Disclaimer
See previous chapter. We're too lazy to type it again. Besides, a disclaimer should apply to the whole fic, not just one chapter.
The Crossover of Insanity
Part I The Start of an Odd Summer Break
Chapter 2 She Chose!
by AEC1990 and BlacVlvtn
A laser flashed as the house melted in a mess of red goo and smoke. "He found out how to work the laser!" shouted the kid before screaming. Fortunately, his mother scooped him up and ran away with him in her arms.
"Memo to self," Seto mused, "return contraption and buy kid a new house."
He continued on his way to the bank to exchange currencies.
At HEB, the dark moon Senchi and the king of game's hikari had finished their grocery shopping. Ash stood in front of the door to the ladies' room calling to the two she knew would be locked in. "Mandy, Kurama, the fangirls are gone and it's time to take the groceries back to the apartment, so get out! " she called. "Oh, and Mandy, remember last night's threat? If you don't come out, I will carry through with it."
"Fine!" Mandy said as she opened the door. "Just don't lock me up with the Kuwabaka!"
The two emerged from the bathroom, but Kurama was no longer a girl, as he had been when he had been locked in the bathroom. "Good," Ash said. "Now why don't you tell us exactly why Kurama's a guy again?"
"I stuck his head under the faucet and turned it on," said Mandy, thinking it obvious.
"And, why did you do that while in the girls' restroom?"
"Well, where was I supposed to do it?" answered the Senchi of the Dog Star, clueless.
"Think about it." Ash sighed. "Is there supposed to be guys in the girl's bathroom."
"Well, yeah, but there's not supposed to be girls in the guys' bathroom either, and when we went in we were both girls. Made sense to me," she answered.
"Yes, but guys can't leave the girl's bathroom either. It just doesn't make sense for a girl to enter the bathroom and a guy to leave it; either way, he was in the bathroom as a guy."
Mandy was starting to get confused. "Ow… you gave me a headache!" She clutched her head in agony.
Kurama put his arm around Mandy's shoulders before telling Ash not to give Mandy a migraine. Ash, surprised that the red-head knew her name inquired into this. The kitsune told her that Mandy had told him. Ash, thinking he was still afraid of Mandy, mentioned her thought. Kurama told Ash that he thought Mandy was actually quite pathetic. Mandy then informed Kurama that she wasn't deaf before complaining that her head still hurt and asking for Tylenol.
Ash, still thinking Kurama's sudden change in attitude towards Mandy not entirely possible, asked Mandy, "What did you do? No one can go from being scared to the point they won't move to being brave enough to talk to the person who frightened them in one night without any influence of any kind!"
"I didn't do anything!" Mandy defended herself.
"I told you, she's just pathetic," Kurama stated.
"What did she do?" Ash asked again, still not trusting the answers she was given.
Mandy burst into tears after saying, "I didn't do anything!"
Kurama pointed at Mandy saying "And that's about it" before sweat dropping. Blac: Yes you did. Congrats!
"I don't think it's possible to cry for three hours," Ash stated, her disbelief plain in her voice
"Well, no, but let's just say I saw her vulnerable side," said Kurama.
Suddenly Ash noticed something odd in the store. "Why is Shrek in HEB?" she asked.
Mandy looked up and asked, "Shrek? Where?"
"Behind you, by the entrance," Ash pointed.
"That's a poster…" Mandy said.
"I know, but why is it here of all places?"
Three hours later, the four had returned to the hotel find themselves in the midst of chaos.
"Aa-ash," Misti complained. "You left my brother in Japan, can you go get him?"
"Yes, I have the physical ability to go get him, but—" Ash started.
"Would ya please go get him? Pa-leeeze?" Misti begged.
Ash glared for a moment before consenting with a sharp "Fine!" She disappeared with a puff of smoke to reappear minutes later in same fashion with Ryou Bakura. Misti glomped her brother and pulled on the Millennium Ring playfully showing her happiness at having her twin, her other half, back in her company. Unfortunately, Ryou didn't share her happiness. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he knew the thief king would probably notice Misti's Senchi powers sooner if they stayed in such close confines, and it was likely that Misti could probably be as good of a host to Bakura as Ryou was. Blac: I think so, provided everyone knows the thief king's name is Bakura.
