Titans Diaries
by The Diaries Guild with Original Concept by Shaun Garin and Co.
Teen Titans is owned by DC and the animated series by Kids WB.
====================
Chapter 2 : Adjusting?
====================
Animals were Ryan Griffin's life.
He had spent his childhood surrounded by small animals, visiting zoos and museums, and soaking up books upon books about animals. He had understood the theory of evolution before basic mathematics and could name the Latin names of many creatures before the names of his dormmates.
As such, waking up in the body of Gar Logan, a.k.a. Beast Boy, was every wish come true.
Unfortunately, with the ability to become any animal he wished at whim came with a drawback; Ryan thought about animals nearly every waking moment, so, while in Beast Boy's body, he was having difficulty on staying in his default human form, or even staying in one form at a time.
With sickening lurches, Ryan walked from the dining room to Gar's room, transforming first into a wildebeest, then an African secretary bird, then a capybara, then a civet, then a two-toed sloth, then a pronghorn antelope...
Geez, I hope the supports of this place could survive if I spontaneously turned into a hippo... Ryan then unwittingly found the answer, as upon thinking about turning into a hippopotamus, he did so. Fortunately, the answer to his question was "Yes."
Damn it! This is not good! What if I turned into a fish right here in the tower?! And to his chagrin, he then transformed into quite an unhappy rainbow trout that flopped about in search of fresh water before turning back into a gasping green human.
"By Darwin, this has to stop! I just need to slow down and think for a second. Now, I'm going to concentrate and walk from here to the end of the corridor and I'm going to do it without turning into an animal!"
Ryan stood up, took a deep breath, and began to walk to his room at the end of the corridor.
He got five steps in before turning into a jaguar.
Sighing inwardly, he resigned to at the very least concentrate on his favorite animal and walked down to the corridor. Luckily, he could enter the pressure-sensitive automatic door without the use of hands.
He shifted into a human as his mind was fixated on the mess in front of him. Ryan was a neat freak. Messes in his room at home had short lifespans, and the longest ones occurred during long periods of work and ended once there was some time free. Beast Boy was the exact opposite, as seen by the fact that the floor was strewn with clothes and the dressers were empty. Clean clothes were indistinguishable from dirty ones to all except probably Beast Boy himself. The CDs and DVDs were strewn about, Vegan food was present in various stages of decay, and a TV showed a paused videogame. The room smelled worse than most of the zoos Ryan had ever visited.
"Lovely," Ryan deadpanned, and then set about at the impossible task of cleaning the place up. About two hours later, Beast Boy was showered, the clothes were washed and put away, the games and CDs were sorted and alphabetized, the food was cleared, the floor was shampooed and vacuumed, and the signature "Beast Boy smell" had dissipated out the window thanks to the aid of fans and Lysol. Ryan stood back, admiring his work.
"Ah, the smell of victory... it smells a lot like soap..." Ryan chuckled, then sat in front of a mirror to try and sort out his powers.
"OK, time to try and focus..." Ryan started to clear his mind, then focused it.
"Wolf..." and with that, Ryan turned into the shaggy canine. He stayed that way for about a minute before concentrating on himself and turning back. "Good, now let's try this again. Hawk." Again he transformed, this time into a bird of prey, flew around the room a few times, and then transformed back.
"I think I'm getting the hang of this! OK, prairie dog," he turned briefly into the rodent and remained before changing back, "Gorilla," again, he transformed, remained that way, then changed back, "Great horned owl... leopard frog... boa constrictor... fire ant... Egyptian fruit bat... Komodo dragon... llama..." each time, he changed into the animal he chose and remained before he chose to transform back to human.
Ryan thought for a second. Beast Boy frequently changed into Tyrannosaurs and Triceratops in the cartoon. Ryan was well versed in extinct animal species, and had even considered paleontology as a possible career. He grinned as he imagined the possibilities, and began to concentrate on the scientific names he had known for years, animals he only knew from fossil remains.
"Smilodon fatalis..." He would have cried with joy if he were capable as he transformed into the saber-toothed cat. After prancing around, he changed back. "Megatherium..." He changed again, this time into an enormous ground sloth. He changed back, his smile so wide he thought his face might break, "Andrewsarchus..." He then became a huge, wolf-like hoofed carnivore. He opened wide his massive jaws and transformed back. He started to delve further back, "Coelophysis..." he became a 3-foot tall early dinosaur before turning back, "Archaeopteryx..." he turned into a feathered dinosaur believed to be the missing link between dinosaurs and birds before transforming back, "Corythosaurus..." this time, the room became much smaller as he transformed into the duck-billed dinosaur. He transformed back. He had a lot more extinct creatures swimming about in his mind, but he suppressed them out of fear of transforming into something huge.
