Draco made his way back down to the Slytherin Common room. Severus appeared to have retreated to the dorm, and Draco paid Lestrange no mind as he quickly left his company and found Severus sitting on his bed.
"What's up?" Draco asked.
"You tell me," Severus replied.
Draco sat on the edge of his own bed. "Well, let's see. I've got two teachers who think I'm a mad poisoner, a headmaster who would like nothing better than to throw me out of here, and a dorm mate who wants me served up to Voldemort nice and rare. What else can I say?"
"Don't say that. There are plenty of people who like you..." Severus said quietly.
Draco laughed harshly. "Yeah, they like me alright. But they'd like me even better if I was dead." He ran his hand through his white-blonde hair and snorted, "Even Drucilla, thanks to my pre-occupation with life-and-death situations. Y'know Sev, once upon my own time, there was another kid (I'm not telling who) that used to be mixed up in shit like this. Voldemort, suffice to say, wanted him dead. He had lots of adventures. I used to be so jealous of him! He used to get all the attention. All the glory! Everything always worked out for him! I guess I'm just not cut out to be a hero..." Draco sighed.
Severus made a face. "What a dipshit you are, Draco Malfoy! You're a Slytherin, dammit! We're not heroes! We just want to survive. And because we're Slytherins, we do survive, even if other people don't particularly admire our tactics. Who gives a rat's ass? Let them all kiss my asp..." Severus said.
"Oh yeah? Go tell that to Dumbledore. He's mightily pissed with me right now."
"Why? Because you gave Colton a much needed laxative? Please! No matter how much the Gryffindor fools Potter and Black think they've covered every prank in the book, they still can't claim credit for one of the best ones in Hogwart's history," Severus sniffed, turning up his formidable nose.
"What does this have to do with Colton?" Draco argued.
"He's not the first person at this school to have been slipped a potion in his tea. A few years back, on Halloween night, the kids and staff here were treated to a certain potion that caused a very curious reaction. It seemed that when they had to retire to the toilet, they would discover, much to their astonishment, that their urine had turned purple. You should have heard the screams coming up and down the corridors..."
"Sev, are you kidding? Imagine standing there, starting to take a piss and..." Draco broke off, and smiled. "It's wicked. That's what it is, Sev. Wicked. I bet the first years were thinking they were dying or something..." Draco trailed off, chuckling at the thought of panicked first years thinking there was some sort of plague going around. "Was Dumbledore amused?"
"Oh hell yeah! He thought it was a grand joke, though the idea of everyone in the school being given a potion in their pumpkin juice, even if it was totally and completely harmless, seemed to unnerve even him."
"He never found out it was you, did he?" Draco grinned.
Severus' black eyes sparkled. "Of course not. Who would ever suspect sour-faced, nasty, depressing Severus Snape would pull a prank, especially one of that magnitude? He was grilling Black, Potter and his lot for two weeks before finally giving up on finding out the truth. That was the best part of it, you know..." Severus grinned. "Here they were being accused of something they not only didn't do, but would never know how to do it either, and thus, could never claim that they did do it. It was sweet, I tell you..." Severus' face fell then. "But, for some reason I just don't get, revenge's sweetness never seems to last very long. Have you ever noticed that?"
"Don't remind me," Draco said irritably as he scowled. "The idea of Colton shitting his brains out was really funny at first. Now, I'm the one who's in deep shit..."
"What are you going to do about it?" Severus asked.
Draco didn't answer at first. He eyed the package on his bed. And an idea began to formulate in his head. "I think that we can do something, Sev. But I'm going to need your help; I need someone I can trust. Can I trust you?" Draco asked.
"You're asking me? But, Malfoy, I'm a Slytherin! The epitome of untrustworthiness and villainy!" Severus gasped with exaggerated tones.
"Knock it off, Snape. Professor Snape," Draco emphasized.
"Eat shit and die, Malfoy," Severus sniffed.
"I need to trust you, Sev. No jokes now. I mean it. It really is now a matter of life and death."
"What is it?" Severus asked. Draco drew a deep breath, and began explaining about some of the things he'd been finding out in the past week. He unpacked his Invisibility Cloak. Severus gasped as Draco put it on. "I didn't think you could just order one out of the paper like that! You were really lucky to come upon it, Draco."
"Well, if you go along with my plan, you'll be the one wearing this a lot of the time," Draco explained.
"What about you?" Severus protested.
"I have another option that's not open to you. I have another means of disguise that you wouldn't be able to use. Sev, from what I've been able to gather, I'm an Animagus..." Draco revealed.
Severus' black eyebrows rose very high. "How can you be sure? Have you ever transformed?"
"I think I did, once, inadvertantly. The point is this. I have to learn how to transform into my animal form. Then, you can take the Invisibility Cloak, and I'll scurry down the hallways in my animal form..."
"Malfoy, what if your animal form is an elephant? You won't be doing too much scurrying around then, will you?" Severus pointed out.
"Don't worry, I think I know what my animal form is. It's quite small. Look just help me out with Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I'll worry about the learning how to transform into my animal form." Draco began to pace the room. He still wasn't sure that he should have told Severus about his possible ability. Not because he didn't trust him, but because Severus could sometimes be so stubborn if he saw a plan that wasn't planned the way he would have planned it.
Severus stared after Draco for a couple of long moments, then sighed. "Well, fine then. I'll teach you everything I've learned in Defense. But, don't come crying to me if you wind up running around with a tail coming out of your ass..."
