Guardian Roommates: Chapter 9: Beginning of the End
Capcom owns everyone. I just got the idea for the story.
Muy thanks for the support again! Now that I've played MMZ4, I may make things lean into some kind of prelude, since this does take place after MMZ3. Maybe, maybe not. Nine chapters already. Dang.
It's late in the month and all three are bored to death. Harpuia got stuck with trying to do the taxes, since Leviathan's not good at math, and when Fefnir tried to fill them out, they somehow ordered a tank. Leviathan's got a restraining order by Zero after she snuck into the resistance base and put purple knockout gas throughout the base, kidnapping Zero and chaining him to the wall, only to find out it was the remains of Omega that the resistance took for testing. Zero had actually snuck out to camp right outside that night, but was too lazy to do anything about it. Lastly, Fefnir can't find the remote and there's nothing good on TV. We join the trio in the living room.
"I can't believe we've been here for four months already." Leviathan yawned as she sucked down some root beer.
Harpuia was snoring loudly under his blanket. "Life's been dull since we were kicked out of the capital. What, do you want to move in with Zero? Don't answer that."
Not paying attention to Harpuia, Leviathan was about to, but noticed the tracking device on her leg, reminding her that she had a restraining order anyway, for a few more days. "Well, you didn't have to put it that way, but is this how we're going to spend the rest of our lives?"
Fefnir lifted Harpuia and the couch up with one hand, looking for the remote, and then dropped everything with no regard to his brother. "We were lucky to get this apartment. Remember all the excuses we got when we tried elsewhere?"
Leviathan sighed. "I'm sorry, but your type is not accepted here."
Harpuia turned his head on his pillow. "We have gotten complaints about you three."
Fefnir rolled his eyes. "The new ruler of Neo Arcadia doesn't want you to live 20 miles near the capital."
All three had slouched. "This sucks."
Just on cue, the doorbell rang. Fefnir decided to get the door, only to be surprised.
"Zero?"
"Fear my wrath, Neo Arca-"
Before 'Zero' could finish, Fefnir held him by the neck. "I've been waiting far too long for this moment! Zero, this time your ass is mine!" His eyes widened as the red reploid in front of him started crying, shook free of his grip and ran off. He looked behind him, but Leviathan and Harpuia weren't paying attention. He just shrugged and went back inside.
The doorbell rang again five minutes later, and Leviathan decided to get it since Fefnir was fighting a boss on his game, and Harpuia was too lazy to even acknowledge the doorbell.
"Zero?"
"Um, what was I supposed to say again? Oh yeah, I'm going to take you on!"
Levi instantly pulled out her scythe with stars in her eyes. "You came to fight me? That's so sweet! Now die." Again, she was surprised when 'Zero' cried and ran off. She looked behind to see if Harpuia and Fefnir noticed anything, but they didn't. She just shrugged and closed the door.
About ten minutes later, the doorbell rang again. This time, Fefnir had his game off and Leviathan was brushing her teeth, in other words they both weren't occupied enough not to notice it, so they both raced towards the door. Noticing each other's intentions, they decided to open it at the same time.
"Phantom?"
Whoever this Phantom was, he began speaking Japanese. Really bad japanese. Instantly, he cried for his life.
"Phantom! You're alive! Again!" Leviathan cried, squeezing the breath out of him.
"Phantom! Buddy! How ya doin?" Fefnir cried, happy as ever, giving him a noogie.
Again, the person at the door started crying and ran away.
Fefnir was more confused than usual, which is saying a lot. "What gives?"
Leviathan sighed. "First it's Zero, and now Phantom. Has everybody lost it?"
Noticing each other's words, they slowly turned their heads to the one sleeping on the couch. Still asleep, snoring.
Leviathan looked back at Fefnir. "He doesn't count."
This had gone on all night. Leviathan and Fefnir took turns opening the door to someone they knew, only to scare them away. Zero, Ciel, Phantom, Elpizo, Weil, Copy X, Cerveau, themselves, their armies, and just about everyone except Harpuia.
