SACRIFICES

by LetitiaRichards

Previously:

"Way ahead of you Colonel," Jack said, his mind already filling up with ideas for putting together a rescue mission. Daniel was alive! He had to go there. This was one mission he could not miss, despite being the Commander of the SGC, he wasn't going to sit behind the glass of the control room and wait for their return; he had to be there; to be a part of Daniel's rescue.

---end of flashback---

Chapter 2

2010

"Jack?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

Jack shook off his morbid remembrances and nodded. Covering Sam's hand with his where it rested on his arm, he smiled, rather sadly, blinking away more of the unshed tears.

"Yeah. I...I just can't help thinking about what went wrong on the rescue mission. How I...how I completely blew it that time."

Sam squeezed his arm, giving him a little reassurance.

"You didn't blow it Jack. That wasn't your fault. It doesn't matter any more my love," she said, reaching up to caress his cheek. "Daniel will understand, I'm sure. Any minute now we'll see him for ourselves." She gently shook his arm, confirming her excitement. "It's been so long now, I can hardly believe it's been almost ten years since we thought we had lost him."

She sucked in a shuddering breath that told of her nervousness and Jack shook himself again and tried to look happy for her sake. If the truth were told, he felt more nervous than his wife did. He couldn't help wondering if Daniel could actually forgive them for leaving him behind. Okay...that Daniel could forgive HIM for leaving him behind that day would be more to the point, Jack sighed.

Jack's inner turmoil at the thought of coming face to face with Daniel was making him nauseous, but he kept that to himself, because suddenly there was a commotion down in the control room and the moment was upon them.

Sam jumped up from her seat, her hand still on Jack's arm as she took up a position to one side of him, so that he could still see.

Brigadier General Paul Davis entered the room with Daniel following on behind.

Jack couldn't help flinch when he caught sight of his former friend. Daniel was thin, his skin sallow, and scarred over what he could see of his former handsome face. He walked with a pronounced limp in a sort of shuffle, a silver tipped wooden walking cane helping him to keep his balance; one hand tucked into his side pocket, away from curious eyes.

Jack took in every detail and found himself wanting. Wanting to take away the pain of those ten years. Wanting absolution for his mistakes. Wanting to show his friend, that he had tried his best, but knowing nothing he said would be good enough to cleanse the deep ache inside Daniel's broken psyche or his shattered heart, where once his friends were held dear to him. Jack could see the anger burning in those bright blue eyes behind the ubiquitous gold framed glasses as they took in the scene in front of him, but those once passionate eyes refused to meet with his now.

Daniel shook hands with General Landry and sat at the table opposite him, ignoring his so called friends. His former friends.

Sam's sob made Jack reach out for her, but she escaped his grasp and headed towards her old team-mate. Throwing herself onto her knees at his feet she flung her arms around his neck, crying and burying her head in his shoulder, telling him that she was so happy to see him again.

Daniel responded half-heartedly which angered Jack more than any words could have done. This wasn't Sam's fault; none of this was her fault.

Sam felt the iciness in Daniel's stiff embrace and backed off, feeling fresh tears welling behind her eyes in sadness for what had been done to him to make him feel this way about his friends.

"I'm so sorry Daniel," she whispered brokenly, before re-taking her seat next to Jack.

Jack reached out to her, wiping away her tears, glaring dangerously at the man for upsetting his wife, when all she had done was welcome him back.

"Daniel..." he spat, but Daniel forestalled him, holding his hand up to stop the expected tirade whilst still not making eye contact.

"Jack! Just don't! I don't wanna hear it!"

"If you have to blame anyone Daniel, then blame me. I was in charge of that mission..." Jack persisted.

Daniel closed his eyes against the words he didn't want to hear.

"I don't give a damn who was in charge of the god-damn mission Jack! You left me behind!" he snapped angrily. "All of you!"

"Jack was wounded Daniel," Sam flew to defend Jack's actions or lack of. "Teal'c tried to reach you but was forced back by enemy fire."

"And what about you?" Daniel accused Sam angrily. "You were too busy helping Jack, is that it? Jack rather than me? He was already at the gate!"

Sam was stunned by the accusation and couldn't answer for a moment.

"Don't you dare lay this on her Daniel. I told you I was to blame," Jack shot back in absolute rage.

