Title: So Much For My Happy Ending
Author: R. Tom Mato
Rating: ...PG, prolly PG-13 for angst and depression.
Summary: So, Kyou is locked away. How can he deal?
Warning: Spoilers for 62, 63, and 97. I apologize for not mentioning that sooner.

Notes: Much thanks for all reviews that came my way and for the patience that...most of you, have shown me. ;) I have no plans for abandoning this fic, Akito and Kyou were just being brats and having a glaring contest. They wouldn't do ANYTHING. -sigh-

Part Four

For the rest of the day, he didn't make a sound. He didn't move, didn't sleep. He sat next to the marks that had once meant everything to him, fingers frozen on the impressions in the wood. When dinner came, he didn't even look up, and when the trays were taken away at the end of the day the servant gave him an odd look at sight of the untouched food. The sun set and the shadows invaded his room, reaching out to cover every inch of space. It was a cloudy night and there was no helping light from the stars or the moon this time. They had left him, abandoned him here just like everyone else.

Kyou blinked, his eyes aching from staying open for over an hour since the last moment he managed to pull himself to the surface of his thoughts. If the marks had been wrong, what else was? He'd been trying to keep track of the date and the month so he'd know when his younger cousins would be going to school and when university would start for the older ones. Was he wrong about that as well? But...he couldn't be too far off...the weather...

He couldn't do this. He couldn't stay trapped in here forever, alone, without them...without her. A sudden heaviness fell on his wrist and he lifted it up, just barely seeing the dim outline of his bracelet. The whole reason he was in here was because of what it hid. A little string of blood and bone holding back that thing inside him.

He warily plucked at it, the heavy beads stretching out and snapping back into place as he let go. For hours the clacking of the beads filled the room. Kyou's heart raced, both scared and excited at the thought of what would happen if these beads slipped off of his wrist for even a moment. This room was built to hold in the Cat, but if he let the monster itself loose...let it beat the walls with all its strength...

It was stronger than he was. It could get free! After a while he would change back, he always did after the angry spirit calmed. He was past caring about what would happen between taking off the bracelet and returning to normal. If it meant he'd be free then it would be worth it, he thought as he stood up. His whole body trembled in anticipation...and a little bit of fear. All he had to do was take it off, just slip it off of his wrist and let it fall to the floor. It hated this room, Kyou knew, he could feel that rage inside of him constantly. In every life, this is where it had spent its last days. Locked away but whatever clan head or whoever was in charge then.

His fingers fumbled as he hooked them around two of the beads. Blood and bone, warm and cold at the same time that itched and numbed his skin. It couldn't be done slowly, or his fear would get the better of him. All at once before he could stop himself or that slim chance that Akito would come to 'visit' him. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, a miserable attempt to calm himself and gather his courage.

I'll be free.

He jerked his right arm away from his body, hissing as the beads slid along his wrist, over the back of his hand, and across his fingers. He let it go immediately and a moment later they hit the far wall with a loud clack, then fell to the ground almost soundlessly.

The change hit immediately. His skin burned, from his scalp to the bottom of his feet. It was too dark for him to notice if his vision blurred or if the room spun, but his head still ached. If felt like it would split, and he knew that technically it would. The yukata ripped as his shape stretched and shifted into the form of the cat spirit. The stub of tail shot out from his back and he let out a pained scream, unable to hold it in any longer, but then it was done. He was never so glad for how quickly he changed.

With new eyes he observed the room, his pupils widening to take in every last bit of light. A boiling rage erupted within him as the Cat spirit took in where it was. How it had felt before was nothing compared to the intensity now and he didn't think he could keep it in check anymore. Of course, he didn't want to control it this time. He had to become a bystander, to retreat into his own mind and let the Cat itself take over and do what it thought was best. The spirit seemed to sense this and eagerly helped, rushing to the fore and shoving him back. It was hard to control it under the best of times and his weak will in this instance didn't help at all.

The next events played out like a movie, void of any connecting sensation. His large, clawed hands shot out immediately, stretching the small span of the room to push against both of the walls. They made a dull, muffled sound to Kyou's mind as they hit the wood but he couldn't feel the rough grain under his hands. His legs lashed out, hitting each of the walls in turn with a force that would have broken his own human legs but were nothing for the Cat spirit. Even the barred window took the assault, but hardly squeaked in response.

Harsh breathing filled the room as the Cat stilled. It was surveying everything, trying to find some weak point that hadn't been there in its previous incarnation. Kyou could feel its frustration growing with each passing moment in a detached sort of way. It should have worried him how angry it was becoming, but in this instant he couldn't care. Everything was fading around him as the Cat took more and more control.