At this point, both were so confused that Fefnir tried to walk on the walls, falling on his back, and Leviathan started eating slices of cheese, counting each one.
"76..."
"Ow."
"77..."
"Ow."
"78..."
"Ow."
"79..."
Steam started to come out of the ears of the only reploid in the room who hadn't lost it. "Will you two shut up?"
Unfortunately, neither were listening.
"80..."
"Ow."
"81..."
"Ow."
Harpuia sighed, and when the next doorbell went off, he noticed the other two had crumpled into a corner with scared looks on their faces. Harp just rolled his eyes. "Um, did you forget it was Halloween AGAIN?" He threw the newspaper at them, and they looked at the date. October 31.
He opened the door, and just as before, his eyes widened. "Now this is just too much..."
In front of Harpuia stood another Harpuia, but there were a lot of noticable differences. First, this Harpuia had a bigger chest, a curvy figure, makeup and lipstick. Everything looked like it was forced and exaggerated intentionally. "Trick or treat!"
Harpuia sweatdropped, recognizing the voice. "Zero, I am going to kill you."
Zero had pulled off his Harpuia mask. "Oh man, why did you have to answer the door? You're the only one that remembers when it's Hallowe-" He stopped, noticing that Harpuia was fuming.
A girl's voice could be heard outside. "Zero-chan! Come on! I want to get as much candy as possible! Candy candy candy!"
Ciel had actually saved Zero, who was slowly trying to make his escape. "Heh... uh, gotta go!"
Sage wouldn't give Zero the satisfaction, charging at him before he could move. Good thing Zero has some good reflexes, crouching so Harpuia would charge straight off the balcony. He let out a relieved sigh as his plan worked, only for a finger to poke his shoulder.
"Um, Zero, you forgot I can fly." Harpuia said, weapons in hand. Unfortunately for Zero, he forgot to arm himself tonight.
Fefnir and Leviathan sighed as they gained back their sanity, while Harpuia was chasing Zero back and forth outside, blasting lightning bolts everywhere.
"Zero! This is getting old!"
"No candy for you, Harpuia!" Zero cried.
Leviathan's eyes lit up. "Oh! I know what's on TV!" She rushed to grab the remote and turned on the TV.
"We now return to a Robot Master Halloween."
Both Leviathan and Fefnir cheered, Zero still screaming for his life as Harpuia had created a thunderstorm. Suddenly, Harpuia came crashing into the room.
Ciel, dressed up as Dracula, stood in the doorway with a taser in each of her hands. "No stealing candy, Harpuia! That's not very nice!" She then brought a cooler in the room and dumped all the ice on Harpuia, who screamed for breath afterwards. Both Levi and Fef were too busy watching their favorite halloween special.
Next morning, Levi and Fef woke up cold, noticing their blankets were gone. They both heard the TV in the living room, and sure enough, Harpuia wrapped himself up like an eskimo.
Fefnir had to start things out. "What are you doing?"
Harpuia sneezed, blowing his nose on some Kleenex, and giving it to Fefnir. "Stupid Ciel gave me a cold. I told you it was a good thing we never joined them. -ACHOO-"
Leviathan laughed. "Harpuia actually got schooled by a girl?" After that she let out a malicious laugh.
Fefnir eyed her. "Um, you never laugh at me when the same thing happens."
Leviathan glared at him. "Because it's always me doing it!"
Harpuia then sneezed on both of them, both of them freaking out. "My bad. My brain was, uh, sleeping." He certainly wasn't sincere in his tone.
Three hours later, all three were wrapped in blankets, fighting over the Kleenex, and whoever had to go out and get the E-Crystals to cure each of them. They were all too lazy and sick.
Leviathan coughed. "Harpuia, why are you so mean?"
Harpuia sneezed. "Because I'm stuck in a lowlife apartment and can never get any peace and quiet. Like now."