"I can DO this! This is GREAT!" Ryan jumped in joy, but when he landed, his jumbled thoughts led him to be transformed into a twisted chimera-esque creature. His hind legs appeared to be those of a plant eating dinosaur, but his front legs were those of a cat. Stegosaurus like spines grew from his back, and a club like tail emerged from his back. Two sets of dragonfly wings sprung from his back and his hair was a lion's mane. The horns of a bighorn sheep came out of his head, and two walrus tusks came out of his mouth. His back was covered in armadillo armor with long, bright feathers sticking out of the armor plates. And to boot, his face was still that of Beast Boy.
"Ok... that's not regular...." He stood there dumbfounded for about five seconds. "... help?"
=================
Sitting down on the floor with a loud clank rather than the dull thump he was used to Canis once again mused on what had happened. Looking at 'his' arms, he noted that while they did look cool, he'd give almost anything to have real ones...even if they weren't his own. "Least then I wouldn't be breaking things left and right. Wait, I do that anyway. Nevermind."
Chuckling slightly to himself Canis looked around Cyborg's, no his room and saw various tools and things scattered around. "Perfect way to practice..."
Rolling back onto his back then rocking forwards to get enough momentum Canis rocked to his feet without using his hands. As he straightened up and got started on organizing the room some corner of his mind absently noted that he was quickly adjusting to his new body.
After rooting around the room and finding everything, dumping it into a pile in the middle of the floor then resorting and putting it away, Canis decided that enough was enough. He needed some music. Booting up Cyborg's computer and somehow managing to guess the password, "What kind of password is 'PinkRaven' anyway?" he stared in shock and disgust at Cyborg's pitiful music collection. "Country!? COUNTRY!? What the hell is wrong with this $%^#@^& bucket head!"
Deciding that it wasn't worth it to get worked up just yet Canis instead looked for a way onto the internet, then once he figured out how to get there he worked on navigating. After much frustration and threatening the computer finally loaded a hard rock/heavy-metal radio station and began playing. "Now to find out what this new body can do...I'm sure you kept some files and the like about yourself on here Cyborg now let's see just what I can find."
Canis spent the next several hours looking through various schematics of Cyborg's current body as well as some proposed but incomplete plans for upgrades. "Hmm...this gun upgrade looks promising...wonder if I can get it working..."
When Canis finally left the room several hours later he was sporting a grin that looked more at home upon the face of an evil psychopath like The Joker rather than the face of the super hero whose body he was currently inhabiting. Morphing his right arm into a gun barrel Canis's grin grew even wider before the light in his cybernetic eye went out and he fell forward to hit the ground with a loud, "CLANG!"
=================
The new Robin could not believe the situation he and his friends found themselves in. Sure waking up as the Boy Wonder had it's perks: full head of hair, healthy lungs, didn't need to wear glasses, and young enough that if he got the chance to play around with a cute teen-- it wouldn't be statutory rape. Not that he would've in his old life as, like Robin, he was far too lawful to break the law and he wouldn't want to hurt anyone-- especially through an act the was supposed to be out of love.
However, this wasn't the world of his birth. Hell, Robin wasn't sure this was all some whacked out dream, and he had his share of those in the past. There was a certain sense of unreality to the whole situation. That he could do as he pleased and it wouldn't come back to haunt him. Yet, this all certainly felt real as well and there was no telling how long this would all last.
First thing was first. Robin placed a sticky note by the computer reading, 'Robin, you might want to find out everything you can on Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke the Terminator.'
Then Robin set out to the task at hand: trying to find out what the hell happened and how much this world applied to cartoon reality or comic reality. Logging onto the computer was simple enough, it took a few tries, but 'Alfred' gave Robin general access to Robin's account.
Robin frowned at the updated news. Superheroes around the world were performing grandiose displays of powers, demonstrating their abilities in their civilian identity, and generally acting like Mary Sues at an orgy involving their favorite characters. He wondered if a certain Texas school teacher had also been switched and was making her way to meet Beast Boy.