Just before his mind blanked, the piercing yowl of the Cat filled the room, loud even to him.

---

Hands on his arms and legs brought Kyou back to consciousness. He didn't have to open his eyes to know that he was back in human form, the return of the heavy weight on his wrist was enough. The thin futon was underneath him and the sounds of birds came only from the direction where the window was. Nothing shattered within him this time, everything was gone. His last hope had failed. All he had to show for it were aching limbs and a headache that made him flinch with every sound of the person that was in the room with him.

Something stung his hand and he jerked away, pulling his tired body into a sitting position and squinting through the harsh daylight at his visitor. The person didn't say anything and didn't try to move near him. Kyou bared his teeth and was about to yell at them to leave when his eyes finally adjusted.

"Hatori?"

No reply came from the doctor's mouth and he had to repeat himself to see if he had actually spoken aloud. Still no reply, but this time Hatori turned away and Kyou looked over his shoulder to see one of the guards standing just inside the room. The usual look of fear and disgust was on his face.

"Tell Akito that the Cat has woken up." the Dragon ordered in his monotoned voice.

He had no need to speak twice; the guard hurried out of the room as though Hatori would change his mind halfway through. Once the footsteps echoed down the hallway and faded altogether, Kyou tried again.

"Hatori, why are you here?"

The doctor fixed a tired glare on him. "Because you just had to try it, and nearly killed yourself in the process," he muttered in a low tone. "Did Kazuma raise you to be this stupid?"

Kyou gaped at the older man for a moment, trying to form a comeback. It was then that he realized just how out of practice he was at conversing with people when they actually talked back. Hatori just shook his head.

"I know you must be getting desperate, but fighting it will only make it worse," he explained. "She's waiting for you to give in."

The response to that didn't even require thought. "Never."

"Then don't go doing foolish things," Hatori snapped. "It will only make life harder for you."

Something in Kyou deflated at the comment. Perhaps it was finally realizing that this was permanent, or that there were no daring rescue plans in the making out there, but the sense of inevitability loomed over him. Everything felt stagnant now; it was completely hopeless. His head dropped, the greasy orange strands falling over his face to block out everything around him.

"If it helps," the Dragon started after a long moment. "Hond--"

"You're done, Hatori."

Neither men dared look up, but their bodies tensed at the voice. Akito stood in the doorway. She was panting softly as though she'd hurried to get here and her black hair clung to her temples from sweat. The guard behind her looked nervous; he'd no doubt gotten a verbal lashing on the way back, either for not coming to get her fast enough or for being too slow in helping her get here.

Hatori stood without a word, not sparing a glance to Kyou, and left. The cat glanced through a small gap in his hair without moving and saw that the doctor was gripping his bag so hard his knuckles were white. He hadn't caught what he'd been about to say, his thoughts dashed by Akito's presence. She moved into the room now, dropping down in front of him and leaning forward with a wide grin, her eyes alight in a way that made his blood run cold.

"Was it worth it?" she asked softly, not bothering to hide the eager tone. "Was it, foolish monster?"

He stayed quiet, keeping his head down. Akito just smirked before reaching out with a finger to draw aside his bangs. It took all his willpower to not jerk away and he still flinched. In spite of her sweat and the hot day her hands were ice cold; a relief to his aching head while sending tremors of fear down his spine.

"I was hoping you'd try it," she went on, uncaring of whether he answered or not. "This way you truly know that you can't escape me. This is your place, the only place you belong now."

Not a word. He couldn't give her the satisfaction. He knew he was stuck here now, that he'd be here until he died. Why couldn't she just leave him alone? Didn't she have enough people to torture out there without coming to visit him? He was the Cat, he was supposed to be ignored, hated, locked away, left behind...

"You're crying!" the exclamation that reached his ears was surprised, but excited. His hair was yanked back harshly and he grit his teeth, meeting her gaze for only a moment before squeezing his eyes shut. "My poor monster, it just hit you, didn't it?"

He tried to shake his head, but Akito still had a firm grip on his hair. Her grating laugh surrounded him and drove all his strength away. He was crying and he hated himself for it.

"Don't worry, tomorrow I'll give you a special treat, if you stay quiet tonight," she told him, voice much softer now as though bribing a child. "But only if you stay quiet. No more causing trouble and waking me up in the middle of the night. I don't like my sleep interrupted."

She let go of his hair and gave him a rough pat on the head, then stood. Without another word she strode out of the room, head held high in triumph and her hand held just noticibally out at her side. Kyou stared after her through the crumpled locks, his eyes still stinging. The only sign of her affect on him was his breathing, which grated in his lungs and filled the small room, louder than his own heart.