Disclaimer: I do not own X. Clamp does. And what do they do with it anyway! Nothing! Tssk.
Author's Thanks: to my valiant beta Kitsunia who still fails to give up –hugs-. To Lani for helping me with ideas for the fic. You have no idea how much of my current creativity and ability to sit down and write comes from a few MSN chats, thank Lani people for she suffers greatly from me
Author's notes: This is an oneshot. Oh and apparently it came out dirtier then I thought. I have absolutely no explanations or excuses for it…I am greatly sorry.
Boredom's Dangers
Sitting atop her comfy office chair with a steaming tea mug at her side, Kanoe scanned over the papers before her. The Boss had a speech to give in two hours and it was up to her if the speech would go well or not.
The copying machine sounded its little grunt as it copied something in the room just by Kanoe's.
Before her were a few summarizing of the subjects the Boss had to talk about. She was to make small notes of them for the Boss to imbed into his speech. It was an easy job done so many times that Kanoe was sure she could even do it in her sleep.
The copying machine grunted again, and again. Someone must be making double copies of something.
Kanoe had a few dreams about doing the little speech notes, so it can be called 'doing it in her sleep' right? She wondered. That is the featherless kind of dreams. The ones with her in the office in tight leather clothes and a whip and a naked Yutu as her secretary. The pleasant kind of dreams, you know.
The copying machine began grunting and this time it never stopped. On and on it went in its own unique little rhythm of grunting with each mechanical cycle started and finished.
Kanoe raised her eyes from the papers before her. Something must be wrong with the copying machine. Either that or something must be wrong with who's working the copying machine.
Grunt, squeak, rattle, grunt.
Must be that new Hikaru-san lady, the Boss's latest office fling. She wouldn't know how to operate a simple copying machine if the manual hit her on the face!
The machine grunted on while Kanoe thought.
"Tssk"ing out loud most irritably, Kanoe hoped of getting the message through to Hikaru-san that if she needed help with a copying machine gone wrong she should take the few steps from the machine stand to her office and ask for help.
It didn't help and by now the copying machine was sure to have eaten through half the office's paper quota.
Kanoe shot to her feet. She stomped her way to the machine and almost fell to the floor as her body came to a complete surprised halt, which her breakneck high heels did not seem to like.
She shook herself back to coherent thinking and slammed the papers she held in her hands on the little table by the machine stand.
"God damn it /Kamui! How many times have I told you not to use my office supplies to make copies of your butt?"
The leader of the Dragons of Earth, He Who Hunts Down the Authority of God pulled his trousers back on his bare rear end and leaped off the machine with an abused puppy look.
"And I thought I told you not to come up here at all! I have an honest job, a status amongst the workers here, a name to stand up to…why on earth aren't you wearing underwear," Kanoe raved on, simply too overcome by the various things she had to be angry at to talk properly.
"Aw, you know I like going bareback."
"Yes I know /Kamui, I saw some of the pictures they took at some of your basketball matches…" That was actually not too unpleasant. Heck, it wasn't unpleasant at all!
As the gatherer and manager of the Dragons of Earth, Kanoe was granted the Kamui with the masculinity in him. She simply could not complain about that, now could she?
She could complain about the fact that when it came to her/Kamui/ did nothing with this masculinity.
"All I'm saying is that you're bareback in my office and that's just a tad inconvenient."
"Why?"
"Because someone might walk in."
"And…?"
"And they'd think that I've ordered a special delivery of Hot Hunky Bishie with no underwear on the side!"
"And…?"
Kanoe ground her heel into the floor, pulling the strings keeping her sanity from falling down the pit that is talking to /Kamui/ with all her might. "It's just not a proper thing to have around in my status."
"You've had Yutu here. You've had Yutu here."
Kanoe's eyes widened enough to make her resemble her sister "Wha! How do you know about that!"
Fuma shrugged his broad masculine shoulders carelessly "Yutu told me, duh."