There was one major problem with the arising situation: none of the reports included incidents with super-villain beyond accounts of super-heroes getting their asses kicked by them. So, if this was only a deal with the super-heroes, then the problem with the switch was in this world. But who would do this and why?
With the world situation looking bleak, Robin began searching other files on the computer to learn all he could about the Boy Wonder's weaponry and gadgets. In a team of super-heroes, he was the one without any super powers. He may be a jack-of-all trades in both lives, but the true Robin had mastered many of his trades while Archive had conquered none. If he was going to fight, he needed to exploit every advantage he could.
Robin found a set of files that were further password protected. Several tries of various names and places and he finally got it with 'acrobat,' the occupation Dick held with his family prior to him becoming an orphan. What he found was nothing like he expected to find from the straight-laced, no nonsense model boy scout of crime-fighting-- hidden camera footage of Starfire in the shower and on her bed playing... with nary a scrape of clothes in sight.
The door chimed and Robin quickly shut down the images he had been gawking at for some time. He then shifted nervously. "Um, come on in."
The door slide open and Starfire peeked in, "Archive, we just got some pizza delivered."
"Sure, um, Shaun!" Robin chirped. He then felt rather disgusted when his mind connected a guy to the images he had just seen. He really needed to think about something else, and food was a good way to go. They better have a pepperoni and mushroom pizza for him.
==================
Starfire walked back and forth in her room, looking around at the various things. Most of the drawers were untouched as an invasion of privacy was the last thing on her mind. But, she needed clothing, especially underwear.
"C'mon Shaun, you can do this," she muttered to herself. "It's not different from putting away your mom's clothing or doing the laundry."
Gritting her teeth, she marched over and pulled open the first drawer, steeling herself for whatever might be in there.
What she found, was several similar nightgowns and other assorted sleeping items, including a package of pads. Shaking herself out of the thoughts, Starfire opened the second drawer. More of her typical violet tops and bottoms were in here, amidst a few different articles of earth clothing.
The third drawer yielded several skirts and tops of the similar variety, and the fourth seemed to have a small collection of earth shorts and tops.
"What, no bras?" Starfire muttered to herself as she pulled out a pair of pink panties. "Cute. Aw well."
After dressing, Starfire looked at herself in the mirror and crossed her arms, feeling a bit vulnerable. "I still feel like I need more clothing."
Dressed in her top and skirt that canon Starfire was normally present in, she had also added a long sleeved shirt that she had tied together and rolled the sleeves up. Starfire did not own any socks, apparently liked to keep her feet bare in her long boots.
Picking up a brush, Starfire went to taming the long mane of hair she sported, eventually wrestling it into a state of submission. Lifting a lock of hair to her face, Starfire grinned and said, "At least it's a nice color."
Shaking the thoughts out of her head, Starfire sighed. "I guess I really am being something of a girl. Aw well. It's to be expected being a girl right at the moment."
Looking out the window, she frowned. "It's midday already? No one's cooked anything." Grinning, Starfire lifted off and flew down to the kitchen in the middle of the living room. "All right, time to get to work," she said, rubbing her hands together and removing her gloves.
Pulling open the fridge, she wrinkled her nose. "Eeew."
Most of the food was in a state of decay, including the fuzzy blue food that tried to reach out at her. Starfire's fist glowed and the food relented.
"Gross," remarked Starfire as she set to cleaning out the fridge and doing the dishes.
After a long hour, she wiped her forehead as she removed the apron that was splattered with water. "There we go, all dishes done and fridge cleaned out." Opening the fridge, she frowned. "Nothing. That was practically the remainder of the food."
Looking around, she found a note tacked to the board that read "Jump City Pizza" and underneath it was written a credit card number and a phone number. Shrugging, Starfire grabbed the cordless and tapped in the number.
After a few minutes and ordering five large pizzas, she hung up and wondered if the guy on the other end was flirting with her. It made her feel warm and somewhat grossed out at the same time. On one hand, she was getting attention from the opposite sex. On the other hand, it was the WRONG opposite sex.
Starfire grumbled, floated over to the couch and draped herself over the end. "This is a completely fwierd day."
******
"Azarath metrion sinthos...azarath metrion sinthos...azarath - aw, damnit!" Raven spat as another chair in her room melted.
Trying to get a handle on Raven's powers was proving to be more of a challenge than Iapetus had thought. Presently she was seated on Raven's bed, legs crossed in lotus position; after crashing three or four times while trying to levitate while meditating, Iapetus had figured sitting on a solid surface would be a better idea. So far she had succeeded in not only giving herself several black and blue marks, but melting two more pieces of Raven's furniture and slagging half of the closet door.