"Where's Tristan?" Joey demanded. "I must tell Tristan about today and vent my anger and such!"
"Find some other way to vent your feelings!" Ash snapped. "It's bad enough as it is!"
Ash started ticking off her annoyances with each of the members of the group without actually mentioning their names, every once in a while muttering something unheard that didn't necessarily seem to be one of her list of grievances ending her list with a groan of anger and a shout of "I am NOT going to get that-that monkey boy!"
"Who are you calling an insensitive jerk!" Seto asked, entering a foul mood himself.
"Why, Mr. Kaiba, I believe I called you an insensitive jerk," answered Ash in a tone of mock-sweetness before continuing, "During the Battle City semi-finals, when Joey was attacked by Ra, he needed professional help in a real hospital. You cared more about your little tournament and regaining the title of king of games that you did not even consider the fact that Joey might die! How often do you even think about people outside your immediate family!"
"Hey!" Joey complained. "Why are you calling me a jerk?"
"You want me to reconsider?" Ash asked with the same tone of mock-sweetness she had used before.
"Yeah!" Joey answered defiantly.
"Okay, you're a know-nothing twit," she said "Is that better?"
Yugi, noticing Ash's anger pulled her aside and asked her to calm down. She exhaled slowly and apologized for her rude actions before sighing. Yugi noticed this and quietly asked if something was bothering her. He tilted her head up to look at him. His eyes were full of concern. Ash told him that she was fine and that she was just feeling a little bit under the weather. Yugi apologized, but Ash was quick to reprimand him for apologizing for something that was not his fault.
"It seemed as though you were having a pleasant time at HEB," Yugi said, smirking.
Ash looked strained. "I… I just don't feel well at the moment… Racing around and constant confusion is not fun… It's frustrating. I just needed to vent some anger," She didn't quite meet Yugi's eyes when she said this, but she then continued, "I'm not going to go get Tristan unless you give me a very good reason to get him. It takes too much energy teleporting multiple times in one hour." She glanced at the wall clock and said something about going home.
"I'll take you," Yugi offered.
"Thanks, Yugi," replied Ash.
Just before Ash and Yugi left, Yusuke asked about Rei-Hiei's whereabouts. Mandy started to beam for no reason as she said, "A bunch of fan girls carried him off."
At seven AM that Saturday, about 4 days later, Ash sat on the floor in front of an entertainment center housing a television tuned into the local Warner Brothers station, which was running its Kids WB section which was currently airing an all-morning long Yu-Gi-Oh! marathon. A knock was heard at the door just as the show was going to a commercial. Ash stood and opened the door to find that Yugi had come for a visit. After the door slammed shut, Ash shoved Yugi onto the floor in front of the TV telling him something about watching the Yu-Gi-Oh! marathon. Yugi was severely shocked by the fact that he and his friends were the main characters. As the show went to another commercial break, a squeal could be heard issuing from the next room followed by Mandy's shouts of "Omigod, omigod, it's Yoko!"
"I must find out what insanity is going on in there," Ash said before walking into the other room to see Mandy hugging a television monitor with a picture of Yoko Kurama on the screen.
Kurama, who was sitting on the lower bunk of Ash's sibling's bed behind Mandy, said, "You really need to choose…"
"Maybe I'll choose if you transform for me!" Mandy answered with a mischevious smile
"NO!" Kurama near-shouted.
Mandy let go of the TV and stared at the kitsune with puppy-dog eyes. "Pwease?"
"I don't want him to kill anyone…" Kurama replied seriously. "Especially not you."
"Awwww, you're so sweet…" said Mandy. "NOW TRANSFORM DAMMIT!"
Some time during the conversation between Kurama and Mandy, Ash had transformed into Sailor New Moon. New Moon offered to try to keep Kurama from killing anything while in Yoko form. Kurama inquired on how the Senchi of the dark moon would be able to keep a demon from killing anything. New Moon simply pointed out her Senchi abilities.