"WHAT!"
"Aw come on Kanoe! I'm a guy; he's a guy, running off to tell your mates about it is the 12th commandment!"
"There were only ten commandments /Kamui/…"
"Yeah well, the Dragons of Heaven have a catholic prostitute on their side, my shinken's got some Hebrew gibberish that doesn't make any sense in it's current order and nor will it ever have even if it was in the right order, I can be religiously incorrect as much as I please."
Kanoe now picked the little pile of pages she placed on the table, neatly rolled them into a cylinder and smacked herself on the forehead with them.
Next she smacked Fuma shepherding him thus out of the room, "GET OUT! GET OUT NOW AND NEVER RETURN HERE, EVER!"
Thinking back on it, she quickly made an exact 180 degrees spin (which god only knows how she managed to pull with her heels and the slippery floor) and gathered the copies of her /Kamui/s rear end out of the copying machine's little shelf, all one hundred fifty two of them, and handed them to /Kamui/.
Thinking back on that she immediately turned around again (still balancing perfectly on six-inch-high plastic heels, guess quality really has a price and Kanoe got her money's worth) and chucked the copies down the shredding machine.
"Hey! Why did you do that for," her /Kamui/ whined like the brat he was.
"So you won't hang them all around the lair like you did last time!" She escorted her answer with another smack to Fuma's head and shoved him out of her office, slamming the door immediately after and locking it.
Next she darted over to her phone and tapped the dials so hard she cracked her nail "Ah darn it," she mumbled, staring at her perfect crimson layer of varnish, now with a tiny white zigzagging line through a third of it.
"Kigai-san speaking, how may I help you," the kind smooth voice chirped on the other end of the line.
"You can start by getting your cute little pink clad rear end over here!"
"Kanoe-san! Calling me over so early in the morning? I barely had the time to recover from last night."
"Shut up! I need you right here, right now!"
"I wasn't joking you know…"
"I don't care! Just get yourself in here right now!"
"I obey." Yutu hung up with a relieved sigh. There could only be one explanation to Kanoe's foul mood; those days of the month were coming and that meant that soon he would have his little monthly vacation!
Whistling merrily, Yutu flirted with his boss enough to make her head spin and not notice that it was Yutu's second lunch break that day.
"Ne, Yutu-san, doesn't it itch you?"
"A bit, it does /Kamui/ but I'm used to it."
"You should have the inner side covered with something soft like velvet or felt to take the edge off the leather's bite you know."
"…Why, I've never thought about it, thank you /Kamui/. I'll be sure to do it….by the way, you wouldn't happen to know where such a thing could be done do you?"
"Of course I know where. Have you a pen and paper with you because the directions to the shop are a little bit complicated."
"Of course I have a pen and paper, hang on for a moment please." With his hand halfway into his jacket's inner pocket, Yutu came to realize that he had just casually spoken to /Kamui/ about the convenience of the leather doggy collar Kanoe liked him to wear whenever he dropped by her office.
It's not that he had spoken to his /Kamui/ about such things and actually took a tip from him about it, oh no, Yutu had eyes in his head and a brain behind them to be able to read the exchange of looks between his young /Kamui/ and the Sakurazukamori.
It wasn't the fact that he had admitted that he actually felt kind of uncomfortable running around with the collar at the first place, he was sure that he could smooth his way out of any such an embarrassing topic.
It wasn't the fact that as of late his /Kamui/ was a bit of a loose canon and was declared a menace to society unless he was actually trying to officially wipe it off the face of the planet, Yutu was sure that if /Kamui/ is here by Kanoe's office then it must be about business and /Kamui/'s behaving himself.
It was the fact that Yutu had hidden the collar deep into his upturned shirt collar and had so far thought it completely hidden from prying eyes. If /Kamui/ was capable of noticing it then surely other people on Yutu's route from his office to Kanoe's have.
