Chapter Seven

Now it was day two on the 'No Show Buffy' count and everyone was exhausted from looking for her and fighting vamps all night. Giles had a few scratches on his arm from being pushed into a tree and Xander had a lump on his head from when it made contact with a stone wall. Willow and Tara were just a little dirty and their hair was unkempt. Anya was sleeping on the dining room table because at the time she was so tired she thought it was a bed.

"We've been looking for twenty-four hours now," Xander informed everyone, barley having enough energy to look at the wrist that held his watch.

"Thanks Count," Willow said sarcastically.

"Huh?"

"You know, the puppet vamp from Sesame Street." Willow reminded him.

"Oh yea. Ya know, I liked vampires more when I thought they were all squishy and… well, only counted things."

"It definitely ruined what we know now. They like to eat people and… I guess they count. They have to count, right? 'Hey there's two girls going down that alley' or 'there goes those three meany vampires from last Tuesday.'"

"As riveting as this conversation is I think we should continue looking for Buffy," Giles suggested as he cleaned his glasses for the fiftieth time.

"Where?" Tara asked, trying to be helpful. Everyone looked at her as if it was an absurd question but it was perfectly legitimate. They have looked everywhere. Unless she shrunk and was finding solace in a hole in the sewer, they should've found her by now.

Xander decided to get up during the moment of silence and woke up his girlfriend. "Anya?.. Ahn?" He gave her a little shake. Anya stretched out and accidentally backhanded his nose. "OW!"

Anya shot up and looked around. She noticed she was lying on the table and asked, "Oh my God, did someone try to eat me?"

"No Ahn, you just fell asleep on the table."

"Why was I sleeping on the table?" she asked.

"Because you were tired and pretty convinced that was a bed last night." Xander held his arms out and gestured for her to slide over to him so he could help her. Anya gave him a weird look and slid off the other side. "Or don't allow me to brood, that's fine."

"What time is it?" she asked.

Xander looked at his watch. "It's 11:34."

"In the morning!" Anya exclaimed.

"No at night but the sun missed the memo."

"I have to open the store." Anya went to hustle out the door and she saw Giles sitting on the couch. "Giles. What are you doing here? Why aren't you worrying about the Magic Box."

"Because it's a store Anya. It can't get picked up and moved somewhere except under mystical circumstances."

"Where do you think we're living? Normal Town where everyone's normal and demons don't' come out to kill people and we don't have two lesbian witches sitting three inches from you?"

"Hey, I think the fact that we're lesbians isn't in any way important to your little scenario there. Not that I have a problem being a lesbian." Willow grabbed Tara's hand for reassurance.

"Anya, my slayer is missing and I for one would rather spend the rest of my life searching for her than receiving bundles of cash every second of the day," Giles said, trying to put it in Anya terms.

"You can do that? Get bundles of cash every second?"

Everyone took a deep breath. Xander held his hand up to signal to them that he would try to put in her terms better. "Anya, if we don't get Buffy back then we'll have to slay vampires for her. If we slay vampires for her, and you know we're not exactly pros or even mediocre amateurs, we may die and all the money in the world couldn't bring you back. If you want to go open the Magic Box and risk death on a much higher schedule, then go. If you want to look for Buffy and keep death at a close but now accustomed distance then help us."

Anya looked at everyone and then at Xander. "Can it just be open for the One o'clock rush?"

"Anya!" everyone yelled.

"Okay, okay, I'll help," Anya gave in.

Xander put his arm around her waist and smiled at everyone. "Most considerate person I ever met. How about you?"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

Iniquity's hair and cape were blowing in the wind. Her pale green eyes were fixed on the crystal ball. This Slayer is extremely resourceful. I wonder what she has that the others didn't. Maybe- Iniquity rolled her eyes when she heard Pernicus yapping his trap. She went back to her thoughts and tried keeping her ears closed off to the annoying back noise.