"Oh, I'm quite happy to blame you Jack. Whatever happened to 'nobody gets left behind!' huh? I got left behind. Me. Daniel Jackson. Big time loser." Daniel reigned in his temper with difficulty, but he hadn't finished there. "You spent four stinking months in an Iraqi prison Jack and you think that was bad? I spent ten !#! years of my life rotting in a hell hole and no-one, not one of you came back for me! Not once in ten years." he yelled, now standing up and leaning over the table with his good hand towards Jack who looked away sadly and hadn't attempted to rise to the challenge in his eyes.

"We did Daniel," Jack replied softly, comforting his wife as she quietly sobbed into his chest. "Teal'c gave his life to rescue you. We all made sacrifices that day."

"When?" Daniel demanded. It was the first he'd heard of an attempt to rescue him.

Sam rose up in anger and hurt coloured her voice as she informed her old team-mate of the incident that had robbed her of another friend, and had spelled the end of SG-1.

"We tried Daniel. God knows we tried," she cried. "Teal'c was protecting Jack when he was shot down and killed. There was nothing anyone of us could do."

Sam took a moment to gather her courage and continued before Daniel could stop her.

"Jack tried his best Daniel. He gave everything to get you back that day; sacrificed everything..."

Jack didn't remember much about what happened after getting hit by enemy fire. He recalled Teal'c dragging him back towards the gate, but after that everything was a blank.

"Sam! No. Leave it. Daniel obviously doesn't want to hear about it," Jack sighed in resignation. "It's too late for that now. Leave it be. For what it's worth Daniel I'm sorry. More than you'll ever know."

"Then why don't I believe you. One stinking attempt at a rescue? In ten stinking years? That's a lousy way of showing how much you cared Jack! At least Sam had the decency to get off her ass and greet me; you haven't even attempted to welcome me home; you can't even look me in the eye. Well, you know what? Don't bother Jack. I guess this is goodbye and thanks for nothing!" Daniel was more than angry; he was royally pissed at those he'd trusted to rescue him but never came.

"Daniel. No. You don't understand..." Sam cried after him, but he wouldn't listen to her pleas. He stood awkwardly and stalked from the room. Leaving Sam in tears and Jack hanging his head in shame and sadness.

"You should have told him Jack. He would have understood," she cried.

"It doesn't matter any more Sam. We all have to live with our choices.

OoOoOoOoO

2023

Daniel had made himself as good a life as possible, or at least one as good as one could being handicapped. His imprisonment had left him with one huge chip on his shoulder, making him shy away from anyone who tried to become a close friend. In the end he became a lonely old man. He'd got himself a job teaching languages at a high school in Denver where he'd made his home, and now in his retirement he had nothing to show for those long lonely years, except regrets.

He'd been disabled from years of endless torture at the hands of a sadistic tribe of advanced natives far away on a remote planet, though he could never tell anyone that. He'd survived against all the odds stacked against him, but at a cost.

Here he was a grumpy old man with no family through his own bitterness, afraid of pity and anyone getting too close to his heart, so they wouldn't end up breaking it, like Jack and Sam had done all those years ago. After his team-mates had wormed their way into it, and had betrayed his trust in them so drastically, he refused to be drawn into a relationship again.

Just because he didn't want to know his former colleagues, it still didn't stop his curiosity about them over the intervening years. He often wondered what had happened to his ex-friends, despite the fact that he had deliberately cut himself off from them. It was obvious to him even back then, that Sam and Jack had married. He'd read in the paper about their eldest son, Jacob George O'Neill, winning a prize for science in high school and then had been accepted into the U.S.A.F Academy in Colorado Springs; proud to follow in his parents' footsteps.

There was a picture of Sam, Jacob, and a younger girl aged about 14, whom Daniel thought must be their daughter as she was the image of Sam, taken on Jacob's first day at the Academy. He didn't know where Jack was when the photograph was taken. He had to be somewhere nearby, Jack wouldn't have missed that occasion for anything. He did read that Jack had long ago retired from the service and Sam was still working part time as a civilian consultant at Cheyenne Mountain.

A few months later he was reading the local newspaper when he discovered that their younger son, Daniel Jonathon O'Neill, had just been chosen to play in the NHL for the Avalanche, one of the youngest to do so, which Daniel knew must have made Jack excessively proud. He could just imagine Jack haring round the ice rink having fun teaching his offspring how to play hockey when they were no higher than a grasshopper. He actually smiled as he thought about how much they would have enjoyed playing games with their father. Jack would have been great with them.

The name that Jack and Sam had chosen for their younger son had stunned him into wondering if he had been right all those years ago to shun them. The boy was born when he was still missing, after their failed rescue attempt. Maybe it was time to make amends after all.

TBC