COLLATERAL DAMAGE

Eyghon

Author's notes: Sorry for the delay, to make up for it, here is a nine pages chapter, enjoy! Thanks to Lenafan for the corrections and the ideas, you've been very helpful.

Chapter 8: Irina

Peterhof, a few hours later
Irina was sitting on the couch, lost in thoughts. She too needed time for herself. She had to figure out what to do next. Her daughter looked so distraught when she discovered who was hiding behind her captor's mask.

Over the years, Irina thought of a thousands ways to reconnect with her daughter. None of them involved the SVR and Irina kidnapping Sydney. It was supposed to go 'well'…they were supposed to feel warm and fuzzy, not cold and guilty. Sydney wouldn't hate her, but hug her. It was meant to be a wonderful moment of mutual love.

Being here today with her was a heaven-sent opportunity to make up for lost time. She had foolishly hoped they could make up despite the circumstances. She now knew otherwise. Whom was she kidding? She hadn't seen her daughter in twelve years, had abducted her and hoped Sydney would welcome her with open arms! Of course not, but still, a tiny spark of hope remained in her. She would have to see…there were always ways around things. She was an agent for God's sake! There must be something she could do? If only Sydney would listen to her, the possibilities were endless. She trusted her abilities in that domain…she would get her back by talking to her. She would gain her trust back first, and then her love. She would just have to wait for Sydney to ask the questions first, or else her daughter wouldn't believe a word Irina said.

She heard the garage door slam. The sudden noise brought her back to reality. Nikolai fumbled in the kitchen for a minute and went back downstairs. He apparently was trying to avoid any contact with his superior.

Several hours had passed since her heated 'conversation' with Sydney. She got up to check on her, but thought better of it. She needed a strategy, something to say when she would come face to face with her. After a few minutes, Irina came up with a perfect excuse. Sydney hadn't eaten anything in two days. She must be hungry.

When Irina knocked on Sydney's door, she got no answer. She poked her head in to find the room empty. An iron fist clamped itself around her heart. Feeling a light breeze coming from down the corridor, she closed the door and went to the bathroom. The window was wide open. Nikolai joined her.

"What is it?" He asked, curious.

"She's gone," whispered Irina after a moment's hesitation.

"What!" He checked the bedroom, which was indeed, empty. "You left her in there all by herself? We were ordered not to let her out of our sight, Irina," yelled the young man. "I can't believe you didn't at least handcuff her!"

Irina turned sharply towards him. "Don't tell me what to do and not to do. Where were you when it happened? You are as much responsible of her as I am Nikolai!" After a pause, she pulled herself together. "We have to find her before someone sees her." She made her way downstairs, throwing her jacket on to hide her gun.

"She couldn't have gone far in her state," mumbled Nikolai, causing Irina to stop at the door. "What now?"

"I gave her painkillers earlier," confessed Irina.

"Damn it!" He ran out of the door, saying over his shoulder, "Search the house, in case she's trying to fool us!"

Irina did so but the house was empty. She needed to catch Sydney before Nikolai did. God knows, what he would do to punish her for running away. She felt angry and proud at the same time. Angry that Sydney was endangering herself, but proud that she had had the guts to do something…to fight back.
Irina knew she could have chosen not to alert her partner of Sydney's disappearance right away. She could have covered for her, thus giving her a precious advantage…time, but she didn't want her wandering the streets of Peterhof on her own. It was dangerous, suicidal even. There was no way she could make it back home without even an ID. She didn't know where the airport was or how to ask for directions, and she had no money to use a public payphone to call for help.

Actually, her main motivation was rather selfish. Letting Sydney go meant giving up talking to her, to make amends for the past, perhaps even the present. Irina couldn't let that happen; she couldn't just let her run away without explaining. She had waited too long.

Irina ran out of the door, praying she wasn't too late. She had let her baby girl be hurt once. She wouldn't let that happen again, ever.

The house was fairly isolated from the neighbourhood, but not lost in the middle of nowhere. It was nightfall and the heavy rain was not helping the visibility. She couldn't see too far ahead so she took the most logical path. Her daughter was smart so she must have followed the road going down to the city.

A few minutes later, she noticed a tall silhouette moving around the trees. Irina smiled to herself; Sydney was definitely a smart girl. She had chosen to walk through the forest instead of taking the clearing side or the road. It was harder to see her that way.