All Sunday, Severus and Draco began going over the Defense Against the Dark Arts that he's learned. They used Professor Foxworth's classroom. Draco had always prided himself on being able to pick up on anything being taught to him, and of course, Severus was a natural teacher (thought he'd rather die than admit it), but it was still a great deal of territory to cover. Severus' knowledge on the subject was vast. It was little wonder that in Draco's own time, the rumors used to fly around about Professor Snape wanting the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher position. Thanks to Severus, Draco now had a few new counter-curses in his arsenal. These would have to do until next time.
After spending eight hours there, Severus had a quiet pensive look on his face, while Draco was bone-tired from dodging some of Severus' worst curses (and getting hit with quite a few of them, too). They were silent until they reached the Great Hall for dinner. Then, Draco ventured to say, "I bet I know what you're thinking."
"What could I possibly be thinking after using magic all day?" Severus complained.
"That you like being a teacher..." Draco answered softly.
This statement had the effect of turing Severus into something that resembled the bull that got stung in the nose by a bee. "I thought you were going to knock it off with that shit, Malfoy," he growled.
"Tut, tut, a lover's spat..." Lestrange said while shaking his head. "Really, you two ought to tone it down. I mean, eight hours later, and now you're arguing... How do you think this all looks to the rest of us?"
Severus was in a very dangerous mood, and Lestrange had picked the wrong time to incite him. "Get out of my sight before I turn you inside out, Lestrange!" he seethed. Lestrange took one look at Sev's face and backed away, visibly disturbed by the threat. Draco watched his retreat, and then noticed in the background, Sirius Black was eyeing him. And he didn't look much happier than Lestrange or Severus did. But, he nodded his head once. Meet me in the old classroom near the Restricted Section of the library at eleven-thirty.
Draco waited until Severus stalked off before subtly nodding his head once in agreement...
At eleven-twenty five that evening walking throught the darkened halls of Hogwarts, Draco wore his newly acquired invisibility cloak. He had taken a short nap before, so he wasn't terribly tired. He hoped that his lesson would prove as easy as wearing this cloak was. He didn't understand why he hadn't demanded that his father buy him one a long time ago. It would have made his life so much easier! He passed through the Restricted Section with ease, feeling a quick pang that he didn't have the time to grab one or two of the books on those forbidden shelves before he had to leave!
He found the abandoned classroom that Sirius had told him about. Just before entering, Draco took off his cloak and put it down beside the doorway, because he didn't want Black to know he had it. Inside, it was very dusty, and the light was barely existant. Sirius had created a sphere of glowing light that illuminated his face. He had his arms folded, and an unhappy look on his face.
Without preamble, Sirius said, "Before we begin, I would like to make one thing perfectly clear. The only reason I agreed to this harebrained idea of James was so that you would keep our mutual abilities a secret. For the record, I think you are a low-lying piece of shit to have to resort to blackmail to get your way, but since you're a Slytherin, you already know that."
"I'm glad that we're getting all this off our chests now, rather than later. For the record, I don't want to hear any more of your whining just because I've got you and your friends by your balls," Draco retorted.
"Watch it, Malfoy; I might wind up teaching you how to transform into a slug. Then, I'll step on you," Sirius snapped.
"Well now. That would be murder, wouldn't it? You really want to go to Azkaban that much, do you?" Draco drawled, his voice inflecting the knowledge of Sirius Black's imprisonment in the future. Sirius didn't appear to understand Draco's tone; he shrugged and then without further ado began the lesson.
After about two hours of trying to find his "inner animal," Draco thought he felt some sort of change, primarily around his nose. Sirius burst out laughing.
"What is it?" Draco squeaked. Gad, he even sounded like an animal!
"Sorry," he gasped. "It's just that if you had a little pigtail in the center of your head you'd look just like Cindy-Lou Who..."
"Damn," Draco spat. His nose suddenly felt normal again, and he heard a pop. It was a real struggle trying to keep his nose even like that, and he was nowhere near even resembling a ferret! Draco was frustrated; the experience was like trying to hold onto a snake covered with grease.
"I'm going to have to tell James that you started transforming; he'll be shocked. He and I didn't think you'd be changing for weeks." Draco's jaw dropped. "I guess that's why he had me try to teach you first."
"But it's so hard to keep the form! How am I ever going to hold onto the transformations I make long enough to complete it? and what about if I ever do? How long will I be able to hold myself in animal form?" Draco demanded.
Sirius answered, "It takes practice to hold the form; it takes a great deal of concentration at first. But you know who's good at hold his form a long time is Peter. We've tested him; he's been able to hold it for an entire weekend! It took him forever to make the change at first; you were a lot faster than Peter or James. Almost as fast as me. Is your father an animagus? Or you mother? I've heard it's hereditary, though neither of my parents can do it, and I don't think James' parents were. We'll never know, they've been dead for ages. Oh well, we'd better get back. You look like you might fall asleep on your way back to your Common room."
Draco didn't answer, because he ws indeed too tired to answer. He just nodded, and Sirius left, leaving Draco in pitch darkness. He felt his way out the door, nearly forgetting his Invisibility Cloak, and then stumbled his way back to Slytherin House.
Note: I remember my biology teacher telling me about a certain compound that, when put into a drink, would cause a person's urine to turn purple. It was a college prank, so he said, but I unfortunately can't recall what it was. Just so you know that Snape's prank is something that supposedly can be done, though I'd never actually tried it myself...