"Maybe I'll calm down if don't try to calm down," she reasoned as she got up off the bed. Raven decided to take a closer look at "her" bedroom. Since she didn't know how long she and the guys (and damn, was it weird to think of Starfire as a guy) would be stuck like this, she may as well get used to her new living arrangements.
Raven's - the real Raven - taste in decorating definately bordered on the Gothic, Iapetus decided. The room was incredibly dark, almost the complete opposite of Iapetus' own bedroom. It was also filled with some rather interesting statues and artifacts. "Did she pick these up on her own, or were these given to her?" Raven wondered aloud. Something on the dresser glinted in what little light there was in the room and, catching it out of the corner of her eye, Raven turned to see what it was.
"Oh, crap," she muttered when she got close enough to recognize the object. It was a hand mirror. More specifically, it was the hand mirror. The one that Beast Boy and Cyborg had used to enter Raven's mind.
Immediately Raven began thinking of all the complications that this presented. Would the mirror lead into her mind now, or would it lead into Raven's-mind-in-Iapetus'-body? Iapetus had never read the Teen Titans comics, but she did remember reading up on Raven and her father...Trigon. God, how would the switch affect that relationship? She could feel a nervous feeling building in the pit of her stomach, and tried to calm herself down before she melted anything else. A song popped into her head and Raven latched onto it for all she was worth.
Raven wasn't even aware that she had been humming the tune until there was a knock on her door. "Come," she called, hoping that her voice didn't sound as shaky as she felt. The door opened, revealing Robin. "What?"
"Shaun just ordered some pizza. You want some?" he asked.
Raven inhaled deeply, trying to get a handle on her emotions. "Yeah, sure. Be right there." Robin left, and she followed him out not too long afterwards, humming again.
It wasn't until she was halfway down the hall that Raven realized what song she was humming: Joni Mitchell's "A Bird That Whistles."
*******
It was morning in the bustling metropolis known creatively as Metropolis, home to the man of steel. With the strength to stop bullets and the speed to outrun trains, along with many other impressive powers, Superman was indeed one of America's greatest superheroes, if not one of the greatest in the world. With powers as great as his it was lucky he was also one of the most calm and honourable ones.
But there were always unscrupulous people trying their hardest to get their hands on his powers, however each attempt had failed in the end and everything ultimately returned to normal.
This morning heralded another of these 'attempts' of sorts. Clark Kent, the alter ego of Superman, woke up bright and early. Opening the windows and slipping on the pair of glasses resting on a table, he breathed in the fresh air. Suddenly he felt puzzled, something wasn't right.
Without realising it he felt the eye beams inside him flare up as it ripped through the lenses of his glasses and out through the wall. Puzzled, again, he removed the glasses and felt the frames oddly.
"Why the hell am I wearing glasses, I can't see through them." The voice sounded strained as it came out, and it was obvious that Clark seemed surprised at the voice. Something was seriously wrong.
Spinning round he found a mirror, with some difficulty, and stared at himself in it. Something between confusion and admiration passed across his face.
"Okay, so I'm not me? I know my shoulders weren't this broad last night. And I know my hair wasn't this colour. And I sincerely hope I didn't have an American accent when I went to sleep." With a dejected sigh 'Clark' sat down as he tried to comprehend what was happening. And that's when he saw something interesting in the closet.
Half in sight and half out of sight was what seemed to be a red cape. Further inspection discovered blue tights, red underwear and a blue top with a yellow-framed red 'S'. In an uncharacteristic expression a grin grew from ear to ear.
"Well, I can't think of anyone whose body I'd rather be inhabiting." With a grin he quickly slipped into the costume, although the tights were slightly irritating to wear as the gripped to his legs.
Looking at himself in the mirror he began to wonder how the real Superman could go through this, in his opinion it was rather embarrassing to wear this all the time. With a smile he added his own addition to the symbol on the chest, satisfied at last he burst out through the large open windows and into the streets.
Later that day people would gather and wonder why Superman was flying around Metropolis, and why he ended up colliding with a few buildings. Some would wonder why he seemed to be punching everything he found and trying out his eye beams. Some questioned his ignoring Grundy, one of his stronger enemies, in favour of having a good hotdog. But the biggest question was why 'Misc' was wrote underneath the large 'S' in black marker.
by The Diaries Guild with Original Concept by Shaun Garin and Co.
