Note: I do not own Love Hina, Read or Die, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
When I started writing this chapter, Love or Die Hina had a staggering one hundred and twenty eight hits (staggering in my mind at least.). I would like to thank everyone that took his or her time to review this work, as it has motivated me to continue writing this work (the fact that I'm so close to the end has also motivated me.). I like to give a special thanks to NefCanuck for giving me support by reviewing all my chapters, and I also like to especially thank Drgnmastr-Alex for giving me much support by reviewing all of my works. Be sure to read his fic Love Hina: New and Old Faces, Same Zaniness; it's really good. Thanks also to encyser for pointing out a few things for me. Another note: don't forget to check my profile and read Career Goers of Tomorrow for me, ok? Thanks!
GYRAX Presents… Love-Or-Die Hina
Chapter 6: I've Reached Climax! (Part 1)
The air was silent in what looked like the Nuclear Reactor Room in the bottom of the fortress. The whole room was glowing green from the radioactivity of the nuclear generators below. Suddenly, two figures crash and fall onto a catwalk. The two get up and stand within ten feet of one another. A long silence fills the room except for the hum from the generators.
The green glow reveals the figures to be the two Shinobus, staring down one another as they each look for an opportunity to attack. Then, they both went for it. The two exchanged blows with one another and quickly jumped away from each other. They both extended their arm-blades and clashed with one another again. One Shinobu jumped away to avoid a slash from the other. Then, the other Shinobu pursued her with her right arm-blade grinding the metallic catwalk. Then, she attempted another slash, but the one Shinobu performed a back flip over it and landed a few feet form her. The two quickly went at it again, slashing and dodging one another with utmost grace. It was just like the battle between Nancy and Nancy one year back. You couldn't tell which one was good and which one was evil. Hell, they even wore the same strawberry panties.
(O)
Johann liked what he saw. "The real thing is better than I thought, but Shinobi has more experience in combat, so this should be an easy victory for her." The monitor turned off. Then, he turns to Madame Curie. "Marie?"
"Yes, sir?" Curie responded.
"Continue the operation without me. I'm going out for a walk." With that, Johann left.
"Sir?" Madam Curie asked again.
(O)
Hendrix held his guitar up high. "Good thing Lady Shinobi has anticipated this!" He pressed a silver button on the guitar's bridge. Suddenly, a female voice came out of it! It spoken, "Yoo-hoo! Tama-chan!"
Even if that moment was awkward, Motoko was well aware of what that name meant to her. Suddenly, Tama-chan came out, flying towards her. "Myuu!"
All Motoko said was, "Oh God!" Then she had Tama-chan clings to her face and all hell broke loose. "WRRRAAAAGH! I'M BEING HUMPED BY A TURTLE!"
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Hendrix couldn't stop himself.
"Lowbrow tactic!" Kanako cried out as she ran towards him. She threw a punch, but he jumped back to avoid it. He returned the favor with a sonic boom.
"URASHIMA DRAGON FANG!" She canceled the sonic boom out and jumped high. She fell towards him and attempted strong jump punch, but he used his guitar to block it. The force of the attack formed a circle of dust around them. Kanako quickly raised her left foot and kicked him straight to the chin, causing to fall backwards. He recovered fairly quickly.
"Got you, Tama-chan!" Su pulled the turtle off Motoko's face.
"Thanks, Su." Motoko said gratefully.
"It was just the bad guy was using sound to control Tama-chan. That's a real neat-o guitar, don't you think?"
"Never mind that. I still have business to attend to." Motoko stormed towards the battle. She ran at lightning speed and approached Hendrix from the side; the I-jin didn't see what was coming. "MOTOKO SLASH!" The attack sent him flying a god distance. Kanako then came up and kicked the guitar out of his left hand.
Motoko saw the freefalling instrument and took the opportunity. "GOD'S CRY SCHOOL! EVIL CUTTING FIST, FIRST FORM!" She successfully cut it in half, completely destroying it.
When Hendrix got up, he saw his guitar sliced in half, and his face clearly showed unadulterated astonishment, and then it became white-hot rage. "MY (BLEEEEEEEEEEP) GUITAR!" His glare grew exponentially demonic. "HOW THE (BLEEP) COULD YOU (BLEEP) (BLEEP) DO THIS TO MY (BLEEEEEEEEEEP) FENDER STRATOCASTER, YOU (BLEEP (BLEEP)"
"DAYAMN!" Kanako said, as her eyes were now white circles, as well as everyone else's. "You could seriously get an aneurysm in a rage like that."