"Come here little froggie," Pernicus said with a big rock held in his hand. The frog just looked at him with his froggie face and remained silent. "Come here froggie!" The frog stared him a few more seconds and jumped away from Pernicus. "Damn it!" Pernicus let out a scream as he threw the rock towards it, trying to squish its' little body. He missed it by… very much. "Hey Iniquity. You ever think about death?"

"I think about yours all the time," she said to herself.

"Some days I wake up and think 'Wow, today may be my last day alive. I should enjoy every moment and not take things for granted.' But then I forget about all that stuff and continue with any normal day. But now I'm thinking about and this may be the last time I get to go to sleep. Well, and have the option of waking up."

"I'm not that lucky," Iniquity said aloud.

"Like, right there, that would've been the frog's last day. But because he was favored by luck, he's still alive."

"He was favored by your lack of muscle and aim. Now stop talking!"

"Why do you keep looking in that crystal ball? It's not like magically she's gonna-"

"Pernicus." He stopped talking and gave her his full attention. Well, half attention, because he never pays full attention. Not even when he's threatened. "Do you remember when I told you that I will kill you in such a way that not even the strongest magic will be able to bring you back? And please, just nod." Pernicus nodded. "Well that wasn't an empty threat. Now shut UP!" Pernicus pursed his lips and made a motion that he was zipping it shout and locking it.

Buffy carefully led them down the misty path. She was ready for anything this Grimm Reaper tale had to throw at her. She was careful not to seem too concerned because then the others would get suspicious. Amy screamed out in fear, turning everyone's head. Spike whispered "bugger!" to himself.
"What's wrong now Drazelle?" Cordelia asked.
"Something was holding my dress!"
"Don't be so foolish. You probably just caught it on a nail," Anya rationed.
They continued down the path, Amy very skittish in the back. Spike tried watching where he was going but his feet were invisible to him too. Buffy finally made it down to a beautiful line of trees with silver, glittery leaves. Spike's blanket caught on a branch and he tried to quietly tug it free. Amy looked behind her and saw a branch moving furiously. "Get off ya bloody wanker!" he whispered to the blanket.
"Look!" Amy yelled. Everyone turned their heads. Spike ceased his movement. "That branch was just shaking everywhere!"
"Amy, you've been on edge the past two nights and I have to say I'm quite sick of it. If you want to turn around and go back, then go. Otherwise, button your lip for the rest of the walk and we won't tell your prince that you're insane," Cordelia told her.
"Marie!" Anya yelled at Cordelia. "Don't be so harsh."
"You have to admit that this fiasco she's been creating the past two nights is a little worn out now."
"I didn't say it wasn't, there's just a better way to handle it."
"Fine. Handle it."
Spike yanked the blanket free and the shaking caught Cordelia's eye. "What was that?" she asked calmly.
"Seriously," Buffy intervened. "Would you all stop freaking out about a few shaking branches and stepped on dresses. What do you think someone's wearing an invisible blanket and following us? That's just ridiculous." They all looked at Buffy in confusion. "Exactly, so stop worrying about what's behind us and let's go to this dance."
As they progressed through the fog they made it past trees with gold leaves and then trees with diamond leaves. "Was this decorated by Kay Jewelers?" Buffy asked herself. She quickly stopped when she noticed a lake.
There were twelve small boats resting in a tier. On each boat was a handsome prince, waiting to take a single princess with them. Buffy went out on a limb and picked the first boat to board. He accepted her with a smile on his face and helped her in the boat. One after the other the princesses boarded a boat. When Amy got on hers Spike slipped on as well. The prince kept himself stabilized and safely seated Amy. He picked up his stick and pushed them off. It had been hard to maneuver his boat the past two nights and he didn't see any sign of extra weight on his princess.
At the other end of the lake was an extravagant, lighted castle, which expelled the noise of a string quartet. The boats docked and the princes helped the princess out of their boats. Once their feet touched the paved ground they were danced away. They continued dancing for the next couple hours. Buffy managed to slip away and stood in a corner by a punch bowl.
Spike meandered towards her. Buffy's Slayer senses went off, she knew he was nearby. "Hey Spike," she casually greeted with the silver cup's rim to her mouth. "Way to be incognito. Stepping on a dress, not so stealth boarding of a boat, and let's mention the drinking of everyone's beverages before they get a sip."
"Their faces are priceless," Spike said with a chuckle. Spike looked over at Buffy's smile. He could tell that it was only for show. Deep down she was feeling… something not so smiley. "What is it Slayer?"