Teen Titans is owned by DC and the animated series by Kids WB.
====================
Chapter 2 : Adjusting?
====================
Animals were Ryan Griffin's life.
He had spent his childhood surrounded by small animals, visiting zoos and museums, and soaking up books upon books about animals. He had understood the theory of evolution before basic mathematics and could name the Latin names of many creatures before the names of his dormmates.
As such, waking up in the body of Gar Logan, a.k.a. Beast Boy, was every wish come true.
Unfortunately, with the ability to become any animal he wished at whim came with a drawback; Ryan thought about animals nearly every waking moment, so, while in Beast Boy's body, he was having difficulty on staying in his default human form, or even staying in one form at a time.
With sickening lurches, Ryan walked from the dining room to Gar's room, transforming first into a wildebeest, then an African secretary bird, then a capybara, then a civet, then a two-toed sloth, then a pronghorn antelope...
Geez, I hope the supports of this place could survive if I spontaneously turned into a hippo... Ryan then unwittingly found the answer, as upon thinking about turning into a hippopotamus, he did so. Fortunately, the answer to his question was "Yes."
Damn it! This is not good! What if I turned into a fish right here in the tower?! And to his chagrin, he then transformed into quite an unhappy rainbow trout that flopped about in search of fresh water before turning back into a gasping green human.
"By Darwin, this has to stop! I just need to slow down and think for a second. Now, I'm going to concentrate and walk from here to the end of the corridor and I'm going to do it without turning into an animal!"
Ryan stood up, took a deep breath, and began to walk to his room at the end of the corridor.
He got five steps in before turning into a jaguar.
Sighing inwardly, he resigned to at the very least concentrate on his favorite animal and walked down to the corridor. Luckily, he could enter the pressure-sensitive automatic door without the use of hands.
He shifted into a human as his mind was fixated on the mess in front of him. Ryan was a neat freak. Messes in his room at home had short lifespans, and the longest ones occurred during long periods of work and ended once there was some time free. Beast Boy was the exact opposite, as seen by the fact that the floor was strewn with clothes and the dressers were empty. Clean clothes were indistinguishable from dirty ones to all except probably Beast Boy himself. The CDs and DVDs were strewn about, Vegan food was present in various stages of decay, and a TV showed a paused videogame. The room smelled worse than most of the zoos Ryan had ever visited.
"Lovely," Ryan deadpanned, and then set about at the impossible task of cleaning the place up. About two hours later, Beast Boy was showered, the clothes were washed and put away, the games and CDs were sorted and alphabetized, the food was cleared, the floor was shampooed and vacuumed, and the signature "Beast Boy smell" had dissipated out the window thanks to the aid of fans and Lysol. Ryan stood back, admiring his work.
"Ah, the smell of victory... it smells a lot like soap..." Ryan chuckled, then sat in front of a mirror to try and sort out his powers.
"OK, time to try and focus..." Ryan started to clear his mind, then focused it.
"Wolf..." and with that, Ryan turned into the shaggy canine. He stayed that way for about a minute before concentrating on himself and turning back. "Good, now let's try this again. Hawk." Again he transformed, this time into a bird of prey, flew around the room a few times, and then transformed back.
"I think I'm getting the hang of this! OK, prairie dog," he turned briefly into the rodent and remained before changing back, "Gorilla," again, he transformed, remained that way, then changed back, "Great horned owl... leopard frog... boa constrictor... fire ant... Egyptian fruit bat... Komodo dragon... llama..." each time, he changed into the animal he chose and remained before he chose to transform back to human.
Ryan thought for a second. Beast Boy frequently changed into Tyrannosaurs and Triceratops in the cartoon. Ryan was well versed in extinct animal species, and had even considered paleontology as a possible career. He grinned as he imagined the possibilities, and began to concentrate on the scientific names he had known for years, animals he only knew from fossil remains.
"Smilodon fatalis..." He would have cried with joy if he were capable as he transformed into the saber-toothed cat. After prancing around, he changed back. "Megatherium..." He changed again, this time into an enormous ground sloth. He changed back, his smile so wide he thought his face might break, "Andrewsarchus..." He then became a huge, wolf-like hoofed carnivore. He opened wide his massive jaws and transformed back. He started to delve further back, "Coelophysis..." he became a 3-foot tall early dinosaur before turning back, "Archaeopteryx..." he turned into a feathered dinosaur believed to be the missing link between dinosaurs and birds before transforming back, "Corythosaurus..." this time, the room became much smaller as he transformed into the duck-billed dinosaur. He transformed back. He had a lot more extinct creatures swimming about in his mind, but he suppressed them out of fear of transforming into something huge.
