Wow! I almost died of shock when I saw how many reviews I got for that last chapter! You guys make me so happy! I'm sitting here watching Scissor Sisters on Live8 on the TV, and if you haven't already registered yourself on Live8livedotcom then please go and do so! I sound like a pusher, but it's kind of an important thing for me at the moment. And, about those reviews, here are the replies!
Endoh Chiaki: Well I hope you like this chapter as much as you've liked the others.
PandaPjays: Scorn to Mariah! I have a grudge against OC fics too, that's why I want to try one. It sounds really strange, but after hating mpreg for a million years, I decided to try one, and (a LONG time ago) I actually didn't like yaoi. Good job I got converted, huh?
miriam906:I read your fic, and reviewed. Although I'll confess that I'm the cause of some of your errant hit count- I opened the fic a couple of times intending to read it and then got told to get off the computer. My Mum's in the midst of a divorce and my brother's off to uni in September so I keep getting shipped off the computer.
Yami Pandora: I'm glad you like it, and I feel kinda sorry for Kai too at the moment...
MikeyWaysgirl: I agree wholeheartedly. But Tyson isn't mean, he's just stupid...
Echo in the Dark: I can support them putting in one OC just for Kai, but personally I don't like it when EVERY male character gets an OC. I think if you put in too many OCs it becomes more like an original story than a work of fanfiction. To be honest, I have nothing against OCs. I just don't like lots of them in one story...
darkangelintheshadows: The attendant did get what he asked for, I couldn't not have Rei slap him after what he did...
Thin-K: Isn't it amazing how one sentence can make everyone hate Tyson? Ah, he's just stupid. And he doesn't -really- want to train, he just thinks Kai's dangerous and he doesn't want Rei to see him!
Reis1gurl: Will he ever be normal again? Well, this chapter explains that, so read on!
Little-Purple-Phoenix: I'm glad you like it, and yes Tyson -is- an idiot, isn't he?
Kiko cat: Yeah, yson's stupid. Story of his life, huh?
Just that good: I think just about ANYONE would prefer Kai's arms to a sofa...I know I would (despite the fact that Kai is actually a bunch of pixels. Ah well.).
Mei Kimari: My story alerts are being annoying like that as well...bah. I'm glad you like the idea, I always aim to do something different...
snowy leapord 101: You bet'cha I will! And I'm glad you like it too!
animeobsession: They're so protective of each other that it makes me squee (make strange noises that mean I find something immensely cute). I LOVE insane Kai!
Ellen: Yeah, I forgot about half of them in my overuse-of-OC induced rage...thanks for pointing them out!
skimmie: Here it is!
KyokiXKurama: I don't follow Yu-Yu-Hakusho, sorry. I had a look at it on absoluteanime and it looks good, but at the moment I'm following Gundam and Fruits Basket so my every spare penny goes on more manga and DVDs... And I'm glad you like the things I write. I can't agree about the parings though...I'll read and write ANY pairing so long as it's yaoi! Sometimes I try my hand at het, but usually as a side plot to the main one...
Sugar Goose: Yeah, I am quite fast. I'm so impatient, so I try and post every day, two days? Fast, anyway. I like childish Kai too, especially with his teddy bear!
Ice Spirit: A lot of people have been pointing out that I missed people, so thanks...usually I just forget about the girls since I'm such a yaoi lover. In Gundam I hate Relena with an undying passion because not only is she annoying but she gets in the way of the yaoi-licious goodness...
Lainyisme: Yay! Another angst lover! Some people think I'm evil for making the characters but I like to make them -deserve- their happy ending...
ArcticalWolf: Thanks for pointing them out...I tend to forget the girls, being a yaoi-lover...and I, too, had days before yaoi. How shameful... I was obsessed with Final Fantasy het.. These days I wouldn't dare read stuff like that...
ray-is-sexy: I like your name (and agree compoletely), and I like learning things in other languages too...I can say 'I am a fish' in three languages beside English.You know, in case I ever go travelling and want to be comitted to a mental asylum like Kai...
Kanilla: The site deletes any email addresses and websites it finds in reviews...um...I have no idea what site you were trying to give me. Sorry. And thanks for the compliment. It can inflate my already over-inflated head, which probably won't be so inflated when I get my exam results back on the 25th August...I hate how they make you wait so long for them...
Person-whose-name-the-site-appears-to-have-deleted: Thank you very much, for being so nice about my writing -and- for pointing out the rest of the female beybladers. You're helping me prove my point that there don't need to be 5+ OCs in any given story...
Celestial-Dragon-Demon: The translation sites are...they're on a review reply for another chapter, I can't actually remember all of them...um...Chapter Four, the reply for SoulSister has them in.
