Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
Normally, at this time, Keitaro would accidentally confess to his little sister, Kanako, in the magic annex near the Hinata Inn (that was a mistake on my part.), a spell would bind the two together, and Naru would eventually snap and run away on an alleged "emotional journey". At that time, Naru would finally admit her love for Keitaro and break the annex's spell, and the two would be a couple. That could wait, because Yomiko Readman is in the house, and a plethora of bad news followed her. Apparently, Shinobu's been kidnapped, and a clone of her tried to take out Keitaro, but his tough skin saved him and Naru took her out with her famous punch. Now Naru and Keitaro are agents of the British Library Division of Special Operations, or DIET, and just in time, too. It seems the I-jin are on the rise again, and they're heading towards Hinata, for some obscure reason.
GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina
Chapter 2: Hmmm… Sounds Like Shinobi.
In the evening air, you see a lone person falling from the sky and heading quickly towards the ground. This person isn't Keitaro, oh sweet Christmas, no. Rather, it's the renegade clone of Shinobu from earlier. The young girl ponders to herself, GOD-(bleep)-DAMMIT! Before she passes the clouds, she remembers what happened a few minutes ago.
The renegade clone looks at the remaining nail that was still on her finger. Her eyes were now white circles, expressing pure unadulterated astonishment. She suddenly burst into rage. "I BROKE A NAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIL!"
"Narusegawa-san!" Yomiko shouted. "Use your atomic punch, now, while she's stunned!"
POW! The attack sent the clone through the roof and into the exosphere, where she was never to be seen again.
As she quickly approaches the ground, she hears something behind her; she slowly turns around to see what looked like a brown glider. She sees the bird-like wings and quickly grabs on to the left one, using her extended fingernails as claws to hang on. She turns to see someone at the cockpit and instantly recognizes him. "Otto… Lilienthal…" The glider pulls up and swoops above the ground, narrowly avoiding a head-on collision with the ground below. After it gained altitude, it retracts its wings, with the clone still hanging on, and speeds into the horizon.
(O)
A lone man sits in a room filled with the green glow of large tubes aligned nicely to his left. Another, younger and female figure approached him.
"You snapped." Said the male figure.
"I'm sorry, but he knew what we were up to." A gentle voice came out of the young girl before him. The voice sounded like Shinobu's.
"You were paranoid, Shinobi." The man responded in a cool tone. "You know what they say about paranoid people. They say you'll get smacked in the head by a psycho kid with a bent over baseball bat."
"Sorry." Shinobi responded in a quiet and shameful voice. Shinobi is apparently the name of Shinobu's clone.
"No problem." The figure said. "We still have tomorrow."
(O)
The next day, in front of the Hinata Inn…
"They're coming here?" Keitaro asked.
"Yes." Said Yomiko in response. "They made their first stop in Detroit. Then, they stopped in St. Louis, then Las Vegas, then San Diego, and finally Honolulu. Also, they blew up North Platt, Nebraska. Right now, they're in the middle of the Pacific Ocean."
"So they're coming to us, that'll save us a lot the trouble of having to go to them." Keitaro replied.
"Perhaps." Yomiko said. "But the question I like to ask is why Hinata? Why here?"
"That, we can't answer." Naru responded.
"Anyway, he should be here shortly." Yomiko walked a few feet, towards the stairs.
"Who?" Keitaro asked. Sure enough, his answer came; it was in the form of a blonde blue-eyed man with a muscular build, sporting a hat and what looks like standard military clothing. He climbed up the stairs carrying a large backpack and an array of weaponry and explosives.
Yomiko motioned her right hand to him. "Narusegawa-san? Urashima-san? This is Mr. Drake."
"Drake Anderson." He shook hands with Keitaro and then Naru.
"He'll be training you on basic combat." Yomiko added. "By training, you can hone in on your skills and realize the full extent on your abilities."
" I learned a few things about martial arts during my trip to America (Seta said I had a knack for it)." Keitaro chimed in.
"Is that so?" Yomiko asked. "That just makes things easier for us."
Keitaro and Drake stand within three feet from one another.
"You ready?" Said Drake.