Despite his terribly gay suit, his often dumb-blond spells, his shameless flirting, the fact that he was humping Kanoe without getting a hint of promotion out of it, Yutu had his manly pride and running around with a thick leather doggy collar visible is not something that would help keeping that pride sturdy.
Hearing her knight in shining armor (and doggy collar) outside, Kanoe swung the office door open. Her eyes were crazed, her hair unkempt, she grabbed Yutu's shirt and yanked him in violently.
Standing outside Kanoe's office door, Fuma shrugged. "Guess he'll have to get it felt covered next time around."
But Kanoe did not extort such favors out of Yutu today; she was far too troubled to do that right now.
"Yutu! I need help!"
Yutu blinked.
"/Kamui/ is driving me crazy! He's copying his butt again!"
"Oh no! That's the third time he's done that this week, you poor little thing…"
"I know! Listen, he's bored, you have to keep him entertained!"
Yutu had to gawk at that. He mouthed for a while, trying to put his mind back in order after receiving such a ridiculous, impossible mission. "Why can't he go destroy some kekkais? That's what he's supposed to do!"
"Listen to me Yutu." Kanoe aimed her newly cracked fingernail at her boy toy. "He is /Kamui/ and if he's not off destroying Tokyo it's none of our business to start questioning okay? Right now he's bored, he's driving me crazy and I have to make notes for the Boss's speech or I'll be the one at the lair all day bored out of my wits!"
Immediately Yutu saw the great danger in that, those days of the months or not, he's going to be milked dry!
"Okay Kanoe-san, I'll help you."
"No, not only you, everyone! Everyone amongst us is going to help in keeping that little demon entertained!"
Yutu gawked once more.
"What," she barked at him "am I a Dragon of Earth? No! You are! And he's your /Kamui/ so you deal with him!"
Yutu sighed and nodded. What else could he do really? He's lucky enough to get away from this little office meeting without Kanoe spread all over him.
And so Operation Entertain the Brat began.
"You! Come here!"
"My name is Shiyuu Kusanagi, Kigai-san."
"Yeah, whatever, just get yourself in here."
"Why?"
Never in his life was Kusanagi quite so intent on not moving a single inch from where he stood (by the Lair's mineral water tank is it happens). He grabbed his tiny plastic cup like it was his emergency parachute's string.
Yutu was standing before him in the most ridiculous imitation of basketball outfit (it was an imitation because if was pink, 'aint no basketball team in the world that would dignify itself by letting it's members wear pink, other then that the outfit was purely basketball stuff) glaring fire and brimstone at Kusanagi.
/Kamui/ passed him by in his red and white basketball outfit, dribbling an orange plastic sphere "You wanna play," he asked Kusanagi as if the Self Defense Force man was his bro from the hood and not the Dragons of Earth's main lazy member, if not a defector by all definition.
Kusanagi had to gawk at that. "Uh…you want me to play ball with you!"
"Yes big man, you can't possibly think I'll play alone against this little wimp here." Fuma inclined his thumb at Yutu's general direction.
"Hey!" came the shout from Yutu's general direction.
"I mean look at him." Fuma continued, undisturbed. "He's wearing pink for god's sake!"
"I said HEY!"
Playing basketball with his /Kamui/…as a way to pass his leave…
He had better things to do actually, a certain inugami mistress plus three balls of ice cream each was one of them but Kusanagi thought that if he'd refuse this little mission his /Kamui/ orders him then it's definitely his head rolling, if not other vital organs.
Kusanagi shrugged and removed his army jacket to prepare himself for a long sweaty game.
"Wait a minute," Yutu barked angrily.
"What is it pinky lump?"
"Please don't call me 'pinky lump' /Kamui," Yutu managed to hiss through his teeth without adding a few unrepeatable words along with it.
"But you are one…"
"Never mind that! That's not important at the moment! What's important is that it's three of us here, one ball, two baskets…that doesn't add up."
"Hmmm" Fuma rubbed his chin.