"Pretty please with sugar on top?" begged Mandy "And sprinkles? And whipped cream? And a cherry?" A/N: That sounds more like a sundae that a begging. --;;
Kurama again asked if New Moon was sure she could keep Youko from killing anyone while holding Mandy protectively. New Moon told him that there was no way she could give him an accurate answer on the fact that she know nothing about Yoko Kurama, but she did, again, mention her Senchi abilities. Kurama finally agreed to transform before warning that he wouldn't be able to return to his human form until Yoko decided he wanted to return. New Moon then inquired on the effect of sending Yoko to the moon. Kurama answered the question with the answer being death. New Moon asked what made him sure of his answer. Kurama pointed out that there was no oxygen in outer space and a few other factors. New Moon then inquired on how there could have once been a kingdom on the moon. Mandy then jumped in with an answer: "Because mooninites built it!" A/N: We don't own mooninites either. They are taken from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, which we also don't own.
"Are you calling me a 'mooninite?'" asked the dark moon Senchi.
"I dunno, are you a mooninite?" Mandy replied.
New Moon answered with a random fact about her past life. Mandy then answered, "Then you're a moononite! You should be proud."
"Then are you a 'Sirius-o-nite?'" New Moon laughed.
"Yes!"
"Then what am I?" asked Kurama.
Mandy answered, "You're a… um… I'm not sure…"
New Moon made a comment on the similarities between youma and demons before inquiring on the Senchi's ability to breath outside Earth's atmosphere.
"Uh oh… I feel a headache coming on…" Mandy complained before ordering Kurama to transform into Yoko Kurama.
"All right, all right!" Kurama sighed before transforming.
New Moon told Mandy to calm down, but Mandy answered with "But Aa-ash, it's Yoko! He's sooooooo SEXY!"
"Who are you and what do you want?" Yoko demanded before asking, "Do you have anything shiny I can steal?"
"I'm Mandy, and I want YOU!" Never ask a rabid fan girl what she wants.
"Mandy, I thought you were in love with his other form," said New Moon before throwing an ancient coin at the fox demon's head.
"Can I have both?" Mandy asked as Yoko caught the coin. "Hey, my shiny coin!"
New Moon commented on the illegality of double marriage. Mandy countered with a comment about the amount of stuff that is legal in Nevada but not in other places. New Moon eventually offered Mandy ten shiny coins for choosing which of Kurama's forms she would rather have before New Moon counted to ten.
"TEN shiny coins!" Mandy thought VERY hard, "Okay, I'll try…"
"One," Sailor New Moon began counting.
"They're both equally hot and sexy…" Mandy thought aloud.
"Two."
"They're both REALLY smart…"
"Three."
"Yoko's a thief, which is pretty cool…"
"Four."
"But he might try to steal my shiny collection…"
"Five."
"Shuuichi's really sweet and kind…"
"Six."
"Not to mention, he can cook and likes flowers…"
"Seven."
"And he already loves me…"
"Eight."
"Also, I did promise him…"
"Nine."
"I choose…" Mandy started before pausing as a drum roll played somewhere. "Shuuichi!"
New Moon tossed Mandy the coins she had promised her. Mandy expressed her glee as she pulled a foil-wrapped shoebox from subspace and dropped the coins in.
"Hey, I want shiny coins too!" Yoko pouted.
"I already gave you some," New Moon pointed out, "but I do where you can find a shiny apple."
The dark moon Senchi pulled a map from subspace and handed it to the thief who promptly studied it to find the best route to take to find his shiny apple. Once he found the best route, which took quite a few minutes, which New Moon used to tune the television in the room into Yu-Gi-Oh!, the fox demon stood up and strode out the door of the bedroom and through the living room to the door into the apartment. He opened the door and looked around to get a better idea of where he was before plopping down on the couch to make sure his route was accurate.
Yoko stood again as the new episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! was returning from a commercial break. He walked out the front door of the apartment. Mandy followed him shouting, "Hey, I want my Shuuichi back!"
New Moon complained that the show was coming back on and that she wanted to see it. Mandy, then, said something about finding Kurama more important than watching TV. New Moon put a VHS in the VCR and pressed the record button and told Yugi to come along. Yugi transformed into Tuxedo Mirage. Mandy then yelled, "Come back with my Shuuichi!"
They followed the kitsune for five hours until Yoko stopped. The kitsune had found the shiny apple in a small orchard of apple trees. The tree itself had been silver and was giving off a strong magical aura. From the branches of the silver tree, the kitsune gleefully shouted, "I have found the Apple of Shinee!"
