Title: Knowing
Author: Wes Lane
Pairing: HP/SS, HP/SB
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: character death, angst
Spoilers: PS/SS, CoS, PoA, GoF
Feedback: would be much appreciated – I'm a new writer
Archive: my LJ and whoever wants it. Just let me know where it went.
Summary: Morning musings
Disclaimer: I own none of Potterverse. It's all owned by the wonderful Ms. J. K. Rowling.
He woke up alone as always. His lover never stayed the night. They both knew that wasn't what the boy came to him for. He came to get a little piece of forgetfulness and to pretend that death wasn't the final goodbye.
It was almost funny to be a substitute for a dead man. When the boy came to him for the first time he'd been nonplussed. It wasn't something he'd ever thought would happen between them, but now he could imaging otherwise.
He was a broken man, but he would take the boy anyway he could. It had destroyed something inside him when for the first time the boy called out another man's name when he pushed into him. Something, that had survived his disastrous life, had been broken that moment.
Now he just accepted what could never be between them and what could have been. Every time the boy came and screamed 'Severus' and he heard the phantom laughter of a dead man, he cried inside and accepted that forgiveness wasn't for him.