"I DON'T (BLEEP) CARE WHAT YOU (BLEEP) THINK! YOU DESTROYED MY (BLEEP) AXE, YOU (BLEEP)! I'M GONNA (BLEEP) KILL YOU!" He quickly took out a capsule and slammed it to the ground, creating a shroud of pink smoke. The smoke cleared out quickly, revealing a set of gargantuan amplifiers, with a microphone attached. Suddenly, a salvo of missiles destroyed the amplifiers, the explosion throwing him a few feet forward.
You then see a big yellow mecha piloted by Su, with Sarah sitting on its left shoulder. "Not on my watch!" Su exclaimed with much enthusiasm.
Hendrix got up and saw that now his giant amplifiers were discombobulated, too. Suddenly, the Hinata girls surrounded him, all looking at him with anger in their faces. "Oh, crap." The girls all gave him evil glares. Then…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHH!" He was pounded to a pulp.
(O)
Yomiko had Naru on her shoulders as she and Keitaro finally made it to the center structure.
"Maehara-chan told us that Henry Gray made rejuvenation chambers at the bottom level of the Center Structure, which is not too far from us." Yomiko said. "They were originally made to heal injured I-jin, but we could also use it to our own convenience." She approached Keitaro. "You take care of Narusegawa-san, ok? I know there's going to be more I-jin coming for us, so I'll distract them, while you put Narusegawa-san in a chamber and look over her. After she's fully revived, you two will have to take the fortress out on your own, alright?"
"What?" Keitaro replied. Yomiko approached him and grabbed his cheeks, then stretched them and let them go.
"Ow!" Keitaro held his cheeks. "What was that for?"
"Encouragement." Yomiko answered without missing a beat. "Nancy always did that to me."
Keitaro scratched his head. "Who's Nancy?"
Never mind that." Yomiko replied. "I'll explain later. Just take care of her, ok?" She put Naru on his shoulders. "By the way, you two make a great couple, you know that?"
"Really?" He said.
"Of course. You two have this vibe going on when you 're together. I can feel it!"
"Really?" Keitaro's face turned red. "I'll see to it that she'll be ok, all right?"
"Thanks." Yomiko left. Keitaro headed towards a room and put Naru in one of the many rejuvenation chambers neatly aligned to his right.
(O)
Later, The Paper was wandering the halls of the center structure when she saw a figure standing in front of her. She gave him a quick glance. "YOU! Come into the light!"
"Since this hallway is strewn with lights, I'm already in the light." He said.
Yomiko knew instantly who it was. "Johannes Gutenberg!"
Suddenly, papers came from the floor, walls, and ceiling and encircled Johann.
"A Paper Master?" Yomiko said in shock.
"Precisely!"
(O)
Naru was sleeping safe and sound in her chamber, healing her injuries while Keitaro was looking around to see if anyone was coming for them. There hasn't been a sign of life, yet. Then, he saw two automatons approaching him. By the way they appeared they seemed to be works from Jacques de Vaucanson. Just as Keitaro saw them, they quickly came for him to attack with cattle prods. Keitaro saw the attack and jumped over them, then he went in to punch one of them, but it blocked his fist.
"Crap!" was all that escaped his mouth before he has pounded to the ground and relentlessly shocked by the automatons' cattle prods. "YEEEEOWCH! THAT HURTS! OW! OW! OW! AGONY!"
Just as he was getting fried, the door to the one operating chamber opened, with smoke escaping fro it. Naru stepped out and looked at herself. She was impressed when she saw that about all her injuries have healed. She saw Keitaro getting electrocuted and she quickly came up to them and used her signature atomic punch to send both of them clear out of the fortress. She saw Keitaro lying on the floor in a nice black crisp. "You all right?"
"I can't believe you asked that question!" Keitaro cried out. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, Naru."
"No problem." Naru replied.
(O)
Paper was flying all over the halls as Yomiko was struggling to shield herself from Johann's paper attacks. The I-jin knew that she was having trouble catching up, so he put a grin on his face. Then, he pointed his finger at her, and… a pressurized blast of black ink shot out and almost hit The Paper. Yomiko looked to see a trace of ink on her shoulders and looked at him.
"Hah! How's that?" Johann mused.
"What the hell did you do?" Agent Paper said.
"I forgot to tell you. I'm not just a Paper Master, but I'm also an Ink Master! Ha-ha! I can shoot ink out of any part of my body! My entire anatomy is nothing but paper flesh and ink blood! Ha ha ha!"
"You can't be serious."
"You want to go again?"
(O)
Naru and Keitaro were standing in a fancy elevator leading up to the top floor of the center structure. They look at each other; both are psyched.