Ready when you are." Keitaro answered.
After a brief moment of silence, Drake starts off with a right hook, but Keitaro blocks it and follows it up with a back hook. Drake dodges it, however, and rolls; he was now standing behind the landlord. Then, he throws two jabs at him, missing him twice, but follows it up with an attempted hammer punch, only to have it blocked by his left forearm. Keitaro quickly does a snap kick, but Drake grabs his right leg. With one mighty yank, he pulls Keitaro towards him and performs a strong right uppercut, his fist hitting the landlord's face dead on.
He jumps back a few feet and looks at his right fist. An awkward pause fills the air as Keitaro recovers from that last hit.
"YEEEOUCH!" Drake cried out as he looks at his hand, which was throbbing in pain. He takes a look at the manager. "What the hell are you made of, kid?"
"At first," Keitaro answered. "I thought it was flesh and bone, but ever since yesterday, I began to question myself."
"His skin is really tough." Yomiko added. "It can even withstand gunfire."
"Really?" Drake responded with a bit of surprise on his face. He looks at Naru, who's standing next to Yomiko. "What about her?"
"She's got the classic superhuman strength. She doesn't look like it, but she packs quite a punch."
In the corner of her eye, Naru sees someone climb the steps. She turns around and sees a young girl who seems to be in her teens. She had short blue hair with blue eyes to match. She wore a short green and yellow dress with a green hood and the word "Cabot" written on it, yellow socks, and green shoes.
She instantly recognized her. "Shinobu!"
"Is it really?" Yomiko turns around to see.
Shinobu looked up at Naru with her eyes shining. "Naru-sempai!" She ran up and wrapped her arms around her. "I'm so glad to see you!"
"What happened?" Naru asked, looking down on her.
Keitaro approached the two and saw Shinobu in Naru's arms. "Shinobu?"
The young girl quickly ran to the landlord and wrapped her arms around him. "Sempai!"
"Shinobu? Are you okay?" Keitaro said as he looked down on her.
"Y-yes." The young girl said, looking up at him. "Sempai, it was horrible. It was just a normal day at school until someone put me to sleep and took me away. The next thing I knew, I was in a dark room with a machine putting a needle in my arm and taking my blood. I saw someone who looked just like me emerge from a tube full of green liquid. Then someone put me in what looked like an escape capsule and I landed on a beach."
"I-jin." Yomiko said to herself.
"I didn't know where I was." Shinobu continued with watery eyes. "And it took all morning to find you." She began to break down to tears. "It was horrible, Sempai."
When Keitaro felt wetness from his shirt from her tears, he began to hold her more tightly. "It's all right, Shinobu. You're safe, now."
(O)
"I envy you guys." Kitsune said. She, Keitaro and Kanako were sitting on the dining room table. Motoko stood by the door, irritated for some reason. Kanako also had the same expression. Su and Sarah were playing Metroid Prime Hunters head-to-head.
"You get to hide in places, beat up people, and actually get a date. You can live the life of 007!" Kitsune continued.
"I lost hope the moment I put this uniform on." Keitaro replied, sighing.
Shinobu was napping on a couch in the lobby. Naru didn't say anything, but she had to admit, Shinobu was still adorable in her sleep, so limp and vulnerable.
Drake enters the Inn and sees her sleeping. He looked at her more closely and smiled. "She kinda reminds me of my daughter."
Naru turns to him. "You have a daughter?"
"Yeah. I like to buy her something nice after every mission." He walks past Naru. "Anyway, we should get back to training." He goes to the dining room, Naru following him shortly.
Motoko was waiting at the dining room door, and when Naru walked past her, she grabbed her shirt.
Naru turns to her. "What is it?"
"Something doesn't feel right." The samurai replied. "I'm beginning to feel bad vibes. I don't know where they're coming from, though."
Su notices Drake and looks at the many weapons he's carrying. After a short pause, she jumps back. "That's not an arsenal."
"?" Was all Drake said.
"Now THIS is an arsenal!" Su and Sarah brought over three kinds of assault rifles, two ray guns, two rocket launchers, four grenade launchers, three sniper rifles, two packs of hand grenades, and a mecha. Sarah was smiling.
