So you guys like cookies, eh? Guess what? I've got more! But, these were made by Shino and Kiba, so...eat them at your own discretion...
:grins:
Chapter 6: The Once and Future Culinary Kings
Hinata looked at the cards.
She looked at Neji.
She looked at the flowers.
"Neji, please tell me that you see the same thing I do. I'm not going mad, am I?"
There were many possible answers to be given to such a question, the most obvious being to tell Hinata that, yes, she was indeed going crazy, and should seek immediate medical attention. However, Neji was in a good mood today, and, since there was no one else around to hear him, he chose to be nice.
"If you're mad, then I am too."
"Oh good," Hinata said, and promptly sat down hard on the floor. Neji winced. From the looks of things, his cousin appeared as if she were about to lose all of her composure. He stood back, waiting for the explosion to come with bated breath...
Waiting...
Waiting...
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHY DO I HAVE THE ENTIRE YAMANAKA FLOWER SHOP IN MY HOUSE? ON MY FIREPLACE? ON MY COFFEE TABLE? ON MY CARPET? ON MY STAIRCASE?"
Clockwork.
Hinata turned her head, her eyes glinting with a crazed fire. For a split second, Neji feared that she would actually use her Byakugan and start breaking things, but she surprised him when the maniacal laughter began pouring from her lips instead
Not only had she lost all her marbles, but she was down right...frightening
Uh-oh. This is a class-A meltdown, and I have no idea how to stop it.
Though it was quite awkward, Neji dropped to the ground next to his hysterical cousin and patted her on the shoulder.
The laughter stopped, and Hinata flung herself at Neji, sobbing into his chest.
The situation had just moved beyond the point of plain awkward.
It was now very awkward.
Neji could feel himself tense, and his mind went off on all sorts of tangents that he could not seem to reign in. Of course, Hinata was oblivious to his discomfort, and clung to him tighter.
Red alert! Neji's head screamed. This is...hugging! We don't do hugging! And...and crying! She's crying! All over the shirt...We're in the danger zone here! Abandon ship! S.O.S! AUGH!
Okay, okay...deep breaths...in and out...that's it. Don't hyperventilate, you idiot! It's Hinata, not Tenten. Hinata's family, not girlfriend. You don't have to worry about telling her you love her over and over even though she's heard it fifty billion million times, and no matter how many times you say it, it's never enough, because if you don't say it every two seconds, then 'you don't love me anymore' and blahdee blah blah...
When Neji forced himself to think like that, he was able to get calmed down enough to appreciate the fact that it was his cousin in his arms, not his girlfriend. Tenten was one of the most emotional women he'd ever met, and she would have flown off the handle by now, for sure. Compared to her, Hinata's little outburst was mild.
"This is it," Hinata wailed. "I'm in hell, the demons are converging on me at once, and they're all wearing armor..." she continued wailing.
Neji let out a bark of laughter. The image that she'd just put into his head was more than amusing, and he pictured a swarm of miniature fiends waving swords around in the air.
"Am I really such a horrible person to deserve to be condemned, Neji?" Hinata demanded, pulling away enough to look him in the eye. The deranged spark had returned to her own, and that was enough incentive for Neji to toss out all other possible responses that would hint at Hinata's waning sanity and keep it positive.
"Of course not," he said jovially. "I'm the one who's condemned, when you look at it. You don't have a curse seal on your forehead, now do you?"
Touché.
Hinata hung her head, the spark disappearing—while Neji heaved an inner sigh of relief—and said, "I'm being silly, aren't I?"
"Moderately silly, yes."
Pouting, Hinata looked around at the living room again. "What am I going to do with all these?" She motioned wildly around her. "I don't...I can't..."
"Interior decorating," Neji stated matter-of-factly.
Hinata stared. "Is that supposed to make sense?"
Hmm...must make this an easy explanation, since she's too far gone to understand complexities...
Neji pointed. "See the pretty flowers? They'll look even prettier spaced out in all the rooms of the compound, don't you think? This place could use some color."
My, what an excellent idea Neji came up with! Hinata could have kissed him, though something told her he would probably drop dead if she were to do that, which would make her sad, indeed. Neji could be so resourceful when he wanted to, not to mention he provided endless hours of entertainment, though usually, he did not realize it.