She tried to approach as discreetly as possible, all the while wondering where Nikolai was. She didn't mean to startle her daughter, but she was spotted when the escapee threw a look over her shoulder to ensure she wasn't followed. Irina broke in a run, successfully avoiding tree branches and deadly roots embedded in the ground. The soil strewn with leaves was slippery; the watery mud embedded in her running shoes was slowing her movements. Irina had seen her running while doing surveillance, so she was not surprised when the girl almost distanced her despite the climatic conditions.

She was still a good fifty meters away when Nikolai came out of nowhere and tackled Sydney from behind. The young woman let out a painful gasp when her already bruised body crashed on the ground.

"No! Let go!" She kicked at him.

The agent turned her around and punched her. He straddled her chest, successfully pinning her down, and started yelling at her, "Where did you think you were going, you little bitch?" He hit her again, splitting her lip, blood spattering her face and the tee.

"Please!" Begged Sydney, whose pleas of mercy were finally heard, but not by her attacker.

"Stop it! Get off of her," ordered Irina, roughly grabbing and shoving him against a tree.

"She deserves a lesson, for making me run after her in the middle of the night!" The young Russian argued in his defense. He stepped forward and pulled Sydney to her feet, intending to deliver a new blow.

Irina grabbed him again and socked him hard in the face, breaking his nose, thus almost causing him to pass out.

"I said stop it! Don't ever disobey my orders again, Nikolai," roared Irina. She turned her attention to her daughter, who was on her knees shaking.

The astonished man made his way back to the house, nursing his bloody nose while mumbling to himself, his pride seriously injured. He would make them pay for humiliating him.

"Sydney? Are you all right? Did he hurt you?" She reached out to cup her daughter's face, who tried to back away, fearing a new blow.

"Sydney," she said, "it's okay, I'm not going to hurt you…" Sydney lowered her head in shame. "Sweetheart, are you alright? Does it hurt?" Irina squatted down to be at her level.

"I don't want to die," sobbed Sydney.

This came as a shock to Irina, who looked at her with wide eyes, stunned.

"What did you say?" She said in an expressionless voice.

"I'm sorry I ran away! Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry!"

"I'm not… Sydney, I'm the one who should be apologizing." How was she supposed to say that? "I'm sorry, I didn't know what he would do…they tricked me…" Irina exhaled; it was neither the time nor the place for explanations. The soaked girl was shivering. She left the house dressed only in the tank top and sweat pants provided by Irina. Irina took her jacket off and put it around her daughter. No need to hide her gun now. No one would dare to go out in the woods in this weather. "Can you stand?" Sydney nodded and let her mother help her up to her feet. Things started to spin as soon as she was on her feet. Irina caught her before she could fall and picked her up in her arms.

"I don't feel good…" mumbled Sydney.

"You haven't eaten anything in two days, I'll fix you something as soon as we get back," replied Irina gently.

They made their way quietly up to the house. Irina had never felt better; her daughter's arm around her neck was the most incredible sensation. After a while, she felt she should say something to reassure Sydney, who seemed to get more and more anxious as they neared the house.

"I'm not mad at you." After a pause, she clarified, "…for running away. I'm just glad you are not injured." Sydney said nothing. Irina stopped walking. "Sydney?" and finally elicited a reaction from her.

"I'm sorry… I heard the door… I was scared, I thought he was coming back to kill me…"

"Who…?" Then it dawned on her, Nikolai. He was the cause of this mess. Too bad her superiors would notice if she killed him. "Oh sweetheart… I'll never let him near you again, I promise." She dared to kiss her on the forehead. Sydney either didn't mind or was too tired to protest. "Come on, let's get you inside."

Peterhof, earlier
Sydney was left alone with her thoughts. She remembered the last time she saw her mother, that night. Laura said she was going out to get some milk, that she would be gone less than an hour. She never came back. A few hours later, two police officers rang the doorbell. Jack was away on business. Sydney was alone in the house.

The neighbour next door was a good friend of the Bristow's. She would notice there were no cars in the driveway and if the lights were on would assume the little girl was alone. She would come by, using her key, or just keep an eye on the house from afar when Laura had errands to run. Mrs. Bristow was never gone more than an hour and knew she could count on Mrs. Perry to watch over Sydney.