"You got to be kidding me."
"Don't be so tense, Motoko." Naru responded. "Cool down. Relax. It might just be anxiety. Besides, Keitaro and I still have training to do." She looks at the manager, who was sitting at the dining room table. "Mr. Drake says we're not finished, yet."
"Oh. Ok." The two walk out of the dining room.
Kanako walks in and approaches the kendoist. An awkward silence fills the room. "You didn't say much."
(O)
Back in front of the Inn, Drake and Naru stood within three feet of each other. Shinobu walks outside to see what was going on, rubbing her eyes; she just woke up.
"Wh-what's going on?" She mumbled.
"They're just training. Narusegawa-san and Urashima-san need to hone in their skills to become good field agents. Oh, I forgot to tell you; they're agents of the British Library, now." Yomiko replied.
"Really?" Shinobu asked, looking up at her.
After a brief moment of silence, Naru started things off by jumping back a few feet. "Behold the POWAH of my resourcefulness!" She grabs Keitaro and rolls him into a ball, and then she throws him at Drake, who jumps out of the way and barely avoids it. The landlord crashes through one tree and slams into another.
Naru assesses the damage and looks at Keitaro, stuck on the tree he crashed into, and swirly-eyed. "Oops. Sorry."
Yomiko could barely believe what happened. "Well… That's new."
Drake was speechless.
Shinobu just watched with a look of slight irritation on her face.
Back at the Inn's lobby, Motoko walks towards the front door, but stops before she opens it. A long pause ensues. She spoke to herself. "There's those bad vibes again."
"I'm already on it." Kanako quickly opened the door and rushed out.
Shinobu looked behind her and what she saw she couldn't believe.
Kanako rushed towards her and attempted a punch her, but she saw it coming and jumped twenty feet high, easily avoiding the attack. She performed a triple full twist into a backflip, landing behind Naru. She held her with her right arm and extended the fingernails on her left hand, holding them at Naru's throat.
Everyone else at the Hinata Inn went outside to see what the ruckus was. Once she saw Naru held hostage by the high school student, Kitsune was the first to say something about it. "Has Shinobu gone insane!"
"Nobody move, or I swear I'll do it! Her skin isn't as tough as Sempai's!"
Haruka went to Kitsune. "Do you mind telling me what's going on, here?"
"All I know is that there's evil clones, Shinobu's gone crazy, and Naru and Keitaro are secret agents."
"Good enough for me." She said.
Yomiko walks to the renegade teenager. "How did you survive, anyway?"
Everyone looks at her in confusion.
The girl responded. "One name: Otto Lilienthal."
"Otto Lilienthal?" Keitaro asked.
Yomiko thought. They must've found a way to re-clone him.
"Wait. She can't be the evil clone Shinobu from yesterday, can she?" Kitsune asked her.
"Unfortunately, she is. The British Library also did some research on Shinobu Maehara's genealogy and came across something interesting." A moment of silence ensues as everyone looks at Yomiko. "Apparently, Shinobu is a direct descendant of a world-famous kunoichi who fought as a mercenary and died during the Bombardment of Kagoshima in the Edo Period, known as Shinobi Bakunetsu-Maruchan."
"Bakalaka-what?" said Kitsune.
"Shinobi was widely known in the underworld for her skillful use of psychological warfare. She was a true master of being sweet and adorable. She also had a pet flying turtle, who may have been Tama-chan's ancestor." Yomiko looked at Shinobi, the renegade Shinobu clone who was holding Naru hostage. "You put up quite a show, conjuring up real emotions and forcing tears out of your eyes. You even had me fooled. You surely lived up to your historical counterpart."
"Why, thank you… AAACK!" Shinobi fell on the floor. She saw that there was something restraining her. She quickly pulled out a knife to cut herself free, then threw it at Yomiko.
She saw the knife coming and pulled out many sheets of paper to form a paper barrier, stopping the knife dead on its tracks.
The Hinata crew was surprised, and why wouldn't they? Paper was tough enough to stop a speeding knife?
Yomiko looked at the renegade clone, and then at everyone else. "My codename isn't The Paper for nothing, you know." She said with confidence.