"Brilliant!" She clapped her hands together, and began to dash about, gathering as many flowers as she could carry before zooming out of the room with them. Her mindset urged her to keep busy in order to avoid thinking about who could've sent all the flowers, and she listened to it with blissful subservience. She walked a thin line between sanity and insanity at the moment, and she figured it best to not focus on the real issue at hand right now.
Meanwhile, Neji buried his head in his hands and shuddered. He had just avoided what could have been a cataclysmic event by the skin of his teeth, but he still didn't feel safe.
"She's a nutcase," he muttered. "An absolute nutcase. And now I have to baby-sit her until she calms down, or she'll end up hurting herself." He groaned. "Not another Tenten—Hinata's supposed to be the level-headed one! I can't handle two of 'em!"
"Are you going to sit there and talk to yourself the rest of the night, or are you going to get off your butt and help me?" Hinata called as she retrieved more flowers. "I want to have this room cleared out before everyone comes home!"
Neji imagined his younger cousin Hanabi entering the scene, and immediately got to his feet. She tended to say whatever was on her mind, and Neji did not care for the idea of listening to her teasing, because he just knew that she would find something to tease him for. If he appeared busy, perhaps she would direct her comments at her sister instead.
Sighing, he scooped up a few vases in each arm, and followed Hinata around like an obedient dog, setting the flowers where she directed.
The things I do to keep the women in my life happy...
Shino and Kiba poked their heads around the bush they had concealed themselves behind, the same apprehensive look on both faces.
"I think we may have overdone it just a tad," Kiba admitted, scratching at his neck. The mosquitoes were positively thriving, and they all seemed to be a part of some commune to suck his blood.
"A tad? A tad?" Shino whispered, his eyes wide. Now that he had ample amounts of time to consider his actions, he wanted to crawl under a rock somewhere and wait for dry rot to set in. He'd done the very thing that Kurenai told him not to do, and spent boatloads of money—that he didn't have—on flowers that would eventually wilt and die. Not only that, but, judging from the commotion in the compound, he assumed that Hinata was swinging from a tree about now.
I don't blame her...
Heh, Echo snorted. Neither do I.
If you value your insignificant little life, you'd better shut that yap, or I'll squash you, so help me, Shino thought back to the Bug, who prudently chose not to voice any more opinions.
Akamaru, however, did not feel the need to exercise caution, and smacked his tail—hard—against the back of his master's head.
"Ow!" Kiba yelped. "That hurt!"
Good. You deserve it. Do you have any idea how much drama you are creating for that poor girl? Actually...
The dog took one calculating look at the distance between Shino's and Kiba's heads, crouched, and leaped. Shino received a nice, solid whack as well for his part in the mess.
And you! I expected you to be the one to realize that what you two were doing is wrong, but you are just as bad as Kiba!
Both boys protested rather vehemently at that. While Shino had some difficulty in understanding Akamaru's language, he made out the gist of what the dog said, and, even though he knew that Akamaru's point was valid, the idea of being compared to Kiba wasn't pleasant.
"Oh, come on Akamaru!" Kiba pouted. "That's not fair!"
Why not?
"Because...because...it just isn't!"
Akamaru made a rude noise. Oh, I see. It 'just isn't.' Wonderful defense, I must say.
"Crap," Shino muttered. "We just made everything worse, admit it."
After an encouraging glare from Akamaru, Kiba forced himself to say, "Yeah, we did. This is bad."
"Okay, so now that we actually agree on something, what do we do next?" Shino asked.
Kiba swiped at some more mosquitoes. "Start being more individual, for one. Obviously, the flower thing got way out of hand, so we should probably stay away from that next time, you know?"
"Yeah," Shino agreed slowly.
"So, I guess we'll call this one a draw, okay?
Shino raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm serious! I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't serious!"
"Okay, okay, geez. Calm down."
"Do you hear that Neji?" Hinata's voice rang out from inside the compound. "I swear I heard voices..."
"Crap!"
Kiba yanked on Shino's collar, dragging him back into the bush, and just in time, because Hinata appeared in the doorway, looking about frantically. Neji peered over her shoulder, his expression worried.