Seeing the police car that day, Mrs. Perry came to see what was wrong. They told her about the accident. Sydney stayed with her for the night. Neither Mr. nor Mrs. Bristow had any family in the area. Jack Bristow came home the next day, devastated. He left a few days later and didn't come back for months. Mrs. Perry took care of Sydney as if she were her own child.

How did it happen? How could her mother have just left, pretending to be dead? How someone could do that to the people they love? How could they let them mourn? She felt a tear run down her cheek.

She lost track of time, remembering happier times, memories of a loving, caring mother. She noticed she was wearing clean clothes now. She vaguely remembered losing control of her body while Nikolai was beating her. It had been too much, she couldn't take it and had let go. She went somewhere between conscious and unconscious, it was really weird. She did that once before, the night Mrs. Perry told her that her mother wouldn't come back, ever. She didn't eat, didn't talk for days, even after her father had returned the following day. She had felt numb back then, empty, cold. It was a strange sensation, hard to describe, and she had hoped she would never feel that way again.

A sudden noise startled her. She recognized the ominous slam of the garage door. She had heard it when Nikolai had dragged her down there to beat her. Instinctively she got up, panicked, and looked for a weapon to defend herself. She tried the door out of desperation, knowing it was closed, but it was open. She didn't think much of it. She didn't have time. The bathroom door was wide open, screaming at her to go this way. She could see the moon through the window and only hesitated a second before jumping.

Peterhof, now
Mother and daughter were in the bathroom, with Sydney sitting on the WC's lid.
"Take off your clothes and throw them in the garbage can, I'll go get you something else to wear."

"Okay," said Sydney quietly.

Irina went to her room and fetched a simple black tee shirt and a beige jean. When she came back to the bathroom, Sydney was standing clad in her underwear. Irina's relief at seeing her still here was short lived when she noticed the black and purple bruises adorning her body.

"My God…" She knew the beating was bad, but when she had washed her earlier, the bruises weren't showing yet. She had bandaged cuts and scratches but hadn't realized the extent of the damage. It only stirred up her hate for Nikolai. She would make him pay, whatever the consequences were, she would avenge her baby girl. This 'man' would not live to have children of his own.

Sydney's head snapped up and she tentatively crossed her arms around herself, trying to cover her partial nudity.

"It's fine. Just leave the clothes there, I can dress myself."

The other woman eyes traveled down to her legs, where she was sure she hadn't noticed any kind of mark earlier.

"It's… I fell in the woods," said Sydney by way of explanation.

Irina nodded, "I'll be right outside." She pushed the door on her way out but didn't close it. Sydney got the message. She wasn't trusted. She didn't mind though, she ran away out of sheer panic. Now she knew even if she managed to get out of the house, she wouldn't have anywhere to go. It was like –10°C outside at night and suicidal to hide in the woods or in the streets.

When she was done dressing, she washed her face at the washbowl and came out of the bathroom. Her mother was waiting for her on the other side of the door, as promised. She walked her to her bed, gave her a glass of water and tucked her in.

"I'm going to make you something to eat, I'll be quick."

"Okay… I'll wait here. I won't run away again. I swear."

Irina smiled kindly. "Of course you won't." She picked up a pair of handcuffs from the night table and took hold of her daughter's bandaged wrist.

"Wait! What are you doing?"

"I can't take the chance lives are at stake here, Sydney. It's either that or I'll have to ask Nikolai to watch you."

"Can't I go in the kitchen with you? You can keep an eye on me yourself," asked Sydney, not wanting to be alone, handcuffed to her bed. The prospect of staying alone in her state of vulnerability with Nikolai somewhere near was freaking her out. She felt safe with Irina, but she wasn't about to tell her that. After a pause, she added, "Maybe we can talk while you cook?"

Irina thought about it and agreed. It would be nice to have her daughter by her side while she was cooking. She remembered a time when they would make all sorts of cakes when Sydney didn't have school. She had taught her a few simple duties to help.

"Alright, but put that on, it's chilly downstairs." She handed her a sweater and a pair of slippers.

Sydney was sitting at the kitchen table while her mother was heating some soup in a pan. She took it upon herself to break the awkward silence. She had questions and wanted answers, now. "Why am I here?"

