CH.3

I paced myself at a fast speedwalk down to Yoh's friend, Tao Ren's house. Tao Ren was one of the richest kids in town. You couldn't miss his house because it took up just about an entire block or two (that is, if you include the mini golf course). When I reached the gold-plated gates of Tao Ren's house I pressed the button to the telecom. Their butler answered. "Tao's residence? May I ask who you are calling upon?"

"This is Anna! Could you please tell Yoh, Yoh Asakura, to get himself out here before I have to drag him out in a body bag!"

"Yes, ma'am, I shall relay your message right away. Please hold."

I rolled my eyes impatiently as I leaned against the wall waiting for Yoh. Meanwhile, inside, the lights were off, there were disco lasers in every imaginable color shooting fro the ceiling to the walls. Music was pounding in the room, vibrating the walls, and upbeat, techno. At least thirty people were dancing in the dance room, which was the size of an entire dance studio. In the center of this bustling crowd of shaking dancers, Yoh, my future husband (though I am sorry to say) was dancing his heart out. Or rather, he was jerking his hips in odd ways guaranteeing that he'd one day thrust it right out of its sockets. I'd laugh if that happened. Surrounded by girls, Yoh was right at home. Just as he was starting to break out some of his famous pop moves, the butler pardoned himself through the crowd and said over the booming music, "Mr. Asakura! Mr. Asakura Yoh!"

Yoh suddenly stopped as he wiped his sweat smiling and asking the butler, "Yeah, my old man? What's the news? Has my mother come to get me?"

"No, sir," the butler answered in his monotone voice (the butler never spoke with any tone really, just kinda buzzed on), "but a lady by the name of Anna demands that you present yourself before her or she will enter this house and drag you out in a body bag. Of course, she was using much more force when she said this, sir."

"Ah HA!" Yoh said as he turned with his hands outstretched to his dancing audience. Everyone stopped dancing for a moment to look at Yoh. Yoh took one last shot of beer before he said in a loud, drunk voice, "My wifey is here to take me home! And we will share some mad sex when I get home!" Deafening cheers broke out as Yoh staggered through the crowd to the door.

Tao Ren, who was caught in the dancing crowd shouted out to Yoh, "Yohiiee! Give me a piece of that pretty little wifey of yours! I won't mind her in my room either!"

Yoh laughed and nearly fell over a nearby coffee table as he waved his hand at Tao Ren in that get-outta-here motion. The butler attempted to assist Yoh out, but Yoh waved him away saying with a slur, "Go in my old man! You should be retired by now!"

But, the butler assisted Yoh to the gate. When Yoh stepped out, the butler quickly brushed off his long black and white suit before he hurried back inside.

I stood there, arms crossed, face stern, examining my future husband as he hobbled on his feet, took a few crooked steps towards me, then, completely flopped over, grabbing the wall for balance. His face was shiny with sweat and his breath was just bitter with the smell of alcohol. The smell was so strong, I felt nauseated. "Wifey!" Yoh cried with joy.

"Don't call me that," I said, as I unfolded my arms and put my arm around Yoh's waist to help him walk.

"Wifey! My precious Anna wifey! You came to help me home!"

"I came to get you because no one else would…which, I'm not surprised to hear."

"Aww! That's nonsense!" Yoh cried as he waved his arms, making me almost fall over. It was hard to balance someone almost twice as heavy and yourself. Yoh let out a long, relieving burp before he continued, "Those girls back there love me! They would PAY to slip into my bed! But you! You got it for FREE! Lucky you!"

"Lucky me," I remarked sarcastically, "I get stuck with the most attractive, the most intelligent, the most sober man in the city."

"YEsh!" Yoh cried, "NO!" he suddenly shouted again. I cringed at the volume of his voice ringing in my ears, "NO! NO! NO! I'm attractive! I'm intelligent! But right now, I no no no sober."

I rolled my eyes and attempted to walk straight, but, in the end, I ended up walking all the way to his house in a zigzag pattern along the sidewalk. When I finally reached his door, his mother answered. Pink curlers were perched in her hair like parrots in a brown nest. "Oh! Yoh!" she exclaimed as she took Yoh from me. I took a gulp of air—the first air that didn't smell like Yoh's liquor breath. "You're such a good girl!" his mother said, looking at me, "Yoh's lucky to have such a sweet girl like you!"

I gave her a crooked, forced smile, which pretty much made me look like I was in between having to go piss and laughing at a lame joke. She led Yoh inside and gave me one last smile as she closed the door. I turned with a blank face.

And so, this story of my life begins. Isn't it just beautiful?