"I can DO this! This is GREAT!" Ryan jumped in joy, but when he landed, his jumbled thoughts led him to be transformed into a twisted chimera-esque creature. His hind legs appeared to be those of a plant eating dinosaur, but his front legs were those of a cat. Stegosaurus like spines grew from his back, and a club like tail emerged from his back. Two sets of dragonfly wings sprung from his back and his hair was a lion's mane. The horns of a bighorn sheep came out of his head, and two walrus tusks came out of his mouth. His back was covered in armadillo armor with long, bright feathers sticking out of the armor plates. And to boot, his face was still that of Beast Boy.
"Ok... that's not regular...." He stood there dumbfounded for about five seconds. "... help?"
=================
Sitting down on the floor with a loud clank rather than the dull thump he was used to Canis once again mused on what had happened. Looking at 'his' arms, he noted that while they did look cool, he'd give almost anything to have real ones...even if they weren't his own. "Least then I wouldn't be breaking things left and right. Wait, I do that anyway. Nevermind."
Chuckling slightly to himself Canis looked around Cyborg's, no his room and saw various tools and things scattered around. "Perfect way to practice..."
Rolling back onto his back then rocking forwards to get enough momentum Canis rocked to his feet without using his hands. As he straightened up and got started on organizing the room some corner of his mind absently noted that he was quickly adjusting to his new body.
After rooting around the room and finding everything, dumping it into a pile in the middle of the floor then resorting and putting it away, Canis decided that enough was enough. He needed some music. Booting up Cyborg's computer and somehow managing to guess the password, "What kind of password is 'PinkRaven' anyway?" he stared in shock and disgust at Cyborg's pitiful music collection. "Country!? COUNTRY!? What the hell is wrong with this $%^#@^& bucket head!"
Deciding that it wasn't worth it to get worked up just yet Canis instead looked for a way onto the internet, then once he figured out how to get there he worked on navigating. After much frustration and threatening the computer finally loaded a hard rock/heavy-metal radio station and began playing. "Now to find out what this new body can do...I'm sure you kept some files and the like about yourself on here Cyborg now let's see just what I can find."
Canis spent the next several hours looking through various schematics of Cyborg's current body as well as some proposed but incomplete plans for upgrades. "Hmm...this gun upgrade looks promising...wonder if I can get it working..."
When Canis finally left the room several hours later he was sporting a grin that looked more at home upon the face of an evil psychopath like The Joker rather than the face of the super hero whose body he was currently inhabiting. Morphing his right arm into a gun barrel Canis's grin grew even wider before the light in his cybernetic eye went out and he fell forward to hit the ground with a loud, "CLANG!"
=================
The new Robin could not believe the situation he and his friends found themselves in. Sure waking up as the Boy Wonder had it's perks: full head of hair, healthy lungs, didn't need to wear glasses, and young enough that if he got the chance to play around with a cute teen-- it wouldn't be statutory rape. Not that he would've in his old life as, like Robin, he was far too lawful to break the law and he wouldn't want to hurt anyone-- especially through an act the was supposed to be out of love.
However, this wasn't the world of his birth. Hell, Robin wasn't sure this was all some whacked out dream, and he had his share of those in the past. There was a certain sense of unreality to the whole situation. That he could do as he pleased and it wouldn't come back to haunt him. Yet, this all certainly felt real as well and there was no telling how long this would all last.
First thing was first. Robin placed a sticky note by the computer reading, 'Robin, you might want to find out everything you can on Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke the Terminator.'
Then Robin set out to the task at hand: trying to find out what the hell happened and how much this world applied to cartoon reality or comic reality. Logging onto the computer was simple enough, it took a few tries, but 'Alfred' gave Robin general access to Robin's account.
Robin frowned at the updated news. Superheroes around the world were performing grandiose displays of powers, demonstrating their abilities in their civilian identity, and generally acting like Mary Sues at an orgy involving their favorite characters. He wondered if a certain Texas school teacher had also been switched and was making her way to meet Beast Boy.
