Not a happy chapter, but it will improve in the next and final one.

Come on guys. Please R & R!

SACRIFICES

by LetitiaRichards

Previously:

Daniel hesitated, not knowing what to say to her; he felt unprepared to face her and he could see that underneath that cool, calm exterior was someone who was holding onto her emotions with a tight rein.

"Why Daniel?" she said at last. "Why the hell now?"

Chapter 4

Daniel sighed. What could he say?

"I didn't know Sam. Honestly. I just read about it!" he explained with a grimace.

"You didn't know?" she asked incredulously. "I thought you'd come here to gloat."

"What? Sam!" he gasped, his face screwed up in pain. "I came because I wanted to apologise!" he sighed, waving a lax hand in the air in frustration.

"Why now? You had years Daniel. Thirteen years, and nothing. Not even a card or a phone call."

"I know. I said I'm sorry Sam. I know I'm too late now, but please. I don't want to go on with this between us."

"It's a pity you didn't think of that before Daniel. It is too late for Jack."

Daniel felt bad. Guilt tinged his face with hot flames and he could only repeat his sorrow for leaving it too late.

"He never gave up on that phone call Daniel. He was always expecting your voice on the other end of the line, but it never came. We didn't know where you were or he would have called. Ironically you did what the Goa'uld never could. You broke him Daniel. He was never the same after you walked out that day. I'd find him in his study with tears in his eyes. Tears that you had put there." She broke off to blink back her own tears, but never gave in to them. "He said it was as bad as losing Charlie all over again."

Her words pierced his soul like a sword and his heart ached that he had done this to his friend. Jack the intrepid warrior; the tough hardened soldier he'd stopped from committing suicide so many years ago; the compassionate man who had selflessly taken him in when he had nothing and had been a good friend to him before all of this happened. He alone had done this to him; his repayment for the care and attention Jack had lavished on him, and it hurt, worse than being left behind had.

He guessed after years of looking after Jack she would have to be a stronger woman that she had been. She was tougher, and it showed in her attitude towards him. Anger was still there too, simmering under the surface, and he knew that was his fault.

"He sacrificed one hell of a lot for you and you threw it back in his face. We all did Daniel. SG-1 was finished. Hell, the SGC was never the same afterwards."

Daniel was feeling his own anger rising too, like the crest of a wave, gathering speed until he snapped.

"Sacrifice?" he spat in a fierce whisper, not wanting to be overheard. "He had you; he had, what, three children? I don't call finding happiness through those things a sacrifice!"

Sam's eyes filled with moisture again but she hung onto her dignity and ignored the sting behind them, her lips pursed tightly together to stop a sob escaping.

"I call giving ten years of my life a sacrifice. The last thirteen years have been a walking nightmare." He laughed then, a harsh, bitter laugh, that made Sam shudder. In case you hadn't noticed Sam, I don't exactly look like Prince Charming any more. Do you know what it was like to walk down a street and be stared at? Does...did Jack? For god's sake Sam, everywhere I go, I get ogled at as if I'm a freak."

"Teal'c gave his life for you, so did Jack, and he did know what it was like Daniel, but he learned to live with it. The least you could have done is heard our side of the story. You wouldn't listen though. You didn't want to know what Jack gave to go after you."

"Like what? All I could see when I called round the house just now was prosperity and a well adjusted family. Hardly much of a sacrifice to my way of thinking Sam."

Sam bit her bottom lip, toying with something she wanted to say; to try to explain her their loss.

"Prosperity? Yes Jack had money. Money he'd earned Daniel through his books..."

"Books?" he interrupted. "Comic books more like. Yeah that would be right up his street wouldn't it?"

"Daniel!" she warned and he fell silent under her glare. "After his 'retirement', he wrote books. His pension didn't amount to much when bringing up three children, so he spent a lot of his time writing. Take a few minutes and go visit the Library once in a while Daniel, and look under Aerodynamics, or Astronomy, Engineering or Military Tactics. I think you'll find some of them very interesting."

Daniel's eyes widened at this. He didn't believe Jack had the patience to sit down and write anything so...useful or intelligent.

"He managed to sit down long enough to actually write a book?"

"Several! The Academy actually use one or two to teach tactics in aerial combat scenarios."

