Author's Note: Wow! Thanks for all the feedback! All these reviews make me extremely happy and ready to type out a new chapter!!! ;) And this chapter's title comes from Pink Floyd's album "The Wall". As you can tell – I like rock. :) By the way, Alucard and Seras' teacher mirrors MY driver's ed teacher except I changed the name a little bit. Enjoy!! :)
Chapter Note: Regarding the little snippet at the end of my last chapter . . . Do you watch the anime? Do you remember the little "next chapter" things where Seras attempts to tell what happens in the next chapter but never gets around to it because so many random things happen?? Well, that's what I'm going to be doing. :) It adds just a bit more comedy. Enjoy this chapter!!
Disclaimer: Grand Hellsing belongs to whom?
Not to me I say!
Please don't sue! I have no cash!
-Ch3-
Chapter 3: Teachers Leave Us Kids Alone-Ch3-
Seras looked in the mirror and put a blue shirt on a hanger in front of her and then a red one.
I don't know which one to pick . . .they're both so nice. The blue one has beautiful sparkles on it while the red one is a softy-velvety texture.
Seras continued to ponder before realizing she had her favorite outfit newly washed – thanks to Walter. Seras happily walked over to her closet and pulled out light blue jeans, red tank-top and a dark blue coat.
"There! Now I'm ready!"
-Ch3-
Knock.
"Master?"
Knock, knock.
"Master!"
KNOCK. KNOCK.
"MASTER!!!"
BANG. BANG.
Seras' tiny thread of patience snapped after waiting for one minute after every call for her master. After she banged on the door loud enough for the dead to hear [1], she kicked it down. Seras' blood boiled. There on the bed, lay her master. He was dressed in his "house clothes" as he called them and he was apparently . . .taking a nap. Of course, Seras had never been to her master's real room – he just liked this room because Walter had put a new mattress in it. Seras stomped over to the bed and was ready to punch Alucard awake when he suddenly vanished. Actually he melted into the mattress. An eerie laughter was heard echoing throughout the room.
"Come now, Police Girl. Are you so eager to kill your master?"
"We're going to be late!" Seras half whined half yelled.
"I'll meet you outside Police Girl. Odds are I'll still get there faster even though I need to change," Alucard's cruel laughter echoed through the room as his presence disappeared.
"I'll show him!" Seras yelled before running through the Hellsing manor with lightning-speed. She finally made it to the front entrance and as she turned the knob and as she looked outside . . .
No! It can't be . . .
Seras stared as her favorite ice cream truck went by. Not only was she going to be late to her first driving class, but she had also missed her daily choco-pop. And behind the ice cream truck, after it drove away, stood none other than Alucard. And he was eating her favorite choco pop. Seras felt like ripping off Alucard's head and giving it to Integra as a birthday present. His head would go nicely with all the other hunted animal heads Integra was collecting.
"What took you so long, Police Girl?" Alucard asked snidely as he gulped down the rest of his ice cream cone. He was dressed in dark black jeans, a neat white dress shirt with the ever present Hellsing signature tie, and a leather jacket. Seras fumed.
"MASTER!!!!"
-Ch3- --
I missed my ice cream. I might miss my class. He made fun of my outfit and said my face looks like many tomatoes in mating season, when I'm angry. Seras put her face in her hands. Why is Sir Integra so cruel??! Why did she have to make him be the one who supervised me?!
-Ch3-
Miles away . . .
Integra sat in her comfy leather chair with her feet propped neatly on her desk. She smoked a cigar, slowly inhaling it's fragrance. He body, for once, was relaxed, and her mind was placid.
"I hope you don't hate me, Seras. It was the only way to get that annoying vampire – Alucard- away from me," Integra talked to no one in particular as she continued to relax, I mean actually relax. No more bored Alucard playing a prank on her. No more secret visits. No more annoying comments. At least . . .for three WHOLE peaceful hours. Integra wasn't the only one enjoying Alucard's absence. The rest of the Hellsing organization was practically jumping from joy. Walter included.
