Garret didn't see what he and Audrey were doing as an affair, even though that's precisely what it was. To Garret, affairs were those heated, purely sexual and deceptive trysts men and women had in the movies. Of course their relationship had a sexual element. There were nights when he couldn't keep his hands off her. But there were other nights too, when they had stayed up for hours sharing their pasts and deciding their futures. It was on those nights in particular that Garret knew for certain that he had found something special in Audrey Jackson.

From the moment he'd met her he'd known she was quite unlike any other woman, but now that their relationship had moved outside professional boundaries Garret was able to define what made her so unique and so easy to fall for. Garret found her brilliantly witty. She could make him laugh in the most intimate and intense situations and could make him smile on the toughest of days. For that trait, Garret was eternally grateful. It felt good to smile again.

On top of her clever charm, Audrey had a deep philosophical side that challenged Garret everyday. Sometimes he'd find her staring into space, lost in thought and when he'd asked her what was on her mind she'd pose questions that made him evaluate his life and examine his role on the world. No one, let alone a lover, had ever made him so aware of himself and his station in life. However it was just when Garret started to ponder his place in the world in general and in Audrey's life specifically did the sparkle of their relationship begin to fade.

She was married and, try as he might, that was one fact that Garret was still struggling to get past. It bothered him enormously that when Audrey wasn't with him, she was with Rodger. It was exactly this line of thinking that initiated their first fight.

x x x x x

With a cigar in one hand and a scotch in the other Garret sat on his balcony blowing smoke rings into the dark and taking the edge off the day. It was cold, as Boston Februarys usually are, but Garret didn't mind in the least. He slouched down in his patio chair and stretched his legs out in front of him. A moment later, Audrey barreled through the apartment door and called for him when she couldn't find him anywhere inside.

"Out here," Garret hollered, hoping she could hear him through the sliding glass door behind him. Seconds later the door was open and Audrey's arms circled around his neck from behind. She planted a quick kiss on his cheek before taking the seat beside him.

"It's freezing out here," she said pulling her jacket tighter around her and folding her arms across her chest for warmth. When Garret didn't respond she turned to him and gave him an inquisitive smile. "You okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," Garret said quietly, turning his gaze back over the balcony rail. Audrey sighed and Garret could tell she thought he was lying. He was of course; he wasn't okay, but wasn't quite sure how to tell her. They sat quietly in the dark for a long time. The silence wasn't uncomfortable but the longer it lasted, the longer Garret had to over think what he wanted to say.

After a few minutes Audrey reached for Garret's cigar and broke the silence.

"I got an embarrassingly large bouquet of roses today," she said taking a puff on his cigar and blowing a plume of smoke straight up into the night. "You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Nope," Garret lied again, "what did the card say?"

"Happy Valentine's Day."

"No name?"

"No name," she confirmed handing the cigar back.

"Maybe you've got a secret admirer," he suggested with a coy smile. Audrey smiled too and Garret hated to see it fade a moment later.

"Rodger was supposed to take me out to dinner tonight," she said, "but one of the guys has a kid in the hospital, so Rodger volunteered to work his shift."

"That was nice of him," Garret said, not knowing what else to say. Rodger was his least favorite subject but it seemed that Audrey felt like she needed to explain why she was away from her husband on the most romantic holiday of the year.

Audrey was quiet again and after a time Garret summoned the courage to reveal what was bothering him. He stayed slouched in his chair, looking out over the sparkling skyline and asked in an even and serious tone, "If I asked you to leave him, would you do it?" Audrey turned quickly in her seat to face him. This was the first time either had mentioned the possibility of ending Audrey's marriage, although Garret had thought of little else in the past few days.

"Is that a hypothetical question or are you really asking me to leave him?"

"I don't know," he admitted

"I can't." Audrey sighed and turned her attention back onto the lights of the city.

"Why not?"

"It would kill him," she said flatly. Garret's frustration bubbled to the surface then and he finally sat up straight in his chair and with a quick twist angled it in Audrey's direction.

"Well it's killing me to know that when you're not with me, you're with him," he reasoned.

"I can't leave him Garret."

"And it doesn't matter to you that it bothers me that you're married?" Garret could hear the anger rising in his voice and willed himself to keep it at bay.

"You knew I was married when you started this," Audrey said, finally turning to face him.

"When I started this?" he scoffed, "I distinctly remember there were two people involved when this started." Audrey shook her head as if Garret was being completely unreasonable.

"It's easy for you to ask me to leave," she explained, "because all you have to do is ask. You don't have to leave anyone."

"You think this is easy for me?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Audrey stood and moved to go inside the apartment, but Garret still had more to say.

"How can we not talk about it?" he asked more aggressively than necessary. "It's in every conversation whether we address it or not. How long do you think I'm going to wait around playing second fiddle?"

"You're not second fiddle Garret," Audrey said quietly as if to ask him how he could ever think such a thing.

"What are you talking about? Of course I am!" Garret said, shouting now, "as long as you're married to him, I'll always be second." Despite his anger Audrey kept her composure.

"Listen," she said calmly, "I know it's hard for you, but you're not the one with a twenty year marriage at stake."

"If you really cared about your marriage you wouldn't be here at all!" Garret snapped. As soon as his words hit her Garret wished he could take them back. Her face fell and she looked as if she might cry.

"Fuck you, Garret," she said flatly. Garret had never heard her curse before but the foul word, coupled with his name was just about the angriest thing Garret had ever heard. "You don't know the first goddamn thing about my marriage," she finished, her features twisted with furious tension. Garret tired to return her gaze, not wanting to be the first to back down, but her eyes were so full of rage and hurt that he had to turn away. When he did, Audrey spun on her heels and stomped angrily through the siding door, slamming it shut behind her with such a force that Garret thought she might have torn it off its track.