Yutu would have loved to make a remark about his /Kamui/ finally reaching an age when that gesture could be considered 'checking if he needs to shave already' but thought that if he did then it'd be his head rolling, or other vital parts. And if it were the vital parts and not his head would it be worth it, what with Kanoe finally off his back and all. Then he decided to shut up.
Just then Sakurazuka Seishiro walked by the three Dragons on his way to Fuma's room where surely he can find something fun to do especially if Fuma is actually there.
But Fuma wasn't there, Fuma was going to play basketball and so will Seishiro!
"Seishiro!" the teen leader of the DoE slapped a friendly hand on the back of Seishiro's finest Armani jacket.
Slowly, quite taken aback, Seishiro turned his head sideways to stare at his leader in his current attire "Ah, basketball clothes, a very nice theme for today's session I'd say."
Taking a look beyond his /Kamui, Seishiro dealt a wolfish smile at Yutu. "I'd say your outfit, Kigai-san, doesn't suit the theme though it does suit the session."
Yutu didn't dare even think up something nasty to spit back at the Sakurazukamori, what with the Sakurazukamori being the Sakurazukamori and all.
"We're playing basketball Seishiro, and you're joining," his /Kamui/ informed the assassin.
Seishiro remained silent, using his silence to pass the 'There is no way I'm chasing a ball around a court with a bunch of losers like you' massage through.
Fuma let his silence pass the 'You are SO doing it, you arrogant little…arrogant…stupid…stupid…handsome man you!' massage through.
They divided into teams like so: Fuma, the obviously well experienced and athletic player, teamed up with Seishiro who had his own advantages with his way-too-high-to-be-Japanese body size and was quite stealthy.
Yutu, who was not really that athletic and used up all his visits at the gym to pick up girls behind Kanoe's back, was teamed up with the tall, muscular, athletic, quick minded and stealthy Kusanagi to try and save their team's chances to win.
The game was a success.
It started when Seishiro, who has been a smoker since 1991 (at least, that's when Clamp began canonizing him as one), began falling behind at running after the ball across the court. He stopped in the middle of the field, gasping and cursing and spitting and promising his tree three yummy souls for dinner tonight.
Said three souls heard that and decided to slow things down for him. From then on they walked across the court, playing slow motion basketball, which soon began to grow on Fuma's nerves.
Then Kusanagi managed to shoot the ball through the other team's ring and, as a dance of celebration (he was pretty caught up by the game by now) grabbed his teammate and, howling him up in the air, danced in circles around the opponent team shouting "Shiyuu-heka, Shiyuu-heka, you the man! You the ma-n!"
It took Yutu three hours of pleading, sucking up and smooth-talking Seishiro into unfastening the tight sakura branches away from Kusanagi.
After that the game went completely dead: Seishiro quit, now promising the soul of a certain inugami mistress to his tree, Kusanagi wobbled away to change his underwear and trousers, Yutu had to drink something to sooth his aching throat after three straight hours of talking and so Fuma was left behind, bored out of his wits.
Satsuki, Kanoe's new weapon against boredom, sat on her Beast and stared down coldly at her leader.
Fuma stared back, tapping his shoe on the cold black marble floor with irritation.
"So…uh…what do you want to do," Satsuki managed to ask once she got over the embarrassment of the fact that she was forced to do babysitting and not even get paid to do it.
Fuma shrugged, getting even more irritated.
"Would you like to play some computer games?"
Fuma shrugged once more. "I've played them all already, it's boring."
Satsuki took a deep breath. "X-Box?"
Fuma waved his hand at the idea.
"PS2?"
"Been there, done that, b-o-r-i-n-g."
Satsuki thought that five thousand yen per hour were quite a nice charge for this babysitting job.
"Got DDR," Fuma asked his spirits up in hope.
Satsuki hissed.
Fuma hung his head and began whimpering like spoiled little brats often do when denied of their favorite toy.
Then he whipped his head heavenwards; hope sparkling in his eyes again. "Got Yaoi?"