-Ch3-
Alucard stared at his fledgling. She was holding her head in her hands and groaning. Of course, naturally he read her mind and grinned.
My little fledgling . . . the fun has only begun . . .
-Ch3-
When Alucard and Seras finally arrived at the school, Seras practically flew out of the limo. Alucard laughed.
"So eager Police Girl?" But Seras was already too far to hear. She was already at the door and was presently caught in a sea of procrastinating students as they all at once tried to enter the school and avoid being late for their first class.
Where am I? Haven't I passed that shirt before? I know I have. Wait. I don't think my feet are moving! I'm floating??? No that can't be! Where's north? I can't even see the bloody door!! Seras' thought process grew even more frantic as her desire to be on time, and thus show herself to be a worthy student, kept growing.
Calmly, Alucard strode out of the limo. Because of his height, he could navigate through the herd of students much faster and better than Seras could. Alucard used his might to plow through the students, not giving much thought if he knocked one over while stepping on another.
What am I going to do?! And Alucard is NO where to be seen! I mean, I THINK I can see a tall vampire wearing a red trench-coat . . .Seras' eyes widened. Oh hell! He's not wearing that! What am I to do?! An arm wrapped around her waist and gently lifted her up. What the blood hell?! Seras practically screamed in her head as she was now literally carried somewhere.
Calm down, Police Girl. I'm merely attempting to stop you from being trampled on. Let's face it – you're as short as they come. Besides, you were 'floating' toward the janitor's closet. Of course, if you wish, you and I can visit it together later if you'd like.
Seras reddened. Either from anger or from embarrassment, she couldn't tell. Seras couldn't decide whether to bite her master or her tongue. Wait? Did I just think of BITING someone? Seras groaned. Maybe I am more in-tune with my vampire side than I thought. . .
Alucard didn't respond. He merely grinned his evil grin.
-Ch3-
When the two vampires finally managed to get inside the classroom, the two of them went straight to two empty desks. They got two seats in the middle.
Hell. The back seats are taken. I wonder what Master Integra would think if I threw the students out of their seats . . .
Damn. The front seats are taken. Seras glanced at Alucard. I hope he's not thinking of doing something that would get the two of us in trouble.
Alucard gave an exasperated sigh. At least we get the middle seats. I hate sitting in the front. I HATE being out in the day. Both Alucard and Seras sat down and waited for class to begin. One was excited to learn about how to drive, while the other was excited to get this opportunity to think of another prank to play on Integra.
-Ch3-
"Good morning, class. I'm your teacher, Mr. Haggis[2]". By the division of the answers, one could easily tell that the class was made of many different groups of people. One group enthusiastically said "Good Morning" back to their new teacher. These were the actual "students". Another group took this as a cue to start sleeping – these were the professional slackers. Yet another group ginned at the teacher's name and in their heads many jokes were already forming – these were the wise-asses. Of course, while Seras was inclining toward the "students", Alucard was inclining towards the "wise-asses".
This is so exciting! I wonder what we're going to learn about first! Maybe we'll watch a video or . . .—
"Alright, lot, the first thing you will receive will be your blue folderellos[3]," Mr. Haggis casually informed the class as bright blue folders were passed around. Seras' opened her folder as soon as she got it, while Alucard just glanced at it and then continued planning his prank on Integra.
"Alright, then. Inside you will find a white folder. You must place the following things in this folder in order to get your driver's permit: Your birth certificate, social security number, ID card, passport, and the other three documents – the red, green and yellow papers in your folder – which must be signed. Have all this ready by tomorrow."
Tomorrow!? Seras quickly sat up straight. But. . . but half of those things are in my house in Bath!! Damn! How am I going to get them that fast for tomorrow Seras put her head in her hands.
"And now class, we will start the day off with an exciting test-ero. Your answer sheets are in your folders – the big white packets. Turn to Lesson one". Seras squeaked.
TEST?! Nobody warned me about a TEST!! I didn't study – what if I fail? I'll never get my driver's permit, I'll never get a driver's license, I'll –
"Here you go miss. Get started; you only have half an hour," Mr. Haggis calmly stated as he handed her a test. Seras looked at it before opening to lesson one in her packet.