"Good for you." New Moon said, yawning. "Now, may we go find somewhere to get a good lunch?"
"Change back, damn you! I want my Shuuichi back!" Mandy shouted at Yoko.
"What do I do with it now?" Yoko mused to himself.
"I'm hungry!" New Moon complained as she leaned against one of the other trees.
Tuxedo Mirage leaned against a tree as well. "I'm hungry too!"
"I want Shuuichi!" Mandy hollered at the tree-borne fox demon.
A few seconds later, New Moon looked in the direction at which Tuxedo Mirage had been leaning against a tree to find that Yugi had de-transformed and switched places with the pharaoh. New Moon greeted Yami Yugi and inquired on the reason of the switch. Atemu simply shrugged and told her that he had no idea why Yugi had decided to return to his soul room.
Yoko jumped from the silver tree landing gracefully a few feet from the trunk. He checked to see if he had harmed the apple in any way. As he turned to walk away, Mandy jumped on his back and started beating him over the head with a mallet she had pulled from subspace shouting "Gimme my Shuuichi!"
Yoko started running around in attempt to throw Mandy off his back, but when it became clear that Mandy would not give up, he asked "Will you stop if I give you my apple?"
New Moon, however, was completely ignoring Mandy and Yoko. She asked the pharaoh if he knew why his high priest's reincarnation was as insensitive as he was. Atemu told the dark moon Senchi that Seto's reason for his insensitivity was not completely known to him but that it may have had something to do with Seto's adoption by Gozaburo.
Mandy started screaming at Yoko. "NO, I DO NOT WANT YOUR STUPID APPLE! NOW GIVE HIM BACK!"
Yoko Kurama, now fed up, changed back to his human form. Kurama instantly took note of his surroundings. "Why are you on my back, and why do I have a shiny apple?"
I'm on your back 'cause I choose you! And Yoko stole the apple," replied Mandy sliding of his back and holding tightly to his arm.
"No, he picked it from the shiny apple tree; there's a difference," said Ash before detransforming. "Now, may we do find something to eat other than shiny apples, which are probably poisonous?"
" Sounds good to me!" said Mandy happily. "How 'bout ramen?"
"Um… Where are we?" asked Kurama.
"I don't know; but if we can decide on a place to go, I can teleport us there," replied Ash.
"I want ramen…" said Mandy.
"I wanna go to Luby's," said Ash.
"Okay, whatever," Mandy replied, "but when we get home, I want ramen!"
"Who's gonna cook it?" asked Ash.
Mandy proudly pointed out Kurama's cooking abilities, and Kurama asked "Why do you take pride in my talents?"
"Well not a lot of guys can, cook can they? I was lucky to get a straight on who knows how," replied Mandy.
"I do not want to make you ramen," Kurama told her.
Mandy made a pouty face and said, "Don't make me smother you in kisses."
"I don't care what kind of threat you make, I am NOT gonna make you ramen," replied Kurama.
"What if I went through with my threat?"
"I still wouldn't make you ramen!"
"Really? Cool!" Mandy tackled Kurama started to smother him in kisses. Kurama made no attempt to stop Mandy.
"And off to Luby's!" said Ash.
Ash proceeded to teleport everyone to the parking lot of a Luby's restaurant. Mandy had yet to stop smothering Kurama with kisses. Bystander Number One asked, "Where'd they come from?"
"I dunno," said Bystander Number Two, "but what is she doing to him?"
"We are numbers!" shouted Bystander Number Three gleefully
"What in the censored existence are you talking about?" demanded Bystander Number Four.
Eight days later, a Sunday, Inuyasha was playing on the television while Mandy was screaming something about ancestry, Raven was working on some weird spell in the kitchen area, Kurama was sitting next to Mandy trying to calm her down, Yugi was trying to teach Ash how to duel, and most everyone else was watching Inuyasha. Raven's spell backfired and Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, and Shippo came out of the TV. Mandy jumped to her feet in excitement. She shouted, "Great Ancestor!"
Inuyasha was taken aback by the girl who claimed to be his descendant. He asked, "Who are you?"