Fefnir stole the tissues from Levi, "Yeah, life is less exciting, but look on the bright side..."
Levi and Sage waited a good twenty seconds.
"Aw hell, I got nothing. Life was good at Neo Arcadia until that Weil bastard came in. Got free food, good food at that, and I was the most feared general out of all of us!" Fefnir finished.
Levi glared at him. "Are you kidding? I was!"
Fefnir retaliated. "No, it was me!"
Harpuia lowered his head as the two argued over and over. "Life is hell. Doesn't sound like much until you experience it." he sighed. Suddenly, an ad appeared on TV with a female voice.
"Are you a reploid with the common cold?" the voice asked.
"Yes." all three said in unison.
"Then I have just the thing for you! Featuring new Ciel System Cough Drops!"
All three hung their heads. "Ciel!"
Before the ad could continue, Sage turned off the TV, remembering it was her who gave him the cold to begin with. "Well, so much for that."
Much to his dismay, he found the others arguing again. He sighed and got up, almost too quickly that he got dizzy, and headed towards the door. "I'll get the crystals. Be back soon. Maybe. Well, I'll be back. Maybe."
A half hour later, Harpuia came back feeling and looking perfect. To his surprise, so were Fef and Levi.
Levi turned towards him, holding a can of root beer. "Hey Harpie, how did things go? Oh, we found the Cold E-Crystals in the medicine cabinet. Funny how we never looked there, huh?"
Harpuia shook his head as his little sister let out a huge belch. "By the way, Zero said hi."
She blinked a few times before turning around. "He... did?"
Harpuia started walking to his room. "No."
Levi steamed. "Harpie! That's not funny!" She then noticed he wasn't even paying attention to her. Suddenly, a piece of paper hit her head.
Harpuia came back into the room, slouching in his beanbag. "Found that on the door."
The apartment shook.
"Evicted? Why?" shouted Levi.
Sage crossed his arms behind his head. "Because some other people didn't pay rent in the last two months, like it says on there." He glared at both Levi and Fef, Levi with a sheepish grin. He continued, "We've got two days."
Fefnir overheard and almost started freaking out. "Holy crap on a pogo stick, you guys! Where are we going to live? I know, we'll live in the caves as the primitive cavemen! We can life live without the technology that plagues us!"
Leviathan managed to throw a frying pan at him, interrupting him. "Um, Fefnir, we are technology. Hello?"
Fefnir wore the pan as a hat. "We can live under the sea! We'll live life in the jungle, and I'll be known as 'Fefnir of the Apes!'"
Harpuia barely leaned his head upward. "That's no different from what you're known as now." He then laid it back down.
Fefnir still was full of ideas. "We'll travel the seven seas as Vikings! Or no, better, we'll travel around the world, from London to LA, it's Fefnir Go fefnir here's Fefnir-"
Leviathan threw another frying pan at him. "Fefnir, brother dear, remember that you're not allowed to sing or rap? Court order, moron."
A frustrated Harpuia crossed his legs. "Bah, let them kick us out. We haven't been much good since we got retired. It was all about being X-sama's proud servants and ridding the world of extremists. Now look at us, we're stuck in a lame apartment with no job driving each other crazy. And now we're evicted from a place that was near impossible to find."
One of those urgent news alerts turned on, and the attention of all three turned there.
"Citizens of Neo Arcadia! I am Dr. Cornelius Ambrigilius Oogleboogleilius Weil."
Harpuia hated the TV more than ever. "Whoop dee shit."
"We have completed our new plans in energy sourcing and high gas prices, including dealing with the extremists. The finalization process of this will take three weeks."
At this point Levi was mocking the TV's words, making it look like her hand was talking.
"I regret to inform you that I, as your ruler, will be absent during this time, as our activities will take us into outer space. Fear not, as my new numbers will be sure that no attacks on Neo Arcadia will occur."