"So we have to do this alone, huh?" Naru spoke.
"Yeah." Keitaro answered. "Readman-sensei said she would stop the I-jin from reaching us so we have the clearance needed to stop the fortress. All we can do now is accomplish our mission and hope everyone's okay."
The elevator stops and the two get out with utmost caution. They creep along the top floor with utmost caution. They were walking around the floor, even taking a little time to enjoy the atmosphere that went with the top floor. The hallways now resembled that of a ritzy hotel, walls and floor in marble and an arched ceiling with chandeliers perfectly aligned. Eventually, they reached what looked like the control room. They only took peeks because they didn't want to get caught. The control room was fairly large, with monitors and consoles all around. There, they saw two people, one was sitting in front of a console and one was sitting on the floor, seemingly meditating.
"What now?" Naru whispered.
"I have no idea. YOU'RE the genius." Keitaro answered.
"Don't patronize me." Naru snapped back.
Suddenly, Keitaro got a cramp on his left ankle, causing him to fall on Naru. "Dammit! Why did I have to fall, now? Why, GYRAX!" After he fell, his head became safely nestled between Naru's breasts.
"Now isn't the time, you pervert!" She punched him right into the I-jin control room. Now, she realized that she made a mistake. "Shoot! Bad reflex!"
Bad reflex is an understatement, as Keitaro flew right towards Madame Curie, only to be stopped by… an AT Field?
Naru watched in shock and awe. "No way! That was the same force field as from when we tried to get in here." She rushed into the room to aid Keitaro.
Suddenly, Zhang stood up from his meditation and looked at Naru aiding Keitaro. "Agent Human Shield and Miss Fist. I'm glad to see you." He said in an emotionless voice.
Keitaro got up. "Who the hell are you? And why do you sound so bored (or hopped up on dope or something)?"
"For your information, I'm not drugged in any way. Second, I'm Zhang Sanfeng, founder of Tai Chi, and all around master of chi."
"That force field was YOURS?" Naru asked.
"Yes, it is? It's called the AT Field, because those who see it are struck with Absolute Terror."
"Another Evangelion reference?" Keitaro said. "Why, GYRAX!"
Madame Curie also stood up. "And I'm Marie Curie, pioneer in radioactivity. I'm responsible for Laputa's nuclear engine." A pattern in her right arm began to mysteriously glow green. She aimed her arm towards them with her palm open, and a green energy blast suddenly shot out, almost hitting Naru and Keitaro on the spot. Luckily, they just avoided it.
"Ha-ha!" Madame Curie mused. "Let's just see if Keitaro's infamous invulnerability can withstand a radioactive blast. Who knows what could happen if I actually hit him. I may even take the invincibility away from his skin. Gamma rays can do weird things to you."
Keitaro could hardly believe what he said. If he lost his touch, he might not survive another Naru punch. Naru couldn't believe it either. Madame curried shot another gamma ray at them, almost hitting them again. Suddenly, Zhang came out of nowhere to attack. Keitaro used his skin to block a kick from him. Then, Naru punched him to the other side to the control room. After that, they avoid another radioactive blast.
Madam Curie couldn't stop herself. "Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho!"
(O)
Yomiko put up a paper barrier to shield herself from Johann's deadly ink blasts. Then, her barrier turned into a claw and tried to grab her, but she quickly rolled out of the way. She breathed heavily as she glared at him, thinking about what to do next.
Damn! She thought. His paper magic is on par with mine. Add to it an extra power, and I'm between a rock and a hard place. She was completely focused on him, that insidious but stupid grin on his face telling him that he has the upper hand. Suddenly, paper missiles flew towards her. The Paper dodged a few of them, but one successfully hit her, covering her in ink and sending her a few feet back. Then, four paper tentacles came from his back to strike her, two of them slitting her left arm. Agent Paper used ripped pieces of paper to bandage herself and make sure no ink went into her bloodstream. She gathered any paper she could reach and formed it into a giant ball and threw it at him. He used his paper magic to make the ball explode before it reached him, but alas, that was merely a diversionary tactic. Yomiko ran up to him with a paper arm-blade on her right arm and thrusts it right into his solar plexus.
Johann's face became one of pure shock. "I'm…an IDIOT!" He exploded in a burst of ink. Yomiko looked at herself and saw that she was covered in ink. She had to clean herself.
(O)
Zhang punched Keitaro to a nearby wall in the control room, but Naru punched Zhang to the exact same wall.