That took Irina by surprise. She turned around and faced Sydney's quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

"What am I doing here, in Russia? Why did you kidnapped me?"

Irina sighed, "I… It's complicated."

"Yeah I got that already. What about Dad? Is it because he did something with the Mafia? Is it why you said there were people following me?"

Irina opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Jack, in the Mafia? How funny! "I… Sydney…" Of course, her daughter still had questions, and Irina had the answers. The problem was to give them without saying too much, without making her look bad. Now that the 'mother part' had been dealt with, it was time to talk 'business'.

"I need to know! Please! I don't understand. It's crazy. Nothing makes any sense, help me!"

"Your father… He's an agent of the US government, a very important one." She was trying to make it simple for Sydney to understand. "The people following you were his people, they were supposed to keep you safe." At that, Sydney snorted and rolled her eyes. Irina smiled. "Trust me; I was not happy when I saw how sloppy they were."

Sydney froze. "Wait, you mean… you saw them? You followed me too?" She asked, incredulous.

"Yes. Nikolai and I have been watching you for a while before… we took you."

"That's… I can't believe it! My dead mother that I haven't seen in twelve years has been stalking me for God knows how long… That's just creepy!"

"It's not like that… I…" She looked away for the moment, trying to gather her thoughts, to find some way to explain. This was her daughter…one she has not seen for twelve years… Usually, she was not one to get confused, no matter what the circumstances were. She wished she could treat this as a business matter, it would be easier. It was not business, for her it was personal, and that is what made it hard to deal with the whole scenario. "The people I work for, they want something he has, but he wouldn't give it to them."

"So you took me… to trade?" It was more of a statement than a question. Irina could practically see the wheels turning in her daughter's head. She was brought out of her thoughts by a loud crash. Sydney's chair was knocked over, the young woman fists clenched at her side. She was trembling. Irina quickly got round the table and fixed her eyes on Sydney's equally dark eyes.

"What is it? Are you feeling all right."

"I can't believe it! All of this… taking me, the surveillance, being nice, letting this creep beat me and now all you're interested in is that thing Dad has," accused Sydney.

"No! I had an opportunity to spend some time with you and I took it. I don't care about this disk."

Sydney's voice lowered. "Who suggested it?" Before Irina's confused look, Sydney clarified, "…to take me? Who came up with the idea? I know Dad never talks about me at work or to anyone actually." Then, more pensively, "his friends don't even know I exist, so how could a foreign agency, whatever you call yourselves, how could they know about me?"

Irina's face whitened, she lowered her head, embarrassed. It wasn't an accusation they weren't there just yet. She had underestimated her daughter; she should have given her more credit. Underestimate your enemy could cost you greatly. Her price would be Sydney's hate. Sydney was not the enemy, though Irina was supposed to see and treat her as such.

"I can't believe it… it was you! It was always you! I should have known, the way you talked to Nikolai, you're his boss…you orchestrated all of this!" She sounded so horrified and outraged; Irina's heart sank for her daughter. She had to do something, to explain, before Sydney came to the wrong conclusions.

"Sydney!" Irina grabbed her by the shoulders, trying to get her to settle down. "It's not what you think. I had to do that, I had to protect your father!"

"Lives are at stake…" Sydney murmured. "That's what you were trying to tell me earlier; you were talking about Dad, weren't you?" Sydney said the realisation dawning on her.

Irina nodded gravely. "Yes."

"Explain. How did that happen? I know how I ended up in this mess but you didn't tell me why exactly."

"Your father is becoming too good at his job, he is getting in the way of powerful people, powerful organisations. He is the prime target." She didn't want to scare Sydney, but she had to make her see the reality of things. She wouldn't understand otherwise. She kept on going, mercilessly. "I discovered there were orders to shoot him on sight. They were sending people after him, whose sole purpose was to kill him. I couldn't let them deprive you of your father after they already took your mother…" At that, she stopped. She had spoken her mind, a mistake.

Sydney's head snapped up.

"What?" She knew what she heard but it didn't make sense. It would mean that her mother was working for the same people when she… died. The first question she meant to ask was why, why did her mother leave her as a child, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. Maybe she feared the answer. Maybe Irina would have told her 'I didn't love you anymore.' Now she would have her answer, though she never asked the question.