Fefnir and Levi decided to have a burping contest with root beer as Wiel went on, while Harpuia decided to make himself a few drinks. A dry martini, a bit of champagne; something to get his mind off of things. Then Weil finally concluded his speech.
"Receiving word on several other resistance forces building up outside our capital, I will also take the security measure of banning the former guardians of Master X completely from Neo Arcadia, to avoid any kind of interference or threat they may pose."
Harpuia turned off the TV. "Well, great, Weil's forcing us completely out. Now what?" He glared at Fefnir. "If you say something I'm going to kick your ass."
Fefnir twidled his fingers innocently, wanting so much to speak.
Leviathan let out an 8 second belch before answering. "Well, this just sucks. First it was being banned from just the Neo Arcadia Capital Core, and now it's the entire place! Now where are we supposed to live?"
The resistance was also watching Weil's message on the TV, mad gossip going on.
Zero was drinking juice from a bendy straw. "Ouch, that's harsh."
Ciel was standing next to him in her pajamas, a curling iron stuck sideways on her head. "Hmm. Maybe we should invite them over." She said with a sweet smile.
Zero was silent, then looked at the ceiling. "Oh, sure, let's invite them over for some tea. And while we're at it, let's invite Dr. Weil over so you can show him your plushie doll collection."
Ciel wasn't good at detecting sarcasm. "Um, Zero, is that okay?"
Zero continued. "Oh, of course! Let's also clone Omega five times and invite them over for a nice game of foosball! NO that's not okay! Just last night Harpuia tried to kill me, I've still got a restraining order on Leviathan, and Fefnir doesn't know the difference between poison needles and toothpicks! They still hate us, Ciel! Don't you remember when you and Leviathan almost killed each other when you took me into Cyberspace with you?"
"No."
"Well, ah forget it. Sure, invite them over, destroy the resistance base, whatever." Zero just went off into his room, frustrated.
He could never win an argument with Ciel unless it was him involved. He could just imagine the hell of living with the three guardians. No more pranks on Harpuia and getting away with it, as well as his constant bitter and depressed attitude that he was probably going to take out on everyone, the thought of going to sleep in his room and waking up in Leviathans, probably chained to the wall again, and Fefnir burning down the place because he got curious with the boiler room controls.
He could imagine it all now.
Meanwhile, the three had their things packed up, ready to leave.
"Farewell old apartment. May your presence be surrounded by mucho partying and vomit." Fefnir said, saluting the apartment.
Harpuia was a bit grossed out by the image. "Okay, really didn't need to hear that."
Leviathan had her arms crossed, "That, and you're not supposed to say goodbye to the house when you're still in it."
Suddenly, Harp's cell phone went off. "This had better be good."
"We've got a few extra rooms you could stay in." the female voice on the other side said.
Harpuia's eyes widened. "Ciel? But... wait, what?"
"Would you prefer to live in the desert?"
Harpuia noticed Levi and Fef's heads against his, trying to listen in. Harp sighed. "Name your terms."
"Nothing. Just come on over. Well, don't try to kill us. We're not bad people."
"Weil said the same thing." replied Leviathan. "Well, then again, he said he was some hot mofo, which he really wasn't. Eww."
Fefnir raised his eyes. "So you're inviting us, former guardians of Master X, to live with you, the resistance?"
Harpuia covered his face. "Ugh, how depressing."
"We don't have anything against you guys. Can we just get along? Pwease pwease pwease..."
Ciel continued on the other end, all three reluctant to accept her offer. Suddenly, they heard a scream on the other end of the line.
"Ciel! What have I told you about fixing my helmet with superglue? Ciel!"
"Sorry, Zero-chan!"
The three looked at each other with sinister smiles.
"All right. We accept." they spoke in unison.
Well, here's a new twist. Finals are just about done, and I have no idea what to do next, but I might have a few ideas. The three guardians living in the Resistance Base? You know that spells trouble. Tune in next time.