Curtis Zidane Ziraa: I usually think job interviews are more scary than interesting, but I can see where you're coming from...
Prozacfairy: 'pink fluffball'...bwahahahahaha! I like it! People have such great names for Mariah- the Pink Menace, and now the Pink Fluffball...I love them all!
And now...the chapter! And if you didn't get a reply, it's because the site is stopping me from seeing the most recent couple of reviews, so I'm sorry about that.
"Hey, Rei!" Rei paused outside the door of Kai's room and turned, to find Tala, Bryan, Spencer and Ian behind him. "Are you seeing Kai?" Rei nodded wordlessly, reached out his hand and the paused, hand stretched towards the door handle.
"Don't go in all at once. He won't be able to deal with that many people. Two or three maybe, but no more. And that two or three includes me."
Tala nodded, knowing what to expect. "C'mon, Bry, you and me can go in first. And...he's not the same as he used to be, Just go with it, and whatever you do, don't mention Voltaire, or he'll freak out, okay?" Bryan nodded, and they followed Rei into the room. Kai was sitting on the floor, scribbling randomly on a piece of paper, poking holes in it and tearing it at the edges. He wrote something, then scribbled it out, then wrote it again, and scribbled it out. Tala and Bryan shared uneasy glances and Rei looked at them both, enquiring.
"He's writing...he's writing the Russian for rape..." Tala whispered in his ear. Rei paled slightly, then knelt down beside Kai, enough in front of him for Kai to be able to see who it was. Kai looked up at him, looked down, then looked up again, surprised. "Rei?"
"I told Tyson he could stick training. And I said if I fell asleep here again he should just leave me. He thinks you'll hurt me, but I told him he's an idiot for even imagining that." Rei leaned forwards and kissed Kai softly on his cheek. "Tala and Bryan are here, and Spencer and Ian said they'd come along some time later..." Kai turned his head, blinked, then went back to scribbling. Rei took hold of the pencil and Kai looked up at him, puzzled. "What are you drawing?" Kai answered with a shrug. "Why don't you draw me a picture of you, so I can think about you when I'm not here?"
Kai blinked, took a fresh sheet of paper, and drew a stick man in the corner, gave it a tuft of spiky hair, then scribbled the rest of the page in black pencil. Rei tutted, shaking his head. "It's spikier than that, Kai...give it here..." Kai handed over the colouring pencils, and Rei set to work, drawing a little chibi-Kai, with a Rei beside him, giving a peace sign and grinning. "And then there's Tala and Bryan..." Rei added them in, colouring Tala's hair the brightest red he could find, making the two chibi-Demolition Boys hold hands. On inspiration, he drew a love heart behind himself and Kai. "Who else? Spencer and Ian..." Rei added them in, making Ian complete with wedding ring and baby. "And Max, and Kenny...Tyson, even though he's a pain in the backside..." They all shone there, surrounding Kai in the picture, all laughing and smiling and happy. "Can you think of anyone I haven't put on?"
"What about Dranzer?" Put in Tala, crouching down as well. Bryan joined him, so that they were sitting in a little circle. Rei added Dranzer, giving her beak an upwards turn, making her smile for her master. "Any more you can think of?" Asked Rei. Kai shook his head, then picked up the drawing, fingers tracing over all of the little chibis. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth "Spaseeba, Rei."
The door opened suddenly, and an attendant ushered a protesting Spencer and Ian into the room. Kai froze, and Rei closed his eyes. Another crisis. When would they all learn to just leave Kai alone? He took hold of Kai's hand and squeezed it tightly. Kai opened his mouth and closed it again, talking without making any noise. He made a cracked, choked sound in the back of his throat and whimpered, looking around at his old teammates, seeing only too many people, too many to cope with, too many to keep watching...
"I think you'd better go..." Rei suggested, feeling Kai starting to shake, dropping the picture and shifting away. Rei followed him to the wall and hugged him. "It's okay, Kai, it's safe, they won't hurt you..."
"Y-Yabayus..." Kai's knees rose to his chest and he laid his head on them, covering it with his arms. Rei looked up at the other Demolition Boys and shook his head. "Kai, just look a them for me. Look at them." Kai glanced up and then let his head drop. "Kai, speak to them. They can talk back to you, I can't. Tell them what's worrying you, tell them in Russian, I'm sure one of them can translate for me..."
Kai blurted out a sentence in Russian, and Tala sighed, crouching down in front of him. "We're not going to hurt you, Kai. We just want to help. Is there anything we can do?" Kai whimpered again and turned, burying his face in Rei's neck and collar, starting to cry softly. Rei sighed.