Irina was a smart woman and it was no slip of the tongue. She never slipped. Somehow, her unconscious mind expressed itself; she lost control over herself. Maybe it was for the best, or not. Time will tell. Now that the cat was out of the bag, she might as well explain. There was no way Sydney would just let it drop.

Irina took a deep breath and went to the living room, motioning Sydney to follow her. There, she sat on the couch and patted the seat beside her, inviting her daughter to join her. She did so, though hesitantly. Irina took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"It was a long time ago when America and Russia were at war, not shooting war, but cold war and just as deadly. When I was sixteen, the KGB recruited me. They trained me for two years and sent me to America in 1980. I married your father and got pregnant just before the Cold War 'officially' ended. I thought they had forgotten about me, but they hadn't. They called me back and I left."

Sydney was looking at her, open mouthed. Finally, her mind processed the new information and new questions came to her, accusations, "but you could have stayed anyway, you didn't have to leave us, to leave me."

"It's not that simple Sydney. I wish it was," she added with a rueful smile. "They had been after me for two years to leave before I returned."

"What made you decide to leave when you did?" Sydney felt there was more to it than her mother was telling her.

"Do you remember when…it was the last time I took you to the park, the one where you go running now?"

Sydney didn't react to the reminder she was watched and scrutinized everyday. "Yes, of course, it was the last time I got to spend time with you." Her tone was bitter, but she softened as she was reliving the memory. "You bought me a chocolate ice cream, with chocolate chips on it."

Irina was looking at Sydney, a sad smile on her face, seemingly waiting for something, when realisation finally hit Sydney. "The man… you were with a man." She frowned, deep in concentration. "He talked to you and you took me home right after he left."

"He had a message for me." After a pause, she kept on talking, "he had a gun on you Sydney. You were only six years old. I was with you in a public place and he had a gun on you. He could have… hurt you and gotten away with it." She swallowed, "that was the message." She was facing forward, jaw set.

For a few minutes, there was no sound in the room. Sydney was slowly digesting the information while Irina was trying to forget how close she had come to lose her baby girl. She told herself Sydney was fine, that she was right by her side. Actually, she was still holding her hand, unaware she was stroking it.

"I would never hurt you on purpose Sydney. You know that, right?" Irina asked bluntly, eyes pleading for her daughter to believe her.

Sydney didn't know what to answer, startled by the sudden question. She now knew the real story, or a part of it, and felt sad about it. She still felt angry though, and there was no reason for her to spare the other woman's feelings.

"Irina…"

Irina gasped, horrified, and let go of her hand as if burned. She got up and took a few steps back, hurt. Her daughter had called her Irina. Her family affectionately called her 'Rina' while her colleagues and superiors respectfully called her 'Agent Derevko'. Sydney never called her Laura, always 'Mommy'.

Sydney stood up and looked at her, "Did I say something wrong? It's your name, right? Irina?" She didn't notice the pained look on her mother's face.

The woman was tempted to let her defenses back up. It was usually how she dealt with pain, by hiding herself behind walls of steel, behind the persona of Irina Derevko, a cold and ruthless Russian agent. Her daughter's next words dissuaded her from doing so.

"I don't know you. How am I supposed to just 'know' you wouldn't hurt me on purpose?" asked Sydney quietly, her eyes steady on her mother's face.

"You can get to know me again," whispered Irina. When she thought everything was lost, Sydney proved her wrong. She was letting her know she wanted to try, to let her in.

"I would like that," Sydney smiled shyly at her, eyes moist.

They stared at each other for a few moments, neither of them daring to take the first 'physical' step. Irina could see her daughter was uncomfortable and nervous. She cleared her throat and nodded toward the kitchen, "we should go finish dinner."

"Yeah." Sydney nodded emphatically, relieved. She followed her mother to the kitchen and sat at the table while Irina reheated the soup.

The forty-eight hour delay was coming to an end. The disk was safely tucked away in Jack's inside coat pocket. He left in a CIA issued car in the LAX valet parking lot and took a plane to Borisport International Airport in the Ukraine. The man called him on his cell earlier, ordering him to take the next flight for Kiev. He was supposed to call back to give him further instructions.

The CIA had no idea Jack had been contacted, they were still looking for clues in Sydney's kidnapping. They proved highly inefficient until now and Jack couldn't take the risk they would jeopardize the exchange if he involved them. He would do things his way.

It was personal.

TBC