Title: Shift by:
calcium_yeah
Part 2: That first part should actually just be called "Tuesday"; this is "Tuesday-Wednesday"
A/N: Okay, I guess the "R" rating is for language now. (one cursy cursy)
kellyerielf-as my one reviewer you have determined the direction of
this story. Well thought out I shall be!
___________________________________________________________________________
Angry. By Tuesday night, Ryan was nothing but angry. Seth was avoiding him. Yeah, it was
a big house, but come on. You don't just attach yourself to someone and get them used to
having you nearby and then disappear.
Seth had taken off on his skateboard almost immediately after their talk. Ryan tried to play
videogames, but he'd been purposely smashing his car into walls and had to start over about
eight times before giving up.
He felt like an idiot for trying to get Seth to open up. Because that assumed some type of
deep bond between them and how could that exist? They didn't even know each other.
As the hours passed, Ryan stewed in Seth's earlier comments about Ryan being sent to him,
or made for him or whatever. And Seth knew about his mom, and his brother and father and
everybody that he couldn't rely on. And he had to know how hard it was for Ryan just to talk.
But, he couldn't even tall him about some fucking scratches.
He decided he'd wait in Seth's room. Seth may not stop by the pool house, he may avoid the
den, but he'd plan on sleeping in his own bed tonight. So Ryan would wait- he sat on the bed.
After several minutes he realized he must look slightly psychotic perched on Seth's bed,
staring at the door like the boldest of stalkers. He swung his legs up on the bed and laid back
letting his eyes explore Seth's room from a new angle. He forgot his anger for a moment and
imagined himself in Seth's shoes, in his head, in his life.
He realized what he should have said yesterday.
"Wanna know something?" "What?" "I wish we knew more about each other."
Because he did. He wished they had 16 years of life together and he wished he didn't
suddenly feel like a stranger again. Ryan closed his eyes and imagined the different lives they
could have had here-or even in Chino. Then he stopped trying to rewrite the past because
what was the point? He instead tried to picture himself building a life here, who he would be
here. And it wasn't quite starting from scratch, but he had this whole new set of tools to work
with.
How long would it take before Seth could tell him about things he'd probably never told
anybody? Most likely as long as it would take for Ryan to start letting things out himself. But
in Seth's case it was maybe because Seth wasn't used to having someone to tell things to.
Ryan just had no intention of opening up. That didn't stop him from feeling Seth wanted to
tell him something.
*
Ryan had gotten so used to waking in new surroundings that the view of Seth's bedroom
didn't strike him as odd until he found Seth sitting in a chair, watching him with the blankest
of expressions on his face. His mouth was slightly pinched reminding Ryan that he really
wasn't supposed to be where he was.
But, wait, he had been angry-right, angry so he had to get that advantage back. He stated
simply, "If you want to pretend something's not there it helps not to leave it in the open
where everybody can see it."
Seth remained expressionless for a moment before standing up. He continued to look directly
at Ryan as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the general direction of the closet.
He sat back down, eyes still on Ryan, face still unreadable.
Seth had exposed the true lengths of his scratches -long and shallow, some dipping below his
waistband. They would probably never scar and as far as Ryan could tell there were fading
bruises all over. In a few days this. . . . evidence would most likely be gone. But, it was here
now-proof of something that he now wasn't sure he cared to know about.
"We can just leave it alone right now." Seth offered. And Ryan accepted. He pushed himself
from the bed and started for the door. Why? Because he was scared, but he didn't tell
himself that. He told himself that he was in no position to make things better for anybody
else. But, he wanted to be close to Seth and didn't want to seem like he didn't care so he
justified it.
"I'd never push you. Friends don't have to know everything about each other."
Seth let out a tiny smile, "Family. You're a Cohen now, remember?"
Ryan forced a slight smile of his own and nodded his way out the door.
*
He'd lied. To himself and Seth because he'd acted like knowing wasn't important. But
knowing was something he ached for. Knowing he'd still have a home in the morning.
Knowing if his friends wondered where he was. Knowing why he felt so protective towards
Seth. And knowing why he couldn't stop picturing those scratches and wondering how far
they went and how exactly they got there.
But it was after just not finding out things like that because the answer always turned out to
be something he didn't want to hear. What if Seth had been the one hurting someone? What
if it had been Anna and things just went wrong and Seth did something. . . . no, that couldn't
be it. What if he'd slept with Marissa? If he went over there to console her? Even if Ryan
didn't know what was going on with him & Marissa, that would still mean that Seth slept with
someone he thought Ryan liked. He would rather think Seth was getting beat up. But it could
be both. . . . what if it was somebody's mother? Or father? What if it was Sandy? Ryan felt
like throwing up. Okay, no more thinking. No more thinking.
So, as much as he wondered, Ryan had no intention of learning more about Seth than what
came naturally through their hopefully-still-growing-friendship.
With all that in mind, Ryan had absolutely not planned on Spying on Seth. Actually, he'd
come across him by accident early that morning.
He'd been enjoying himself, not thinking about anything just feeling the wind as he rode his
bike down the boardwalk, remembering Marissa on the back giggling his ear then Seth
actually squealing from that same position only a short while later. He smiled to himself and
was so absorbed he almost rode on without noticing the two boys. Almost.
A/N Once again, please act like you don't know who's on the beach.