"You should go. He needs to calm down..." Tala nodded, ruffling Kai's hair before leading the rest of his team out of the room. Kai sobbed, and Rei pulled the Russian into his lap, encircling him in a warm embrace. "Shh, Kai, it's okay, I love you, so everything's okay." He rubbed Kai's back soothingly. "Shh, Kai. I love you. Wo ai ni. Aishiteru. All of them. Ya Teb...okay, well I still can't get the hang of Russian pronunciation, but I love you Kai. I'm here for you. Whenever I'm here, it's safe, okay?" Kai nodded. "Should I ask Tala back?" Another nod. "Well, get off me a minute so I can go after them." Kai obeyed, and Rei left the room.
"It's scary, seeing him like that..." Mused Ian, sighing. Tala nodded.
"Voltaire...what a bastard. They put him in prison for tax dodging, they should have hanged him for being a...a...I can't even say it. He's disgusting..." Tala ranted, as they walked along.
"Hey, Tala! Wait!" Rei sped up behind them. "Tala...could you come back?"
"Has he calmed down?" Rei nodded.
"Well...sort of. He was scared because he doesn't trust anyone any more, he thinks everyone's out to hurt him, and if there are too many people he can't watch them all at once to make sure they're not trying to hurt him...if that makes sense. But he said he wants to talk to you all...together. It might be too much, but at least let him try..."
Tala nodded, and then started walking back in the direction they'd come in. "I thought he started speaking in English...why's he gone back to Russian?" Rei clenched his fists.
"Some idiot guard went and pinned him up against a wall...I...I've never seen anyone so scared...I was scared for him...he was screaming so hard he was foaming at the mouth! He was twitching, not like shaking, actually twitching...and then he went unconscious. He hasn't been the same since. The first day after that his psychologist couldn't see him because he just went...wild."
The Demolition Boys buzzed angrily, then stopped as they reached Kai's room again. Rei opened the door and walked inside. Kai was sitting where they'd left him, but now he was holding Lapushka tightly. Rei fell suddenly ignorant of the Demolition Boys and went over to him, sitting down beside him and kissing his cheek softly as Tala and the others came and sat down. "Kai, are you okay? Is this okay?" Asked Rei, concerned. Kai nodded hesitantly, and Rei snuggled up beside him, taking hold of his free hand and squeezing it gently. "Kai...would you mind if I left for a second? I said I'd phone Lee." A lie, but a believable one, he hoped. Kai looked highly doubtful, but then, a tiny nod. Rei kissed him again and left the room.
"Kai...should we speak to you in Russian or English?" Asked Tala, moving closer to Kai and laying an arm around his shoulders. Kai shifted away, looking fearful. Tala sighed softly and leaned back against the wall. "What's the bear called?"
"L..." Kai blinked. "Lapushka..."
"Rei gave you it, right?"
Kai blinked again, then nodded, looking over at the wall opposite. Tala sighed, looking around at the other guys. They hadn't seen Kai before, they were probably as shocked as he'd been... Bryan was sitting there looking somewhat horrified, Ian was shaking his head, and Spencer was looking as if he were about to cry. Kai looked at them and shifted away a little further. Spencer coughed suddenly and Kai jumped, startled, hugging his bear to his chest.
"What did he -do- to you, Kai?" Asked Bryan, sighing. Kai glared suddenly and stood up, walking over to his bed and hiding in the duvet again. Tala kicked Bryan on the ankle and went over to join Kai, respectfully keeping his distance. "Ignore Bryan, Kai. It's okay. We can't pretend to know how you feel but we're here for you. If you want to tell us what happened, that's okay, but if you don't, that's okay too. It's alright to be frightened, but please don't think we'd hurt you, because none of us would." Tala's voice was soft and gentle. "He's not worth it, Kai. Please, just try and talk to us. Even just a few words."
"I..." Kai tried to pull his English back into his mind. "I'm too...weak..."
"That's not true, Kai."
"I...I'm...s..." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, dragging the unwilling language onto his tongue. "I'm s...scared..."
"I know, Kai, I know, but we're all here to help you. Everyone wants you to get better, Kai..."
"He said I was stupid and...that was why...he said...he said it was...f-for my own..." Kai paused. "For my o-own...g-good..."
Tala sighed. "Rape is never in anyone's best interests, Kai."
"R...Rape..." Kai sniffed. "I can't...I...I..." He sobbed and pulled the duvet up over his head, pressing himself into the corner. Tala bit his lip. He'd been wrong to use that word...they didn't even know exactly what Voltaire had done to him, but judging by his reaction to being pinned against the wall, it was highly likely...and highly sickening. "L-Leave me alone...d-don't hurt me..." Kai whispered fearfully.