A huge, wolfish, sinister, toothy grin spread on Satsuki's lips. "Do I have Yaoi," she cackled "Do I, who has the bandwidth from hell and the downloading speed of the devil? I, who has access to every computer, every forum, every inch in the internet? I would not have Yaoi?"
The grin infected Fuma. "Well then, otaku, scoot over on that cockpit of yours 'coz I'm coming over to share it with you."
Satsuki scooted over. Fuma leaped to her side and sprawled himself on the neat white leather seat by her.
They've spent the next three days before Beasts' screen, stopping for pizza, a soda and a random bathroom break when the need arose.
Three days of silence and calm for Kanoe and the other dragons.
But even Yaoi has its limit and soon Satsuki ran out of things to show Fuma.
When that happened Fuma was out on the prowl again, looking for trouble.
Kanoe's office door was locked. Fuma hung his head and began weeping; boredom has driven him to such an extreme.
Inside her office Kanoe was doing a little dance on the boarder of sanity. She wrung her hands through her hair and glared forward, accidentally laying her crazed eyes on her innocent office telephone.
She had to do something about this unbearable situation/Kamui/ was outside scratching the door to her office, her colleagues will soon pick up the noise and come to ask her what it is all about and look at her! Her hair must be a mess, tears of panic smudged her make up and for god's sake with all this worrying about /Kamui/ she had no time to go to the beauty saloon and fix that blasted broken nail!
Her maddened eyes lay on the serene cup of tea Yutu placed on her table right after he left her office limping somewhat.
Some people believe in God, his angels, in saints, miracles, Judas priests wielding sanctified bayonets.
Some people believe in specified gods who take care of those who work in the industry they protect and govern with their mighty forces, and in the occasional intermission of a godling and his sidekick/bum-buddy or of a warrior princess and her sidekick/lover.
Others believe in fairies with special assignments running around the world in invisible little spheres of magic, touching things with their magic wands and fixing what's broken in their line of work.
Some people believe in muses and inspirations, the Murphy Law, good fortune, Feng Shui, epiphanies.
Kanoe didn't know which of these beings she should thank, she was too dumbfounded by the brilliant idea that just popped into her mind.
The office door Fuma has been scratching for the last half an hour suddenly opened, just when he was about to take revenge at the underdressed female dog by marking territory on her door.
Fuma raised a pair of huge childish eyes at the beaming Kanoe appearing behind the still completely white door.
"/Kamui/-kun! How nice of you to drop by to see how I am," she chirped at him.
Fuma took a while to respond. "Uh…can I borrow the copying machine for a few hou…minutes?"
Gritting her teeth to hide her anger, Kanoe broke into another shining smile. "No you can't sweet little boy, but how about this," she said, thrusting a cup of tea into the Dragon of Earth's hand.
Fuma blinked at the teacup.
The tea in the cup swirled a little from the thrusts' motion.
Fuma blinked at the rich dark brown liquid and it's fine china cup some more.
The tea began to settle back into liquid serenity.
"You want me to drink tea?" Fuma's voice never sounded graver and closer to the true Kekkai tearing, sister slaying DoE before.
Swallowing the sudden ice cold dread, Kanoe nodded "It's…it's Ginseng, a well known stimulant if you catch my drift."
Fuma's eyes softened and the danger of massacre in the office was removed from Kanoe's head. "But I thought Yutu had already paid you his daily visit, surely you're not that desperate!" The threat of bitchiness, however, was not raised completely.
"Just drink the damn thing already!"
Shrugging, Fuma did. Three seconds later he was out cold on the floor, snoring hard enough to shake the glass in Kanoe's office windows.
"Good," Kanoe sniggered as she stood above the unconscious body of her boyfriend's leader. "Let Kakyou handle him for a while, the blond twat always complains about no one visiting him anyway, now he will have a reason to complain no more!...or some more…"
Twenty-five minutes later a world record in multi dream weaving has been achieved. Suddenly the entire Dragons of Earth team, Kanoe included, have been sucked into Kakyou's dreamscape.
