But they betrayed no note of bitterness, only curiosity when he regarded me and said, "Greetings Skywalker, Your wife is well, I trust?" I nodded and smiled, "Yes Master, she is. We are both fine now that we have found each other again."
His eyes gazed into mine, and I saw all at once the wisdom that dwelled there, born of centuries of experiances the I could only imagine.
What must it be like to live so long? I wondered. To see so many things, so many monumental events, and have such an impact on shaping the gallexy into what it was, for he had truelly been one of the monumental factors in keeping the Jedi Order alive for so long. It was a wonder to me why he did not hate me for working to destroy what it had taken centuries to build.
But as he stood there, I did not feel this wise ancient had it in him to hate any being. Only the Darkness itself. He didn't even hate Dooku, or Darth Sidious, he merely hated what they represented, and were trying to do.
I swallowed nervously and raked my fingers through my hair, my hands were shaking slightly from the nerve of what I was about to do. But I summoned the picture of Padmes face, when she had looked at me, her cheeks streaming with tears while her tiny body shook with unbridled sobs.
That was all it took to steel my resolve and tell me that what I was doing was far more important than my foolish pride and wish to be noble. I glanced down at the floor once more and then raised my eyes to humbly meet his stare, as he waited patiently for me to form my thoughts into words.
"Master I don't wish to be a burdon upon you, or the council in any way." I began, "After my actions, I feel my right to request such things as this on behalf of myself is unquestionably inappropriate.
However it is not me I make the request for. My wife is distraught over my decision to turn myself in to the republic, and Obi-Wan as well has made me promise to him that I will take Padme and my children and go into hiding to ensure my own safety. While I wish to make them both happy, and of course, wish to live as well, I can not stop the torrent of conviction in my own mind saying that atonement for my actions must be made.
I can not in good conscience simply forget my crimes and run away like a coward. But I have made promises to those I love. I am torn in two, I don't know what to do. Can you give me any guidence on this matter, Master?"
When I stopped speaking and noticed him still in the same position, never moving, with his eyes now closed, his ears twitching slightly every so often, I almost assumed that he'd fallen asleep. I was about to clear my throat quietly in an effort to wake him, but he opened his eyes and they pierced through me like a blaster. I could feel him in my mind, searching, it felt like tiny fingers rubbing the folds and curves inside my mind probing gently for any signs of dishonesty or evil still left in me. I simply allowed him to explore my inner world as thouroughly as he wished, offering no resistance. When he was satisfied, I felt the tiny fingers slip away leaving my innermost thoughts once again in solitude. He peered up at me as he nodded, then spoke.
"You would be wise, Young Skywalker, to listen to your wife on matters such as these. Nothing to gain by your death, the gallexy has. Your thoughts of revenge, gone they are. Your fear, at rest now is. A threat, you are no longer. Bring strength to the new republic and be of great help to the Jedi, you must, if you wish to regain your honor. Which, read in your mind, I did. Wish to become Jedi Master, you still do. Eh?"
I blushed. Perhaps I should not have opened my thoughts to him so willingly. I knew I could never gain the rank of Master now. Not with every Imperial AND Jedi in the universe having had me on their hit list. I was merely a fugitive of justice. Not a Jedi, no longer a Sith. Simply a criminal on the run who had a family to look after. I could only hope the council would accept my apologies and be willing to forgive as easilly as my wife and friend did. But Yoda seemed to already have forgiven me as well, so perhaps that was a step in the right direction.