"The Paper?" Keitaro asked.
"I have the power to manipulate paper; I could fold it into anything I want and even make it hard enough to stop a bullet, and make origami."
Shinobi quickly regained her composure and closed her eyes, performing a quick chant. "Paguwa-sanpa… Paguwa-sanpa… Paguwa-sanpa… PAGUWA-SANPA!" And just like that, she formed two duplicates, both wearing short blue kimonos with daisies printed on them. The duplicates formed duplicates of themselves. Then those duplicates formed duplicates of themselves. Then those duplicates formed more duplicates of themselves, and so on, and so on, and so forth, until there were doppelgangers everywhere.
"AAAAACK! TOO MANY OF THEEEEM!" Poor Naru almost couldn't take it.
Su suddenly burst out of nowhere in a bright yellow mecha, with Sarah on top of it. "Which one's the real Shinomu?"
"None of them are." Motoko said. "Let's just take care of them all!"
Hence, the massive scale fight scene began. The army of Shinobis quickly attacked only to find out that making so many duplicates of themselves wasn't such a good idea; needless to say, they were all getting creamed.
"FIRE FULL ARSENAL!" Su was launching missiles all over the place, blowing so many doppelgangers up to smithereens. Drake just could not stop himself. "This kid's crazy."
"You'll get used to her." Sarah added.
Drake quickly saw a few more Shinobis heading his way. He blew them up with one well-placed lob grenade. "Say hello to Queen Dopplepopolis for me!"
Su just looked at him funny. "Umm… nice Sealab 2021 reference."
Drake's face was red. "Sorry about that. My horoscope said that goofing off would be the order of the day."
Naru was wielding Keitaro like a samurai sword, smacking a few more Shinobis with the grace of a fly swatter. Agent Paper had a sword of her own, made entirely of paper; she was holding her own as well.
"ROCK SPLITTING SWORD!" Motoko made a torrent of wind that sent a few doppelgangers to the Exosphere. Kanako was also single-handedly holding off the duplicates, like Krauser with his knife.
Haruka and Kitsune decided now was a good time to stay the hell out of their way.
Suddenly, the entire Shinobi army vanished into thin air, leaving only the original, which was right behind Drake.
"What the hell!" Drake turned back quickly, only to be at the receiving end of a roundhouse kick. Shinobi quickly ran towards Su with lightning speed.
"EVIL SHINOMI! I'VE GOT YOU, NOW!" Su fired five rockets. The Shinobi, however, kicked two rockets out of her way and threw her knives at three, destroying them before they could hit her. She landed on Su's mecha, throwing Sarah off a bit, and jumping off. She performed a double twist into a front flip, landing on the ground and heading towards Motoko with that same lightning speed.
"ROCK SPLITTING… BWAAAAAACK!" Motoko didn't have a chance to finish before Shinobi pushed her and Kanako to the ground and sped off towards Naru.
Yomiko intercepted her, poised to attack, but the clone nimbly and effortlessly dodged all of her swings and countered with a snap kick to her face. Too… fast… was all The Paper could think of before she tumbled to the ground, swirly-eyed. Shinobi then ran towards Naru.
"Naru!" Keitaro ran towards Naru, but Shinobi got to her, first. She suddenly stopped in front of her and crouched. She looked up to her and suddenly jumped and did a back flip, striking Naru's chin in a well executed flip kick.
Okay, now THAT hurt! Naru thought.
Shinobi then drove her elbow to Naru's stomach, and then followed it up with a volley of blazing fast punches and finished her off with one hell of a flying kick to her abdomen, sending her on a collision course with a nearby tree.
Everyone, including Haruka and Kitsune, were watching with surprise and astonishment, as the clone quickly ran up to Naru with her right fist ready for another punch.
"I WIN!" She executed one more mighty punch, and her fist successfully connected. A long silence fills the air, as everyone was rendered speechless. Shinobi saw that her fist did hit the target.
Or so it seems. Who she punched wasn't Naru, but rather, that oh-so-loveable invulnerable perverted guy, Keitaro Urashima.
Naru looked ahead and spoke in a weak voice. "K-Keitaro?"