He has my atomic punch and Keitaro's invulnerability. What to do? Zhang came back to throw another punch at Naru, but Keitaro came to shield her from it. Naru used another atomic punch to send Zhang to another wall. Then, they barely avoid another blast of radioactivity form Madame Curie.
I can't throw Keitaro at Radiation Girl over there. She'll just screw up his invincibility! She needed Keitaro's invulnerability right now, for it's become far more useful than just a punching bag. She realized it was also is invulnerability that saved her may times since they became temp agents. Suddenly, she saw someone come up from behind her and scratch her left cheek.
"Ow!" She put her hand on her cheek, and then she looked at it; it was bleeding. "Dammit! What was that for?" She looked and saw Shinobu, or what was supposed to be Shinobu, but Naru already had a feeling that it might not be. She stood still as she stared her down. "Wh-What happened to Shinobu?"
Keitaro looked at Naru, and then the girl. "You mean that's…"
"If I was the I-jin," the girl interjected. "Naru-sempai's veins would be purple already. Shinobi's fingernails were poisoned."
Naru looked at her wrist and saw that nothing was wrong with her. "She's right."
"Shinobu!" Keitaro exclaimed as he quickly ran to her. "Shinobu, you're okay!"
"Yep. I won, isn't that great?"
"Yeah." Keitaro said. "But what happened to the clone?"
"About that."
Zhang went to attack, but Shinobu saw it and kicked him back to a nearby wall. Then she easily jumped over a Gamma ray from Madame curie. The girl quickly ran to her and performed a flair kick and tripped her. The I-jin woman then had a sheet of paper at her throat.
"Dayamn!" Keitaro cried out. "She kicked both their asses!"
"Is that Readman-sensei?" Naru interrupted.
Keitaro looked and saw Yomiko holding a sheet of paper over Madame Curie's throat. "My God, yeah, it is!"
"Urashima-san! Narusegawa-san!" Yomiko shouted. "Take the controls!"
"Roger!" Keitaro ran up, only to bump into another AT Field.
"It's an AT Field!" Shinobu cried out.
Yomiko was confused. "What's it called?"
Keitaro got his fist ready to punch through it, but Shinobu touched his shoulder. "Sempai let me try."
"?"
Shinobu quickly ran up to Zhang with an arm-blade extended and cut the AT Field in half. Everyone else, especially Zhang, could hardly believe how easily she broke through it.
"She sliced through the AT Field like it was just a tomato!" Naru said.
Shinobu went up to Zhang and held an arm-blade to his throat. She turned to Keitaro. "Sempai! Take the controls, now!"
"Right!" The former ronin ran up to the controls.
(O)
The hallways on the bottom of the center structure were littered with paper; a metallic sphere rose up from the pile of paper and into the air. As the sphere hovered, ink and paper began to rise up and formed circles below and one circle around the sphere. The paper and ink then began to form a physical structure. Arms and legs came out; hands and fingers began to form; hair grew out of the head; feet touched the ground. Then ther white paper began to turn into a flesh color. Johann Gutenberg has officially regenerated his entire body. He chuckled evilly and looked behind him.
(O)
Hendrix slowly got up after the girls went back to the Hinata Inn. He stumbled towards the annex, which lied in front of him. He took a hexagonal medallion out of his pocket and held it in front of the annex. He began to laugh maniacally as he may have managed to fool the Hinata girls and finally reach the forbidden annex. The medallion began to glow violet.
At that moment, a shadow loomed over the Hinata Inn, covering it completely. The shadow… came from Laputa, the I-jin fortress.
To be continued…
Now review and tell me what you think.
Next Episode of Love-Or-Die Hina
Chapter 6b: I've Reached Climax! (Part 2) or The End?
Author's Notes:
Henry Gray was an English anatomist known for his book Anatomy, Descriptive and Surgical, first published in 1858; it was a medical reference directed at physicians. It's also known as Gray's Anatomy.
If Shinobu's a ninja, she has to have immense chi to easily break through Zhang's AT Field, right? The battle between the two Shinobus is also a tribute to the Read or Die O.V.A. I wanted to make it just like the fight scene between Nancy and Nancy in the anime.
The scene when Jimi Hendrix flipped out was inspired by a hilarious police video I saw once on Spike TV. Basically, this driver of a red SUV was pulled off by a state trooper and needless to say, he was pissed. When the officer gave hi the ticket and told hi how much it cost (which was $137.50), he totally lost it; he was screaming and swearing like it was the flipping Apocalypse. Surprisingly, after that incident, the SUV driver became a more composed and calmer happy-go-lucky guy.
Just one chapter left! See you there!
GYRAX