Chapter 5

By the time her doorbell rang an hour later, Natalie was somewhat more composed, although there was little she could do to hide the redness and puffiness of her eyes. As the doorbell seemed to peal against her aching head, she moved down the stairs to pull it open.

"About damned time, girl. When you ask someone to be somewhere, you should be ready on time," Asa groused as he moved pass Natalie and into the house. "Now what did you need that was so important that I had to come here instead of you. . ." he bulldozed, only to stop as he took in her face. "Dag nam it, what that idiot cop do to you? I'll have him brought out and. . ."

"Thanks for the thought, Asa, but it isn't completely John's fault," Natalie sighed as she crossed into the living room.

"Then I'll get whoever else is too."

Natalie laughed slightly at that, "If only it was that simple."

"If you don't want me to draw and quarter the boy, what do you want?" he asked as he sat on the couch.

"What's the easiest way for me to get a quickie divorce discretely?" she asked point blank.

"What? Don't tell me after the Lawrence fiasco you went off and. . ."

"Ass, I didn't, OK? Can you not judge me or John or jump to conclusions and answer my question please?"

"If you tell me why you need one," he countered.

Exhaling, Natalie started to pace in front of him: "John Doe."

"Excuse me? Do you mean that snip of a boy who pretended to be Christian?"

"No, I mean the one, who, according to DNA tests, is Christian."

Asa started at her for a moment before getting to his feet. "I don't know who's put that cockamamie idea in your head. And I swear if it's one of Chandler's distractionary tactics. . . ."

"Dmnit, not everything is about Ace and the Chandlers! While you were helping Kevin keep a child who isn't his, someone was playing G-d with my life! For just once, I want to get control of it back and for you to maybe pretend that I'm as much your grandchild as. . ." she started only to start crying again. "Dmnit! I thought I was done with this!"

Shaking his head, Asa turned her around to face him and gave her an awkward hug. "I do. . ." he started as he shook his head and pulled back. "Tell me what happened."

"John had suspected that Christian wasn't Christian and he and Evangeline convinced me to get them something that would. . ." she paused wiping at tears. "I got them Chris's razor for DNA. . . I don't know what they compared it to, and. . . by the time the results came back it didn't seem to matter. He had confessed and. . ."

"He was put in jail where he belongs."

"Yeah. The only thing is the DNA test proved that he is Christian. Evangeline was kind enough to bring the results with her when she came to drop off some of John's stuff today so that I could know the truth," Natalie finished sarcastically.

"She could've. . ."

"She didn't," Natalie interrupted. "John knew. He said he promised Chris that he wouldn't tell."

"I see," Asa said as he pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure he gets kicked off the force."

"Don't."

"What do you expect me to do? You want me to do for you what I would do for the others. So let me."

"John made a couple of valid points in his defense, OK? You want to bring someone's career to a screeching halt, go gunning for Evangeline. She's the one who's being vindictive. And to tell you the truth, I've had enough of her crap to gladly unleash you onto her," she countered. "In the meantime, I want Chris out of my life."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. My Chris is dead. He wouldn't have let us all think that he was an imposter or put us through the hell of losing him a second time."

"I don't know. I always thought he was nothing but a self righteous punk."

"Asa. . ."

"What? He wasn't nearly good enough for you. If I said anything I was told to hush up and stay out, and who am I to object over your mother and Renee?" he asked to her 'harrumph.' "I learned with stubborn woman that it's better to let them make their own mistakes."

"Saids the most stubborn old coot I know!"

"Then I should know what I'm talking about, shouldn't I?" he asked. "Go to St. Blaze. I'll have everything arranged by the time you get there tomorrow morning."

"Afternoon," she corrected, then answered at his look: "Chris is going to have to face me. I'm not going to let him just get away with this."

"Fine. I'll talk to Nigel about taking us."

"Asa, you don't have to. . ."

"The hell I don't!" he replied. "That boy hurt you multiple times and he's going to end up doing it again tomorrow. You can talk to him all you want on your own, but then he's going to have to answer to me. McBaine too."

"You don't have to go gunning for John. I'm sure Antonio and Carlotta will cut him down to size," she said sadly.

"You love him, don't you?"

"Its what makes this so bad. What makes it hurt so much. If he had just told me. . . trusted that I was over. . . Grandpa, I never. . . the Christian who came back scared me. I would've. . . sooner or later, he would've. . ."

"Come here," Asa said, hugging her again, allowing her to cry into his shoulder before setting her away from him so that she could look him in the eye. "You listen here and you listen good. You don't deal with things like that on your own, you hear me? It might be old fashioned, and lord knows you could probably have laid the boy flat on your own, but Buchanans stick together. And the Buchanan men don't let anyone hurt their women."

"Considering some of the things that I've been through. . . seen. . . I don't know how much I believe that.

I know I felt like I had to make it work. Be happy with the second chance I got. It should've been a dream come true, only it was a nightmare. And there was so much else that you all needed to focus on.

I guess I've just learned to be invisible and silent. My problems aren't--- weren't--- on the same scale.

Even now with what's going on with Jess and the custody stuff. . . I just need to end that part of my life and I didn't know who else could answer my questions. I can do this on my own if I have to."

"Well, you don't," Asa countered. "Go get yourself packed. You're coming home with me for the night and we'll go to Statesville and then St. Blaze tomorrow."

"Why? I still have to come back here and face it all. I know there'll be the accusations again. If it isn't how I ruined Chris's life then it'll be how John lied so that we could be together or G-d knows what else! Part of me wants to just run away and hide. To just forget all this."

Asa stared at her for a moment: "is the family part of all this too?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I'm just tired of fighting. I thought it would be different if I was someone different. But I still work double shifts and have to fight for every bit of ground I make in this family. I have no idea who the hell I am any more. I live in two worlds. The Buchanan one and the Balsom one and I can't make decent choices in either!"

"You are definitely a Buchanan. Stubborn. Independent. Want to make it on your own, but you also want family. Of all my grandchildren you probably have to unfortunate distinction of being the one most like me."

"What?"

"We fight so hard that sometimes we push people away because we're afraid our relationships with them will break apart or they'll push us away first, don't we?"

"I suppose."

"We've also come up the hard way."

"Yeah."

"You want to stop fighting for a while, then do it. You have the means to go someplace else. To start over someplace else if it comes to it. Or you can go to London. I know that son of mine would love for you to visit."

"Yeah. Right. His concern about all of this so far has been overwhelming. And Joey's always on retreat."

Asa sighed at that: "to tell you the truth, I don't know how much they actually know. I don't talk to either of them nearly as much as I should, and I doubt you talk all that much to your Pa yourself. In fact, I'll let you in on a secret. I suspect that your Pa's jealous of just how much you let Bo know and not him."

"Yeah, well, Uncle Bo is here, isn't he?" Natalie shot back. "And I can't help it if Mom can't see what's there and keeps sending him away, or that he doesn't get that she's not the only one who needs him. And just once, I don't want to have to ask. I'd like for him to buy a clue!"

"So get on a plane and tell him that!"

"Like it would work? Besides, I'd only end up sounding as whiny as Duke. Besides I can't run forever."

"Well, you'll have sometime to think it over. Now get those things together so that we can go."

"I need to be alone."

"It's a big house, you'll have your space, but you're coming with me. You need family tonight."

"Fine. Fine. I'll go throw some stuff together."

"And don't forget your passport."

"You're not going to dump me in London are you?" she asked suspiciously.

"Don't go giving me ideas."

"Wouldn't dream of it."