"No, Kai, I won't hurt you."
"L-Liar!" Kai yelled. Tala reached out and touched the blanket, but Kai exploded out of it, screeching. "DON'T TOUCH ME!"
"Okay, I won't touch you, Kai...calm down..." Kai glared at him, breathing heavily.
"Don't touch me...I d-don't...I don't...like it."
"Okay, that's okay, that's fine." Kai shivered and held Lapushka tightly.
"I want Rei. Where's Rei?"
"He went to use the phone. Should I go and find him for you?" Kai eyed him suspiciously, then nodded. Tala got up, and left the room. Kai watched the other three suspiciously, eyes darting between them until Tala came back in, with Rei following behind him. The neko-jin smiled and came over to Kai, stroking his hair gently. "Did any of them hurt you?"
"N-No..."
"There you go then."
Kai flung his arms around Rei's waist and pressed his face into Rei's chest. Rei sat down, holding Kai against himself tightly. "I'm sorry!"
"Hm?"
"I'm sorry f-for being so p-pathetic...b-but I'm scared...I'm so scared...s-s-sometimes I d-don't even know what I'm s-scared of!" Kai burst out, voice slightly muffled by the silk of Rei's tabard. "I'm scared..." Kai whined, fingers digging into Rei's skin.
"Kai, you don't have to be scared. No-one wants to hurt you, not on purpose..."
"B-But Grandfather-"
"Don't think about him. He's nothing, he doesn't exist! He's just a bad dream, a memory, and he'll never be able to hurt you again!" Rei cried, holding Kai tighter. "If he ever comes anywhere near you again it'll be over my dead body!"
"B-But-"
"No buts! Forget about him, Kai, he isn't worth the pain! Please, Kai, please, just remember that it's over. It's been years since he did anything to you. It's all just a horrible thing that happened in the past and now you have to start again because you can't let him control you like this! It's not wrong to have friends, Kai, it doesn't make you weak, it makes you strong!" Rei took a deep breath. "When that guard pushed me over, you were so worried you pulled up all that strength from nowhere- you pushed away four guards, Kai, and it was because you wanted to make sure I was okay! It's not wrong to have friends, it's not wrong to be in love! Did it feel wrong to you when I fell asleep in your arms?"
"N...No..." Whispered Kai. Rei pulled him back slightly and kissed him, a searing, desperate kiss, as quick as it was passionate.
"You don't have to be scared, Kai, you don't have to think people will hurt you. If you trust people, if you give them a chance... Did they hurt you when I wasn't here? Did they even -look- like they wanted to hurt you? No, they didn't! People don't want to hurt people, only sick, twisted people like your grandfather like seeing people in pain! Don't let the memory of that BASTARD ruin your life any more!"
"Rei...I-"
"I know you're scared, Kai, I know it's hard but please, let yourself forget him!"
"R-Rei...I...I'm sorry-"
"No! Stop apologising! None of this is your fault! But only you have the power to stop him from winning. And I know you can do it because you aren't weak!" Rei's eyes filled with tears. "You're strong, Kai. You're so strong inside that it makes me jealous sometimes. You're so strong, Kai...I know you can get over all of this..."
"I'm not strong..."
"Yes you are!" Rei argued. "My cat side is screaming at me to submit to you, to let you dominate me, and the dominant person is always the stronger of the two! I can break bricks in half with my bare hands and yet I submit to you because you're stronger! Stop letting him brainwash you! Kai, I'm begging you, just try! Try talking to your psychologist, try talking to me, try talking to anyone!"
"B-But-"
"Kai, I only have one wish at the moment, and that is to see you outside of this room! If you love me, prove it! Tell me what he did to you!"
"Rei..."
"No-one's going to laugh, no-one's going to think you're weak, just tell me!" Kai hesitated, fearful, then opened his mouth. Nothing came out. He sniffed, shook his head, and tried again.
"He...used to...to...t-touch me...b-because he s-said that I owed him f-f-for looking after me after m-my parents...died." Kai said, stuttering badly. He took a deep breath and continued, shaking like a leaf. "And w-when I got older he...he used to...he...hit me...b-because I wanted friends and he s-s-said I c-couldn't have them b-because it w-would m-m-make me weaker...and...he...he..." Kai's stutters died away, leaving the other five occupants of the room in shocked silence. "He used t-to make me...m-m-make me...he...I c-can't...I can't s-s-say it..." Rei clicked his tongue sympathetically.
"It's okay, Kai, just calm down and take you time."