They stood there, blinking and scratching their heads in confusion, amidst the big black void that was Kakyou's dreamscape. They've been placed in a circle around a little cool floating sphere on top of which sat the waif of a dreamgazer.
Kakyou was…not in the best of states…and that would be an understatement. His hair was a mess, sticking out here and there, and several hairs standing on edge as if from panic. His kimono was partially torn, disheveled and wrinkled. His eyes were crazed as they darted suspiciously from one Harbinger to the other as if looking for someone to blame for what he went through.
Finally, after long moments of awkward silence, tension stretching in the air like a lazy cat, Kakyou brought his hand into his abused kimono and pulled a single corn cob from the deeps of his cream colored gown.
He waved the vegetable at the cowering six, his eyes ablaze with wrath and madness "WHICH…ONE……OF…YOU…" He fought to gain control over his raging anger "…GAVE…HIM…THAT…IDEA! WHICH ONE OF YOU DID IT?"
Satsuki took a step back, emitting canine whimpers, begging for an easy and painless redemption.
Suddenly the Harbingers were no longer in the dreamscape, but back within reality. All the Harbingers save Satsuki.
The poor computer geek's screams of terror echoed through the den's corridors and halls as three days and nights of nightmares flushed her.
Fuma slept through the whole ordeal happily, drooling into his pillow and tossing occasionally to grab at the empty air around him. Apparently Kakyou wove a dream to oppose a far better option to break the brat's boredom. What the dreamscape contained remains a mystery to these very days. Why? Because no one dares to find out.
Eventually Fuma woke up and began roaming the den in search of something to do and so, once again, his frightened minions were forced to come up with something to occupy their leader's ever-slippery attention.
Kusanagi stood on the rooftop, his great mighty muscular right leg leaning on the step bordering the edge of the great roof. The wind blew through his under-treated stubby hair, moving the coarse sun crotched into honey brown strands. His steady gaze scanned Tokyo's scenery with the confident eyes of a well-trained soldier.
Metallic rattling behind his back snapped every ounce of confidence out of Kusanagi as the man nearly leaped a mile in the air at the sound.
He was suddenly reminded of the eighteen year old, highly bored He Who Hunts Down the Authority of God whom, thanks to Kanoe's persistence over the subject of Kusanagi's obligation to give everybody a hand with clearing some of /Kamui/'s boredom, now wielded a fully loaded M4.
The same ice-cold dread Kanoe experienced a few days ago now spread through Kusanagi's brain, leaking into the rest of his body's nerve system.
"So." Fuma grinned maliciously, leaning his left cheek on the rifle's long metallic body to set his aim. "I can kill people with this thing?"
"S…sure." Kusanagi began trembling as his leader moved the rifle's nuzzle around, often aiming at him.
"Which direction is the Seal's house from here?"
Without thinking Kusanagi took a few minutes of calculation before answering. "…Uh, that way." His great mighty muscular left arm pointed Clamp Campus-wards.
A nefarious grin split Fuma's face in two. "Excellent," he purred as he swung the rifle towards the so far strangely unnoticed great big pentacle in Tokyo's ground.
"You do know there's no way you can reach the Campus from here with that do you…"
Fuma glared at Kusanagi. "Party pooper."
Kusanagi shrugged and looked down at his little firearms collection. "I'd let you play with my Uzi but the authoress thinks no one will understand the jokes about it," he mumbled to himself before picking up his favorite 12-gauge shotgun.
The wind blew gently between the two men as silence took over the rooftop for a few moments.
Suspicious, Kusanagi slowly turned his eyes to his leader.
Fuma's mind was blank as his glossy eyes caressed the long thick rifle's shiny metallic body. His jaw was slightly hanging and a string of saliva dangled from the corner of the Harbinger's mouth.
"What?"
