Guardian Roommates: Chapter 12: Trade
Capcom owns everyone. I just got the idea for the story.
Neither Fefnir nor Leviathan could sleep. If there was something bad about their new rooms, it was the fact that you could hear everything going on in the next one. In this case, it was loud typing that had been going on for hours.
Frustrated, both Levi and Fef went for the room with the green light. Harpuia.
Levi started out, moisturizer all over his face, "What are you doing at this time of night? What are you, an insomniac?"
"Something of the sort," Harp responded.
Fefnir noticed Harp was shopping on the internet. This was certainly not his style.
"Shopping?" the drool-covered guardian questioned.
"Yep," the typing one claimed.
Silence. Well, if there was one thing certain about Harpuia's style, he was extremely secretive about his actions unless it was something in his guardian duties. And as one would expect, this is one thing Fefnir and especially Leviathan hated, until a round ball appeared on the screen.
"Plenty of oxygen, a massive width and some nice scenery. Hmm…" Harpuia continued.
"A planet? You're planning to move to another planet?" Fefnir asked.
"Better. I'm thinking of buying one." Harp smirked.
Leviathan blinked. "Buying a planet? What are you going to do with a planet?"
"You need to ask? Simple. Take a lifeless pretty planet, well, one that's a desolate wasteland with a lot of water, do a ton of gardening and make a ton of cities to add some flavor and life, try to attract some people, make yourself leader, and what do you have? Planet Harpuia." Harpuia sneered.
Both Levi and Fefnir blinked a few times before able to completely comprehend it.
"Planet Harpuia?" the two asked in unison.
"Planet Harpuia."
Harpuia thought this was a genius idea, while the other two thought it was the most ridiculous thing they've heard.
"Goodnight," the two finished in unison before leaving the room.
"Steak and eggs! Beeeyooong!" an ecstatic blonde cried as he pulled a delicious meal from the oven, cutting his meal with a green sword.
"Does he do that every morning?" Leviathan asked a resistance soldier across from her.
"When he doesn't give Ms. Ciel the chance to cook breakfast, it would be a surprise if he wasn't." the soldier answered.
Enter the resistance cafeteria on the top floor. On one side are the observation towers, on the other side, the one that we never see since the game's in 2D, the cafeteria faces us. Fefnir already got lost and Harpuia was still on the computer, so Levi went on her own to breakfast. Of course, Zero got up five hours early to prevent Ciel from cooking before him.
Leviathan now knew why some people think that the way to someone's heart is their mouth. In this case, she glared in awe at Zero, who tossed his eggs into the air, catching them in his mouth, and eating his entire steak in one bite. All she had on her tray were scrambled eggs, sausage, and since the word 'French' had been banned by Copy X in the Post-Elf War Leadership wars (don't ask), X Toast. Well, Zero was the cook this morning, and it beats whatever grey egg salad and green toast that Ciel cooked every now and then.
Her thinking came to an abrupt end as a loud belching entered her ear and flew out the other.
"Fefnir, you sicko!" she cried.
In a redneck accent, her brother beamed, "This is the best damn burrito I ever tasted!"
"Whoopie."
More resistance soldiers cheered as they hailed before their cook, the red legend with blonde hair and cooked with sparkling green weapons.
"Whoever knew Zero's sword added a mint flavor to our meal?"
"So that explains why it's green."
"Where's Ms. Ciel anyway?"
"Hello? Hello? I'm trapped somewhere and I have bubble gum all over my face!"
She still hadn't escaped from her closet.
"With a meal like this, I'm not really concerned yet."
"You got me there."
As the many resistance soldiers gossiped to each other about Zero's cooking abilities, Fefnir stuffed his face with whatever he could and used his guns to fry his food more.
"You know, I never knew that Zero was much of a cook. Sure, he could put up an awesome fight, do the impossible, fool the IRS and pay half his utility bills, but this is really really good stuff." Fefnir chowed down, "I wonder how he got those skills."
A week before Halloween:
"Ugh, remind me why in Cyberspace I'm teaching you my skills?"
"Because you both lost to me in a game of poker, darts, Battleship, and all the Street Fighter games out there. That, and I caught you cheating in Uno."
"He's got us there, Master."
"Please do not remind me, apprentice. So, I see it has come down to this, Zero."
"So it has, Phantom. I am ready to begin my training!"
In a huge restaurant in Cyberspace, Zero holds a spoon and spatula as weapons and prepares himself in a battle stance. The popular Cyber chef Phantom and his apprentice, Cyber-elf Elpizo stand/float across him, both sweatdropping.
"This had better be worth my time. You have interrupted the watching of my favorite movie trilogy!" Phantom muttered, covering his face.
"A deal is a deal, Phantom." Zero smirked with evil.
Phantom pouted. "I hate you."
"That's a trade secret," Zero smiled. "Ever heard the phrase, 'Magicians never reveal their secrets'? I ain't telling anyone my secret! Now if you don't mind, I need to cook lunch. A grand feast!"
