Chapter 2: Cookie Never Lies
"For the last time, I do not love anyone!" Mace cried while shaking his fist at the tiny jedi master. He watched with satisfaction as Yoda fell off his seat with eyes as wide as tennis balls.
"Taken by dark side you have," Yoda cried hysterically, pointing a stubby finger at the baffled jedi.
Frantically thinking of a solution to end the argument between the two respected jedi masters, Obi-Wan tried distracting them by asking Anakin to read his fortune.
"Oh! See fortune of Chosen One we will," Yoda cried gleefully, completely forgetting about his dispute with Mace. He watched tentatively, eyes never leaving Anakin, as Obi-Wan handed his student a fortune cookie.
Anakin groaned, still clutching his upset stomach.
"Do I have to?"
"Have fortune told you will."
"We could see the future," a jedi pointed out suddenly. "Do we really need to rely on these cookies?"
Yoda turned and glared at the jedi.
"All powerful the cookie is! Muddled and stupid your mind seems."
Anakin pushed the cookie away.
"I don't need a stinking cookie to tell me my future."
"Too sure, you are! Eat it you must!" Yoda ordered. "Unless muddled and stupid your mind is too."
Anakin stiffened.
No one can tell me that I am muddled and stupid.
Glaring at the cookie, Anakin snatched it up and found the slip of paper.
"You- you cookie, I'm not afraid of you!"
Boldly unfolding the slip Anakin read the message.
"What! 'Muddled and stupid your mind is'," Anakin read in shock. "Stupid cookie! What do you know?"
Obi-Wan hid his smile as Anakin tore the fortune into little bits and started ferociously stamping on them. After that, the young padawan drew out his lightsaber and started slicing the tiny slips of paper into even smaller bits, until it appeared that it would take at least a billion years to put them all back together -not that anyone would bother trying.
"Then again, maybe some of the nonsense is correct," laughed Obi-Wan, causing Anakin to glare at the jedi's direction.
Turning back to the fragments of the slip of paper, Anakin swept them into his hand and lighted them on fire.
"Mwahaha! That is what happens to people and things that insult the Chosen One," the boy laughed. "Burn you horrible pieces of paper. Burn."
All right, now it would take more than a billion years to put the pieces back together- actually I don't think it could be done anymore.
Suddenly the young padawan turned to Obi-Wan with a evil gleam in his eye. "You have insulted the Chosen One too. Now you shall end up like the cookie." Smiling maliciously, Anakin drew out a blow torch from under his chair and began to chase Obi-Wan around the room.
"Now Anakin, you don't want to do this do you?" Obi-Wan cried as he leapt over the table. "I mean, am I not like a father to you?"
Ignoring Anakin and Obi-Wan, Yoda reached forward and grabbed a cookie from the plate.
"My turn, I think it is."
Everyone on the table leaned forward eagerly as they waited to hear Master Yoda's fortune told. Even Anakin stopped his chase to listen to what the cookie had to say.
"Mmm..." Yoda cleared his voice and read out to the whole room, "Sweet voice you have; sing for us you will."
Everyone's mouth fell open.
"See? Never lies, the cookie does."
"You have no need to sing for us Master Yoda," a jedi said quickly.
Everyone else agreed immediately.
"Yeah, you need to save your voice for um..."
"For the council meeting tomorrow," cried another jedi.
"Yeah," Mace agreed. "The council just um, loves -cough, cough- listening to your voice all day."
Yoda looked at Mace with narrowed eyes. "No council meeting tomorrow, we have."
Mace looked completely dumbfounded.
"Your mind, love has muddled," Yoda said bluntly, causing Mace to blush tomato red.
Thinking quickly, the jedi cried, "There has been a change of plans. There will be a meeting tomorrow."
The council members in the room groaned.
The council members won't be impressed with having another meeting, Mace thought while shaking his head. They are going to kill me.
"Not notified, I was," Yoda mused.
"We were going to tell you but-"
"Nevertheless, obey the all powerful cookie, I will," Yoda said firmly. "Sweet voice, I have. Sing for you, I will."
All the jedi panicked and began screaming in protest. However, the short creature clambered onto the dinner table and started hollering -um... I mean singing- at the top of his magnificent voice.
"Lalalalalala!"
To be continued...
Author's Note: I got the idea for the story while I was eating a fortune cookie. Actually, the fortune I got was the same as Yoda's but I worded it differently because it would have been strange to have Yoda using proper grammar.