Part 2: That first part should actually just be called "Tuesday"; this is "Tuesday-Wednesday"
A/N: Okay, I guess the "R" rating is for language now. (one cursy cursy)
kellyerielf-as my one reviewer you have determined the direction of
this story. Well thought out I shall be!
___________________________________________________________________________
Angry. By Tuesday night, Ryan was nothing but angry. Seth was avoiding him. Yeah, it was
a big house, but come on. You don't just attach yourself to someone and get them used to
having you nearby and then disappear.
Seth had taken off on his skateboard almost immediately after their talk. Ryan tried to play
videogames, but he'd been purposely smashing his car into walls and had to start over about
eight times before giving up.
He felt like an idiot for trying to get Seth to open up. Because that assumed some type of
deep bond between them and how could that exist? They didn't even know each other.
As the hours passed, Ryan stewed in Seth's earlier comments about Ryan being sent to him,
or made for him or whatever. And Seth knew about his mom, and his brother and father and
everybody that he couldn't rely on. And he had to know how hard it was for Ryan just to talk.
But, he couldn't even tall him about some fucking scratches.
He decided he'd wait in Seth's room. Seth may not stop by the pool house, he may avoid the
den, but he'd plan on sleeping in his own bed tonight. So Ryan would wait- he sat on the bed.
After several minutes he realized he must look slightly psychotic perched on Seth's bed,
staring at the door like the boldest of stalkers. He swung his legs up on the bed and laid back
letting his eyes explore Seth's room from a new angle. He forgot his anger for a moment and
imagined himself in Seth's shoes, in his head, in his life.
He realized what he should have said yesterday.
"Wanna know something?" "What?" "I wish we knew more about each other."
Because he did. He wished they had 16 years of life together and he wished he didn't
suddenly feel like a stranger again. Ryan closed his eyes and imagined the different lives they
could have had here-or even in Chino. Then he stopped trying to rewrite the past because
what was the point? He instead tried to picture himself building a life here, who he would be
here. And it wasn't quite starting from scratch, but he had this whole new set of tools to work
with.
How long would it take before Seth could tell him about things he'd probably never told
anybody? Most likely as long as it would take for Ryan to start letting things out himself. But
in Seth's case it was maybe because Seth wasn't used to having someone to tell things to.
Ryan just had no intention of opening up. That didn't stop him from feeling Seth wanted to
tell him something.
*
Ryan had gotten so used to waking in new surroundings that the view of Seth's bedroom
didn't strike him as odd until he found Seth sitting in a chair, watching him with the blankest
of expressions on his face. His mouth was slightly pinched reminding Ryan that he really
wasn't supposed to be where he was.
But, wait, he had been angry-right, angry so he had to get that advantage back. He stated
simply, "If you want to pretend something's not there it helps not to leave it in the open
where everybody can see it."
Seth remained expressionless for a moment before standing up. He continued to look directly
at Ryan as he pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the general direction of the closet.
He sat back down, eyes still on Ryan, face still unreadable.
Seth had exposed the true lengths of his scratches -long and shallow, some dipping below his
waistband. They would probably never scar and as far as Ryan could tell there were fading
bruises all over. In a few days this. . . . evidence would most likely be gone. But, it was here
now-proof of something that he now wasn't sure he cared to know about.
"We can just leave it alone right now." Seth offered. And Ryan accepted. He pushed himself
from the bed and started for the door. Why? Because he was scared, but he didn't tell
himself that. He told himself that he was in no position to make things better for anybody
else. But, he wanted to be close to Seth and didn't want to seem like he didn't care so he
justified it.
"I'd never push you. Friends don't have to know everything about each other."
Seth let out a tiny smile, "Family. You're a Cohen now, remember?"
Ryan forced a slight smile of his own and nodded his way out the door.
*
He'd lied. To himself and Seth because he'd acted like knowing wasn't important. But
knowing was something he ached for. Knowing he'd still have a home in the morning.
Knowing if his friends wondered where he was. Knowing why he felt so protective towards
Seth. And knowing why he couldn't stop picturing those scratches and wondering how far
they went and how exactly they got there.
But it was after just not finding out things like that because the answer always turned out to
be something he didn't want to hear. What if Seth had been the one hurting someone? What
if it had been Anna and things just went wrong and Seth did something. . . . no, that couldn't
be it. What if he'd slept with Marissa? If he went over there to console her? Even if Ryan
didn't know what was going on with him & Marissa, that would still mean that Seth slept with
someone he thought Ryan liked. He would rather think Seth was getting beat up. But it could
be both. . . . what if it was somebody's mother? Or father? What if it was Sandy? Ryan felt
like throwing up. Okay, no more thinking. No more thinking.
So, as much as he wondered, Ryan had no intention of learning more about Seth than what
came naturally through their hopefully-still-growing-friendship.
With all that in mind, Ryan had absolutely not planned on Spying on Seth. Actually, he'd
come across him by accident early that morning.
He'd been enjoying himself, not thinking about anything just feeling the wind as he rode his
bike down the boardwalk, remembering Marissa on the back giggling his ear then Seth
actually squealing from that same position only a short while later. He smiled to himself and
was so absorbed he almost rode on without noticing the two boys. Almost.
A/N Once again, please act like you don't know who's on the beach.