"Come on, Hinata," he said, gripping her by the shoulders and turning her around. "You like tea, right? I'll make you some, and it'll be really good, okay?"
"Tea?" Hinata said absently. "Oh yes, tea. How pleasant..."
The door closed.
Poor, poor child, Echo sighed.
Her family did not say anything about the abundance of flowers that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere and for that, Hinata was grateful. She felt bad about the ordeal that she'd put Neji through once she'd gotten a hold of herself again, and she apologized to him more than once before he retreated to the Branch family's half of the compound, his cheeks stained pink.
It was after the others had gone to bed when Hanabi entered her sister's room and shut the door behind her.
Hinata had her nose buried in an oversized book, but she looked up in surprise when she heard the door open.
"Hana? What's up?"
The younger girl snorted. She flounced over to the bed, took the book out of her sister's hands, and sat down next to her.
"Why don't you tell me where the flowers came from?"
Blast.
"Oh...you noticed."
Hanabi stared. "How could I not? They're all over the place!"
"Yeah...about that...oh here," Hinata grabbed the two cards that were lying on the nightstand and handed them to her sister.
When she finished reading, both eyebrows shot up. "Secret admirers, eh? How fun!"
Of all the terms to use to describe this situation, 'fun' was definitely not on the top of the list.
"Are you out of your mind? This isn't fun! It's emotional warfare, am I'm a dying army!"
Hanabi gave her sister a knowing smile. "Perhaps they aren't secret admirers, then."
She's too perceptive for her own good, Hinata thought with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. The truth was, she did have a fairly good idea as to who was behind all of this, but she did not want to admit it out loud. However, Hanabi would pester her until she received an answer, so Hinata was not left with much choice.
While she only intended to tell a little bit of the story, once she got started, a whole deluge poured out of her, and she couldn't stop until every last detail had been covered.
"It's Shino and Kiba," Hanabi said bluntly when Hinata stopped talking. "I agree with Sakura and Ino on every point. You're gorgeous, you're friendly, you care about others more than yourself...of course they'd like you! I mean, you were all on the same team for years, and that gave them time to get to know you. Okay, yes, they did get...carried away with the flowers, but...what can you expect from boys?"
In spite of herself, Hinata giggled. "That's true." Her countenance changed suddenly. "Oh, I just don't think I'm worth all the attention, Hana! No one ever used to give me a second glance, and now..."
"Stop that," the younger Hyuuga ordered, and wrapped her arms around her sister. "You are worth it, Hinata," she soothed in a more quiet tone. "Why do you always have to berate yourself? I mean, look at how far you've come in only a few years! Father is so proud of you, Hinata, do you know that? He talks about you all the time, about how strong your spirit is. And...I'm proud of you, too. I couldn't ask for a better sister than you."
Hinata could not speak for a few moments.
"Really?" She whispered.
"Really," Hanabi replied, and kissed Hinata on the cheek. "Now, about those boys..."
The two talked and giggled into the later hours of the night, each feeling closer to the other than they ever had before.
Ah, the joys of baking. As any experienced baker knows, it is a good idea to have all of the ingredients out before one begins the process of creating a culinary masterpiece—baking tip number one--but for those unfortunate souls who discover that useful tip after the fact, well, let's just say that the amount of swearing one can hear filtering out of the kitchen is spectacular.
Baking tip number two: One must make sure that one understands how to read a recipe—and follow the directions to the letter—before one even contemplates beginning, or the consequences shall be dire.
Baking tip number three: If one does not know how to use a mixer, an oven, or any other appliance used to bake with, it is smartest to back away, or the consequences shall be dire.
If baking tips one, two, and three are not followed, the consequences will exceed the point of being dire, and move straight into abysmal.
Witness Exhibit A: The kitchen of Inuzuka Kiba
It was a calm, peaceful Sunday morning. Kiba's mother and sister were snug in their beds, sleeping away, unaware that the world in which they knew it was about to be turned upside down.
In the kitchen, our subject, one Inuzuka Kiba, attempted to hook up the most confusing contraption—in his opinion—ever made: the mixer. So far, all he managed to do was plug the thing in. He still had to get the large, metal bowl in place on the bottom, andfind a way to get the whisks to stay put instead of falling out the minute he moved his hand.
