Audrey was already in the autopsy room when he rolled in his next case the following afternoon. She'd been scheduled to use the room over three hours ago but had yet to make an incision in the body in front of her. Last night they'd headed to O'Malley's after work. It was Rodger's night off so Audrey couldn't stay long. They'd had one drink and talked long enough afterwards to have two more. Once again, Garret tried to convince her to leave her husband, but Audrey had quickly put I stop to it.
"Garret, I need you to shut up about it for a while, okay?" she'd said with a half smile. "I need to make this decision on my own." Garret nodded in understanding and changed the subject, knowing they were both still thinking about the first. Before she left the bar, Audrey had kissed his whiskered cheek and told him that Rodger would be back at work the following night. Like a child on Christmas Eve, Garret couldn't wait to go to sleep so the next day might come faster. For a moment, things were good again.
Today, as Garret briefed his staff at the morning meeting Garret had searched Audrey's face for that familiar smile, but found it missing. As he doled out cases among his employees, he watched her from the corner of his eye and wondered silently what was wrong. He wanted to believe that she would come to him with her problems but as the day wore on and she stayed buried in her work, Garret realized that perhaps she didn't want his help with whatever was troubling her.
Now, as he saw her under the harsh light of the autopsy room, Audrey looked tired. She had put off her only scheduled autopsy for most of the day and that was quite unlike her. Garret was worried and hated to see her so obviously upset. He wondered if she was upset over something he'd done but when he'd swung into the autopsy room only moment's ago, she'd given him a genuine smile that let him know that wasn't the case.
"What's up?" he asked, hoping for the personal answer but knowing he'd get the professional one.
"I'm not in the mood to autopsy a kid today," she announced with her hands on her hips, her eyes scanning the tiny body before her.
"Are you ever in the mood to autopsy a kid?" Garret asked with his back to her. She thought for a moment a sighed.
"No," she said. "What've you got? I'll trade you." Garret handed her the chart and explained.
"I've got the bastard that hit your kid with his car," he said sadly, thinking to himself what a shame it was for two lives to be wasted as a result of one man's drunken mistake. Audrey turned from the little girl's lifeless body and stood beside Garret. When her arm brushed against his, Garret's stomach tightened and he smiled to himself. Her every touch, no matter how small or insignificant gave him such a childish thrill that he had to keep himself from laughing out loud at his own foolishness.
Audrey looked down at the details on the chart in her gloved hands. Garret noticed her face fall as she read the name. She slapped the clipboard into the center of his chest and pulled the blue sheet from the drunk driver's face. Garret caught the chart as she clamped her hand over her mouth.
"Oh my god," she whispered, moving back slowly from the gurney. Garret only watched her curiously, not knowing why she should have this reaction to the man on the slab. Audrey's trance was broken when she backed into the table behind her. Although she physically stumbled, mentally she came to her senses and darted from the room and took off down the hall.
Still puzzled by her reaction to the man on the gurney, Garret quickly skimmed the chart. He recognized Emmy's handwriting in the space labeled Name. He gasped when he realized just who he was scheduled to autopsy. In bright blue letters, Emmy had written, Rodger Jackson. Garret dropped the chart on the end of the gurney and ran out of the autopsy room to Audrey's office.
When he got there Audrey was sitting on the floor, slumped against her filing cabinet. Lily had obviously seen her storm in and followed close behind. She offered Audrey a tissue and asked her what was wrong, but Audrey only stared blankly past her, tears brimming in her eyes and threatening to spill over. Garret quietly approached the pair.
"Lily, can you give us a second, please?" he asked, the tone of his voice telling her that he wouldn't take no for an answer. Lily nodded and left the office, the door kissing quietly shut behind her. When she had gone, Garret knelt before Audrey and tried to make sense of what had happened in the autopsy room.
"That was," he started, not sure what to say, "That was Rodger? That was your husband?" Audrey nodded slowly and finally looked him in the eyes.
"I killed him, Garret," she said, choking on every syllable as her body was suddenly racked with sobs. Instinctively Garret gathered her in his arms and pressed kisses to the side of her head to calm her.
"What are you talking about?" he asked. Her sobs subsided when he spoke. She untangled herself from his arms and stood, sliding her fingers under her eyes to catch any stray tears. She paced the length of her office twice before she explained, anger and frustration building with every step. Garret stayed at his post, crouched on the floor, confusion and worry written all over his face and tearing at the pit of his stomach.
"Last night," Audrey started finally, "last night when I got home, Rodger was waiting for me." She wiped her nose with her sleeve and lapped her office a few more times before continuing. "He said he knew everything; about me and you. He said he knew from the moment it started."
"H-how-how?" Garret stammered. They had been so careful, he thought, how could he possibly know?
"I don't know." Audrey said quickly, running her fingers roughly through her hair. "He said I changed; that once we moved here I changed. But I don't know how he knew it was you." Garret only shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't deny any of it. I told him everything that had gone on between you and me. I thought that if I just came clean I could make everything okay." Garret nodded slowly when she stopped before him.
"But it wasn't okay," he said quietly.
"No," Audrey said as a few more tears fell from the corners of her eyes. "He said her was going out and that he didn't want me around when he got back." She sniffled again and wiped her eyes as she remembered what happened next. "I packed up a few things and went to my sister's house. He called me on my cell phone but I didn't answer. I couldn't talk to him. Not then anyways." She turned and walked slowly away from him, her face scrunched in contemplation. "That was at about two in the morning," she said after a time, "right after the bars close. He must have crashed the car right after he called me." Her voice trailed off and Garret knew she was running 'what if' scenarios through her head. What if she had picked up the phone? What if she had denied their affair?
Garret stood, remembering what the police had told him about the accident. Like Audrey assumed, it had in fact occurred shortly before three that morning. He moved across the office and reached out to comfort her. She slapped his hand away, as anger rose within her.
"Don't touch me," she snapped. She turned her back to him and was quiet for a long moment, her arms folded across her chest. "Don't you get it?" she asked finally. "We did this. We killed him, Garret." Garret's eyebrows shot upwards. He gripped her shoulder and forced her to face him.
"What?" he asked quickly. Audrey wrenched her body from his grasp and paced her office again.
"He found out what we'd done and he went down to the bar, Garret!" she yelled, her eyes brimming with tears again. "He crashed his car because of us! He died because of us!" She stopped just in front of her desk and was eerily calm for a moment. "That little girl," she said quietly as she remembered who she had been about to autopsy. "Rodger killed her. We killed her."
Then just as suddenly as her had anger subsided, it returned. She grabbed the flowers Garret had sent her for Valentine's Day from the edge of her desk and hurled them across the room with an unintentional grunt of exertion. Garret jumped out of the way as the vase hit the floor beside him, spraying water, glass and roses in every direction.
As if throwing the flowers had taken every ounce of energy she had, Audrey slumped to the floor. She buried her face in her hands, her body convulsing with sobs. Garret reached her in two quick strides. He sat on the floor next to her and wrapped his arms protectively around her. As he rubbed soothing circles onto her back, she burrowed into his chest and clung to him as if she were about to drown. She balled his shirt in her fists and cried until she had nothing left.