Dearest Readers,

I have no legal rights to this material and do not own Lord of the Rings (although I do have many various pieces of LOTR merchandise)

Sincerely,

Lady F-P of the Rings

March 5, Year 3019 On the way back to Edoras

We met Saruman today (what a pleasant fellow…not!) I also had the (actual) pleasure of meeting Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took (also known as Merry and Pippin) They are the cutest little things (although they most likely wouldn't appreciate me saying that) and the two companions that Gandalf had spoke of. But I really should begin…well, at the beginning.

We arrived at Isenguard around 10 in the morning (Ha! Ha! Gandalf was wrong for once!) When we arrived at the gates, everyone but Gandalf and Aragorn seemed really surprised to see the whole place completely and utterly destroyed! Me being the curious, nosy, and impulsive person that I am, I rode ahead through the gates. As I passed through the other side of the gates, I heard a small voice from below and to my right say, "Good day m'lady. What brings you to Isenguard in its destruction?"

As I pulled on the reins and turned around, I saw a curious sight. Two people that were too small for adults and the wrong proportions for children, were sitting on the ground just inside the gates (well, one was more lying than sitting).

"Who and what are you?" I asked in (what was supposed to be) my most intimidating voice. It didn't work.

"I am Meriadoc Brandybuck, otherwise known as Merry, and my sleeping companion," At this, said sleeping companion received a kick in the stomach, "Is my cousin Peregrin Took, otherwise known as Pippin."

"That answers the first part of my question. What about the second part? What are you?" I was getting a bit annoyed about not getting a full answer.

"Well, we are-Legolas! Gimli! Strider! Gandalf?" Merry yelled. At this, Pippin promptly woke up and joined in the reunion, which was quickly broken up by my glare.

"Oh yes! M'lady, what was your question again?" Merry asked.

At this point I was really getting annoyed, "What are you for good gracious galloping sakes!"

At this Legolas began to laugh and said, "My dear Éowyn, they-"

He never got any further than that because my sword was pointed at his throat within striking distance. "Never, ever call me 'dear' again," I hissed. (Éomer says I sound dangerous when I hiss. Wormtongue said I sounded sexy. I hope Legolas thinks like my brother not Wormtongue) (Although, it wouldn't be so bad if he did…I can't believe I just wrote that).

Anyways…somehow someone (I think it was Éomer and Aragorn) managed to convince me that I didn't have to kill Legolas to make sure he didn't call me 'dear' again, and I was told that Merry and Pippin were a) hobbits, b) holbytla, c) periannath, or d) halflings (depends on whether you're a) a hobbit, b) Rohirrim, c) Elvish, or d) pretty much everyone else). They told me that they preferred to be called hobbits, so I'll stick with that.

After that whole mess had been sorted out (and I had sincerely apologized to Legolas for wanting to kill him), Gandalf came back (I hadn't realized he'd even gone) followed by an ENT! I keep wondering if today is just a dream where fairy tales come to life! I mean Ents and holbytla, I mean hobbits! What a surprise!

The Ent's name was Treebeard (how original) and he was the head Ent (I'm not sure if that's what they call it but, hey, works for me!). Anyways, Treebeard and his Ents were the ones who destroyed the gates and grounds of Isenguard (YEAH for Ents!). Saruman and Wormtongue (ick!) were shut up in Orthanc (the actual tower).

Anyways, I'm going to change the subject off of Wormtongue for now. I really think that the Ents are quite annoying with their way of talking although I could never say that out loud without risking a war with the Ents (Luckily only Éomer and Uncle would be able to read this since it's in the secret language of the royal Rohirrim). It just takes too long! They're lucky they're trees otherwise they all would have died long ago. I mean, if it took me that long to make decisions, I would've died when I was two (okay so maybe I'm exaggerating a little).

Okay, that is enough about Ents. We rode up to the tower after talking to Treebeard, and dismounted. Gandalf, Aragorn, Uncle Théoden, Éomer, Legolas, Gimli, and I went up the stairs to the door of Orthanc. Gandalf pounded on the door, calling for Saruman.

A voice I had hoped to never hear again (you guessed it…Wormtongue!) asked what we wanted (I personally thought it was quite obvious). Gandalf sent him to fetch Saruman (it was so wonderful to see someone else bossing him around).