"He made me p-p-pleasure him!" Kai burst out, bursting into tears at the same time. "And he r-raped me and I w-wasn't allowed t-to tell anyb-anybody! B-because I w-was so pathetic and n-nobody could kn-know about anything so I c-couldn't talk to anyone and if he s-saw me talking to someone he would...w-would...he would...say things to me...and I...I c-couldn't..." Kai's wavering voice shut off, and he mouthed silently, tears pouring down his face in glittering streams. Rei wiped his tears away gently, cooing softly in his ear. "There, Kai, see, you did it, now calm down, because you're going to get better...you're going to get better and everything'll be okay..."
Kai sniffed, feeling another set of arms hold him. "I'm s-scared..." He whispered.
"No, Kai, don't be scared. It's only me, Tala. Come on, Kai, you can do this, you can forget about him..."
"I..."
"Can. Say it, Kai, say that you can." Whispered Rei. Kai clutched at him, shivering.
"I...I c-c...can..." He shivered as another pair of arms encircled him, and a hand touched his shoulder. Someone pressed against his back and he sighed. Somehow he wasn't scared any more...he knew that they weren't his grandfather...knew that they wouldn't try to hurt him... "R-Rei..." Rei tightened his hold around Kai's waist, knowing that now was when he needed most of all to be able to say the right things.
"I'm here, Kai, it's okay..."
"I d-don't...like..." Kai opened his eyes finally, staring straight into Rei's. "I don't like being in here..."
"I know you don't, Kai, but that's okay."
"I...I...don't think I'm scared any more..."
"Good. Oh Kai I'm so glad..."
"I don't...understand..."
"It doesn't matter! Oh Kai..." Rei felt his eyes filling with tears of relief and joy.
"I'm sorry..." Kai said, puzzled, thinking he'd done something to upset Rei. The neko-jin shook his head, gave a choking laugh, and kissed Kai full on the lips. "I'm not crying because I'm sad...I'm crying because I...I'm so happy!"
Somehow he knew that now Kai had started recovering, he wouldn't stop...
"Hey. I'm Tala, I came about getting a job here..." Tala smiled uneasily, but stayed resolute. He knew there were children like Kai in orphanages, and he was sure this one was no exception. But, the way he figured it, if he was good with children, and he knew he was, then he could stop them from having to suffer like Kai had. He didn't have the school grades or the other qualifications necessary to become a psychologist, but he could at least try and help in some other way...
The woman in front of him looked flustered, balancing two babies and a bottle. Tala reached out and took one of the infants, holding it to his chest and smiling. "Um...you must be Mrs. Korbachov?"
"Yes, yes, and no, there is no job for you here!"
"But...you look run off your feet..."
"There is no job for you! You're a man, children don't trust men!" Tala smiled as one of the children in the next room saw him.
"Oh, I don't know, I'm pretty good with kids. You see...before this orphanage relocated, I used to live here. Didn't you ever hear about Tala Ivanov?"
"Mister...why's your hair all red and spiky?" Tala turned to find a small, thin little girl behind him. He knelt down, smiling.
"I don't know, it was that colour when I was born. How did yours get to be such a beautiful blonde, hm?"
"Mama's was this colour."
"She must have been very beautiful, having hair like that. What's your name?"
"Saskia."
"Really? One of my friends has a wife called Saskia, but she's not as nice as you. She doesn't like me very much..."
"Why?" The child asked, wide eyed. Tala smiled, then laughed softly.
"She thinks I'm crazy."
"They said my Papa was crazy because he killed Mama."
"One of my friends...another one of them...he had to go into hospital because he had things wrong with his mind, but he's all better now. Maybe one day your papa will get better too." Saskia smiled shyly, and reached up a hand to play with Tala's hair.
"I don't think you're crazy. You're nice." She giggled. "What's your name?"
"Tala."
"Hey! Tala's coming to live with us!" She called. The other children in the next room all stopped what they were doing and turned, and a few more appeared at the top of the stairs, looking inquisitive. Tala smiled round at them all, then turned to Mrs Korbachov. "So do I get a job, or not?"
"Hmm...you can have a trial period, and we'll have to run checks on you! But fine." Tala handed the baby back to her and went on to sit with the children, and tried to remember their names...
Russian:
Spaseeba: Thank you
Yabayus: I'm scared
Ya teb: Part of 'Ya tebya lyublyu', which means 'I love you'.
Lapushka: Little paw
Chinese :
Wo ai ni: I love you
Japanese:
Aishiteru: I love you
Next Chapter: The last chapter, unfortunately. Tala has a favour to ask of Kai.
R&R please! I'd like your opinion on the un-insaneifying of Kai (I know un-insaneifying isn't a word, but if Shakespeare can make up words then I can too!).