Mandy glomped Inuyasha, who then yelled at her to get off him and called her a stupid girl. This caused Mandy to whimper "But, Great Ancestor…" and start crying.
"Why are you crying?" Kurama asked
Mandy stopped crying and said, "I'm not crying."
Ash looked up and saw the new arrivals. "Who are they and why are they and why are they here?"
"This is my great ancestor, his girlfriend, a perverted monk, a demon exterminator, and a thingy," said Mandy as she pointed to each person in turn "I dunno why they're here."
"Hey, I'm not a thingy! I'm a kitsune!" said Shippo as he crossed his arms angrily.
"Really? So am I! Sort of…" said Kurama
Shippo climbed up Kurama's arm and stared at him in he face before saying, "You don't look like a kitsune, lady."
Mandy, in anger, punched Shippo, sending him flying into the opposite wall. "He's not a lady!"
Miroku looked disgusted. "You mean I groped a guy?"
Kurama's eyes widened "You WHAT!"
"May I banish him before he causes any more trouble?" asked Ash
"Yes, please," answered Mandy.
"Almost, Insane Chocolate Lovers, it's almost done!" announced Raven from the kitchen.
Everyone rushed into the kitchen shouting "FOOD!" Then, the people who would not have normally done that asked, "Why did I just run into the kitchen and shout 'food'?"
"Oh well," Ash shrugged. "Idiotic creature, prepare to spend eternity in a cage in the Sahara Desert with Kuwabaka!"
"No, not Kuwabaka!" Miroku shouted. "Anything but that!"
"Do you even know what a 'Kuwabaka' is?" asked Inuyasha.
"No, but from the way she said it, it couldn't be good," replied Miroku.
Suddenly a black hole appeared to sweep the perverted monk into its grasp and teleport him to the Sahara Desert where he caught his first glimpse of the idiotic male with which he was to spend eternity, or until he could free himself from the accursed cage. Miroku shouted, "Oh no! It's worse than I thought!"
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!" asked the idiot.
Miroku started beating against the cage with his staff shouting for help.
AEC1990: Idiotic computer of disaster! Cut it out!
BlacVlvtn: Hello, and welcome back to Author Discussion Period, the place where we ramble pointlessly.
AEC1990: Characters are allowed! You won't see Ash and Mandy here though… ever. We're Ash and Mandy! Kind of…
BlacVlvtn: AND SCHOOL'S OUT! And I just finished off a candy-bar-ish brownie.
AEC1990: The laptop in Blac's living room is mean…
BlacVlvtn: Yeah, the mouse was screwed up… and quizilla (don't own) was messing with my patience… DAMN 404 ERRORS! attacks 404s and pop-ups with a bazooka
AEC1990: I choose to ignore… Oh! And Harley Quinn uses those things!
BlacVlvtn: finishing off last pop-up What, this bazooka? pop-up splits in two… those two continuing to divide Pop-up mitosis! Kill them! AHHHHHHHHH! practically blows up room with bazooka
AEC1990: BlacVlvtn, destroying pop-ups one window at a time.
BlacVlvtn: You got that right…
AEC1990: Oh, and in the mention of Harley Quinn above, we're not talking about the type of book, we're talking about the Joker's girlfriend. And if you don't know who the Joker is, go watch Batman.(also don't own… heck, we don't own anything)
BlacVlvtn: The psychopath has a girlfriend? shrugs I guess there's somebody for everybody. Except Kuwabaka.
Kuwabara: Hey, what did I do?
BlacVlvtn: You were born. Get back in your cage!
Kuwabara: I hate the cage! Don't make me go back to the cage!
Kage: Did somebody call?
BlacVlvtn: Hey Brandon! glomps Kage
Kage: Get offa me! And my name's not Brandon!
BlacVlvtn: It's what your mommy calls you!
Kage: You don't know my mom.
BlacVlvtn: Sure I do!
Kage: Since when?
BlacVlvtn: Since now.
Kage: What's my mom's name then?
BlacVlvtn: Uhhh… Mrs. Brandon's Mom?
AEC1990: I have nothing to say. I like listening to them fight.
Kage: about to rip Blac's head off
BlacVlvtn: gets bazooka This baby's never failed me!
AEC1990: Be careful Blac, you don't want to spend the rest of your life in prison or be put to death. I'm not entirely sure about the laws about murder.