I don't know how to describe Saruman. You could tell that he and Gandalf were both of the same power just by looking at them. But there was something more sinister and suspicious about Saruman. While Gandalf reminds you of a grandfather or some other kindly old relative (when he's happy at least), Saruman looks more like the crazy old uncle that no one likes and everyone tries to avoid. His most distinguishing feature isn't his looks, but his voice. It seemed that it bewitched everyone (except me and Gandalf, must be an Istari thing). When he talked to Uncle, I wanted to punch him in the face! Lucky for him he was up on that balcony! I mean, I couldn't believe him! Asking for peace! After all he's done! (I'm fine, I'm fine). And Uncle rejected him (woohoo, Uncle Théoden!).

After he talked to Uncle and that didn't work, he turned to Gandalf. He tried to convince Gandalf to be his friend. I swear when I looked at Gandalf as Saruman was talking, he was struggling to hide a smile. Then Saruman said, "Are we not both members of a high and ancient order, most excellent in Middle-earth?"

That was when Gandalf lost it. He started laughing like crazy! Everyone was taken aback, even me and especially Saruman! After a moment though, when everyone else still thought that Gandalf had cracked, I realized why he was laughing. Saruman hadn't figured out the prophecy! He didn't know about me. I guess Wormtongue hadn't told him that (although you think that Saruman would have been suspicious about the burns all over his body) (of course, who would want to admit that a girl set him on fire when he was trying to kiss her). Now this realization started me chuckling (not giggling, chuckling), which was when Saruman noticed me for the first time.

"Who are you, girl?" He spat the last word, as if it was something that I should have been ashamed of.

"I am Lady Éowyn of Rohan, niece of King Théoden, Saruman." I said my last word as he had said his, full of hatred, and dropped a mocking curtsy.

"You are brave, girl. Stupid, but brave."

"I always thought that it was part of the job description, until now. Bravery that is, not stupidity."

"What job description?" He was obviously flustered by my lack of fear and respect.

"You didn't know?" I said as if I was surprised, "I thought Wormtongue would have told you."

"Told me what?" He tried to regain his composure.

"I still can't believe you don't know."

"Don't know what?" He was struggling to stay calm.

"Well, maybe you do know. Although…then we have a much more serious problem…" I tried to sound worried.

"Oh really?" he said (he thought I was serious, guess I'm a better actor than I thought) "And what might that problem be?" He looked positively delighted.

"Well…you can't count Saruman."

He stared at me openmouthed for a moment, then said, "I what?"

"Can't count," I said plainly.

"And why, pray tell," he was struggling again, "Do you think I can not count?"

"Well when you were talking to Gandalf," I began, "You said 'Are we not both members, blah, blah, blah.' You should have said 'Are we three not all members' or 'Are we not all three members' etc. etc. etc." He had no idea what I was talking about.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, young lady, but I assure you I can count to two and that I meant to say 'both' not 'three'."

"Oh!" I acted as if this was a big surprise, "You see that's not our problem then. It's just that you don't know."

"Don't…know…what?" He was just barely controlling himself. I think the only reason he didn't blast me to smithereens was that he was too curious about what he didn't know and how I could talk to him like that.

"You don't know who I am." That's all I said to him.

"Yes I do! You said yourself that you were Lady Éowyn of Rohan!" He was really getting angry.

"Well, yeah, I am. But, you see, a little bit got added to my 'title' just the other day. It's amazing how important two little three-letter words can be. And silly me, not used to it yet, forgot them in my introduction. You see, my new official title is Lady Éowyn the Red of Rohan." I made sure to put emphasis on those words.

"The Red?" Saruman said disbelievingly.

"Yes, red. As in apples, blood, cherries, fire, umm…what else?"

"I know what red is!"

"Oh I see…you didn't understand that I was the Sixth Istari. That's why you couldn't count! That's why you said 'both' not 'all three'! Sorry, my misunderstanding!" And of course he knew I had been playing him the entire time now.

"And you, Saruman," Gandalf said, having finally controlled his laughter, "You are no longer an Istari. Behold!" And with that his staff snapped in half (Saruman not Gandalf of course).

Saruman…screeched (I think that would be the best description for the un-human sound that he made), and turned back into the tower. At that moment, a round stone came hurtling down from higher up in the tower (obviously thrown by Wormtongue). It bounced off the balcony, then hit the middle step and rolled down the rest of the stairs to land in a puddle.

Gandalf quickly went to get it (at a very undignified half-run). However Pippin got there first. He took it to give to Gandalf, but he seemed to stop and Gandalf had to take it from him. It was very strange and I guess Gandalf didn't seem to think it important to inform me of what