The entire resistance cheered. "Hooray!"
"What'd I miss?" asked a nearby reploid with black circles around his eyes.
"Hi Harpuia." his siblings responded.
"Just a meal from the Resistance Force's new cook." Levi answered.
"They didn't cook any of those cats running around, did they?"
"Nope, good ol' plain, natural and fresh food!" Fefnir spoke with his mouth full, unintentionally spitting all the food at Harp.
"Charming..." the foodface spoke. "But I haven't eaten all day."
"It's only breakfast." Levi observed.
"Who said I ate yesterday? Be back shortly, then I'm headed elsewhere."
Out in the dunes of the desert, a sandstorm blows past a small town several miles away from Neo Arcadia. Despite the storm, many people and reploids still gather, making several trades and sales, half of which are probably legal. A dark hooded figure makes his way through after parking what appears to be a falcon, entering a bar.
Inside, more of the same. Several people talking, making deals, and some actually drinking. There's even a small band in the corner.
"Ugh, ever since that movie came out all the sand cities look the same. Well, I'd better start looking," the figure spoke, taking off his cloak of his face, revealing a green helmet with green face paint..
Behind him, two more figures entered.
Harpuia took a seat at the bar. "Give me a Red Six, mix some raspberry in there and be sure there's some ice in there this time."
"You Sage?"
Sage turned around to see a reploid that appeared his age, but it was clear he was built several years ago, wearing some blue face paint, but a male.
Harpuia leaned towards the tradesman. "You got what I want?"
"Actually, about that. I thought it was a free and empty planet. Turns out my little sister attached a ball onto my telescope. Sorry, but I found this out about ten minutes ago."
Harpuia grumbled as he sucked down his wine. "Figured it was too good to be true. Well, thanks, I guess." He then turned around to face the two dark figures behind him. "You're not fooling anyone, you two."
Grumbling, the two took off their cloaks.
"How did you know?" asked the blue-haired girl with a scythe.
"Maybe he has night vision goggles or something." spoke the red one with two huge guns on his back.
"We're built with night vision, you moron." the blue one snapped back.
"Oh, right." the red one spoke.
Harpuia wiped his face with his hand. "I still don't see how we're related." He then turned to the bartender. "Give me a few Red Sixes for the road."
It was weird having three reploids with weak-clothed cloaks on. Harpuia was the first to notice, unsurprisingly.
"So, what? Are you guys trying to copy my fashion sense now?" he asked sarcastically.
"We're thinking you got the look from somewhere else," Levi replied.
"I don't copy movies."
"No, we're talking about this."
Leviathan pointed to a picture of Zero on the wall, walking through the desert with the same type of cloak on. This was an old picture, then Harpuia remembered it was taken shortly before he saved Zero.
"So, that's why he saved me." he thought out loud.
"NOW you figure that out?" Leviathan shouted.
"And I thought I was slow." Fefnir followed.
"Oh shut up. When you're going to be late for a dental appointment with a hundred credit late fee, you'd take the easy way out." Harpuia excused.
"Uh huh. Sure." Leviathan teased.
"You try throwing his body into a sandworm, dropping a tank on him, and pouring warm water on his hand. Yet he passes out because of a sandstorm." Harpuia finished. "So, why did you two follow me in the first place?"
Fefnir got ecstatic. "Are you kidding? We kinda thought about it, and then we decided we also wanted our own planets. Planet Fefnir, where dragons will be the primary way of transportation over pools of lava and the only way to get a job is to fight to the death! That'd be cool."
Harpuia then turned his head to Leviathan.
"What? Me? Well, why not have a water planet and make my own ice utopia. Leviantis! I'm still working on the name, but my own little world wouldn't be a bad idea."
Harpuia, after shaking his head, headed toward the entrance. "You two stay if you want, I'm out of here."
After turning the security off Falcon, Harpuia hopped on and flew away into the sandstorm.
Shortly afterwards, after getting themselves drinks, Leviathan and Fefnir came out.
"He likes ditching us, doesn't he?" Leviathan pouted.
"I guess he still has a grudge against us when we used to carpool in high school. Well, I know what this means..." Fefnir groaned.
Fefnir drove across the desert in his powered vehicle form as Leviathan sat on one of his cannons.
"You know what?" the vehicle spoke.
"Hmm?"
"In our powered forms, I'm for land, you're for water, and Harp's for air. What was Phantom supposed to be in his powered form?"
She took a few seconds to think. "You know, I have no idea. I'm placing my bets on a space station or an underground drill. If he were nothing more than a giant shuriken, I'd be laughing."
"The world may never know." he finished.
Ciel's closet blew open, and shortly after, a burnt and smoking blonde human crawled out.
"So that's why I kept that grenade in my closet. Still...!"
She rushed outside of her lab and punched the picture of herself on the wall.
"Damn you, doppelganger! You may have gotten me once, but the next time I see you, your soul is mine! Muahahahahahh...hah..hahahahahah...I'm hungry."
Tune in next time. Beeyong!