Shinobi jumped back, her right hand throbbing violently in pain because of the landlord's super skin. "OW! OW! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
Naru knew what she had to do next; she had summoned enough strength to run up to Shinobi, with her own fist poised to attack. "WE WANT THE REAL SHINOBU BACK, NOW!" With a mighty right hook, she sent Shinobi straight to the Ionosphere, where she was never to be seen again.
"Are you ok, Naru?" Kitsune ran up to her. Haruka was calmly walking towards Keitaro.
"Hell no." Naru said, falling face first into the ground.
Yomiko recovered and stood up. "Though her field of specialty was psychological warfare, her physical prowess was truly something to behold." She looked up into the sky, where the I-jin supposedly is, now.
"Yomiko?" Keitaro said, carrying Naru on his right shoulder. "Will all the I-jin be THAT difficult?"
"Yes and no." Drake answered. "Some will be and some won't, but a few will be even more difficult."
Keitaro sighed. "Man."
They all felt a cool breeze, but Drake looked upwards. "Something's coming."
As the breeze picked up speed, everyone else looked up with him. Suddenly, a large blue mecha, half the height of the Inn, landed right next to them.
They didn't like what they saw.
"Oh great!" Keitaro asked, shocked but also annoyed. "We're going to have to fight that thing, now!"
Just after he said that, the robot took off and flew into the sky. Everyone watched with surprise over the fact that it just left, but also glad they didn't have to deal with it, at least for now.
"Thank God!" Naru said in relief. "We're already exhausted from that evil Shinobu clone fiasco."
"Speaking of, I think it's just me." Haruka added. "But it seemed like that evil Shinobu clone was going exclusively after Naru."
"You really think so?" Keitaro responded, knowing better than to call her "Aunt".
"Come to think of it, I noticed that too." Kitsune replied. "You think she may have something against her?"
"Why?" Keitaro asked in curiosity. "It's not like she and Naru knew each other."
"May I interject?" Yomiko interrupted. "The British Library also looked up Narusegawa-san's genealogy. What they came across was quite disturbing. Let's go back to the Inn; I'll explain everything from there." Yomiko entered the Hinata Inn, with everyone else following her.
End Chapter 2
Now review and tell me what you think.
Next Episode of Love-Or-Die Hina
Chapter 3: Motoko's Love, in Manuscript Form
Author's Notes:
Be sure to expect more scenarios where Naru will depend on Keitaro and vice versa. Like I said before, this fic will further explore the teamwork theme initially brought up in Career Goers of Tomorrow.
There's actually a reason for making the I-jin clone of Shinobu Maehara a kunoichi (female ninja). Although Shinobu's name means, "to remember", the word "shinobu" is also a verb that means, "to perform actions with utmost secrecy", and can be related to the word "shinobi", an ancient term preceding the modern word "ninja". Being a big fan of Shinobu myself, I always thought that she herself could make for an excellent ninja. I believe that she has what it takes; she's tiny and lightweight, she can crawl through small spaces, she's cute, etc. But that's just me.
The Bombardment of Kagoshima was a real historical event that took place in August 1863 during the Edo Period of Japanese history (1600 to 1867). Also referred to as the Anglo-Satsuma War, in retribution after the Namamugi incident of 1862, The British Royal Navy bombarded the town of Kagoshima in the Satsuma province in the Kanagawa prefecture, claiming five lives among the people of Satsuma, and thirteen lives among the British.
The Namamugi incident, also referred to as the Kanagawa Incident, or the Richardson Affair, was a samurai attack on foreign nationals on September 14, 1862. Relationships between the UK and Japan weren't exactly stagnant in the Edo period, but I'm sure not everyone approved of relations between two different lands, so incidents like this were common throughout history.
The case of Shinobi Bakunetsu-Maruchan, however, was completely made up.
Most of this information is based on research on Wikipedia (which is a site you just HAVE to go to, by the way), and interpreted by myself. If I'm wrong in any way, feel free to correct me, because there may be a good chance that I put this all down wrong.
Yes, people. I went as far as to bring up a Sealab 2021 reference.
See you next chapter.
GYRAX