BlacVlvtn: Actually, more men get the death sentence than women. In the state of Texas anyway.
AEC1990: Okay.
BlacVlvtn: It's statiscally proven.
Kage: 43 of all statistics are worthless.
BlacVlvtn: That's because 50 are made up on the spot… like that one.
Kage: If you don't have anything smart to say, zip it!
BlacVlvtn: Let's go watch The Young & The Restless (don't own).
Kage: No, I don't wanna watch it! I hate soap operas!
BlacVlvtn: Oooh, the TV's on! starts drooling while sitting around TV with all characters and AEC
Kage: sitting behind them on couch with remote I hate this channel… switches to some sort of alien invasion
AEC1990: I could care less!
Lily: attempts to punch Kage but gets blocked every time Damn you!
BlacVlvtn: Gimme the remote!
Kage: Why should I?
BlacVlvtn: Because if you don't I'll dock your salary for a month!
Some character: to readers Kage is Blac's bodyguard.
Rei-Hiei in background: Change it back or I'll slice you open with my katana!
Kage: Salary, channel changer, or life… gives Blac the remote
BlacVlvtn: Good Kage. pats him like a dog and gives him a Kage-treat
Seto: You've got somebody to treat like a dog too! Although I have no idea why he's dating my daughter or why I'm permitting it… Hey Lily, why are you dating the dog?
BlacVlvtn: Because I made her and I told you to permit it! Well actually, you're almost totally oblivious in Lily of the Black Rose.
Lily: What do you mean 'almost'? Almost except for the part where I said I loved Joey?
Joey: When did that happen?
Lily: Um… in the hospital some time after you left. Oh by the way, you left your green jacket there.
Joey: Yeah, I know. Ever wonder why I wasn't wearing it during Battle City?
BlacVlvtn: to readers Lily of the Black Rose is set between the two tournaments. changes channel back to soap
Everybody stares at TV (even AEC!) except Kage, who is looking like he's ready to kill.
AEC1990: Hold on the DVD player's in here! Why don't we watch the Yu Yu Hakusho movie? Anything to get the soap opera off the TV.
BlacVlvtn: Yay! I'll get it! runs off
Kurama: Why's she so excited?
AEC: You're in it. And in scene 6 you bathe in a lake. Blac told me the scene number.
Kurama: --;; Ah, that explains it.
AEC1990: She also likes the various swear words.
BlacVlvtn: returns with DVD Got it! Let's put it in and watch some good ol' animated blood and gore!
AEC1990: I never got to see the outcome of the movie. Can we do that today?
BlacVlvtn: Well considering it's about 2:30 in the morning, according to my cheap 5 dollar watch, I think we can fit it in.
AEC1990: Computer says it's 2:28. Or it did, 2 minutes ago.
Misti: Where did you get a 5 dollar watch?
BlacVlvtn: You got a line! And I got it at WalMart.
Blac's Dad: The Blip Zone!
BlacVlvtn: What are you doing here? I thought you were asleep. (to readers: It's 2:30 AM at Blac's house)
Blac's Dad: I was, but all the random shouting woke me up.
AEC1990: What random shouting? I wouldn't permit random shouting at this hour.
BlacVlvtn: Well, I do have a bazooka.
Blac's Mom: Why do you have a bazooka! (to readers: Blac's mom's a lawyer… tee hee)
AEC1990: I-It was t-to kill the pop-ups! That and threaten Kage.
Blac's Mom: Who's Kage?
Kage: I am, Mrs. Blac's Mom.
Blac's Dad: I thought your name was Brandon.
Kage: vein popping Does it matter?
BlacVlvtn: tries to hide bazooka behind back What bazooka? You just go back to sleep!
Random characters push them back into their room.
Some parent or another: Stop the insanity and go home, all of you!
AEC1990: What about me? I was told I could spend the night!
Other parent: You can stay, the others can't.
END CHAPTER 2 AND PART 1
AEC1990: Hold on a sec, I've got something to say before we go!
BlacVlvtn: All right, but hurry up! I wanna finish off this part!
AEC1990: Thanks to some magic spell Sailor New Moon did recently, Yami has his own body. You'll need to know this before you read the next chapter!