Ch.5 The warning

/What good to be in the myth if you don't know you already in that myth./

Cleitus hated himself. He hated himself for not taking what he always want when he had a chance. A young man was totally loss and incapable of defending himself. It was his opportunity to take but he stupid enough to let it pass.

Damn you, Hephaistion. Damn you beautiful eyes which looked at me as I was the one who hurt you badly. It was your king who hurt you and not me. When you would understand that you could not own king's heart. King's heart was bound to his duty and ambition. He would never be yours and he would never fully return your love completely.

Damned me, the black Cleitus, stupid enough to free a young man and left his room when he was totally under your demand. Stupid weakness of mine when he saw pain in Hephaistion's eyes and scared to go forward. Never in his warrior life, he afraid of moving forward to the enemy line. But just these look made him retreat like an amateur soldier. Coward damned me.

Now, he looked at his king, he hated him. Hated his king for being so blind and not conceive how much pain he caused to his poor Hephaistion. His beloved beautiful blue eyes were in agony again and again in the hand of his king. How foolish and selfish his king was for kissing bagoas in front of his army especially in front of Hephaistion. Did you not see the pain in the eyes of your love one? Did you not see the same pain when you married to barbarian girl Roxanne or when you ordered him to leave you for constructing a new town in the middle of nowhere. Even though Hephaistion was so blindly in love with you but he was not blind enough to not see these passionate kiss and these base desires which were not for him. How ignorant of you to underestimated his love for you and compensated him with more power and wealth rather than just simpler love and caring from you, Alexander. Did you know that much of the power you gave your lover, the more dangerous and killing plot was brought up against him. You risked your lover life for your base desire of lust and ambition. Why could you see that you didn't have to conquer the world to be happy or to be complete? The precious thing was right in front of you, the most simple valuable thing, one human loyal soul who you already conquered. How many life a man born to find one true love, you had it but you never see it.

Now, I hated you even more, my king. You ordered me to be a settrap of Bactria. Distant me so far from my home and from the one I love. I knew your black heart. You jealous of me being around your lover. You left him but you also didn't want me to have him, your precious little thing. You jealous of me constantly standing and protecting your lover where you never did. You, Alexander the great, scared to loose your precious little thing to me, Cleitus the black. You would pay for it, the great king, you would pay for your base desire of possess your lover. Without me, who will protect your little precious thing.

I warned you Alexander, my king, one last time as I promised to my king Phillip and to my beautiful blue eyes that I will always protect you. Woke up from your arrogant, ignorant and be content for what you already had.

"Never that your father take the barbarian as his friend"

"And know you kissed that Persian boy and take a barbarian childless wife and called our queen"

"Is we not good enough any longer, this army is your blood, boy"

I knew this was the end of me, and I knew I would never see my beautiful blue eyes again. But what price could be paid for loving thing which would I never had.

Even though I, the black Cleitus, was not die as a great general in the battle field defending my land and glory. But, I would gladly die to defend the one who I love devotedly, my beautiful blue eyes, Hephaistion.