There was one major problem with the arising situation: none of the reports included incidents with super-villain beyond accounts of super-heroes getting their asses kicked by them. So, if this was only a deal with the super-heroes, then the problem with the switch was in this world. But who would do this and why?
With the world situation looking bleak, Robin began searching other files on the computer to learn all he could about the Boy Wonder's weaponry and gadgets. In a team of super-heroes, he was the one without any super powers. He may be a jack-of-all trades in both lives, but the true Robin had mastered many of his trades while Archive had conquered none. If he was going to fight, he needed to exploit every advantage he could.
Robin found a set of files that were further password protected. Several tries of various names and places and he finally got it with 'acrobat,' the occupation Dick held with his family prior to him becoming an orphan. What he found was nothing like he expected to find from the straight-laced, no nonsense model boy scout of crime-fighting-- hidden camera footage of Starfire in the shower and on her bed playing... with nary a scrape of clothes in sight.
The door chimed and Robin quickly shut down the images he had been gawking at for some time. He then shifted nervously. "Um, come on in."
The door slide open and Starfire peeked in, "Archive, we just got some pizza delivered."
"Sure, um, Shaun!" Robin chirped. He then felt rather disgusted when his mind connected a guy to the images he had just seen. He really needed to think about something else, and food was a good way to go. They better have a pepperoni and mushroom pizza for him.
==================
Starfire walked back and forth in her room, looking around at the various things. Most of the drawers were untouched as an invasion of privacy was the last thing on her mind. But, she needed clothing, especially underwear.
"C'mon Shaun, you can do this," she muttered to herself. "It's not different from putting away your mom's clothing or doing the laundry."
Gritting her teeth, she marched over and pulled open the first drawer, steeling herself for whatever might be in there.
What she found, was several similar nightgowns and other assorted sleeping items, including a package of pads. Shaking herself out of the thoughts, Starfire opened the second drawer. More of her typical violet tops and bottoms were in here, amidst a few different articles of earth clothing.
The third drawer yielded several skirts and tops of the similar variety, and the fourth seemed to have a small collection of earth shorts and tops.
"What, no bras?" Starfire muttered to herself as she pulled out a pair of pink panties. "Cute. Aw well."
After dressing, Starfire looked at herself in the mirror and crossed her arms, feeling a bit vulnerable. "I still feel like I need more clothing."
Dressed in her top and skirt that canon Starfire was normally present in, she had also added a long sleeved shirt that she had tied together and rolled the sleeves up. Starfire did not own any socks, apparently liked to keep her feet bare in her long boots.
Picking up a brush, Starfire went to taming the long mane of hair she sported, eventually wrestling it into a state of submission. Lifting a lock of hair to her face, Starfire grinned and said, "At least it's a nice color."
Shaking the thoughts out of her head, Starfire sighed. "I guess I really am being something of a girl. Aw well. It's to be expected being a girl right at the moment."
Looking out the window, she frowned. "It's midday already? No one's cooked anything." Grinning, Starfire lifted off and flew down to the kitchen in the middle of the living room. "All right, time to get to work," she said, rubbing her hands together and removing her gloves.
Pulling open the fridge, she wrinkled her nose. "Eeew."
Most of the food was in a state of decay, including the fuzzy blue food that tried to reach out at her. Starfire's fist glowed and the food relented.
"Gross," remarked Starfire as she set to cleaning out the fridge and doing the dishes.
After a long hour, she wiped her forehead as she removed the apron that was splattered with water. "There we go, all dishes done and fridge cleaned out." Opening the fridge, she frowned. "Nothing. That was practically the remainder of the food."
Looking around, she found a note tacked to the board that read "Jump City Pizza" and underneath it was written a credit card number and a phone number. Shrugging, Starfire grabbed the cordless and tapped in the number.
After a few minutes and ordering five large pizzas, she hung up and wondered if the guy on the other end was flirting with her. It made her feel warm and somewhat grossed out at the same time. On one hand, she was getting attention from the opposite sex. On the other hand, it was the WRONG opposite sex.
Starfire grumbled, floated over to the couch and draped herself over the end. "This is a completely fwierd day."
******
"Azarath metrion sinthos...azarath metrion sinthos...azarath - aw, damnit!" Raven spat as another chair in her room melted.
Trying to get a handle on Raven's powers was proving to be more of a challenge than Iapetus had thought. Presently she was seated on Raven's bed, legs crossed in lotus position; after crashing three or four times while trying to levitate while meditating, Iapetus had figured sitting on a solid surface would be a better idea. So far she had succeeded in not only giving herself several black and blue marks, but melting two more pieces of Raven's furniture and slagging half of the closet door.