"Wow. Guess he wasn't as dumb as he made out then huh?" he snorted.

"Far from it Daniel. He ended up with 2 PhDs., and he actually spoke several languages. He had plenty of time on his hands."

"I'm glad life was so good to him after retirement. Tell me...was it your relationship that made him take retirement? He always vowed never to give up the fight, so were the Goa'uld finally defeated? Or where you pregnant?" he bit back.

"He didn't have a choice Daniel," she snapped, still angry with him, and chose to ignore the last scathing comment. This wasn't the Daniel she and Jack had known. This was a bitter twisted old man who still bore an amazingly huge grudge.

"I, didn't have a choice!"

Sam sighed. This was getting them nowhere.

"Daniel..." she said in a calm and reasonably civil voice. "Come home and let me show you. We can talk about this there. I don't want to fight any more. Not now. Jack would've hated this between us."

Daniel glanced up at her and saw resignation and perhaps a little defeat in her eyes. He stood and waited for her to lead the way.

Sam glanced up at him, not knowing if he was going to go along with her proposal or whether he was leaving altogether.

He held out his hand to her and helped her to stand, then nodded and she led the way out to where she had left her car.

"You know the way, just give me a few moments to get the kids to go out or something."

"Right. I'll be along later," he replied, knowing she had wanted to be alone to gather her thoughts and possibly her strength before facing him again.

He shut the car door for her as she started the engine, then watched her pull away thinking he would just pay a visit into town before he arrived back at the house. He needed to look up something in the Library.

OoOoOoOoO

For the second time Daniel rang the doorbell and it was answered almost immediately by Sam. She stepped back without a word to let him in, then closed it behind him, pointing to the lounge area. With the added extension, it looked different, bigger now but just as pleasant.

A cold wet nose, nudged his hand and he looked down into a grinning face and a wagging tail.

"Rufus, meet Daniel." The dog, a mixture of something Daniel couldn't quite recall, sniffed his fingers, sat down and offered him a paw.

Daniel laughed and shook the offered foot, saying 'Hi'. Rufus, his curiosity sated after a quick lick of Daniel's fingers, returned to his basket by the easy chair, and snuggled down to watch them talk.

"Coffee? Or Beer, or something?" Sam asked when Daniel had chosen the sofa to sit on.

"Em...need you ask?" he said with a shrug.

Sam snorted and disappeared into the kitchen.

In the meantime Daniel cast his eyes around the room. Jack's medals were still in the display case with a few more added, including his General's stars and a Purple Heart, and Daniel wondered why he had gotten it and where. There were other trophies around the room now too, most of which were neatly displayed in a case next to him, so Daniel peered closer. Cups and medals for each of the boys for sports or science and several for Janet as well, not surprisingly for science but also for music too.

He stood and took a step across the room to the fire-place and glanced at the many photographs crowding the mantelshelf. They were mostly of the kids. One or two were of Sam and the kids but there weren't any of Jack which surprised him a lot. Having seen the picture of Jack and Charlie still there among the others he wondered why there wasn't at least one of Jack and his second family.

Sam coughed as she entered, seeing him looking at the pictures. She didn't mind, he was bound to be curious.

Daniel turned, feeling a little embarrassed about appearing nosy.

"I was just..." he waved a hand at the pictures. "Jack must have been very proud of your kids."

"Very. He adored them Daniel, what did you expect?"

"Ah...nothing different really, I guess." He sat down again and accepted the steaming mug from Sam. "They great looking kids," he commented.

"They are," Sam smiled indulgently, inordinately proud of her brood. "They were so good with Jack."

Daniel frowned a little at that. Surely she had meant that Jack was so good with them?

At his frown Sam dropped her head with a sigh, and stared into her coffee.

"Jack never wanted you to know how much he gave to rescue you Daniel, He didn't want your pity, but now he's... now he's gone..." she sniffed, holding back a tear, biting her lip as the thought of Jack's last days was still too fresh; too painful to think about. She drew herself up with a great gulp and wiped an errant tear away before she continued. "Now he can't stop me, let me tell you what he gave for you that day Daniel, then perhaps you can appreciate the sacrifice we all made."

TBC