"…Big gun…"
Kusanagi sighed, turning the side of his head, where the big sweat drop hung, away from his leader's view. "Yes /Kamui, this is a big gun."
"How do you make it work?" If Fuma had a doggy tail it'd be wagging enthusiastically right now.
Kusanagi showed his leader how to work the rifle, keeping the deadly thing safely away from the trigger-happy teen.
"So…" The malicious stare of doom lit the dark red eyes of Fuma. "There's a lot of pumping action going on here?"
Kusanagi took a minute to realize what Fuma was trying to get to. His dark tan hid his burgundy blush when he finally got there.
"Come, Kusanagi, let me…cock your long, thick…rifle."
Kusanagi visibly cringed, taking a step backwards.
Fuma took a step forwards, reaching out to the weapon with a leer of pure evil. "Come Kusanagi; let me hold your barrel so I can pump it into action."
The poor Self Defense Force member grabbed hold of every piece of technical knowledge to keep his mind safe from the innuendo attack. "Y…you don't pump with the barrel…"
Fuma stopped advancing. "Why the sudden frigidness man?"
Kusanagi hissed.
"Oh I know why you don't want me to touch your rifle Kusanagi-san. I'm sorry I forgot you're not into legal aged men, you like underage middle school girls."
Kusanagi pumped his rifle.
"Ah, never mind." Fuma waved his hand dismissively at Kusanagi's general direction. "You're not bish enough to be gay anyways."
Kusanagi took a shot.
It took some time for Nataku to grow a new kneecap.
Luckily, Fuma being bedridden for a while was not such a bad thing as it fitted Seishiro's plans to entertain the /Kamui/ perfectly.
"…Three Little Piglets!" Fuma blinked at the children's book his clone held up to him.
"I like it, would you like me to read it for you daddy? I can read!"
Fuma glared at his sexless…thing and grumbled. There was nothing better to do anyway was there? Every other Harbinger was either too angry to play with him or too spent from playing with Fuma's aftermath.
And so Fuma, the great and mighty Super Brat, Super Seme (unless there's a Sakurazukamori involved), He Who Hunts the Authority of God, he who can (in the future) put a frog plushy on his head and keep looking damn hot, sat down by his child wannabe and listened to the clone reading out.
"And so the Big Bad Wolf huffed and puffed and…"
"I'm sorry, did you say that he 'huffed and puffed'?" Fuma yanked his brain out of the gutter that is picking ice cream flavors, and turned to face Nataku after spreading on the clone's little car shaped bed with his back to the thing.
Nataku scanned the text once more "Yes."
Fuma glared at the book. "Let me get this straight; the Big Bad Wolf tries to bring down a house made of stone by huffing and puffing on the damned thing?"
Nataku checked the chronicles again before nodding innocently.
Fuma flipped. "What do you mean 'huffed and puffed'! Is he a wind user? Can he actually make wind that's strong enough to knock down a whole building! NO! he's not! So why is he trying to do it like that! It's ridiculous!"
Nataku dug himself deeper under his Care Bears sheet covered duvet. "Uh daddy, it's only a children's book…"
"Yeah but still, this is preposterous! I can't believe I've let you read it all this time; it'd give you all the wrong ideas! Huffing a puffing is not the way to bring down a stone and concrete made building; you have to use energy blasts, defile the place with blood a bit, collect four soda cans and mysteriously place them about to work an extra cool looking ki trick no one will ever get to the bottom of!
"You need to put a little heart into it! You need to put some soul into your job, not half-a-- it with silly huffing and puffing like some asthma diseased idiot!"
Fuma leaped off the red car shaped bed, grabbing Nataku by his hand. "Come Kazuki, the world's destruction awaits us!" He dashed out of the room with Nataku in his pajama and bunny shaped slippers in toe.
And so the solution for Fuma's abysmal boredom was finally found: actually carrying out his duties as leader of the Dragons of Earth.
The rest is history.
(end)