After Snape finished applying his Soul Glo, Snape stood up and went over to the fire place. Contrary to what many people believe, Snape did try to date. Snape contacted Bellatrix Lestrange.
"Severus?" asked Bellatrix.
"Hello, Bella. It has been awhile since we've seen eachother. Now that your husband's dead, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner tonight." said Snape. Bellatrix thought about it for a few moments, then she said yes.
Snape got dressed in his finest pea soup colored robes and he pulled out a special present for Bellatrix. It was a box of dehydrated cockroaches coated with an extremely sour flavoring. Snape put the box in his pocket and headed off to get to his date.
When Snape arrived at their meeting place, he greeted Bella with a smooth smile. Bellatrix smiled, liking what she saw. Snape pulled out the box of cockroaches. "Your favorites, Bella." he said. Bellatrix's eyes grew feverish and she snatched the box away. As she devoured roach after roach, they went for a moonlit walk.
"Bella, I've never had such a crush as I have had on you." said Snape. "Really?" said Bella, devouring the last roach. "Yes. You are an amazing, extraordinary and magnetic woman. You wow me, Bella. More now than ever." said Snape. He'd stopped walking. He put his hands on Bellatrix's upper arms and stood staring into her eyes. Snape had a look of longing his eyes. "I must kiss you!" he said. "Ok." said Bellatrix. Snape kissed her passionately. Snape felt that she was the woman of his dreams. She was a hero to him because she'd bumped off black, and he also found her very charismatic and beautiful.
Just then, Voldemort appeared.
"Severus." said Voldemort. Snape leapt away from Bellatrix. "My Lord! What are you doing here?" asked Snape, frightened. "I found out about Bella's date, and I followed her. I've been invisible." said Voldemort. "What do you want?" Snape asked.
Voldemort pulled out his wand. "What I want is to kill you. You have stolen my woman." said Voldemort. He aimed his wand at Snape's head. Snape shrieked in fear and jumped out of the way. He jumped over a fence into a graveyard. Voldemort jumped over the fence after him.
"Please, my Lord!" begged Snape, backing up with his hands up. "No. Now I will kill you for stealing Bellatrix." Voldemort sneered. "But she didn't tell me you two were dating!" Snape cried. "She shouldn't have needed to! You should have figured it out! She's too crazy to say something that lucid." said Voldemort. "Just tell me what I can do to make it up to you!" said Snape. "Forget it, Snape. I know you were a spy... there's no reason for me not to kill you!" said Voldemort. Snape burst into tears and ran like an idiot into a headstone. He fell down and then got back up and tried to run away again, Voldemort blasted the Avada Kadavera curse right at his head. It hit point blank! Snape stood perfectly still. Then Snape fell over, his nose landing first flat on the ground.
Satisfied, Voldemort turned away and led Bellatrix off down the sidewalk.
Snape slowly opened his eyes. He couldn't believe he was alive. Snape felt the place where the killing curse had struck his head, and he felt a stiff, warm section of matted hair. "The Soul Glo!" Snape thought. Years of using Soul Glo in his hair had created a shield against assault. Standing up and brushing himself off, Snape headed back to the school, feeling fine. As Snape walked off down the street, he heard the Soul Glo music begin to play.