"Damn it! Why—won't—they—stay?" Each word was punctuated by the sounds of metal smacking into metal as he furiously jabbed the ends of the whisks into the tiny holes on the underside of the mixer. After forty-five minutes of endless repetition, the whisks finally clicked into place, and Kiba did a victory dance.
"Take that!"
Akamaru, on the kitchen table, rolled his eyes. This is going to be a long morning.
Once the mixer was in order, Kiba flicked it on to make sure that it worked properly, and was satisfied to see the whisks whipping around and around as they should.
"Good, good," he said, and examined the recipe for chocolate chip cookies that he'd dug out of his mother's recipe box.
"Heat oven...350 degrees...hmm..."
He looked at the oven.
And saw knobs.
Lots of them.
"Uh-oh..." Kiba decided to do some shifty guesswork, and turned one of the knobs with numbers on it to the 350 mark. He shrugged. "Okay, next..."
"Mix together butter (softened), eggs, milk, flour, sugar, baking—powder?--and baking--soda? What? What's the difference?"
As Kiba began digging through the pantries in search of the ingredients, Akamaru was growing more and more apprehensive by the second. He could tell that disaster was on the horizon; it was only a matter of time.
Kiba held a small canister in one hand and a box in the other. One said baking powder, and one said baking soda. He looked from one to the other, trying to figure out why one was powder and one was soda, but he eventually gave up and dumped some of each in the mixing bowl. Along with the powder and soda, the eggs—which Kiba had a hard time cracking—flour, milk, and sugar found their way into the bowl, and he was just about to flip the switch when he remembered that he'd forgotten butter.
Opening the fridge, he found a package of margarine and pulled out two sticks. He looked at the recipe again.
"Softened? What the—"
Giving the margarine a little pinch with his fingers, he decided that it was soft enough, and it too joined the rest of the items in the bowl.
And now...
...the moment of truth.
Taking a deep breath, Kiba flipped the switch.
"AUGH!"
Kianna sat bolt upright in bed, sending her dog, Alexander, flying. In the next room, her mother did the same, and both women met in the hallway. Wordlessly, they crept down the stairs, rounded a corner...
And saw Kiba, covered in partially mixed...goo.
As one, their jaws dropped.
The oven gave a hiccup.
Cleanup on aisle Kiba, Akamaru deadpanned.
Now, witness Exibit B: The kitchen of Aburame Shino
Again, it was the same, peaceful Sunday morning. Jiro was sleeping soundly in his bed, not a care in the world, dreaming...
Shino was in the kitchen.
Fortunately for him, his skill with the mixer was a bit farther along than Kiba's, and he had the thing completely hooked up within five minutes. The rest of his skills, however, were...lacking (and that's being very, very, very nice).
He decided that it would be smart to add things one at a time, which is a smart choice, yes, but, he did not follow baking tip number one.
Needless to say, he discovered halfway through that he did not have baking soda or baking powder, the only sugar they had was brown, and, while the recipe required two sticks of butter, he could only find one.
Hmm...not good, definitely not good.
The batter that he ended up with managed to be lumpy and runny at the same time, and even adding the chocolate chips didn't aid matters much. Still, he was determined to go through with this—even though he should have given up by this point—and spooned the stuff in the bowl on a baking sheet, which went into the oven...
And burned.
"AUGH!"
Jiro woke to the sound of the fire alarm going off, and he raced down the stairs in time to see his brother with a fire extinguisher, and was promptly treated to a face-full of the white, foamy substance that came shooting out of the nozzle.
My, I believe this is the most fun I have ever had, Echo chortled.
Jiro passed a hand over his face, a devilish glint in his eyes.
"Oh, it's going to get much more fun, I promise," he said, and advanced upon his brother, who brandished the fire extinguisher like a weapon.
And so, as you can see, it is always best to follow the baking tips, or scenarios such as these may be waiting...
BWAH-HA-HA! What will happen to our poor Knights? Will they be able to make their cookies? Will Hinata ever figure out her feelings? Will anyone get a kiss? Will the madness never end? Stay tuned!
:oh, I thought I'd say that I'm a bit of a Medieval buff, which is the reason for my obsession with knights, if anyone cares: