I loved you, and I did it anyway. I couldn't see it. I don't know if you can even forgive me."

He loved me? That one summer…he loved me? I didn't fail to notice it was in past tense. "What about now?" I managed to say. Again, this was the wrong thing to say. I should have forgiven him, made him feel better, and sent him on his way. Some small part of me, the Rinoa who was so fond and happy with Seifer, had to know.

"Rinoa…" he said. My name in his voice made me shiver. He had a small smile on his lips. "You know I can't say anymore."

The tears I had held back broke free. "Oh, Seifer," Without quite realizing what I was doing, I leaned forward into his chest and started to cry. I felt his familiar arms encircle my back.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he said. His voice was muffled by my hair. We stood there for a moment in silence. I breathed in his familiar sent and looked up at him.

"It's alright. I'll never understand why you did it…and I think the thought of it will always hurt me…but it's alright now." I said quietly. The pain in his eyes seemed to ease off, and I was glad. For a moment, I was afraid he was going to kiss me. I was afraid because I would have kissed him back.

The phone on my desk rang, saving me. Seifer dropped his arms from me reluctantly and I went to pick it up.

"Rinoa?" It was Dr. Kadowaski on the phone. "I know you probably just got back to your room, but Squall just woke up and he's asking for you."

"Oh," I said numbly. "I'll be right there. Thank you." I hung up and turned back towards Seifer. "It's Squall," I said. "I have to go to him."

"Shall I come with you?" he offered.

I shook my head slowly. "I think the shock would kill him," I said dryly. "What are you going to do?" My words implied the facts. He couldn't very well hang around Garden.

Seifer shrugged. "I don't know yet. I don't know if I should see everyone else. I only came here for you. I do know…that if it ever were possible, I'd like to live here again. I've spent so much time here, almost all of my life, that it's the only place I can call home. And I've alienated it."

His words sent a little rush through me. "Lay low, then." I said, realizing that I was half giving him permission to stay. "If Squall sees you…"

Seifer crossed the room towards her. "I might need to see him," he said, and leaned down to kiss my forehead. I did not expect it, so I just nodded and left my room, leaving him in it.

I just hope that it won't cause too many problems. Wishful thinking, because it was Seifer.

> > >

To be continued….

Soooooo, that was another chapter down, another one to come extremely soon, perhaps in a couple of days. Again, thanks to my reviewers, who have all been nothing short of awesome.

One more thing. Since I was having a bit of trouble figuring out if Rinoa should stay with Squall or go with Seifer, I thought I'd ask your opinion. This doesn't necessarily mean I'll take the majority opinion, I just would like to see where people stand. You know, to get the creative juice flowing.