When the fifth-years wandered into the potions room that morning, a good ninety percent of them did a double take. Snape was nowhere to be found, a very pale Kerri sat in his usual place behind the desk, and McGonagall hovered near the corner of the classroom like a fierce bird of prey. As they entered, Harry and Hermione shot the girl reassuring smiles, while Ron gave her a thumbs up.
Kerri barely noticed these gestures of encouragement. She was shaking like a leaf, and jumping every time a student that came through the door. A growing pile of shredded parchment sat in her lap, and McGonagall had to come over and lay a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from starting on Snape's notes. When Malfoy and his goons came into the room, they began sniggering at every move she made. And to top it all off, just as she stood up to start the class, Umbridge came waltzing in, simpering smile and all. Draco jumped up, all big grins, and offered the woman his chair.
McGonagall made a noise that sounded remarkably like, "Suck-up."
Kerri ran a hand through her hair, got it tangled, and pulled it loose to further laughter. This was not going to be fun. Even though she had Snape's notes, knew the potion, and was reasonably sure that she actually might be able to do this, her hands still shook. Badly. And the temptation to hunt down Fred and George in order to take them up on their offer kept getting stronger.
She carefully flicked her wand and copied the potions instruction up onto the board. "T-today we are working on a restorative draught. The mandrakes you are using are immature, so the potions will not be very powerful, but the procedure is the same for any age of mandrake." She swallowed, and then pronounced what sounded to her like a death sentence. "F-feel free to-to ask questions if you have trouble."
From reading her Professor's notes, she knew that he normally plastered the recipe up on the board and let them go at it. Nobody was ever brave enough to ask questions.
"How fine is 'finely chopped?'"
"Finer than that."
"How do you put in three and a half drops?"
"Put seven in another container, then halve it."
"Which root is which?"
"The one trying to run away is the Mandrake."
"Is it supposed to bubble like that?"
"No."
"Is it going to explode?"
"Likely."
"Dammit."
Kerri answered the questions as best and as concisely as she could, carefully keeping her trembling hands hidden in her skirts. At one point, she glanced over at McGonagall and received an approving nod. She nodded shakily back, and headed over to Hermione and Neville.
Oh dear. Neville, despite his best efforts, still stared sadly at his cauldron, which contained a mixture that looked more like pea soup than the bright green potion he was supposed to have. "I should be doing better, I just keep expecting to find Professor Snape hovering over me." He stirred at his potion again and it spat blue sparks at him. "Where did I go wrong?" he asked miserably.
Kerri was about to answer when she was interrupted by a mocking voice behind her. Unfortunately for Neville, Malfoy had overheard his question, and felt to was necessary to answer. "Well, where to begin . . . You were born, and-"
"Very clever, Mr. Malfoy." Kerri cut short the monologue that would have weighed heavily on her already frayed nerves. "Now, do shut up."
"Harper, I-"
"Miss Harper, if you don't mind."
"I do, but anyway . . . Miss Harper, I don't think that a teacher should talk that way to students."
"Not that you care a wink when Snape tells any Gryffindor to shut up," muttered Harry over his cauldron. The students surrounding him chuckled.
The stress finally took its toll on Kerri, and she snapped, "Well, that's all right then, since I'm not a teacher, and if you put as much effort into your other classes as you do in this one, I don't really see how you are going to be a student much longer." She leant over and poked at Malfoy's potion . "Really, Mr. Malfoy, what is this supposed to be?"
Malfoy looked a few steps short of murderous, and pointedly turned his back on her before talking loudly to those around him. "You know, Professor Umbridge is a very high ranking member of the Ministry. I'm sure that she could remove any teachers, or potential teachers, that she felt were not doing their jobs."
Whatever result he was expecting, he didn't get. Kerri raised a visibly shaking hand to rub her eyes and asked, "Draco, why do you do this to me? I've done nothing that warrants this. Why are you such a git to everyone? I don't want you as an enemy," A grimace. "I've got enough of those as is. You've lived a privileged life compared to most, so why do you lash out at us all?"
There was a beat of silence as Kerri saw Draco stiffen as though someone had stabbed him. Slowly, he turned around and looked her in the eye. "Privileged? Privileged?" he hissed, "Is that what you think? Mudblood, if you knew for a second-" He stopped and got himself under control. "It's none of your business."
Shocked speechless, Kerri stared at him. The class continued on around the two as if nothing had ever been said. Draco held eye contact for a moment more before slumping back into his chair and viciously attacking his mandrake with his knife. Kerri backed up a few steps and shot a helpless glance at McGonagall. The professor shook her head ever so slightly and gestured that she return to helping Neville. Obediently, she went, but she couldn't help looking over her shoulder at Draco every once in a while.
The rest of the class passed uneventfully. No more potions exploded, and nobody turned themselves into toads. In fact, save for Umbridge's little coughs, Kerri had almost calmed down. But every time she walked past the front row, the squat professor cleared her throat. I swear, if she does that one more time, I'm going to . . .
"Hem, hem!"
Kerri twitched visibly. With an exaggerated sigh, she turned to Umbridge and smiled sweetly. "Yes, Professor?"
"Yes, well, I was wondering . . ." The toad-like woman stopped and made a great show of thinking hard.
"Yes?"
"Do you actually expect to ever teach students one day? Because I really don't ever see that happening. You simply aren't teacher material."
Snickers from the Slytherin side. Draco didn't look up. Kerri gritted her teeth. "As opposed to you, I presume?"
"Well yes, of cour-"
Kerri's mouth ran away from her once more. "Oh, well, I'm sorry. I'll just stop challenging the students to think for themselves, feed them the pre-digested knowledge that you find in textbooks, favor them simply because of parentage, and hand them the O.W.L.S. on a silver platter, then." She leant over the desk to glare at Umbridge, not even noticing that the class had gone utterly still to watch the confrontation. "And then, I will allow You-Know-Who to simply run them over because they haven't a clue of what to do."
Umbridge puffed up and frowned in anger. "Miss Harper, I find that extremely rude. You are still a student and as such-"
"I am Professor Snape's student, not yours, thank Merlin. Nerve-wracking as it is, at least I will actually learn something from him. You, on the other hand, seem to be capable of nothing beyond the paragraphs of a book." Umbridge turned red, and Kerri distinctly heard McGonagall snicker. "Although, nosing around where you don't belong appears to be a talent of yours as well."
"A week of detention!" screeched Umbridge, now a rather becoming shade of fuchsia.
Just as livid, Kerri crossed her arms and leant back in a perfect Snape pose. Looking down her nose, she declared, "You know, you're actually rather amusing, in a 'What-the-hell-is-your-problem' sort of way."
The look on Umbridge's face almost made the week of detentions worth it.