Buffy just watched everyone dancing around in circles. Everyone was so jovial and excited. They had no idea that Buffy wasn't who they thought she was. To them she was Hazel; the oldest, prettiest and smartest. To them she was everything they wanted to be and they loved her. They didn't know that she went out every night and slayed vampires and demons. They didn't know her best friend was a powerful, lesbian wicca or a humorous, carpenter who tried to help her as much as he could or a stuffy old librarian who was the closest she had to a father figure in six years.

"Buffy? What's wrong pet?"

The more she thought, the more her brow furrowed. She came back to the present, or past, or whatever the heck it was in time. She watched closely for any signs of changing. Will the princes become vampires? Will werewolves pop out of the bushes?

"Buffy?"

"What?" she hastily whispered back.

"What're ya thinkin' pet?"

"I'm trying to figure how this story is going to go all wonky. Maybe a troll is going to jump out from under that bridge. A big troll with huge arms and greasy hair and grunts like a cartoon caveman. Or maybe a huge swamp monster's gonna pop out of the lake and eat us up with one gulp. I don't know."

"Guess it's just another day at the office, huh pet?"

Buffy looked over at the empty space where she thought Spike was. "Can you hold a glass or something so I can kinda see you?"

"How're ya gonna explain that? Plus you're pretty much lookin' at me now."

"Maybe we should just go and get out of here before something happens," Buffy suggested. She did another browse of the perimeter, still seeing no signs of lurking creatures.

"And you'll do that how?"

"I can pretend to faint. They think I'm sick so if I faint then they'll be all 'Oh, no Hazel. We must get her home at once.'"

"Or they might say 'Oh Hazel. I never liked her anyway. Just kick her in the bushes so she doesn't take up the dance floor,'" Spike said in a pathetic girl voice.

"Your highness," her prince said with a bow. He rose and asked, "would you like to continue dancing?"

"Actually," she intervened, "I would like to return home. See I'm not feeling well and if we do any more spinning you may end up with my dinner all over your neatly pressed clothes."

"So you wish to go home?"

"Yes please."

"You want to leave?" Cordelia asked, shocked at what she overheard.

"Yes. Remember how I wasn't feeling good? Well now it's going in overdrive and I would like to go home."

The music and dancing stopped. Everyone looked at her like she was an outcast. "Why must we leave?" Amy asked.

"You guys were talking about how you wouldn't come if I didn't want to. Well now I want to go back."

"Why?" the Anya look alike asked.

"Because… I'm older then you and you have to do what I say."

"No we don't."

"Since when, that's always been the rules."

"Mention that you can knock her unconscious with one punch," Spike whispered to her.

"Don't help me," she angrily, whispered back.

The discussion was disrupted by a loud bubbling noise. Everyone looked around in confusion and rested their eyes on the lake. Huge bubbles were forming and becoming bigger as if something was surfacing. Suddenly, a scaly, bright green head busted out of the water and turned to face them. The strange creature had brownish yellow eyes.

"What is that?" Spike asked Buffy.

"Option B."

Author's note: Hey everyone, sorry it took so long for me to get another chapter up but I just got back from LA and I had no time to write any. So, I hope you like it, I tried to make it extra funny. It may not be extra funny but I hope it's at least funny. Thank you everyone for your patience. You guys rock! By the way, the 'option B' thing refers to the fact that Buffy suggested the swamp monster after the troll. Troll is option A, swamp monster's option B. Get it?