Eighty questions? EIGHTY questions in half an hour!? This is bloody ridiculous!! Seras groaned. Somehow this reminded her when Fergasson first tutored her on her mission. And THAT didn't go very well, considering the fact that she failed on her first mission anyway.
-Ch3-
A…A…A…A…A…A…A…And Another A for 'Alucard'. A… A…A…Alucard continued to fill in his answer sheet with the same letter. Over…and over…again.
Ummm ok this one is A! No that can't be it! I'm not doing so well on time here!! Seras continued to panic as she filled in her answer sheet. Alucard casually glanced over at Seras' sheet.
Hmmm starting from #50: A B A D B A D B A D B A D B A D…
"Alright class, put your pencils down. The tests are over," Mr. Haggis calmly stated as some of his students' heads darted up in fear, others went down in sleepiness, while others looked up casually.
"Alright lassies and laddies you now have ten minutes break. Be back or else you're counted tardy and you'll have to take this class AGAIN some other time."
Alucard quickly got up and started for the door. Seras looked down at her almost filled answer sheet. She sighed, deciding that it's not good if she cheated and continued. She flipped hers over and casually looked at Alucard's.
What the bloody HELL?! All of his answers are the same letter!! Wait a minute . . .Seras flipped her answer sheet over again and compared it to Alucard's. Hey!! He copied me from #50 to #65!!! Damn bastard.
"Police Girl, you wouldn't be cheating by any chance would you?" Alucard calmly stated. Fuming, Seras glared at Alucard. She was glad her teacher had stepped out of the room and didn't hear Alucard. Who knows what he would have done to her if he believed Alucard's accusation?
"I cheated?! You're the one who copied my answers!!" Seras blurted out.
"I did no such thing. Our same answers are merely coincidence," Alucard stretched his back before proceeding out the door – with Seras hot on his heels.
"MASTER! Cheating isn't going to get you anywhere! Why'd you have to look at my paper anyway?!"
"Because the rest of them are even stupider than you are".
"Wait a minute – that's an insult!"
"Well done, Police Girl!"
"MASTER!!!" Their voices continued to drift down the hall.
-Ch3-
Footnotes:
[1]: A pun!! Get it?! Alucard is dead and well . . .umm yeah . . .not my best use of the English language! :(
[2] Yes, I AM aware that "haggis" is a type of famous Scottish food. My driver's ed teacher's name always reminded me of "haggis" every time some one said his actual name.
[3] No, this is NOT a grammar error. If you are checking for grammar errors, skip Mr. Haggis' speech because he, like my teacher, made a lot of mistakes and made up a lot of words because he felt like it.
-Ch3-
Did anyone realize that I used British spelling?! TomatoEs!!! Go me!! I actually had to learn to spell the "British way" when I lived in England. I still do spell most things "wrong" since I live in America now. Woohoo!! Another chapter completed!! I hope you like!! Reviews and strong criticisms are welcome!!! :)
-Ch3-
Seras: Right! In the next chapter Alucard and I . . .
Halconnen Fairy: Run through the pretty fields of flowers and eat candy corn. . .
Seras: -throbbing nerve- Why the bloody hell are you here?!
Alexander Anderson: Tae rid the E'rth of all the eavils that dweal in et.
Seras: -screams bloody murder-
Integra: Alucard!!
Alucard: Walter.
Walter: Sir Integra!
Integra: Alucard! I want Paladin Alexander Anderson out of MY country NOW!!
Alucard: Walter. . .I'm thirsty, do you have any medicated blood?
Walter: Sir Integra! Yelling and smoking at the same time is bad for your health!
Seras: -sighs- Will the lot of you please be quiet so that I can tell everyone what happens in the next chapter?
Everyone (but Seras and A.A.): NO!
Alexander Anderson: Nae.
Seras: -sighs dejectedly as the rest continue bickering and yelling at each other- Thank you for all the reviews.