"Maybe I'll calm down if don't try to calm down," she reasoned as she got up off the bed. Raven decided to take a closer look at "her" bedroom. Since she didn't know how long she and the guys (and damn, was it weird to think of Starfire as a guy) would be stuck like this, she may as well get used to her new living arrangements.
Raven's - the real Raven - taste in decorating definately bordered on the Gothic, Iapetus decided. The room was incredibly dark, almost the complete opposite of Iapetus' own bedroom. It was also filled with some rather interesting statues and artifacts. "Did she pick these up on her own, or were these given to her?" Raven wondered aloud. Something on the dresser glinted in what little light there was in the room and, catching it out of the corner of her eye, Raven turned to see what it was.
"Oh, crap," she muttered when she got close enough to recognize the object. It was a hand mirror. More specifically, it was the hand mirror. The one that Beast Boy and Cyborg had used to enter Raven's mind.
Immediately Raven began thinking of all the complications that this presented. Would the mirror lead into her mind now, or would it lead into Raven's-mind-in-Iapetus'-body? Iapetus had never read the Teen Titans comics, but she did remember reading up on Raven and her father...Trigon. God, how would the switch affect that relationship? She could feel a nervous feeling building in the pit of her stomach, and tried to calm herself down before she melted anything else. A song popped into her head and Raven latched onto it for all she was worth.
Raven wasn't even aware that she had been humming the tune until there was a knock on her door. "Come," she called, hoping that her voice didn't sound as shaky as she felt. The door opened, revealing Robin. "What?"
"Shaun just ordered some pizza. You want some?" he asked.
Raven inhaled deeply, trying to get a handle on her emotions. "Yeah, sure. Be right there." Robin left, and she followed him out not too long afterwards, humming again.
It wasn't until she was halfway down the hall that Raven realized what song she was humming: Joni Mitchell's "A Bird That Whistles."
*******
It was morning in the bustling metropolis known creatively as Metropolis, home to the man of steel. With the strength to stop bullets and the speed to outrun trains, along with many other impressive powers, Superman was indeed one of America's greatest superheroes, if not one of the greatest in the world. With powers as great as his it was lucky he was also one of the most calm and honourable ones.
But there were always unscrupulous people trying their hardest to get their hands on his powers, however each attempt had failed in the end and everything ultimately returned to normal.
This morning heralded another of these 'attempts' of sorts. Clark Kent, the alter ego of Superman, woke up bright and early. Opening the windows and slipping on the pair of glasses resting on a table, he breathed in the fresh air. Suddenly he felt puzzled, something wasn't right.
Without realising it he felt the eye beams inside him flare up as it ripped through the lenses of his glasses and out through the wall. Puzzled, again, he removed the glasses and felt the frames oddly.
"Why the hell am I wearing glasses, I can't see through them." The voice sounded strained as it came out, and it was obvious that Clark seemed surprised at the voice. Something was seriously wrong.
Spinning round he found a mirror, with some difficulty, and stared at himself in it. Something between confusion and admiration passed across his face.
"Okay, so I'm not me? I know my shoulders weren't this broad last night. And I know my hair wasn't this colour. And I sincerely hope I didn't have an American accent when I went to sleep." With a dejected sigh 'Clark' sat down as he tried to comprehend what was happening. And that's when he saw something interesting in the closet.
Half in sight and half out of sight was what seemed to be a red cape. Further inspection discovered blue tights, red underwear and a blue top with a yellow-framed red 'S'. In an uncharacteristic expression a grin grew from ear to ear.
"Well, I can't think of anyone whose body I'd rather be inhabiting." With a grin he quickly slipped into the costume, although the tights were slightly irritating to wear as the gripped to his legs.
Looking at himself in the mirror he began to wonder how the real Superman could go through this, in his opinion it was rather embarrassing to wear this all the time. With a smile he added his own addition to the symbol on the chest, satisfied at last he burst out through the large open windows and into the streets.
Later that day people would gather and wonder why Superman was flying around Metropolis, and why he ended up colliding with a few buildings. Some would wonder why he seemed to be punching everything he found and trying out his eye beams. Some questioned his ignoring Grundy, one of his stronger enemies, in favour of having a good hotdog. But the biggest question was why 'Misc' was wrote underneath the large 'S' in black marker.